Question about divorce

[Classik]

There could be threads on divorce already, problem is it takes forever to find them.


Should a christian man/woman ever divorce his/her wife/husband?

If A is married to B, and A's marriage is brimestone and hell, should A ever file for a divorce?

Is divorce necessary in a case of marrital infidelity(sexual)?

And shou'd A and B continue to exist as a couple even if they are living in hell and agony?

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Should a christian man/woman ever divorce his/her wife/husband?

Only according to Biblical guidelines.

If A is married to B, and A's marriage is brimestone and hell, should A ever file for a divorce?

Only if the brimstone and hell is caused by adultery.

Is divorce necessary in a case of marrital infidelity(sexual)?

No. And that is what I wish the church would understand. It is an option, not a necessity. Although I am of the opinion few marriages should continue after an affair, because few come back for the right reasons.

And shou'd A and B continue to exist as a couple even if they are living in hell and agony?

Sadly, yes, but God can bring good out of bad for the person devoted to him.

 

[reba]

Classik i think we get into more trouble ( arguments) on the point of remarriage.

 

[Classik]

Classik i think we get into more trouble ( arguments) on the point of remarriage.

Yeah! And I do have people around me whom I can't advise enough.

We could get into more trouble (arguements) on the point of remarriage.

At the same time we seem to have failed to help.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Yeah! And I do have people around me whom I can't advise enough.

We could get into more trouble (arguements) on the point of remarriage.

At the same time we seem to have failed to help.

Which I think is so funny because God's will is so clear on the matter yet we still debate it as if we're talking about a nebulous and difficult subject like election, or OSAS.

 

[reba]

1Co 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Co 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1Co 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.


Should a spouse stay in a home that is abusive? Should we protect the children? What does God mean when He says A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases?

I dont think it is as clear as some might believe

 

[reba]

1Co 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.


I have never been able to find a way of divorce for HER. He can divorce on grounds of adultery.

About 45 years ago i searched and searched to fine a Biblical way to get out of my marriage and be "free". Free to find 'love' i am still married, i never found it...And NEVER went looking looking for "love'.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Should a spouse stay in a home that is abusive?

Is seeking refuge from a beating the same as getting a divorce? Why do we think it is?

What does God mean when He says A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases?

This is part of the guidelines for divorce. When they leave, you're free of your obligation to them.

I dont think it is as clear as some might believe

I think it is one of the easier subjects to discern in the Bible...but prolly the hardest to obey. And that's where the rub comes in.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Where we have gone wrong is in not helping young people know the full extent of the obligation they are making when they say 'I do'. For some reason young people in love and full of the God given impulses to reproduce aren't told what their responsibilities are when what they think is unthinkable and can't happen to them happens.

A brief checklist of 'would you still want to be married if/when this happens' would probably help many people make a better decision about whom they think they would want to marry.

 

[Davies]

1Co 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.


I have never been able to find a way of divorce for HER. He can divorce on grounds of adultery.

About 45 years ago i searched and searched to fine a Biblical way to get out of my marriage and be "free". Free to find 'love' i am still married, i never found it...And NEVER went looking looking for "love'.

Hi Reba,

You probably know all these verses better than I, but these verses came to mind after reading your post.

Matthew 19:8
New King James Version (NKJV)
8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

I'm thinking you made the right decision to stay in your marriage, and I think both have the same obligation, not just the woman. In the cases of abuse, I don't think a woman or the children should stay with a man. Does that mean divorce? I would suggest divorce is not the first resort. Perhaps after pastoral counseling, counseling from other godly women or men, and after time and prayer, I could see divorce happening other than for adultery. It could be I'm wrong on this, but I would never look down on someone who divorced for this reason, abuse. I think you already touched on this in 1 Corinthians 7:12-13. I'm thinking, if there is any cooperation in your marriage, it is better to remain married even in the case of infidelity.

To contrast the case of desiring to divorce other than for infidelity, I thought of Hosea.

Hosea 3:1
New King James Version (NKJV)
Hosea 3

Israel Will Return to God

1 Then the LORD said to me, “Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover[a] and is committing adultery, just like the love of the LORD for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of the pagans.â€

There is a lot to learn from Hosea 3:1.

- Davies

 

[reba]

Nicely put Davies

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Jethro

Is seeking refuge from a beating the same as getting a divorce? Why do we think it is?

I am not sure i think it is.... Why do we think it is we want what we want... or what we think we want at the time

Where we have gone wrong is in not helping young people know the full extent of the obligation they are making when they say 'I do'. For some reason young people in love and full of the God given impulses to reproduce aren't told what their responsibilities are when what they think is unthinkable and can't happen to them happens.

 

[Classik]

A brief checklist of 'would you still want to be married if/when this happens' would probably help many people make a better decision about whom they think they would want to marry.

This is lovely. My church does it: 'In sickness or in health, in affluence or in poverty....Till death do us part.

AMEN!!!

They usually chorus 'I DO', usually a booming one.

Maybe some are intoxicated - they are drunk in love, they are blind.
Then what happens after several years, or should we stop the vow thing?

What I believe is: If God has destined your marriage it must stand. No divorce. And ones you marry the wrong person you have messed up your life. Why wouldn't they file for a divorce?

 

[reba]

Mar 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
Mar 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Mat 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.


