Spanking Our Children

[Lewis]

Seeing that this board has a turn over of new people that were not here a few years ago, I am going to ask a question that I asked, I guess a few years back. Do you spank your kids, or will you spank your kids. The Bible says to do so, because it can save their life. But people like Dr Phil, and many others think that you should be put in jail, if you hit your kids, even if it is not abuse. But Dr Phil and company think that any child spanking is abuse, they think that a timeout is the order of the day. But the Bible is clear, if they get out of hand, tare their tales up. I see people in the supermarket pleading with little Jimmy to stop. Little Jimmy is running the show, not the parents. You should not have to keep pleading with your kids, when you tell them to stop something. I heard a kid say that if his parents hit him, he would call DHS, the Department of Human Services, on his mom. This kind of garbage gives kids a free card, to do as they please. Now we are not to abuse our kids, but we are to kick their tales when they need it. So what do you all say ?

 

[Adullam]

We use a wooden spoon when forced to. If a child resists a discipline for their behaviour...like being sent to the corner.....Mr. spoon is not far behind. One whack of the spoon suffices; I don't like the repetative beatings you see with frustrated parents. One hit is enough, usually. One should never use the rod out of anger. This is important. If a parent is frustrated, that one should wait before disciplining a child. It must be done without yelling or anger (sometimes it breaks the heart of a parent to have to do this punishing but one must realize that it is for the good of the child)


I think it is wiser to hit with a stick (rod) or spoon rather than using bare hands as the hands are what gathers the child afterwards with love. It is like this (the use of an implement) so that the hands are seen as comforting and not as punishing.


Some children require more adjusting than others. Some learn from watching the example of an older sibling. This makes the their rearing that much easier! :yes

Our children have all been treated in this way, and are all following the Lord. No rebellion in the teen years...we have 5 in the teenage years.

 

[GodspromisesRyes]

We should always agree with the Lord and not the world, Of course the world will say not to spank it is abuse because they themselves cannot control themselves and do not want to be disciplined for it.

yes i believe in spanking, i dont believe in beating or abusing or anything, and i think that if you are gonna spank kids it is equally important that you are also affectionate towards them, that you hug and kiss and tickle and hold and love em up alot. That you speak love and grace to them but also truth.

I think sometimes what happens is that people are just out of balance, they either always spank but never hug em up so the child feels far from them and frustrated, or they love em up alot but let them run wild and do not correct them when they need it and fail to heed warnings. this lets them rule the house and they will despise the love they are getting anyways.

I do not want to have to spank and if a couple warnings or time outs has done nothing sometimes before i will spank i will ask them, do you want to be spanked, do i want to spank you will i spank you if i have to?(they do nto always get this but occasionally to get them to think first) they often also know when they have gotten out of control and need it and will tell me. my oldest son now is 13 but many times in the past he could go very long periods with no spankings at all he is a very well behaved son, and when he would eventually get too far he would tell me he prob needed to be spanked for what he is doing wrong LOL or after ward he would be like " man i really needed that " LOL he is a funny one i tell ya. anyways some DHS will take the kids away for it but we have to remember and believe that GOD is in control and they cannot do anything to us our kids or anything unless it is GODS plan for us so we have to obey God and love our kids Gods way and trust God to keep us. recently dhs came here because of false accusations, they asked me how we punish and i told them a few ways and i included spanking as i was not going to lie. she said they are not against spanking as long as no bruses or welts are being left and they had no problem with us.

 

[Lewis]

Yes spanking has it's place, I remember my dad would say right before I got beat on the behind with a belt, this hurts me more than it hurts you. In other words it would break his heart that he had to beat us, but it was to teach us life's lessons. we would break the law, not a big civil law, but the laws that children break, like stealing a candy bar or something, or talking back to your mother, so we had to be punished for it. Now on the talking back to your mother thing, I see a lot of kids doing that today, they even cuss their parents. If I had done that, I might not be here, years ago you could not say anything to your parents and get away with it, because you would get your tale kicked. But many kids today have no respect, and they were never taught any. Now in Biblical times the parents had the right to kill you, we can't do that, but we can use the belt, paddle or something. Also when I was in elementary school the teachers and the principle were allowed to paddle us or get hit on the hand palm with a ruler, or you got your legs spanked with a yard stick if you were a girl. And in elementary school I would also get put in a dark coat room, or I had to stand in a corner. Also in junior high we were still getting spanked, high school was the end of that.

