[__ Prayer __] Running out of time and dont know how to give myself to God

[BIGFOOT]

The game is nearly up for me. I won't call myself a Christian because I have no sense that I have givin myself up to God. I'm suffering from an atypical auto-immune illness that is bringing me towards an some would say early end. Ive done all of the sinners prayer stuff but Ive never really been sure how salvation is really achieved Some have told me that its not of works and its a gift but then turn right around and say you have to surrender your will to God. I cannot imagine a harder task for a human to surrender his own will In fact Im not sure I have ever met such a person. One thing thats seems clear to me, surrendering your will would take enormous amounts of effort and work on your part . So its not a free gift because it takes giving up something that is extremely hard to do. Infact, its a huge price.

So there, Im confused and dying. Full of pain, drugs (meds) depression and emptyness and sadness for a wasted life. I think the HELL HOUNDS are on my trail

BF

 

[Mike]

I'm very sorry to hear about your physical condition. As for the "sinner's prayer", I'm afraid you're realizing first hand that this is insufficient to have any true meaning in and of itself. I can understand why you feel it's "work" to put your hope in Christ, but you have to be careful about coming to believe it's anything you do. One thing seems very clear. You are being Called by the only One who can see you through this.

The elements of the sinners prayer are important. You do need to know you are a sinner and that you are in need of a Savior, but you don't then pause to feel "saved". He will be there for you, but you have to permit Him to do His work in you. That may seem like it costs you something, but when you have nothing to give Him and everything to ask of Him, He's the one who already paid the price. He did the "work". Jesus Sacrificed Himself for all who would and will let go, and I have already prayed that this is something you are willing to relieve yourself of.

Again, I'm very sorry for your condition, but I know He will be faithful to His Promise.

 

[Davies]

BIGFOOT,

I'm sad to hear the news of your serious illness. I'm happy you are concerned for your salvation though. I hope you understand this is a work of the Holy Spirit. If you didn't care at all, and never posted your thoughts to CFnet, then I would be more concerned for you. Without knowing your personal details, I would suggest focusing on the Gospel. Read the Bible to know who God is. Trust like a little child. Examine yourself by the Ten Commandments, know that what they reveal is how God sees you in truth. This way, you can recognize your need for salvation, and you will value the cross and what Jesus did for you when He suffered and died to pay for your sins. This is exactly what happened to the thief on the cross.

Luke 23:39-43
New King James Version (NKJV)
39 Then one of the criminals who were hanged blasphemed Him, saying, “If You are the Christ,[a] save Yourself and us.â€
40 But the other, answering, rebuked him, saying, “Do you not even fear God, seeing you are under the same condemnation? 41 And we indeed justly, for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this Man has done nothing wrong.†42 Then he said to Jesus, “Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.â€
43 And Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.â€

When you feel justly condemned for the deeds you have done just as the thief was, the Ten Commandments do this the best, then throw yourself on the mercy of God. He promises to forgive, and to save. Jesus' death on the cross is proof to you that He loves you and cares.

There was a desperate man in the Bible who recognized his lack of faith, and this is what he said:

Mark 9:24
New King James Version (NKJV)
24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!â€

It's good to acknowledge your unbelief, or sin if you will, but you must trust in the Creator to forgive you (repentance), and again, the proof is in the pudding - the death of the Son of God on the cross. No one can deny it with rationality.

I'll pray for you BIGFOOT. Nothing would make me happier then if you were to go home before me, that you would meet me when I come home to Heaven. Salvation is a free gift, and the work you have to do is to believe.

John 6:28-29
New King James Version (NKJV)
28 Then they said to Him, “What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?â€
29 Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent.â€

- Davies

 

[BIGFOOT]

I am indeed very aware of the sinful nature of our species. I see it in myself and everyone I know. I have some real nagging questions about God.

Its very difficult to approach these matters honestly without Christians getting offended and trust me, this isn't for the sake of debate or trying to lure someone into losing faith. I have what I think are valid questions that can't seem to be answered. Im not sure this is the correct forum though. Im not here to offend anyone.

I wish I was like you all and loved God. I am also honest enough to admit that I very much hate him. Lots of people say they love him but hate him. I don't hate Christians though because I think they do way more good in the world and get a bad rap by non Christians. But not all. I do believe in mercy, forgiveness, charity and loving kindness. Infact, I cant find a thing wrong with the atributes that Christ defined as Godly or good. I embrace those things as far as a goal because I see the damage that sin does.

Its God himself that I have a problem with. I admit hes God an all powerful. I know that I am completely defenseless against him.

But I'd bet if you knew why I hate him you would understand and also would not be able to answer my nagging question about him.

I dunno I thought at times I could try to make peace with him but I can promise you he doesn't neccesserily love everyone nor does he alway provide the type of nurturing that causes love to happen.

There is a question that makes alot of sense and is very valid but Christians avoid it because they are terrified of Gods wrath and hell. Still fear doesn't negate the truth and validity of the question.

So I sit here dying and terrified of my eternal fate but I'm not going to lie and say I love him or trust him. Heck, hes God and he'd see right through it anyway,

Its all crazy because I know Im am evil but I wish I wasn't. But I am finding easier to be honest. I really don't know how to stop hating God much less trust him

I'm not a fan of Satan either by the way. I hate him as well.

So heres my prayer request. Pray that I will meet someone who can answer my real questions before I die.

I would like peace........

