Like i said, prayer is like a chore that I really don’t want to do. Like I said I think I maybe could be dealing with what is mentioned in Isaiah 61:3. I am apathetic. I am having a lot of wicked thoughts from my flesh and I feel like giving up. I hope there is still hope for me.
You being here demonstrates that there is hope for you.
So you were born into a spiritual war behind enemy lines. You had a hard landing and got knocked out so you can't remember what your mission is to do here.
You only have two things left to you. One is an instruction manual (your Bible), and you have a Radio that is snswered in the throne room of God.
You are thinking it is very dry and as chores to pray or read? Don't you want to know who you were created to be? The book tells you where you came from. It is hard and dry at first, but then one day you open it up and begin reading...and it will talk to you about yourself.
Don't you see what's happening? You are being attacked by the enemy. They got the word that you accepted the Lord as your savior, so they dispatched an attack to discourage you and make you quit! Because the enemy knows who and what you were created to be, and he doesn't like that one bit.
You can not beat this enemy on your own. You will have to pick up the Radio and say, Help, God! Or you will die.
Understand and remember that when you think about not praying that you are being attacked because the enemy can project thoughts into your head. So that is the exact time that you must, run to the Lord in Prayer and say Here, Lord. Help me through this...
And He will help you. That's what He does. When He does and He hears your prayer, you will feel a sense of peace come over you. That is from the Lord. The enemy is not able to project peace and would not even if they could.
If you want to stop having so many bad thoughts like you said, then understand that, your brain is like a computer. First in/First Out. Garbage in/Garbage out. What you think about leaves a residue in your mind which will stay as a residual for awhile until overwritten by newer data. (New thoughts).
So change your thought processes. How? I'm glad you asked, by picking up a book and reading it. Yes, I'm talking about your Bible. This imprints what the Lord is all about upon your heart and mind. Read it. Think about it, and the bad thoughts will go away because...you havent thought about things like that because you have been putting different information into your mind. Information about God and yourself. The truth.
If you are unwilling to do those two things, then there is little hope for you. Use that Radio! Use that manual!