handy
Member
I read a lot of things like advice columns, blogs, on-line newspapers etc...
And, I have come to realize that there are indeed sins that the world does recognize.
Not sins such as blasphemy, fornication, homosexuality etc... but nonetheless these sins are considered every bit as shameful and worthy of a Hester Pryne type scarlet letter.
One such sin is "snooping"...reading another's email, text messages, or even Facebook account.
My daughter never uses her email account...I doubt if anyone even remembers the password on it anymore. But, she does have Facebook and she does have a phone. With the full understanding that either her father or I can go onto her FB or her phone at anytime and read anything that she has posted.
Yep...I'm a snooper. I call it good parenting. She's only 14 and waaayyyy to young to be let loose on the world with no supervision and the Internet IS THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
So far, she has done well. I've yet to come across any inappropriate texts of hers and only a couple inappropriate texts coming to her from friends that she handled OK. The one thing we busted her for with the phone is when I checked her texting history I found she was texting in several classes...one of which she is getting a very low grade in. She lost the phone for two weeks for that. I wouldn't have known she was doing it without "snooping".
She has also made the mistake of putting a few negative comments on Facebook that I've deleted and have helped her understand to never, ever put negative things on-line...because no matter how "true" you might believe the statement to be at the time...it's out there readily retrieved at any moment and can come back to haunt you. She has also "liked" something she sees from various things and then has inappropriate content show up on her wall, so every now and then I do some housecleaning and "unlike" these things.
Mainly, I keep a close eye on her friends list. I check out the friends walls, photos, information...everything that they have available for friends to see. It's a way for me to get to "know" the kids that she has contact with. If someone looks really bad on FB and becomes a close friend in life...I talk with her about it.
Again...I just think this is good parenting. I'll do the same thing when my son gets his first FB account...about 8 months from now.
I'm am truly surprised and wholly un-understanding why so many people believe that this type of snooping is a violation of her basic human dignity. For one thing...isn't Facebook a public thing? I mean, isn't anything that any posts on it posted in public? Why is it considered "snooping" to read what someone has written on a public forum? Anything that is sent electronically...anything texts, emails, forum posts, etc. should be considered public information...and the faster my kids learn that important fact the better. My daughter has already learned that, unless it's something she would say in front of her dad and I...not to mention her pastor since he's a fb friend of hers as well...she'd better not put it on FB, or text it, etc.
As far as between my husband and I...we have no "private" things that we keep from each other. We share an email account. I have a separate one, but only for work purposes. I could care less if he reads my texts...most of them are to either him or my daughter anyway.
I don't believe in complete privacy for children...I find that to be crazy in today's world. When my daughter wants privacy between her and a friend...they can talk face to face (no internet involved) in either her room (if a girl) or on the patio (if a boy, so we can see, but not hear).
So, am I the one who is crazy? Am I a bad person for being a snoop? Not asking because I'll stop (I'm not going to)...just wondering how others view this subject.
Does anyone here have private email accounts that they keep "hidden" from their spouse and would feel justifiably angry if s/he ever looked at it...or does anyone allow their children to have private texts and social networking accounts that you would never ever check, because it would be snooping?
btw...once my kids turn 18, I'll never look again...that's when they can have privacy from me and their dad. As of now the only privacy they get is when in the bathroom.
And, I have come to realize that there are indeed sins that the world does recognize.
Not sins such as blasphemy, fornication, homosexuality etc... but nonetheless these sins are considered every bit as shameful and worthy of a Hester Pryne type scarlet letter.
One such sin is "snooping"...reading another's email, text messages, or even Facebook account.
My daughter never uses her email account...I doubt if anyone even remembers the password on it anymore. But, she does have Facebook and she does have a phone. With the full understanding that either her father or I can go onto her FB or her phone at anytime and read anything that she has posted.
Yep...I'm a snooper. I call it good parenting. She's only 14 and waaayyyy to young to be let loose on the world with no supervision and the Internet IS THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
So far, she has done well. I've yet to come across any inappropriate texts of hers and only a couple inappropriate texts coming to her from friends that she handled OK. The one thing we busted her for with the phone is when I checked her texting history I found she was texting in several classes...one of which she is getting a very low grade in. She lost the phone for two weeks for that. I wouldn't have known she was doing it without "snooping".
She has also made the mistake of putting a few negative comments on Facebook that I've deleted and have helped her understand to never, ever put negative things on-line...because no matter how "true" you might believe the statement to be at the time...it's out there readily retrieved at any moment and can come back to haunt you. She has also "liked" something she sees from various things and then has inappropriate content show up on her wall, so every now and then I do some housecleaning and "unlike" these things.
Mainly, I keep a close eye on her friends list. I check out the friends walls, photos, information...everything that they have available for friends to see. It's a way for me to get to "know" the kids that she has contact with. If someone looks really bad on FB and becomes a close friend in life...I talk with her about it.
Again...I just think this is good parenting. I'll do the same thing when my son gets his first FB account...about 8 months from now.
I'm am truly surprised and wholly un-understanding why so many people believe that this type of snooping is a violation of her basic human dignity. For one thing...isn't Facebook a public thing? I mean, isn't anything that any posts on it posted in public? Why is it considered "snooping" to read what someone has written on a public forum? Anything that is sent electronically...anything texts, emails, forum posts, etc. should be considered public information...and the faster my kids learn that important fact the better. My daughter has already learned that, unless it's something she would say in front of her dad and I...not to mention her pastor since he's a fb friend of hers as well...she'd better not put it on FB, or text it, etc.
As far as between my husband and I...we have no "private" things that we keep from each other. We share an email account. I have a separate one, but only for work purposes. I could care less if he reads my texts...most of them are to either him or my daughter anyway.
I don't believe in complete privacy for children...I find that to be crazy in today's world. When my daughter wants privacy between her and a friend...they can talk face to face (no internet involved) in either her room (if a girl) or on the patio (if a boy, so we can see, but not hear).
So, am I the one who is crazy? Am I a bad person for being a snoop? Not asking because I'll stop (I'm not going to)...just wondering how others view this subject.
Does anyone here have private email accounts that they keep "hidden" from their spouse and would feel justifiably angry if s/he ever looked at it...or does anyone allow their children to have private texts and social networking accounts that you would never ever check, because it would be snooping?
btw...once my kids turn 18, I'll never look again...that's when they can have privacy from me and their dad. As of now the only privacy they get is when in the bathroom.
