Problems With My Recent Experiences...

[thegovernor]

Hello everyone, I am a Catholic in my 20's that has wandered over to the protestant side of things, but I have been having a few issues. I find myself really not enjoying the typical protestant service at every church I have been too. My girlfriend has taken me to three totally unrelated churches near weekly over the past year, and at each one I just get the same list of problems.

Coming from a Catholic background, I am used to around 45 - 55 minute structured masses. With the protestant service I find there to be entirely too much singing. Between 25 to 30 minutes worth on average, some songs going up to 5 or 6 minutes. I do understand the value of praise in song, but it really seems like overkill and the type of attempt at 'cool and relevant' Christianity that I find off putting. I really would like to find someplace where the music is there, but not the focus. Is this a complaint that others have or am I being a stick in the mud?

I also don't like the amount of levity that all of these protestant churches feel the need to pepper into every sermon. It seems like they need to be making people laugh or making every analogy about sports to reach the audience. I really end up feeling like I have wasted an hour and a half when I leave each week, and that makes me feel terrible.

Lastly, I think it's truly great how kind everyone seems to be, even remembering your name after a ten second conversation. But I get a bit overwhelmed at just how forward and direct many of the people are. They have no problem coming up to me, grabbing my shoulder, and asking me to tell them about when I found Christ, pushing 'fellowship' on me, and asking how I use Christ in my day to day life. I wouldn't say I am offended with it, just... it's uncomfortable. I wouldn't go to a random person at the town hall on election day and say 'hey! tell me about when you became a republican and how you use supply side economics in your day to day activities'. I am there to better my knowledge and understanding, not expand my phone book.

I would like to find a place that combines Catholic style structure and reverence with more protestant doctrines, and I'm just trying to discover if I am not alone in these feelings. I am pretty new to this, and any help or advice would be appreciated. If I come off sounding like a jerk, I'm not, I just don't know how else to get these things across. Thanks for reading!

 

[WIP]

Sounds to me like you've been attending some rather liberal churches. Perhaps consider attending a more conservative church. Missouri Synod Lutheran is one that comes to mind.

 

[handy]

Sounds to me like you've been attending some rather liberal churches. Perhaps consider attending a more conservative church. Missouri Synod Lutheran is one that comes to mind.

Yep, as I was reading your post, this very thought came to me as well.

I'm from the opposite side of the spectrum...started out completely unchurched and went through a number of Protestant churches.

In the last few, I had the same responses you seem to be having...too much emphasis on singing and emotion...but no real depth to the teaching. It all seemed so shallow to me as well as to my husband. And boy, I hear you about the comedy routines and the sport's analogies. Gah....

I'm now in the Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod, and I would wager that if you went to church with me this Sunday, you would find the service very familiar. We do a full liturgical service. Plus, both pastors who serve our congregation are excellent teachers of the Scriptures.

Even within the LCMS there is a drift among some congregations to the "praise and worship" mode (praise being one kind of song and worship being another kind of song)...however, you can still find plenty that follow the regular liturgy.

But no...you're not alone. It might feel that way and it's almost politically incorrect to express these views within the Body today...so much emphasis is on the "seeker friendly" style of worship. However, there are plenty of folks who really aren't appreciative of the current style of worship. Even within my family, none of whom are LCMS, and many of whom are in their 20's and early 30's, there is a distinct distaste of the current mode of "praise and worship" style of worship within the Protestant Church these days. Except for my one sister and her family, all the rest of my family seek out churches with a more structured style of worship...a little less heavy on the songs and emotion and more emphasis on preaching and teaching the Scriptures.

 

[Mike]

Gov, it sounds like your girlfriend is protestant (not too interested in the Catholic church) and you are meeting her half-way. I appreciate that, but I hope you both have a plan for the long run including how children would be raised. You may not be that far along, but if you're serious about dating, marriage is a very possible end point.

I would suggest you save yourself some time and call some churches. Ask them if they have a more traditional service and if they could describe them. I was raised Catholic. I sought out a change for doctrinal reasons I came to have, but I have always been most comfortable with a liturgy. Something less formal just feels like a "Bible study" to me. This is just preference, and it's not bad, but I just don't feel like I've been to "church".

My family settled on the LCMS that both WIP and Dora reference. Typically, if the specific LCMS church has a traditional service, you'll feel very much at home in it. Ours has several different services with different styles, so you'd want to ask about them before you attend.

