hi
not going to pretend to "feel your pain" or anything...
but remember: Jesus is God made Flesh, and He understands you (and everybody else, too) better than you know yourself, better than any human being will ever know you. He even knows every nook and cranny in your heart of hearts, that region of the human psyche that is un-reachable, even by professionals.
Thanks for coming here with your prayer request and giving the background. Its...crazy, to me...these nightmare incidents that pop up in modern society. And...crazier, still? How soon everybody else seems to move on. School shooting, here locally, maybe 5 years ago. All but forgotten. Local politico is making protecting everybody's gun rights his main aim, and I don't even see the bumper stickers from not too long ago. (post)modern culture...often heartless, cold and cruel.
Praying for you, of course. Keep us posted, if you feel like it.