 

[GodspromisesRyes]

i cant remember the guys name for some reason now but the guy who started the whole no spanking psycology thing like 30 years ago or something the guy who wrote all the books, decades later seeing society and how children are today lamented that he was wrong and that it was his fault that things are how they are and children are how they are and how they should be spanked and how wrong he was

 

[Sparkey]

Child Abuse!

• [list:39mpsfws]Do you spank your kids, or will you spank your kids?

[/list:u:39mpsfws]

My children are adults now. My youngest being 22 years old so no, I will not spank him even if he deserves it. I would call the police on my boy under certain circumstances though. Those circumstances would include abusing my grandchildren. My boy would go to jail in a heartbeat if he ever abused those babies and I had any say about it.

No worries though, he loves them an doesn't abuse them. No, he spanks them just like I used to spank him when he was little. I never "hit" nor slapped him and he learned from me and confirmed from the bible. Was I angry? Sometimes I was angry --but that's where the "timeout" thing came in. I'd give myself a timeout while my now obedient children waited for a spanking. Did I yell at the top of my voice? Yes, when we were playing outside and when it was appropriate, sure. There are many ways to abuse children but my yelling wasn't part of it. Child Abuse is sin. This includes neglect and starving children for love too.

I could go out on a limb and say that failing to follow God with your whole heart, with all your strength and each day of your life is failing to lead your children to their Father in Heaven. Sounds abusive to me. I don't believe in child abuse. We as parents are charged to remember those things that God has done for us, to recall the personal events that our Lord has performed for us when we were being delivered from sin. We are told to make monuments of remembrance and to take our children back to these monuments and teach them of God. Okay, that was told to the patriarchs and to the Children of Israel but I really don't think I'm stretching it because they lived their lives according to the Holy Spirit and by way of example to us.

What does the world know about raising children? They know to congratulate themselves and to applaud themselves and to puff themselves up while they lead their children toward agnosticism. I'd rather not abuse my children in that way. Never did before, why should I start now?

~Sparrow

• PS. GodspromisesRyes? Do you mean "Dr. Spock"?

 

[jasoncran]

i cant remember the guys name for some reason now but the guy who started the whole no spanking psycology thing like 30 years ago or something the guy who wrote all the books, decades later seeing society and how children are today lamented that he was wrong and that it was his fault that things are how they are and children are how they are and how they should be spanked and how wrong he was

DR.SPOCK was that person you mention, btw i have been spanked, my wife did it to her kids and they in turn to their kids though the oldest child has been lax with discipline and i fear that her daughter will be a houligan.

Lewis i was paddled in 7th grade(last time) it stopped in Florida in the late 80's. We should go back to that. Maybe our schools we be better, of course the parents must be involved.

jason

 

[kimberlyb0112]

ooh heck yeah we got our behinds spanked.. and it worked too..

That's the problem now-a-days.. no discipline

It was funny, I was talking to one of my NCO's the other day and he
was telling me how him and wife do spank their kids but they also
make them do pushups. He said if the army can use physical pt to discipline a whole
bunch of 18-20 something guys and girls then it would surely work for his kids..

I am definitely spanking my kids when they get out of hand someday..
but pushups? I dunno yet lol

I could just see it now "drop down and give me 20"

 

[jasoncran]

ooh heck yeah we got our behinds spanked.. and it worked too..

