Spanking The Children

[AJB4]

I believe in spanking, but once I have kids, I would only ever spank them with my hand. I would never use a weapon to make it hurt more.

Is it any wonder that most children these days are spoiled little brats? Because the world has stopped spanking their kids.

 

[Poke]

Spanking the children, the Bible says to do so. But todays man says I will put you in jail even if you hit your own child.

Spanking is unavoidable when raising children. What do you when a child refuses to accept a non-violent punishment? Anyone who says spanking is unnecessary is a liar or talking from ignorance for lack of experience.

 

[Guest]

Yup. I agreed. But, certainly, we should not spank our children later on with our own hands. We should an object such as a thin wooden rock or something. If I am not wrong there is in the Bible that says that by a wooden rod a child is disciplined.

I also heard by using another object instead of our own hands. Psychologically, this will cause our children to see that it is not us who are actually making them to feel painful but it is the wooden rod.

However, we should also think one hundred times first before deciding to spank our children. If, in anyway, we spank out of our own emotion, this will sow a seed of hatred and rejection in our kids hearts. We spank them with just one purpose that is to discipline them to the way of God. Also, if there are other options (such as talking and sorting things out, give them a break - no eating chocolate for 5 days, all other things), I will certainly prefer those since I believe not one of us wants to see our children feel any physical pain (if possible), right?

What do you guys think?

 

[lovely]

Hi ruru, and welcome to the board,

ruru wrote:

However, we should also think one hundred times first before deciding to spank our children. If, in anyway, we spank out of our own emotion, this will sow a seed of hatred and rejection in our kids hearts. We spank them with just one purpose that is to discipline them to the way of God. Also, if there are other options (such as talking and sorting things out, give them a break - no eating chocolate for 5 days, all other things), I will certainly prefer those since I believe not one of us wants to see our children feel any physical pain (if possible), right?

I agree with this. I think knowing when to spank, and when not to, gets easier once you learn which of your children responds better to what method, and also when you understand the season of their little lives. I think the current patterns they may be in also need to be taken into account. You know, whether their current attitude is one of overall obedience, or one of rebellion. I try to spank as a last resort, but I let them know that I must obey God in the matter of discipline. I want to be merciful as God is too, though. I do not spank out of anger, but I clearly point out that because God hate's sin, I hate it too, and desire for them to hate it. I want them to see my emotion, though...not drama, mind you, but my heart open to them. Sometimes when I am overwhelmed, I let them know. When I am grieved over a certain action, I let them know. When I am jubilant over something, I let them know that too. I desire to be sincere, and I try to apologize if I am ever wrong, but overall have a genuine relationship with them. I want them to know that I am not perfect, but must trust the Lord to discipline them properly, and must repent to Him, and them, when I have wronged them...even when that means that they should have received discipline when they needed it, and I failed to carry it out. I require honor from them towards me in speech, tone, and action and do not want them to break the commands of God, but I do not want to provoke them, or deceive them, either. It is always a matter for the Holy Spirit to constantly help us discern, I guess. The Lord bless you, ruru, and welcome again to the board.

 

[Atonement]

It would depend on what my daughter had done and what type of punishment is giving. Examples are: sitting in her room, standing in the corner, no dessert after dinner, no playing outside. She's only 5 so I cannot use phone or computer techniques. However, if she does something that can harm her like running in the middle of the street, or something to that affect and I already told her once about it a spanking will be involved because it could lead to her own harm/death and she should know that daddy means business. I'm a single father and my daughter is very well mannered, God Blessed me with this child.
But, will I ask of any opinions here? No, because I know my heart and when or if I have to spank her it is NEVER out of anger, I have her sit in her room untill I have calmed down and she has thought about it. In the past year she has received two spankings. Not a bad deal for a single father raising a 5yr old..

 

[Lewis]

It would depend on what my daughter had done and what type of punishment is giving. Examples are: sitting in her room, standing in the corner, no dessert after dinner, no playing outside. She's only 5 so I cannot use phone or computer techniques. However, if she does something that can harm her like running in the middle of the street, or something to that affect and I already told her once about it a spanking will be involved because it could lead to her own harm/death and she should know that daddy means business. I'm a single father and my daughter is very well mannered, God Blessed me with this child.
But, will I ask of any opinions here? No, because I know my heart and when or if I have to spank her it is NEVER out of anger, I have her sit in her room untill I have calmed down and she has thought about it. In the past year she has received two spankings. Not a bad deal for a single father raising a 5yr old..

