Should the Bible give clearer instructions on how to find a spouse?

[Boaz]

The boy, of course!

The girl might be gullible and might make a mistake,,,,
but why should the boy take advantage of her?

When I was growing up...the girl was always blamed for anything that happened. I agree that she is the one to suffer the consequences and thus should be smart with her life....but men have to take part in the responsibility too.

I kind of got that vibe still going on from the original post (the one we are talking about.) And why is the girl considered gullible when the guy is really good with his lies? Girls as they are growing up should be taught to be strong, independent and set goals. Some how. And if all of society would stop setting the highest aim as "not being lone." It would help. Sorry. Off topic.

 

[GodsGrace]

I kind of got that vibe still going on from the original post (the one we are talking about.) And why is the girl considered gullible when the guy is really good with his lies? Girls as they are growing up should be taught to be strong, independent and set goals. Some how. And if all of society would stop setting the highest aim as "not being lone." It would help. Sorry. Off topic.

Agreed.
No,,,this fits into the thread.
The question is why the bible doesn't give more specific instructions on how to find a spouse.

It was unheard of when I was 18 that two persons would live together sans marriage. Today it not only is accepted, some of my friends tell their kids it should be done !

It has been studied and found that couples that live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced. Can't remember the statistics, but it's probably online.

Why do you think this is so?
I think there are specific reasons.

 

[Boaz]

Agreed.
No,,,this fits into the thread.
The question is why the bible doesn't give more specific instructions on how to find a spouse.

It was unheard of when I was 18 that two persons would live together sans marriage. Today it not only is accepted, some of my friends tell their kids it should be done !

It has been studied and found that couples that live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced. Can't remember the statistics, but it's probably online.

Why do you think this is so?
I think there are specific reasons.

Probably mainly a lot of damage is done during the live in situation that comes back to bite them. We know from the Bible that it is contrary to God's design for the family and since He is perfect there is bound to be damage. The couple's who decide to have trial live togethers are doing it for all the wrong reasons with no knowledge appreciation or respect for the institute marriage..
I am looking forward to your thoughts.

 

[GodsGrace]

Probably mainly a lot of damage is done during the live in situation that comes back to bite them. We know from the Bible that it is contrary to God's design for the family and since He is perfect there is bound to be damage. The couple's who decide to have trial live togethers are doing it for all the wrong reasons with no knowledge appreciation or respect for the institute marriage..
I am looking forward to your thoughts.

Agreed.
But there's so much more....

What about the idea that by the time they get married all the excitement is gone out of the relationship...thus not making marriage something to look forward to for all the right reasons. Sharing everything, for one: Problems, shopping, making big decisions, creating a home, doctor's visits, etc. Not to mention sleeping together in the same bed every night! Cuddle, cuddle.

How about the idea that, as you touched on, persons that are willing to live together have a lower standard for both morality and marriage. Marriage apparently means very little to them if they can "play house" before getting married.

And the last reason I can think of is that a trial period doesn't WORK. Are they able to do a trial run on EVERYTHING that can happen in life? No. I don't think so. Who knows what life will bring...happiness, pain.

It seems there's some misunderstanding as to what forever means...It means going through life together, no matter what.
This is a commitment more than anything else.

When it's understood as a commitment, more effort will be made to keep the marriage happy for both parties, knowing that "forever" is a long time.

This cannot happen in a trial situation.

There must be other reasons, I like your explanation of how it's of God. Maybe society doesn't know God anymore....

 

[Who Me]

So guys take advantage of gullible girls?

In my opinion sometimes it is the case.

 

[GodsGrace]

In my opinion sometimes it is the case.

Hey Who Me...
This happens in London too?
UFFA.
Whatsa matta with guys?

I think this happens in Italy too.
It might be a world-wide phenomena!

 

[Who Me]

Hey Who Me...
This happens in London too?
UFFA.
Whatsa matta with guys?

I think this happens in Italy too.
It might be a world-wide phenomena!

Guys are sex lead, offer them sex they will take it.
Girls while they enjoy sex are more child/baby lead and have been lied to by society/media, to think if they offer sex a guy will marry them, at some point.

The truth is guys are more likely to marry them if sex is denied.

 

[GodsGrace]

Guys are sex lead, offer them sex they will take it.
Girls while they enjoy sex are more child/baby lead and have been lied to by society/media, to think if they offer sex a guy will marry them, at some point.

The truth is guys are more likely to marry them if sex is denied.

I was kidding around on the other post, of course.
But, seriously, I couldn't agree with you more!
A survey was done and it was found that couples that "try" living together before marriage are more likely to get divorced.

And, yes, I believe women have been lied to on many fronts.
One would be that working is more satisfying than raising a family.
So now they have to work AND raise a family since men are not set up for this ... although there is always the exception and some can raise a family better than the wife.

The devil is a liar, and his lies are ruining our society.

 

[Prycejosh1987]

What are your thoughts on the matter? 2

I would say there is no need, we are equipped with common sense. The bible is clear enough to the topic, Relationships are made for marriage. The bible is clear on that. It says that a christian should not be with an unbeliever, do not commit adultery. Etc.

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

if someone is not able to sustain a marriage then it would probably be better if they stayed single

What if they don't have the gift of celibacy, which the apostle Paul speaks of?

 

[Hopeful]

What if they don't have the gift of celibacy, which the apostle Paul speaks of?