That's the problem now-a-days.. no discipline

It was funny, I was talking to one of my NCO's the other day and he
was telling me how him and wife do spank their kids but they also
make them do pushups. He said if the army can use physical pt to discipline a whole
bunch of 18-20 something guys and girls then it would surely work for his kids..

I am definitely spanking my kids when they get out of hand someday..
but pushups? I dunno yet lol

I could just see it now "drop down and give me 20"

that works, a friend of mine's dad used the iron chair and they would rather be spanked. He called it riding the harley and also had them give it gas and stop shift gears.

jason

 

[Lewis]

ooh heck yeah we got our behinds spanked.. and it worked too..

That's the problem now-a-days.. no discipline

It was funny, I was talking to one of my NCO's the other day and he
was telling me how him and wife do spank their kids but they also
make them do pushups. He said if the army can use physical pt to discipline a whole
bunch of 18-20 something guys and girls then it would surely work for his kids..

I am definitely spanking my kids when they get out of hand someday..
but pushups? I dunno yet lol

I could just see it now "drop down and give me 20"

Yeah when I was in the Army, in boot camp, one of the drill sergeants, who's name was sergeant Horseman, would make his little kids do pushups, at the time 1978, I thought he was the meanest thing on earth for that, but now I see his point.

 

[NooneSpecial]

Swats are usually my last resort. Time outs, taking away of sweets, and or the like that would usually be used as a reward to good behavior is about where I go. Otherwise should those methods not work, a single swat on the behind proves to be enough. As I said, last resort taken. Discipline is good so long as we check our tempers first at the door.

 

[Rick W]

ooh heck yeah we got our behinds spanked.. and it worked too..

 

[Nick]

ooh heck yeah we got our behinds spanked.. and it worked too..

That's the problem now-a-days.. no discipline

It was funny, I was talking to one of my NCO's the other day and he
was telling me how him and wife do spank their kids but they also
make them do pushups. He said if the army can use physical pt to discipline a whole
bunch of 18-20 something guys and girls then it would surely work for his kids..

I am definitely spanking my kids when they get out of hand someday..
but pushups? I dunno yet lol

I could just see it now "drop down and give me 20"

Kimberly, completely agree, and if/when I have kids I'll spank them (when needed). We need more disiplne in this world, and it seeems as though that disipline and control that parents used to have, they don't have it as much anymore, and children are getting more of their own way and what they want more of what they need.

I might get some enjoyment out of making them to pushups though! :D :biglaugh. "Drop and give me 50 with 20kgs on your back!" :biglol. (perhaps I shouldn't have kids! )

 

[GojuBrian]

The worst thing you can do, worse than spanking, is buy them what they want for Christmas/ birthdays,etc....then take it away for disciplinary purposes,lol. They're not toys! They're weapons!!!

 

[jasoncran]

The worst thing you can do, worse than spanking, is buy them what they want for Christmas/ birthdays,etc....then take it away for disciplinary purposes,lol. They're not toys! They're weapons!!!

sheer and and utter torture to a kid, highly effective

 

[Lewis]

Yeah I don't know what I would have done, if my dad would have took, away my GI Joe's my brother and my 1st cousin took our GI Joe's everywhere that we went, each one of us had like 3 of them, we even had the first GI Joe's of color, and also the Hot Wheels, please don't take away our GI Joe's and the Hot Wheels, we would rather take a beating. And when we needed some new Hot Wheels we would go down to the local store in Atlantic City, because we had a summer home there, and steal them. Well my little brother and my cousin, would anyway. Now that is the stuff we would get a beating for.

 

[lovely]

We use a rod as needed. The children really need to be repentant, and so I would say prayer and fasting is our best 'weapon'. God will reveal their heart sin to us, and He will give us the patience and understanding to help them learn God's word and wisdom.

 

[kimberlyb0112]

ooh heck yeah we got our behinds spanked.. and it worked too..

That's the problem now-a-days.. no discipline

It was funny, I was talking to one of my NCO's the other day and he
was telling me how him and wife do spank their kids but they also
make them do pushups. He said if the army can use physical pt to discipline a whole
bunch of 18-20 something guys and girls then it would surely work for his kids..

