I think Thess is right about this. Believers need to use the Scripture, and teaching of the church...and accountability to God, and other brothers,...to accomplish the task of rearing children in a serious, and responsible, manner. Proverbs 27:17 It truly is our ministry for God as parents, and aside from our marriage THE MOST IMPORTANT.
We should be using discipline to correct our children, and in some serious matters even spankings, if not we bring reproach, and shame, on ouselves. Proverbs 19:26 I do not like to spank my children, and I DO think it is harder on me than it is on them, but I do it because I love God, and I love them. I have a friend who always tells me that we should be jealous for our authority with our children, the way God is jealous for us. If we require their hearts, and require them to hear us above all else, it protects them from the deceiver who desires to devour them with false teaching...humanistic in root. Proverbs 3:1-4 Is that not the very reason God tells us to have no other God's before Him?
If we teach our children the Word, the Gospel, and train them in obedience by having them walk beside us, and learn through love and discipline, then we will keep their hearts. Proverbs 4:1-5 We must walk it out before them, though. I do not think the, "do as I say, not as I do" method is Biblical at all. We must show them how to walk, and then we must teach them how to confess sin, and lean on Christ during trials...we are not perfect, but they must honor us anyway....this is for their good. Proverbs 6:20-23 The family is a training ground on how to be obedient to God, and how to use their gifts to serve the kingdom of God without pettiness, and bickering, and with a mindset to work hard to glorify God while learning to put others first. God always allows things to come into our lives for the purpose of discipline, He has built natural consequences in for sin. He is always doing me good...even in my worst trial.
We should be studying the Word with our children foremost. 2 Timothy 3:15 If we are spanking, how much more should we be teaching them the Word as God commands? "Thy Word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against thee". Our children need the Word to keep from sinning...the first step in preventing disobedience, and the MOST effective. Teaching them Biblical truths, memorizing Scripture, learning hymns...these are the best ways to train, and they should be more important than spanking...though spanking is useful in requiring obedience. Colossians 3:20
I know that others here, who do not know God, or are just in error because they are mixing man's wisdom (psychology) with God's Supreme wisdom, disagree that we should ever spank our children. These said it straight, they have thrown the baby out with the bath water, and this is error according to the Word, and it is the highest form of abuse. Discipline brings security, and stability, into the heart of a child. They learn of consequences, and they learn right from wrong, and they are prevented, by loving parents, from continuing in sin. An abusive parent will allow a child to continue in a carnal way of living, and they will become deceived early on, and become focused on self, and not on God, and serving Him. God teaches us right from the beginning that the lust of the flesh will bring death...eternal. We must train, and discipline, to save their souls, and help them see past that desire of self, and see God, and others, as their priority. The, how they will shine a light! Then, how joyful, and peaceful, they will be in the contented work of the Lord!
When my children do something wrong, they can trust that mommy will discipline them, and then it is over and we move on. They can also count on being protected from one another, and from sin, by me requiring them to be obedient, and teaching them to take their struggles to Christ. They learn SELF-CONTROL, and how to lean on God for the source of it. Does spanking have to be excessive? No, and to beat child apart from all the other things we are commanded to do as parents, is the same as not spanking them at all...it is abuse, and it will grow fruits of anger, bitterness, and resentment. Colossians 3:21 This is why so many in the world do not spank, because they have experienced this apart from love, and apart from God. I have compassion for those reasons, but even those who have been abused MUST obey God, and stop the cycle that satan desires to keep them in. NOT discipling is even worse.
I rarely have to spank my children. They are grieved over the fact that I am having to even talk to them about a matter much less spank them. Why? Because, through the help of older brothers, and sisters, in the Lord, I learned as a young mother to keep their hearts. Proverbs 23:26 Proverbs is great for teaching children to give us their hearts, and requiring it of them on a daily basis through our actions. It's a process, and they will never be perfect, though I can expect growth...especially once they become saved...which is always my hope. I learned from older believers, to teach them to honor God, learn the Word, and honor their parents. This I do to keep them from sin, coupled with prayer, so that the Lord will open their eyes to see Him.
I tell my son that the deceiver is a bird of prey seeking to steal my young ones from my nest to peck out their eyes, and devour them. He does this so that they can not see Christ, and when I see signs of disobedience, like comments other than yes mother, or rolling of eyes, etc...I know, that the deceiver is lurking, and I must gather them to me for protection. I take those signs, as a reminder to stay steadfast for God, and to encourage the older to show the younger how to respond in obedience, and in humility and not cause his younger brother, and sister, to stumble.
Proverbs 30:11-13 and Proverbs 30:17
11 There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.
12 There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.
13 There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up. (rolling eyes?)
and..
17 The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.
The world disagrees, and they have their reasons, but they are not Godly reasons, they are worldly reasons. We, believers, should look (be)different, and should appear foolish to them, because their eyes are either closed completely, or deceived on this matter...possibly even pecked out. We have been set apart by God. I encourage my brothers, and sisters, who do not agree that we need to spank at times to look at Scripture as a whole, not just the parts that fit in with a false doctrine that they may have picked up in the world that has only the appearance of being good...we are all guilty of this at times, and need a little unlearning. I would like to encourage all parents to teach the Word to their children in daily study, devotion, memorization, and catechism...this is the MOST effective way to train them, and it will hopefully open their eyes to Christ one day. Not just correcting actions, but dealing with their hearts. If we are not doing this first, and foremost, then the spanking may just be a lazy approach for those who are not applying ALL that God would have them apply to parenting. This is a ministry for God, more important most others, and we should be doing it for His glory.
The Lord bless all of you. Oh, and for those who are feeling discouraged in this area, and we all do at times, trust the Lord to do the work of changing hearts, and actions, in your little ones. Just obey Him, and He will take care of the rest.
