Christ_empowered
Member
I'm 31 and I live with my parents. Not ideal, but I have severe mental problems. I tried living in an apartment my parents bought, but..here's the thing: when you're mentally ill, at least around here, its not just your actual "symptoms" that bring on rejection and problems, its the stigma attached to being labeled (schizophrenic, bipolar, etc.). Its the fact that the neighbors in this working class neighborhood worked, and I was just chillin out, doing whatever..."crazy" people make people angry, especially when we live reasonably comfortably. Its rough. Also, its The South, so I'm considered an "uppity mental patient" because I "don't know my place." Apparently, I'm supposed to be dead eyed and living in abject poverty, getting Haldol injections every month or so.
Anyway, I wrote all that to make this point: its rough being mentally ill in America. I mean, I think its rough anywhere, but...the economy isn't good here, the long term hopsitals are mostly closed, the group homes are mostly run by for-profit companies and often aren't clean or safe, and the emphasis on meds-meds-meds means that if you have any problems, you just need more (seroquel, thorazine, haldol, etc.). I'm blessed because my people take good care of me and they're sort of like successful hippies, so they let me live here and recover and go to school online (I get grants and such) and generally do as I please. I even have a decent car.
Now, here's the thing...I think there's some tension between me and my mama. She's a good woman, but...I dunno...I get the sense that she doesn't really get that its hard to make a go of things when you've a) been out of commission during what could have/should have/would have been productive years and b) the community more or less despises me. She doesn't even like to hear about B. When I tell her how some people harass me and such, she tells me to take my meds...or she'll call me a self-centered brat (they have much more important things to worry about than you, etc. etc. etc.). I dunno...
Just please pray that my parents and I can maintain and also build a good relationship. I don't sense any obvious tension, but...hey, I'm waking up from 10 years of crazy. There's a lot I don't get, you know?
I'm worried because she was upstairs last night (she and my dad have their "zone" upstairs and I live in a bedroom downstairs) and I heard her cursing and being loud. I mean, she drinks a lot, so it could be a lot of things, but...I suspect its related to me, somehow. Maybe its just flash backs to when I was younger...she'd booze it up and get in my face...so maybe I'm being unreasonable...
At any rate, please pray. If I moved out, it would cost my parents $$$ (my dad offered to rent me an apt. a couple years ago..decent place, but I didn't want to live alone after what I'd been through) and I'd be even more socially isolated than I am now. Right now, they're renting out the lil house and lil apt. they bought earlier, so I can't up and move into one of those.
Anyway, I wrote all that to make this point: its rough being mentally ill in America. I mean, I think its rough anywhere, but...the economy isn't good here, the long term hopsitals are mostly closed, the group homes are mostly run by for-profit companies and often aren't clean or safe, and the emphasis on meds-meds-meds means that if you have any problems, you just need more (seroquel, thorazine, haldol, etc.). I'm blessed because my people take good care of me and they're sort of like successful hippies, so they let me live here and recover and go to school online (I get grants and such) and generally do as I please. I even have a decent car.
Now, here's the thing...I think there's some tension between me and my mama. She's a good woman, but...I dunno...I get the sense that she doesn't really get that its hard to make a go of things when you've a) been out of commission during what could have/should have/would have been productive years and b) the community more or less despises me. She doesn't even like to hear about B. When I tell her how some people harass me and such, she tells me to take my meds...or she'll call me a self-centered brat (they have much more important things to worry about than you, etc. etc. etc.). I dunno...
Just please pray that my parents and I can maintain and also build a good relationship. I don't sense any obvious tension, but...hey, I'm waking up from 10 years of crazy. There's a lot I don't get, you know?
I'm worried because she was upstairs last night (she and my dad have their "zone" upstairs and I live in a bedroom downstairs) and I heard her cursing and being loud. I mean, she drinks a lot, so it could be a lot of things, but...I suspect its related to me, somehow. Maybe its just flash backs to when I was younger...she'd booze it up and get in my face...so maybe I'm being unreasonable...
At any rate, please pray. If I moved out, it would cost my parents $$$ (my dad offered to rent me an apt. a couple years ago..decent place, but I didn't want to live alone after what I'd been through) and I'd be even more socially isolated than I am now. Right now, they're renting out the lil house and lil apt. they bought earlier, so I can't up and move into one of those.
