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Protecting and defending our spouses

When your spouse is attacked: my decision

  • I will simply ignore him and we walk away

    Votes: 1 20.0%

  • Sue and have him jailed for at least a year

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • May God judge you

    Votes: 1 20.0%

  • Return the punch

    Votes: 4 80.0%
  • Total voters
    5
Classik said:
Well. I know diddly about the law. However returning the punch is also considered unlawful. Both of you would be charged. Not always the case of who hit first: magnitude of damage is considered.
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Who cares if it's unlawful? Not me. He can pick the game but he can't change the rules. That's my wife and no one will harm her. Going to jail later doesn't matter, she needs help right now.
 
Edward said:
Yep. The worlds full of unpredictable people. But if a guy punches my girl, the response has to be immediate and severe. He didn't just 'punch my girl' He attacked her. If a man displays a willingness to be violent and strike out at someone, then it's reasonable to assume that he may continue to be violent, hence the immediate response.

Come on ladies, if a man punched you and your man was right there...how many of you would want him to walk away?
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If the puncher did not continue in violence, I would want my husband or anyone else for that matter to get me out of harms way and call the police. The only time I can see returning violence for violence is when it is perceived that the victims life is in danger or serious injury. One punch just doesn't do it for me.
 
If he didn't continue? How long should he wait to see? If a man punches you and the husband just stands there, it may encourage the attacker to think he could hit you again. To me, getting her out of harms way is by taking over the fight which gets his attention off of my girl. She can then retreat and call the police.
 
Edward said:
Who cares if it's unlawful? Not me. He can pick the game but he can't change the rules. That's my wife and no one will harm her. Going to jail later doesn't matter, she needs help right now.
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I think the most nature response for a husband who loves his life is to protect her.I would wonder about a husband or boyfriend who would watch a man come up and hit his wife and do nothing.
 
Deborah13 said:
If the puncher did not continue in violence, I would want my husband or anyone else for that matter to get me out of harms way and call the police. The only time I can see returning violence for violence is when it is perceived that the victims life is in danger or serious injury. One punch just doesn't do it for me.
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I agree Deborah.That sounds like a wise choice.
 
Kathi said:
I think the most nature response for a husband who loves his life is to protect her.I would wonder about a husband or boyfriend who would watch a man come up and hit his wife and do nothing.
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I couldn't ever look into the mirror again if I didn't defend the ones I love against threats or attacks.
 
Edward said:
If he didn't continue? How long should he wait to see? If a man punches you and the husband just stands there, it may encourage the attacker to think he could hit you again. To me, getting her out of harms way is by taking over the fight which gets his attention off of my girl. She can then retreat and call the police.
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Remember as soon as you enter the fight you've presented your condition. Best be sure you can withstand the violence ie. win. A wise man once said " It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt." ( or something like that ). If you enter the fight physically, and it antagonizes a stronger and more violent foe, be prepared that you and your missus might cop some further slappin'.

Personally I'd first be very clear that this isn't gonna happen again ( fire a warning shot ) and then if the attacker persists shoot ( with the fists etc of course ) :D
 
All I have to say is that if you mess with my husband you mess with me. I'll make you wish you were never born. That goes for the rest of my family. There are a few that have found out what it is like to mess with my family and they don't do it anymore. I'm not sure how Biblical that is or what the law says, but it is how I am and I'm probably not going to change.
 
agua. said:
Remember as soon as you enter the fight you've presented your condition. Best be sure you can withstand the violence ie. win. A wise man once said " It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt." ( or something like that ). If you enter the fight physically, and it antagonizes a stronger and more violent foe, be prepared that you and your missus might cop some further slappin'.

Personally I'd first be very clear that this isn't gonna happen again ( fire a warning shot ) and then if the attacker persists shoot ( with the fists etc of course ) :biggrin
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Oh, I was going with the presumption that the husband is unarmed at the time of the incident. If I'm armed it's over. I would take immediate control of the situation without a punch being thrown (*probably*, depends on the situation)

If I was unarmed and he was bigger than me, it doesn't matter, enter the fray with all manner of enthusiasm. I may get the worst of it overall, but he'll know that he was in a fight afterwards. The goal is to protect the lady and win/lose.draw it can be accomplished with fisticuffs. The attackers focus would go off of my lady and violence towards her would cease. She could retreat somewhat for safety and call in the boys in blue while I'm dealing with the attacker.

