[__ Prayer __] Pressure

[Christ_empowered]

Ugh


I’m blessed I thank Jesus Christ and my long suffering parents. Thing is…
Cops in particular seem to have an issue with me. I haven’t been arrested in 11 years. I have a serious misdemeanor conviction on my record but I’ve been off of probation for nearly 7 years now. So…?


I sometimes go out driving on back roads. There was a cop ahead on a major road I take to come back to my place. He was in a lane to go straight. I usually take a left there and there’s a left turn lane. All of a sudden he went into the left turn lane. And…
A gas station was also in the left and I needed to refuel so I went left and got ️. lol


This is just one of the more recent creepy incidents. Other times cops have yelled out at me from their cars while in traffic.
I’m poor unemployed and labeled with schizophrenia. But I’m not living in poverty thanks to Jesus Christ my lung suffering parents and oddly enough in part because of my schizophrenia label . He moves in mysterious ways His wonders to achieve…


So I dunno I’m not intensely fearful or paranoid but…? What to make of it?
Thanks

 

[Christ_empowered]

I seem to be known in the community but I don’t know many people. Ugh Jesus Christ saves! He is Good and has extended some of that Goodness towards me and I am increasingly thankful .
It’s just frustrating in this crazy making darned any way you turn sort of way.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Even the workers here to pain the buildings are taunting me. It’s…fun lol
Weird thing? I need to lose weight but I’m healthy and surprisingly normal now. I even am blessed with decent clothes and I’m no longer effeminate etc and…

Ugh not fun but it is what it is…

 

[Christ_empowered]

I think people in my building want me to move. That would explain 3 am bullying omg
But I cannot work so I don’t work so I can generally do ok with not enough sleep here and there. Is it by pride that makes some of this sting so much at times? But other times it’s just…isolating.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Especially when I’m healthy and people bring up
My hiv status. People I don’t know at all.


Isolating.



On the plus side the buildings are looking good new colors some exterior improvements etc. I’m blessed and trying to be more genuinely grateful .

 

[Marianne333]

Saying a prayer for you CE

 

[Christ_empowered]

Getting over it lol


Control. A lot of this is about control. Ordinarily I’d be homeless or maybe in a group home. Instead…
I live in a nice modest place and do as I please all day. Schizophrenia is sort of like being retired lol


I’m blessed it’s not just material things but we live in a material world so…
Those do matter and I thank Jesus Christ and my long suffering parents.


I had to call corporate about a local big box store. Missing items from a curbside pick up order. Not the first time. Small city I guess “high functioning “ people with schizophrenia should not get our moneys worth? Ugh I’m getting replacements by decree of corporate lol capitalism…not so terrible after all…
Sometimes, anyway.


Parents are kind to me and doing well. God is Good and His Goodness is a fixed attribute eternal just like Him. Focus on Jesus…

 

[Christ_empowered]

Some dude screamed outside my condo about me living off the government etc.
Ugh