Maybe in those days divorce was kind, adultery was a death sentence.

 

[Davies]

Mar 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.

Maybe in those days divorce was kind, adultery was a death sentence.
[/COLOR]

Is Mark 10:11 saying the man who divorces his wife to marry another commits adultery against his previously married spouse? That's what it sounds like. You do know, Reba, the same double standard that existed 2000 years ago, most definitely exists today. As imperfect as it is here in America, all you have to do is look to the Middle East to see the inequality. In many places, adultery is a death sentence today.

- Davies

 

[felix]

Should a christian man/woman ever divorce his/her wife/husband?

FYI, scripture nowhere speaks about woman divorcing a man. Just because we are living in a culture where the law of the land supports does not automatically mean scripture should support it. I am happy to note down the reference in Scripture if I had missed it.

If A is married to B, and A's marriage is brimestone and hell, should A ever file for a divorce? ..... And shou'd A and B continue to exist as a couple even if they are living in hell and agony?

A's marriage is brimstone and hell not because of B but because A is not adjusting to B and had more expectations on B. If A truly considers B as his/her own flesh, then I don't think there is any 'brimstone and hell'. The 'brimestone and hell' is only for people who does not consider marriage as what the scripture says.

Is divorce necessary in a case of marrital infidelity(sexual)?

If you look into what God did, He pleads with Israel to come out of spiritual adultery again and again. Finally out of frustration, He divorces Israel. God is our best example. First, things need to be put in a discussion table to discuss the issue because most of the time it could simply be a misunderstanding and unnecessary doubting of the partner. When it is clear that the other partner is committing adultery inspite of discussing it and trying to solve it, the the case can be proceeded to divorce.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Jethro:
"Is seeking refuge from a beating the same as getting a divorce? Why do we think it is?"

Nicely put Davies

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Jethro I am not sure i think it is.... Why do we think it is we want what we want... or what we think we want at the time

Well, it's interesting how when it comes to divorce, we don't seem to be too interested in erring on the side of caution in the interest of righteousness.

I don't want you to think I'm speaking on this subject from the crow's nest of an ivory tower. I'm speaking from the trenches filled with all the temptations and struggles and shrapnel wounds of marriage.

 

[reba]

Agreed Jethro... Some one always gets hurt deep hurts from divorce....It is very hard to live a one sided life.... the mix is painful.

I believe the church falls short in its teaching.... I have different thoughts about folks who are not in the Lord divorce/remarry then meet the Master...

 

[Jethro Bodine]

Maybe some are intoxicated - they are drunk in love, they are blind.
Then what happens after several years, or should we stop the vow thing?

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

2 He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous,
who keeps his oath even when it hurts...

(Psalm 15:1-2 NIV1984)

What I believe is: If God has destined your marriage it must stand. No divorce. And ones you marry the wrong person you have messed up your life. Why wouldn't they file for a divorce?

For starters I don't think it is only the people in marriages that God has purposely ordained that must commit to the vow made in that marriage.

I believe God made us free to choose who we want to marry (in the Lord, of course, for believers), if at all even. And a vow is a vow regardless of who God really intended for you to marry, if he really had someone else in mind.

I honestly think a big mistake people make when marriage goes bad is thinking there was some special marriage partner out there that God had in mind that they somehow missed and instead got stuck in a bad marriage that wasn't his will, therefore God would certainly make an allowance for leaving that marriage. That is a very, very dangerous and destructive mindset to have.

You can't possibly hope to realize God's blessing in a marriage where one's heart has a divided interest like that. You might be able to limp through if you keep your mouth shut and don't make trouble, but you will never realize God's best for getting along with a marriage partner when you have a divided heart and are continually entertaining thoughts of another person, even if that other person is really only an ideal.

 

[Classik]

How do we consider the case of incompatibility?
- God destines that A should marry B, and C should marry D. Definitely, any occurence of A D and C B is going contrarlily to the will of God. Danger!!! It is usually an unpleasant result when we go contrary to the will of God for our lives. We keep making a mess of our destinies, at times.

And if ABCD realise their mistakes, should we encourage a AB CD remarrying.

Most homes fail today as a result of this problem.

 

[Classik]

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

2 He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous,
who keeps his oath even when it hurts...

(Psalm 15:1-2 NIV1984)



For starters I don't think it is only the people in marriages that God has purposely ordained that must commit to the vow made in that marriage.

I believe God made us free to choose who we want to marry (in the Lord, of course, for believers), if at all even. And a vow is a vow regardless of who God really intended for you to marry, if he really had someone else in mind.

I honestly think a big mistake people make when marriage goes bad is thinking there was some special marriage partner out there that God had in mind that they somehow missed and instead got stuck in a bad marriage that wasn't his will, therefore God would certainly make an allowance for leaving that marriage. That is a very, very dangerous and destructive mindset to have.

You can't possibly hope to realize God's blessing in a marriage where one's heart has a divided interest like that. You might be able to limp through if you keep your mouth shut and don't make trouble, but you will never realize God's best for getting along with a marriage partner when you have a divided heart and are continually entertaining thoughts of another person, even if that other person is really only an ideal.

I was still typing when this post came. See #19

I believe there is such a situation as #19 (some marriages are completely incompatible, honestly)