I actually had a similar incident once. I was walking in the neighborhood and heard yelling. A man and woman came into view from around the corner and the man was dragging her by her hair and slapping her around while they walked. She was yelling for help. I of course went to them to see if I could help (I was armed with a pistol) and I approached and said do you need help to the woman. The man began yelling at me that this was his wife and to mind my own beeswax. (Strong odor of alcohol, they were both drunk). I do not like to get in the middle of a man and his wife, who knows what the real situation is, too many variable) Nevertheless, violence is not to be tolerated and she was looking pretty beat up with marks on her face and such. So I looked at the woman and said, do you want help? She said yes please. He was about my size and drunk, I wasn't drunk so didn't feel the need to draw a weapon. So I punched him in the face a couple times and grabbed him by his long hair and took him to the ground. He wouldn't let go of her hair so I punched him a couple more times in the face and told him to let go of her. He wouldn't so I repeated the procedure of punch him a couple times and order him to let her go. I probably had to punch him 10-12 times before he got it through his drunk head that he better let her go. Eventually he released his hold on her hair and she began walking away without another word. (I think she did say thank you). I held him down for about a minute more to give her time to put some distance between them, then released him. He was bleeding a lot and still shouting obscenities at me but turned and began walking away. She had made a corner by then so I felt it was over and went on my way. I didn't call the police. Even though I was armed, the thought of drawing never entered my mind. It wasn't necessary. I am very familiar with weaponry and am very practiced up on draws and know the local laws very well. Drawing a weapon for me is...automatic at a certain point of threatening situation. I don't need to think about it. I didn't need it in this situation, so it never left the holster. I didn't even think about the weapon until later I realized that my instincts and prior training (practice) (or the Spirit) led me and took over. (another time a dog attacked me and my friend and I had to fire a warning shot into the grass to turn the dog off of his charge, which it did, and later, my friend told me that he never seen anyone draw so fast. I didn't think about that either, I just did it. So it is true that in a stressful situation that one automatically reverts to the level of their training.)
 
I had a chance to ask my husband about this this morning. His immediate reaction was "I'm going to knock the tar out of him." lol. I knew he would say that. He's a redneck raised in the days when getting in a good fist fight was a Saturday night good time. I mention this because he doesn't have a fear of getting beat up, it wouldn't be the first time. And heaven forbid that anyone solve their differences by involving the police, you just take care of things yourself.
After discussing it for a couple of minutes, things like, In most cases would you be able to know if the guy was going to continue beating her. He thought about and said yes. So I asked what would be the motive to beat him up rather than taking care of her and calling the police. lol Light bulb moment, police.
Then he said that it really would depend on the circumstances as to what someone should do.

I think that police officers face situations similar to this in their careers. Their fist is a bullet. The ability to correctly assess a situation without using more force than necessary to protect oneself and others is paramount.
 
Deborah13 said:
I had a chance to ask my husband about this this morning. His immediate reaction was "I'm going to knock the tar out of him." lol. I knew he would say that. He's a redneck raised in the days when getting in a good fist fight was a Saturday night good time. I mention this because he doesn't have a fear of getting beat up, it wouldn't be the first time. And heaven forbid that anyone solve their differences by involving the police, you just take care of things yourself.
After discussing it for a couple of minutes, things like, In most cases would you be able to know if the guy was going to continue beating her. He thought about and said yes. So I asked what would be the motive to beat him up rather than taking care of her and calling the police. lol Light bulb moment, police.
Then he said that it really would depend on the circumstances as to what someone should do.

I think that police officers face situations similar to this in their careers. Their fist is a bullet. The ability to correctly assess a situation without using more force than necessary to protect oneself and others is paramount.
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True that. I like your husband. Sounds like you have a good man with a good heart. If you read my posts very carefully, you will see that I am of the mind that it is dependent upon the exact circumstances. It is difficult to discuss 'what 'ifs' like this because in the real situation, there are many variables that are significant. Body language, distance, tone, the atmosphere of the situation. To try to go by a recipe so to speak is very hard in a dynamic situation. But generally speaking, a response to violence against the (loved one) is an immediate response of returned violence. This is a mindset, and a valuable one. To take another pacifist mindset would be a mistake in that when we are in a stressful situation, we revert to the level of our training and previous mindset. This could lead to losing and more injury if one has made up their mind to be pacifist, because the pacifist mindset would make a hesitation ingrained, and if the attacker chose to continue the assault, he would still have the advantage. Whereas if one had already made up their mind to meet violence with violence, the attacker would be busy picking himself up off the ground instead of continuing to hurt the wife.

If the body language and dynamics of the situation allowed it, perhaps a return punch would not be necessary for the wife's continued safety. It's all about mindset and dynamics.
 