I'm not trying to sell the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. I'm just giving you an example, and saying you should ask questions before you go. Possibly, these churches have services you are interested in, but you went to a more contemporary one. Our church has a contemporary service that only lasts about 40 minutes, and I never take my family to it. In that time, it's a lot of multi-media and songs. I hope this isn't received badly by others, but it feels like a "dumbing down" of church to appeal to a segment of the community. I'd rather they be there than not in church at all, but Christians need to be "fed" at church - not entertained or emotionally boosted, IMO.

As far as all the overwhelming greetings you receive, I think every church develops its own culture. Protestants are definitely more comfortable talking about your "relationship with Jesus" than Catholic churches in my experience, but the degree to which they get in your face probably varies from local church to local church. I don't blame you. When we were visiting churches, I would have been uncomfortable too.

 

[Nacho]

Go to a church that preaches the gospel and doesn't compromise it.

Just make sure you don't go to a church that you "feel" is best for you.....try several and when you feel the Holy Spirit leading you to a certain church then obey and attend that church.

I wish I could change lots of things about my church, but that is the church I was led to attend so I will appreciate what I do have and not worry about what I don't have.

After all church isn't about us, its about worshiping God.

 

[WIP]

Go to a church that preaches the gospel and doesn't compromise it.

Just make sure you don't go to a church that you "feel" is best for you.....try several and when you feel the Holy Spirit leading you to a certain church then obey and attend that church.

I wish I could change lots of things about my church, but that is the church I was led to attend so I will appreciate what I do have and not worry about what I don't have.

After all church isn't about us, its about worshiping God.

I agree with this as well. Too often I fear that many "churches" in today's society are selling rather than preaching by appealing to our desire for entertainment or what "feels" good.

 

[Danus]

..............the protestant service I find there to be entirely too much singing. Between 25 to 30 minutes worth on average, some songs going up to 5 or 6 minutes. I do understand the value of praise in song, but it really seems like overkill and the type of attempt at 'cool and relevant' Christianity that I find off putting. I really would like to find someplace where the music is there, but not the focus. Is this a complaint that others have or am I being a stick in the mud?

I also don't like the amount of levity that all of these protestant churches feel the need to pepper into every sermon. It seems like they need to be making people laugh or making every analogy about sports to reach the audience. I really end up feeling like I have wasted an hour and a half when I leave each week, and that makes me feel terrible.

Lastly, I think it's truly great how kind everyone seems to be, even remembering your name after a ten second conversation. But I get a bit overwhelmed at just how forward and direct many of the people are. They have no problem coming up to me, grabbing my shoulder, and asking me to tell them about when I found Christ, pushing 'fellowship' on me, and asking how I use Christ in my day to day life. I wouldn't say I am offended with it, just... it's uncomfortable. I wouldn't go to a random person at the town hall on election day and say 'hey! tell me about when you became a republican and how you use supply side economics in your day to day activities'. I am there to better my knowledge and understanding, not expand my phone book.

I would like to find a place that combines Catholic style structure and reverence with more protestant doctrines, and I'm just trying to discover if I am not alone in these feelings. I am pretty new to this, and any help or advice would be appreciated. If I come off sounding like a jerk, I'm not, I just don't know how else to get these things across. Thanks for reading!

....... Man, I have no advice for you, but I sure hope you find a comfortable place. I attend the very services that bother you, and I do understand how you feel.

I find worship at church, just that, Worship. The sermons are fine, but I've noticed the protestant crowd does their bible study and lessons largely outside of the service itself. On any given night there are over 40 small groups or bibles studies, or even other classes at the church that anyone can attend.

My church is nondenominational yet we have groups that meet that are of different theological and denominational leanings because let's face it, we are not all cut from the same cloth in our thoughts and traditions to orthodox Christianity. Our church does control the groups as to what is being taught and such, but we have a wide variety of back grounds.

In our services we have a lot of Pentecostal folks who are always "AMAN!" in the services or holding their hands up during the songs....former Baptist and Lutherans usually slip in after the singing or on the last song. You can't tell who came form a Methodist back ground. They do whatever. Then you have the Presbyterians like me. All opinionated; Think we know everything (bible hippies) and I have known of a few former Catholics and Episcopalians. you can spot them on day one. :o