Good job

 

[lovely]

atonement,

Having been a single parent for nearly three years myself of three little ones, I praise God for what you are doing with your daughter, and trusting God's principals to help you meet the challenge. The Lord bless the both of you.

 

[Atonement]

Lewis W. Thank you for the sincere comment

Lovely, With the guidence from the Lord we can become great parents to raise our children in the Will of our Father. Thank you for your support. May God enrich your life with His Wisdom and Understanding..

 

[MorgWolfsong]

HAHAHAHAHA
isnt this the christan way
if it doesnt obay us burn it or beat it im so suprised

ok yes i will agree that hitting is a better punsihment that time out..ect... but think of this you hitting your child may case him to harbor feelings of rage hatred anger. even violence so when someone wrongs your child he may just hit them becasue thats how he was brought up

something to that affect and I already told her once about it a spanking will be involved because it could lead to her own harm/death and she should know that daddy means business.

so you teach your daughter to avoid harm by infilicting it......[/quote]

Yup. I agreed. But, certainly, we should not spank our children later on with our own hands. We should an object such as a thin wooden rock or something. If I am not wrong there is in the Bible that says that by a wooden rod a child is disciplined.

so when your child reaches his/her teen years watch out i wouldnt be suprised if he/she hit you back with a wooden rod

 

[Lewis]

HAHAHAHAHA
isnt this the christan way
if it doesnt obay us burn it or beat it im so suprised

ok yes i will agree that hitting is a better punsihment that time out..ect... but think of this you hitting your child may case him to harbor feelings of rage hatred anger. even violence so when someone wrongs your child he may just hit them becasue thats how he was brought up

something to that affect and I already told her once about it a spanking will be involved because it could lead to her own harm/death and she should know that daddy means business.

so you teach your daughter to avoid harm by infilicting it......

Yup. I agreed. But, certainly, we should not spank our children later on with our own hands. We should an object such as a thin wooden rock or something. If I am not wrong there is in the Bible that says that by a wooden rod a child is disciplined.

so when your child reaches his/her teen years watch out i wouldnt be suprised if he/she hit you back with a wooden rod[/quote]
give me a break

 

[Atonement]

I was whipped by a razor belt, and with a paddle with 25 holes drilled in it. I still have the paddle. My step father at times would beat the crap out of me when he came home drunk with his fist. I have no anger issues. I'm 32yrs old and I love my daughter with all my heart, and I told myself I will never spank her out of anger, I have not yet. You raise your child the way you want, and I'll raise my child the way I want, but already a kindergartner less then a month now since school started and her teacher wants to move her into advance education. I'm doing something right my friend..

 

[MorgWolfsong]

I was whipped by a razor belt, and with a paddle with 25 holes drilled in it. I still have the paddle. My step father at times would beat the crap out of me when he came home drunk with his fist. I have no anger issues. I'm 32yrs old and I love my daughter with all my heart, and I told myself I will never spank her out of anger, I have not yet. You raise your child the way you want, and I'll raise my child the way I want, but already a kindergartner less then a month now since school started and her teacher wants to move her into advance education. I'm doing something right my friend..

hmmm just like the rest of the world you think education is almighty well honestly we are not long for this world out lives are but a test to see if we are deserving to enter into the great kingdom i would rather live happily without a job being tormented then miserable at a job for the rest of my life
but dont get me wrong i agree that things like time outs just dont work i dont think violence is the answer.. nothing against you just how i see life

@lewis you gave the most generic answer i have ever seen
you dont beleive it well ive seen plenty of times when a kid has a parent that hits them they go berserk for example a few months ago there was a story about a kid shooting his step dad and then himself after he hit his kid so can you explain what you meant to me

 

[lovely]

Discipline brings peace, and stability, to a child. It helps both parents, and children, wipe the slate clean. The child knows that they have been disciplined, and the matter is over. Parents who yell, or give no consequence for a child's actions, are not loving their children. The value of training a child to practice self control sometimes involves temporary pain, but prevents tons more. A doctor inflicts pain for the purpose of healing. God teaches His children through pain, and perfects us to become more holy like Christ. Pain is a signal that lets us know when something is wrong, and can keep us from either acting a certain way again, or allowing a disease to worsen. Abusive situations are not the same as loving discipline from loving parents...I think we all see through that comparison. The results of abuse do cause anger, and beget anger. The results of lack of discipline cause the same thing, and encourages the child to rule over the parent. If we want to teach our children to avoid sin, and to follow the WAY, we must show them the way. If we want them to obey God, they must first learn to obey parents. The Lord bless all of you.