Edward said:
Oh, I was going with the presumption that the husband is unarmed at the time of the incident. If I'm armed it's over. I would take immediate control of the situation without a punch being thrown (*probably*, depends on the situation)

If I was unarmed and he was bigger than me, it doesn't matter, enter the fray with all manner of enthusiasm. I may get the worst of it overall, but he'll know that he was in a fight afterwards. The goal is to protect the lady and win/lose.draw it can be accomplished with fisticuffs. The attackers focus would go off of my lady and violence towards her would cease. She could retreat somewhat for safety and call in the boys in blue while I'm dealing with the attacker.

I actually had a similar incident once. I was walking in the neighborhood and heard yelling. A man and woman came into view from around the corner and the man was dragging her by her hair and slapping her around while they walked. She was yelling for help. I of course went to them to see if I could help (I was armed with a pistol) and I approached and said do you need help to the woman. The man began yelling at me that this was his wife and to mind my own beeswax. (Strong odor of alcohol, they were both drunk). I do not like to get in the middle of a man and his wife, who knows what the real situation is, too many variable) Nevertheless, violence is not to be tolerated and she was looking pretty beat up with marks on her face and such. So I looked at the woman and said, do you want help? She said yes please. He was about my size and drunk, I wasn't drunk so didn't feel the need to draw a weapon. So I punched him in the face a couple times and grabbed him by his long hair and took him to the ground. He wouldn't let go of her hair so I punched him a couple more times in the face and told him to let go of her. He wouldn't so I repeated the procedure of punch him a couple times and order him to let her go. I probably had to punch him 10-12 times before he got it through his drunk head that he better let her go. Eventually he released his hold on her hair and she began walking away without another word. (I think she did say thank you). I held him down for about a minute more to give her time to put some distance between them, then released him. He was bleeding a lot and still shouting obscenities at me but turned and began walking away. She had made a corner by then so I felt it was over and went on my way. I didn't call the police. Even though I was armed, the thought of drawing never entered my mind. It wasn't necessary. I am very familiar with weaponry and am very practiced up on draws and know the local laws very well. Drawing a weapon for me is...automatic at a certain point of threatening situation. I don't need to think about it. I didn't need it in this situation, so it never left the holster. I didn't even think about the weapon until later I realized that my instincts and prior training (practice) (or the Spirit) led me and took over. (another time a dog attacked me and my friend and I had to fire a warning shot into the grass to turn the dog off of his charge, which it did, and later, my friend told me that he never seen anyone draw so fast. I didn't think about that either, I just did it. So it is true that in a stressful situation that one automatically reverts to the level of their training.)
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I didn't mean if you had a gun. You can fire a warning shot with your voice and body language if you get my drift. If you don't have that ability it would be a good thing to learn before escalating something that good get you and your missus flogged/killed . If the warning shot ( this isn't going to happen again mate ) doesn't stop the attacker then you have no choice of course.
 
Sandy Zalecki said:
All I have to say is that if you mess with my husband you mess with me. I'll make you wish you were never born. That goes for the rest of my family. There are a few that have found out what it is like to mess with my family and they don't do it anymore. I'm not sure how Biblical that is or what the law says, but it is how I am and I'm probably not going to change.
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I am like that with my son.You mess with my son and you mess with me.I am a mother bear.A long time ago when he was a baby I went out to get the mail and locked myself out.My son was in his crib crying.I backed up a few feet and rammed on our front door.Went right though it.Now this was a solid wood massive door.I am a little thing.Later my husband and my brother looked at each other and said "How did she do that?" :lol
 
Kathi said:
I am like that with my son.You mess with my son and you mess with me.I am a mother bear.A long time ago when he was a baby I went out to get the mail and locked myself out.My son was in his crib crying.I backed up a few feet and rammed on our front door.Went right though it.Now this was a solid wood massive door.I am a little thing.Later my husband and my brother looked at each other and said "How did she do that?" :lol
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I like mother bears.
 
The reaction has to be justified by the situation, for example, Jesus who was angered by those merchants selling in the Temple and he went and turned over the tables and destroyed much of the merchandise. Should Jesus have just walked away or protect that which was sacred. I know my husband would throw a punch back if someone hurt me as in a sense I am sacred to him as being his wife as the Temple was a sacred place of worship to Jesus. My husband would also explain to that guy why he punched him and then we would walk away from the whole thing.
 
agua. said:
I didn't mean if you had a gun. You can fire a warning shot with your voice and body language if you get my drift. If you don't have that ability it would be a good thing to learn before escalating something that good get you and your missus flogged/killed . If the warning shot ( this isn't going to happen again mate ) doesn't stop the attacker then you have no choice of course.
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Oh I see! Yes, agreed brother. I have done that many times. You can telegraph many sorts of messages with your body language, even to bigger fellows. Like they say, it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Lots of big guys can't fight well, they don't have to fight much because most are intimidated by them. If you show a willingness to jump down his throat, he may just back right down.
 
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