I am definitely spanking my kids when they get out of hand someday..
but pushups? I dunno yet lol

I could just see it now "drop down and give me 20"

Kimberly, completely agree, and if/when I have kids I'll spank them (when needed). We need more disiplne in this world, and it seeems as though that disipline and control that parents used to have, they don't have it as much anymore, and children are getting more of their own way and what they want more of what they need.

I might get some enjoyment out of making them to pushups though! :D :biglaugh. "Drop and give me 50 with 20kgs on your back!" :biglol. (perhaps I shouldn't have kids! )

lol thats hilarious.. remember Nick, It's SUPPOSED to hurt your more than it hurts them
You should be a drill SGT, you would LOVE that lol

The way I hear kids talking to their parents nowadays..oh my gosh.. I wouldn't have dreamed saying stuff like that to my parents
its crazy what this world has come to nowadays

 

[Kilomech]

ooh heck yeah we got our behinds spanked.. and it worked too..

That's the problem now-a-days.. no discipline

It was funny, I was talking to one of my NCO's the other day and he
was telling me how him and wife do spank their kids but they also
make them do pushups. He said if the army can use physical pt to discipline a whole
bunch of 18-20 something guys and girls then it would surely work for his kids..

I am definitely spanking my kids when they get out of hand someday..
but pushups? I dunno yet lol

I could just see it now "drop down and give me 20"

Actually, I rather like the pushups idea.

A woman came into my work the other day with her two young children. They had to wait for a few minutes and the two of them sat down quietly and didn't misbehave. When I mentioned to their mother how well behaved her children were, she smiled and said, 'that's because we have an effective discipline system in our household.' I leaned in and asked, 'Oh yeah?' And she proceeded to tell me what her and her husband do when the children misbehave.

They have two jars. One jar is full of little scraps of paper with chores on them. The other is full of little scraps of paper with various physical exercises on them. When they children disobey or are unruly, she or her husband would choose a jar to draw from then have them complete the task. Some tasks include, doing the dishes, cleaning the bathroom, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash for the next week, etc, from the first jar. From the second jar, they include tasks such as running ten laps up and down the steps, doing twenty push ups, etc.

She explained that it both kept the children well behaved (because none of them wanted to do chores or run laps) but also kept them in shape. I commended her method and I might adopt it myself when my son is older.

As for spanking...there's a time and there's a place. I see nothing wrong with a swat to the bum when a kid is acting up, as a quick message for him or her to calm down or get in line. I intend to use spanking as a last resort, as I don't wish to instill the notion that my child should fear me, but I still intend to use it so that I don't instill the notion that my child should not respect me. I want my son to love me as both a parent and as a friend. If I never spank, that parent aspect goes out the window. If I only spank, how will the child ever view me as a friend?

 

[theothertexasrich]

My kids either get a flat hand on a bare butt (two or three times) or, if warranted, the belt (also on bare butt). When I use the belt, I don't fling the whole belt around. I use maybe the last 12 or 14 inches (not the buckle end). Honestly, I think the hand hurts more, but the belt is scarier. :D

I DO feel bad after whacking the kids. But I'd feel WORSE if I didn't. Kids don;t realize NOW that they need discipline. If we fail to provide it, they will regret it someday and it will be too late. So, we discipline.

By clearly associating misbehavior with some (fairly minor) pain, the child is less likely to misbehave again. As much as possible, I do the disciplining as close as possible (on time and distance) to where misbehavior occurred. For example, if my son colors on the wall, I'll stand him in front of it and sternly say, "No coloring on the wall!" then whack his bottom. At this point, they know that if they see the misdeed at 12 o'clock, it's time to pucker.

Of course disciplining, while necessary, occurs only 1 percent of the time. The other 99% is spent loving and hugging and playing. My kids KNOW I will whip their butts. But they know even better that I truly do love them.