 

[Davies]

BIGFOOT,

I would reiterate because you are concerned about your attitude towards God and your sins, that the Holy Spirit has been working with you. The answer to your most significant problem, sin, is the Gospel. Now, if you know you are a sinner and the penalty for your sin is eternity in the lake of fire (regardless if you think it's fair or not), then why wouldn't you receive the gift of pardon? If you don't trust that Jesus (God) died on the cross to pay for you sin, and then rose again from the dead to prove His sacrifice was accepted by the Father, then what you are saying indirectly is God is a liar. Please understand I'm not making accusations here, and I'm not offended, but if I were to tell you my name and you turned to me you and said, 'That's not your name,' then you would be calling me a liar.

Jesus told a story in Luke 16 about the Rich man and Lazarus and they were separated by a gulf. The rich man was in Hades, the poor man was with Father Abraham on the other side. It's interesting to hear what the rich man asks Abraham and Abraham's response.

Luke 16:27-31
New King James Version (NKJV)
27 “Then he said, ‘I beg you therefore, father, that you would send him to my father’s house, 28 for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment.’ 29 Abraham said to him, ‘They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.’ 30 And he said, ‘No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ 31 But he said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead.’â€

If you listen to Moses, the law, you will recognize your need for salvation. Then if you listen to the prophets, you will learn the way of salvation, because prophecy is all about Jesus. If you don't listen to them, you will never find your answer.

- Davies

 

[Drummer4Christ]

@ Bigfoot

What is it that causes you to "hate" God? What is the question you feel has not been answered?

 

[reba]

So heres my prayer request. Pray that I will meet someone who can answer my real questions before I die.

I would like peace........

Bigfoot i know this will sound corny but let me introduce you to the Man of peace Jesus Christ. In Him are the answers you seek. No you cant achieve salvation. Jesus paid the price for your sin and the price for the sin done unto you.

Joh 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.
Joh 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

 

[lklgr]

I am indeed very aware of the sinful nature of our species. I see it in myself and everyone I know. I have some real nagging questions about God.

Its very difficult to approach these matters honestly without Christians getting offended and trust me, this isn't for the sake of debate or trying to lure someone into losing faith. I have what I think are valid questions that can't seem to be answered. Im not sure this is the correct forum though. Im not here to offend anyone.

I wish I was like you all and loved God. I am also honest enough to admit that I very much hate him. Lots of people say they love him but hate him. I don't hate Christians though because I think they do way more good in the world and get a bad rap by non Christians. But not all. I do believe in mercy, forgiveness, charity and loving kindness. Infact, I cant find a thing wrong with the atributes that Christ defined as Godly or good. I embrace those things as far as a goal because I see the damage that sin does.

Its God himself that I have a problem with. I admit hes God an all powerful. I know that I am completely defenseless against him.

But I'd bet if you knew why I hate him you would understand and also would not be able to answer my nagging question about him.

I dunno I thought at times I could try to make peace with him but I can promise you he doesn't neccesserily love everyone nor does he alway provide the type of nurturing that causes love to happen.

There is a question that makes alot of sense and is very valid but Christians avoid it because they are terrified of Gods wrath and hell. Still fear doesn't negate the truth and validity of the question.

So I sit here dying and terrified of my eternal fate but I'm not going to lie and say I love him or trust him. Heck, hes God and he'd see right through it anyway,

Its all crazy because I know Im am evil but I wish I wasn't. But I am finding easier to be honest. I really don't know how to stop hating God much less trust him

I'm not a fan of Satan either by the way. I hate him as well.

So heres my prayer request. Pray that I will meet someone who can answer my real questions before I die.

I would like peace........

Hello BF,
I imagine facing one's mortality without some faith in God must be terrifying. I have a morbid fear of death myself and am really glad that God is there to cling to in the dark and uncertain moments. Just because someone is saved, it does not mean they don't suffer moments of fear and doubt. The thing is, it doesn't matter how big or little our sins have been, or whether we were "evil" or not; what matters is whether we accept God's gift of salvation or not. There is nothing anyone has whether it be free will, or good will (intentions), or anything our imagination can cook up to barter for salvation...we cannot pay for it...it is a gift of grace. Either you accept the gift and say thank you, or you don't. There are no strings. You have nothing to trade. It is by grace alone that we are saved. The changes in a person's heart come afterward; and I can tell you honestly one's heart really does change. We are no longer inclined to willfully, boastfully and outright do evil things, like stealing, adultery, bearing false witness etc. because it makes our relationship with God more difficult. Contrary to popular belief of those who don't know squat about God, we don't become holy puppets of God who suddenly can only do God's work. On the contrary, we have life struggles just as before we met God, although, we look at troubles and sinning in a different light; that is where the free will comes in as far as living as a Christian; to sin or not to sin. I have seen and heard so many people walk away from salvation with sad hearts because they felt God demanded the sacrifice and payment of "free will". Handing over one's free will only means that we who have accepted God's gift of salvation, at least try to avoid the things we know or sense are wrong things to do and we simply try to live a better life because the Holy Spirit who now dwells inside us is constantly teaching and guideing. Instead of using our "free will" to defy God, we approach God "freely and willingly" with an open heart and ask for his love, guidance, care. Why is it that people can willingly give up their hearts to other people (i.e. significant other), but balk at a relationship with God? I say, try accepting the gift of grace first and let God worry about teaching you the rest of it Bigfoot. God is bigger than anything. God is certainly bigger than anything you have done or thought, so don't use such lame excuses like "my free will...blah, blah blah..." I am not trying to be insulting, but look at where your free will has brought you to thus far, fearful and searching for the face of God. As mentioned in here by other members of this string, God is obviously trying to get your attention, so pay attention and get back to the business of seeking God with a genuinly open and trusting heart. He is definitely trustworthy! He is obviously calling on you. Embrace the grace brother and then be prepared to be amazed. Salvation...the gift that keeps on giving! Then instead of saying I am too evil or too much of a sinner to be saved, you'll be asking...what took me so long???