I have had the worst life in the world. I know that sounds dramatic but it is the only way that I can describe my life life I look back over it. I have been abused in almost every way, shape and form possible. I have been betrayed and hurt by so many people. I have had to deal with so much bullying and emotional abuse. I am currently homeless. I have no home. I have not had a home since 2017 when my parents and I lost our home. I have struggled with eating disorders. I have struggled with self harm and suicidal tendencies. I have been involved in witchcraft, the occult and the new age. This has only added to my problems. Because of my time being involved in those things I have been severely attacked spiritually and those attacks have manifested in many frightening physical ways as well. I am struggling to put my life back together spiritually. I don't have a church home but I am trying to stay close to Jesus. I read my Bible every single day. I pray whenever I can. I try and stay away from anything that might cause me to stray away from Jesus and still nothing seems to get better. I am so tired of struggling. I am so hopeless. I have asked so many people to pray for me that I now feel like a bother. I am being tormented by intrusive thoughts that I know come from no one but the devil himself. I am struggling to keep my faith. I have always struggled with believing that God loves me because of how horrible my life has been at times. During moments like this, I have to wonder if He truly cares about me. I am so despondent. I am hopeless. I am supposed to be enjoying this part of my life. I am trying to go to seminary school. But everything in my life has fallen apart and I am constantly being bombarded by attacks mentally, spiritually and emotionally. I don't know what else I can do. I am so tired. I am exhausted. I feel like I cannot take another moment of living my life like this. Please pray for me.
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[__ Prayer __] Really Need Hope
- Thread starter al988
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Sounds like you have had a harder time than I can even imagine. Just hope you can escape what sounds like a vicious cycle.
If we hang on to hope and maintain some daily discipline, life can improve. Turn that bad luck into good luck if you can. We are all praying you can find a better deal sooner rather than later.
God Bless.
Tessa
Member
al988 wcome to the forum.
You ate not a bother and I am so glad you have come to the forum.
Don"t lose hope. You have had terrible times in your life but God has a plan for you. He can pull you out of all things. Cruel out to Him lour your heart out.
Cling on to Jesus and believe Ho will help you.
Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to be be led away from the misery. Jesus loves you
Trust The Lord.
Would it help you if you walked into a church and talk to a pastor?
Stay with us here. I'm praying for you.
Degas
Member
Hey,
God's Love doesn't lie in the events of your life. It is something you feel, like one feels the warmth of the sun on their skin on a beautiful day whether they are healthy or sick, rich or poor, etc.
Someone may have a very tough life and still feel loved whereas millions of people have a life you would consider pretty decent and yet they have never felt God's Love.
I don't pray as I read because I like to be focused when I pray but I will definitely pray for you.
God's Love doesn't lie in the events of your life. It is something you feel, like one feels the warmth of the sun on their skin on a beautiful day whether they are healthy or sick, rich or poor, etc.
Someone may have a very tough life and still feel loved whereas millions of people have a life you would consider pretty decent and yet they have never felt God's Love.
I don't pray as I read because I like to be focused when I pray but I will definitely pray for you.
You are not a bother. People will only pray for you if they feel like it so you don't owe them anything. Now, if you feel you do, I suggest you pray for other people.
Truthfrees
Member
praying
Christ_empowered
Member
praying, most definitely. please keep us all posted, as you are able. 
Luminous_Rose
CF Ambassador
I'm sorry to hear that life has been so difficult 
and it seems that sometimes there are people out there that have had a rough life. Things can always go wrong and for some it seems to happen more from others.
I have had a fair share of my struggles and probably man have here, too. My struggles are different from yours, but still struggles.
I am glad that you are keeping up with your Bible reads and prayer, that's important. Sometimes you also never know when God will do something miraculous in your life. A lot of times when I've had struggles, for the prayers God has answered, I have learned that the answer he gives us isn't always an instant, "Here you go!" Sometimes it is a long, painful process that you will get to, but takes time. Not all answers are instant.
It's okay to be exhausted from struggling. It really does wear on your mind after a point. It's normal for abuse victims to question God's existence. My husband grew up in an abusive household and his parents proclaimed themselves as Christian missionaries. They lived in another country outside of the USA for many years. Most people at churches thought his parents were amazing people. For the churches that cut his parents off and suspected something darker, they didn't stay long and moved. He grew up into adulthood with his folks and the abuse is real - he has suffered greatly and never got help out of that home until he was old enough to leave. Still, they managed to manipulate in many ways. He struggled with the idea of believing in God because if his parents were Christian - that's not who he wanted to be. After a point he realized that with their attitude, they couldn't possibly be true believers in God with the way they treated him. He strayed for a while, but came back to God.
The best thing is to take it a step at a time (hopefully you are away from the abuse now). I hope that you are able to find help - places to sleep at night, food, etc.
Write down some goals - even if they seem crazy. Write down some big goals and some smaller goals. Keep pressing forward, but also take time to rest. Take time to initiate some type of self-care for yourself. Look into organizations that can help you get through this rough patch in life. You are not alone in this, don't think you are - many people have such issues and feel stuck.
Will be praying for you
and it seems that sometimes there are people out there that have had a rough life. Things can always go wrong and for some it seems to happen more from others. I have had a fair share of my struggles and probably man have here, too. My struggles are different from yours, but still struggles.
I am glad that you are keeping up with your Bible reads and prayer, that's important. Sometimes you also never know when God will do something miraculous in your life. A lot of times when I've had struggles, for the prayers God has answered, I have learned that the answer he gives us isn't always an instant, "Here you go!" Sometimes it is a long, painful process that you will get to, but takes time. Not all answers are instant.
It's okay to be exhausted from struggling. It really does wear on your mind after a point. It's normal for abuse victims to question God's existence. My husband grew up in an abusive household and his parents proclaimed themselves as Christian missionaries. They lived in another country outside of the USA for many years. Most people at churches thought his parents were amazing people. For the churches that cut his parents off and suspected something darker, they didn't stay long and moved. He grew up into adulthood with his folks and the abuse is real - he has suffered greatly and never got help out of that home until he was old enough to leave. Still, they managed to manipulate in many ways. He struggled with the idea of believing in God because if his parents were Christian - that's not who he wanted to be. After a point he realized that with their attitude, they couldn't possibly be true believers in God with the way they treated him. He strayed for a while, but came back to God.
The best thing is to take it a step at a time (hopefully you are away from the abuse now). I hope that you are able to find help - places to sleep at night, food, etc.
Write down some goals - even if they seem crazy. Write down some big goals and some smaller goals. Keep pressing forward, but also take time to rest. Take time to initiate some type of self-care for yourself. Look into organizations that can help you get through this rough patch in life. You are not alone in this, don't think you are - many people have such issues and feel stuck.
Will be praying for you
Marianne333
Member
praying for you.