 

[Atonement]

AMEN Lovely

 

[dream2real]

I am married and have been for 14 years. We have four wonderful children; Joshua 13, Mike 13, Cathy 11 and Ben 9. I am an American and my wife is German. I've learned that as our children grow that spanking as a form of punishment is rarely needed. The kids know that my love for them is stronger than any mistake they can make, and a result of that is understand and showing mercy as well as discipline. Show me a father who hits out of impulse, and I will show you a man who himself has never experinced love based discipline. This man is selfish and most likely spends little or no time with his children or wife. Spending time with kids takes work and creativity. Hitting someone because they annoyed you is brainless and only requires an IQ of a jellyfish. Talking to the men out there now. you want respect from your kids or wife? Spend time with them. Do something for them and do it often. Learn how to love before you learn how to discipline. Spanking is not for everyone. Some people do not and will not learn how to impliment this form of punishment correctly. For those kinds of people, hands off. Swallow your pride and ask for help from someone in your church on how to raise your kids with love and discipline correctly. And remember; God first, wife second, children third, church fourth and your hobbies last. Take care in Jesus.

 

[MorgWolfsong]

god teaches though pain?? um how so
if you say people Dieing no that is just a normal part of life or a bad choice on the persons part that put them in harms way.

The child knows that they have been disciplined

maybe sometimes but others they will just harbor anger at you until they snap its happened before and it will happen again

The value of training a child to practice self control sometimes involves temporary pain,

now it sounds like your training a dog... in case you haven't noticed humans have free will and we are the only creature on this earth that does.
I have one question. have you ever asked your kids if they want to be a christian if they want to even follow religion.. because it is their choice you cannot force God onto others as we saw when the america's were colonised it only resulted in bloodshed

 

[lovely]

Hi Morg,

MorgWolfsong wrote:

god teaches though pain?? um how so
if you say people Dieing no that is just a normal part of life or a bad choice on the persons part that put them in harms way.

I guess dying could be one way. It's not the reason for the death, but the death itself that matters, because we are talking about pain, not the source of it. It causes mourning, sorrow, and agony, but it also brings comfort, and lessons of learning to be thankful, and trust God, no matter what. I lost my husband in December of 1993, and God taught me a great deal through it. I also watched while He comforted my children, and taught them too...and He is still teaching us through this pain. Our tribulations teach us, Morg. They serve to refine us, strengthen us, and discipline us. Pain, Sorrow, and Suffering, can be our teachers.

Romans 5:1-5

1 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Morg Wolfsong wrote:

maybe sometimes but others they will just harbor anger at you until they snap its happened before and it will happen again

It's not for pleasure that a parent disciplines properly, but for the profit of the child, so that they may know how to obey the Lord. This does not cause anger, because God wouldn't tell us to do it otherwise. If a child is angry after proper discipline, then they are in sin.

Hebrews 12:9

5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.
11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby

MorgWolfsong:

now it sounds like your training a dog... in case you haven't noticed humans have free will and we are the only creature on this earth that does.
I have one question. have you ever asked your kids if they want to be a christian if they want to even follow religion.. because it is their choice you cannot force God onto others as we saw when the america's were colonised it only resulted in bloodshed

I prayed for each of the three children I have, after losing two. I do not see them as dogs in the least, but as tremendous blessings from God entrusted into my care. (I am not sure why you have taken a condescending tone?) I train my children in the WAY, so that they will not depart from it because I want to please God, and I love them. I do not ask them anything, or force God (as if one could), because all of that is up to God, not me. I do my best to obey God, and let the results be in His capable hands. I will still spend years training, teaching, disciplining, loving, praying, encouraging, and so on, all of my children. It is my ministry before God, my duty to my children, and has been one of my greatest blessings apart from being a wife. When I stand before Him I want to hear, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." The Lord bless you, Morg.