Celibacy isn't a gift, it is a choice.
We are all celibate until we are not.
We all start off celibate, but some give in to the flesh and others don't.
Walk in the Spirit and you won't fulfill the lusts of the flesh.

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

Celibacy isn't a gift, it is a choice.
We are all celibate until we are not.
We all start off celibate, but some give in to the flesh and others don't.
Walk in the Spirit and you won't fulfill the lusts of the flesh.

Lifelong celibacy is not for everyone. Even Jesus said that.

Does the Bible say anything about a gift of celibacy?

Does the Bible say anything about a gift of celibacy? Is there such a thing as a gift of celibacy or a gift of singleness?

www.compellingtruth.org

 

[for_his_glory]

What if they don't have the gift of celibacy, which the apostle Paul speaks of?

Celibacy is not a gift from God, but a choice we make. The principles for marriage are found in 1 Corinthians 7:1-16 and if one can not stay celibate then it is better to marry then to burn in hell, which means going from one bed to another for sexual pleasure.

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

The principles for marriage are found in 1 Corinthians 7:1-16 and if one can not stay celibate then it is better to marry then to burn in hell, which means going from one bed to another for sexual pleasure.

 

[for_his_glory]

That is a very instruction video and thank you for sharing this. The whole thing is to learn how to control our passions outside of marriage that we stay pure until God brings that right one into our life that we are equally yoked to. I liked of what he said about controlled burn or uncontrolled burn as passions are a part of us, but uncontrolled passion can bring with it consequences.

 

[Prycejosh1987]

Lately, I've been thinking that it would be quite helpful for some of us if the Bible addressed the topic of finding a spouse in more detail. When it comes to romantic relationships between men and women, the commandments given in the Bible are many, but are there enough instructions about how to obey them?

I think the bible says everything that has been needed to be said. The only thing is regarding sex, is giving oral sex to the spouse okay in Gods eyes, what about using dildos. TMI i know but its a thought. The song of Solomon does discuss sex in symbolism. Its hard to decode what Solomon says personally speaking. Proverbs not so bad, the best thing we can do is make educated guesses and ask our leaders for advice, it also makes them accountable in a small way, and its a burden off shoulders if the pastor/priest agrees with the suggestion.

 

[de777]

You can do everything right and be too ugly to be considered as a possible spouse by men who are visually driven. At least this is my situation. The majority of my friends are married, their children are getting married, my friends will soon be grandparents. I moved in the same circles but was continually overlooked for my prettier friends, I understand it I am not physically beautiful except to God and at this stage in my life I'm too old and set in my ways perhaps for this to change. People like to say men look for character... they dont.

So the reality is if you are in this situation like I am Celibacy is not a choice that we make but has been made for us because we are not attractive so you need to somehow find a way to really control your thoughts because you will burn with desire but you will have no outlet for the normal desires that someone who is married has an outlet for. And the Bible was written when arranged marriage was the way to then get married. A lot of us do not have arranged marriage as an option in our cultures so we just have to suffer in silence.

This is something those who are married do not understand about longterm Christian singles. A struggle for purity in thought and action is difficult as a longterm single.

 

[Anaphora]

Proverbs 3110. Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. HAYIL in Hebrew means =strong in all moral qualities. I'm not judging anyone. But in this generation. I wouldn't walk across the street with most people. Many people are on the wrong path. Thier was girl, 1990s, old job. Created a toxic environment. Bad seed. She sold herself to get material gains. Tried many times to get me fired. This is of satan. Hatred is of the devil. Its demonic. 31:12. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. CHANAK in Hebrew means = discipline, train up. The parents are to blame. If children are not weaned from early age, taught Gods laws and provisions. Take a look, and see, punks, sluts, stealing, druggies, drunkards, habitual liars, homosexuality, abortion, ect. See the moral degeneration and implications. 31:28. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excelled them all. Lying, cheating, and gossip is trade mark of the world. Integrity and virtue in this generation is obsolete. Dating is off the table for me. I'm focused on producing fruit for Jesus. Who loved me first ? Jesus did. He created me and all people for His pleasure. How much pleasure does Children of this world give God. Again, I'm not judging people. I'm brutally honest person.

 

[Riven]

You can do everything right and be too ugly to be considered as a possible spouse by men who are visually driven. At least this is my situation. The majority of my friends are married, their children are getting married, my friends will soon be grandparents. I moved in the same circles but was continually overlooked for my prettier friends, I understand it I am not physically beautiful except to God and at this stage in my life I'm too old and set in my ways perhaps for this to change. People like to say men look for character... they dont.

So the reality is if you are in this situation like I am Celibacy is not a choice that we make but has been made for us because we are not attractive so you need to somehow find a way to really control your thoughts because you will burn with desire but you will have no outlet for the normal desires that someone who is married has an outlet for. And the Bible was written when arranged marriage was the way to then get married. A lot of us do not have arranged marriage as an option in our cultures so we just have to suffer in silence.

This is something those who are married do not understand about longterm Christian singles. A struggle for purity in thought and action is difficult as a longterm single.

That's terrible. As a man, I understand what you're saying. Yes, we do want a beautiful woman. But beauty is only skin deep. If she is miserable, crazy, or cheats on a guy, the looks don't matter as much. And you have to be able to click with someone for it to work long term.

 

[Augustine]

Have you considered 1 Corinthians 7?

The Bible's views on marriage are pretty clear...