prayer request - looking into a new diagnosis in therapy

[evenifigoalone]

The potential diagnosis is avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), essentially it is social anxiety on steroids. Social anxiety disorder and AvPD have a TON of overlap and the difference is a bit subtle, so much so as that some schools of thought either believe they are one in the same or that social anxiety is a spectrum of severity with SAD on one end and AvPD on the other. But AvPD is lifelong, involves very very deeply rooted fears, and tends to be more severe and pervasive.

Therapist is currently on vacation, but I have shot her a message to look over when she comes back in a couple days.

I'm going to defer to the professionals on whether I really have it or not, but..... it really does seem like I might. I have a deep, deep, deep fear of people, of messing up and people shutting me out as a result. I have fantasies of living as a hermit and thereby cutting nearly every single person out of my life. I know that wouldn't be right or fair to do, but even so it really feels "safer" that way. Even after spending time with friends and even having a GOOD time, I often feel bad about the interaction afterwards, thinking I must have done something wrong and annoyed someone.

But regardless. Please pray for wisdom for both myself and my therapist as we discuss and explore this possibility.

 

[for_his_glory]

Moving this over to Prayer Request for a better fit so you will have more praying for you as only the staff respond here.

 

[for_his_glory]

Praying for you that you do not have this issue

 

[Christ_empowered]

Not to be a bummer bob but…

Treatment generally consists of talk and pills. Hopefully you’ll never deal with shock and such. So….

In a practical sense diagnosis is of limited help. In avpd I think they are to avoid benzodiazepines because of higher risk of dosage increases and dependence. That’s more of the shrinks issue than yours.

I guess I’m saying that sometimes it does help to have a name for what ails you. My official diagnosis is apparently schizoaffective bipolar type. I find this somewhat helpful in the sense that I have the anxiety mood and increasingly infrequent psychotic problems, but it’s still mostly to describe problems and guide treatment. And….

People change. For obvious reasons I have taken an interest in how the more severe cases do over the long haul. I cannot overemphasize the importance of faith family and meaningful social connections. And…

Jesus! One thing I couldn’t deal with when interacting with psych dissidents was the non Christian often ungodly belief systems and outlooks. I pray for them but I cannot really truly connect with them. And yet…

I remember one psychiatric survivor who was devoted to Jesus. He helped clarify my thinking on the matter and also boosted my faith.

Sorry to ramble. In general I’d caution anyone against doing a deep dive into the world of mental health.

 

[evenifigoalone]

Thought I'd say least give an update before I disappear entirely. I am not officially diagnosed with anything yet, that will take a while. And I may choose not to go as far as an official diagnosis, due to stigmas around personality disorders. It'd be enough for me just to know "for sure" on my end.

Suffice to say: my therapist agrees that AvPD sounds like a likely explanation for my symptoms.
Clearly something is up with me, so I'm just happy to have an explanation.

Oh, and since I'm leaving anyways:
Miss me with the "anxiety makes you a fake Christian" nonsense. If Jesus could experience a state of panic so severe that He was sweating drops of blood in the garden of Gethsemane, then clearly experiencing anxiety and fear is a human condition and not a sin.