[__ Prayer __] spiritual warfare, yet again?

[Christ_empowered]

so, I get taunted. comes with the territory. maybe...1-2 weeks age, I'm relaxing in my room, shades drawn (always...I open the blinds in the other rooms, my room stays dark...), and I hear some lady yell out "that's it, you're going to Prison!"

jail, prison. now and then, there's talk of putting me in the state hospital. and...and...and...

ugh. I can't claim to be sinless or blameless or that my life before Jesus saved (is saving, will save) me was exactly...how shall I put this? crime-free?...but I have a clean background check, and...this just in: brain damage is not -actually- helpful to most people. true story. long story, too.

I ask about 'spiritual warfare,' because, honestly, it seems that as I get closer to my (loving, long suffering, liberal and moral parents), the more...pushback I get. True story. Its...the south, cluster of small towns, I live in a small city. its not as if jetting over to their place is a great escape or anything, lol. but...but...

ok, here's the thing...a lot of the horrible sins (and yes, I'll be the 1st to admit: crimes! criminal behavior!) from yesteryear were largely from....brain damage, much of it deliberately inflicted by psychiatrists ("just doing our jobs," apparently) and also I may have had AIDS? I say may have because I've never actually been given a.single.dose of medication for the dreaded HIV+, but I"m healthy, now, by His grace, and...and...

ugh. you know what's strange? I could have been committed, based on criminal acts, which likely would have meant a -long- stint in the state hospital, probably lifelong 'treatment' after release...but the shrinks said I was not mentally ill, and that I was 'malingering' to 'avoid taking responsibility.' truth? i'd had way too much (involuntary) electroshock, a mystery brain operation (no, really...also not voluntary...stay out of psych hospitals! LOL), and the HIV+ and...and...

rambling. no arrest record, now. I thank God (1), my parents (not at all distant 2nd) and I"m suspecting some 1%-er relatives who....doesn't matter, I suppose. long short is...

I am -hated- and there is no real escape. Thing is...my absolute last run in with the legal system (eek!) happened (as in, my behavior made it happen, obviously) about 8 years ago...

and, by the grace of God, I got saved on bond. strange, intense situation...plea bargain, sealed, etc. not exactly the poster child for megachurch conservativism's "take personal responsibility!, etc., but...I don't care for megachurches, anyway. Not conservative, either, but...I do respect conservative Christians, even when I (almost always) disagree. moving on...

this is just...ridiculous, I guess. with the taunts and such (no, really...for all this talk of "Schizophrenia" and such, I don't hear stuff from my mind now, but I do hear what people say loudly enough for me to overhear...funny how that works...) intensifying (happy holidays!), I don't...get it.

from a spiritual angle, I think its...an attempt at -oppression- , like my Pentecostal friend will tell me "that's not -depression- that's oppression, and its from satan," so...yeah. Concur, basically.

oh, and...please don't be freaked out by the talk of psych junk. my IQ estimate is now up there, like 145-150, now. I started with a 120 estimate, age 17-18. brain damage is pretty much what psychiatry is about -especially- in hospitals, and not just state hospitals. outpatient...well, fyi: long term, most psych drugs cause brain damage that does show up brain scans. its worse with the antipsychotics, but...actually, long term, they're all pretty rough. true story.

point is...in Christ, I'm healthy and smart and surprisingly...normal...and close to my loving, wonderful, good parents. hooray, peace love and reconciliation! and the reaction I'm getting is...

anything but fun. :-( this is rough, sometimes worse than others. right now, I think its bad because...ok, I don't know why, honestly. lol. The shrinks seems to regard me as a 'trouble maker,' I'm forever being taunted because i was hooked on pills by prescription way back when, and...and...

ugh. ugh. ugh. -frustrating- truth? on a day to day basis, my new life, in Christ...is peaceful. I'm a peaceful person, too. it helps to not have obvious brain damage and to be healthy, of course. and I don't even get really angry about this stuff, its more like...well, what is it people -want- , anyway? I pray for my enemies, per Scripture, and...well, now in Christ...I -do- pray and hope that The Lord blesses them, I do. I also -do- pray for that -hedge of protection- , because...whoa. I kinda suspect people have been in my place (really an apartment, but they're called condos, officially), and...that's creepy and unnerving and...

ramble, ramble. Parents and me...pray for us, please? as always: thank you!

 

[Tessa]

so, I get taunted. comes with the territory. maybe...1-2 weeks age, I'm relaxing in my room, shades drawn (always...I open the blinds in the other rooms, my room stays dark...), and I hear some lady yell out "that's it, you're going to Prison!"

jail, prison. now and then, there's talk of putting me in the state hospital. and...and...and...

ugh. I can't claim to be sinless or blameless or that my life before Jesus saved (is saving, will save) me was exactly...how shall I put this? crime-free?...but I have a clean background check, and...this just in: brain damage is not -actually- helpful to most people. true story. long story, too.

I ask about 'spiritual warfare,' because, honestly, it seems that as I get closer to my (loving, long suffering, liberal and moral parents), the more...pushback I get. True story. Its...the south, cluster of small towns, I live in a small city. its not as if jetting over to their place is a great escape or anything, lol. but...but...

ok, here's the thing...a lot of the horrible sins (and yes, I'll be the 1st to admit: crimes! criminal behavior!) from yesteryear were largely from....brain damage, much of it deliberately inflicted by psychiatrists ("just doing our jobs," apparently) and also I may have had AIDS? I say may have because I've never actually been given a.single.dose of medication for the dreaded HIV+, but I"m healthy, now, by His grace, and...and...

ugh. you know what's strange? I could have been committed, based on criminal acts, which likely would have meant a -long- stint in the state hospital, probably lifelong 'treatment' after release...but the shrinks said I was not mentally ill, and that I was 'malingering' to 'avoid taking responsibility.' truth? i'd had way too much (involuntary) electroshock, a mystery brain operation (no, really...also not voluntary...stay out of psych hospitals! LOL), and the HIV+ and...and...

rambling. no arrest record, now. I thank God (1), my parents (not at all distant 2nd) and I"m suspecting some 1%-er relatives who....doesn't matter, I suppose. long short is...

I am -hated- and there is no real escape. Thing is...my absolute last run in with the legal system (eek!) happened (as in, my behavior made it happen, obviously) about 8 years ago...

and, by the grace of God, I got saved on bond. strange, intense situation...plea bargain, sealed, etc. not exactly the poster child for megachurch conservativism's "take personal responsibility!, etc., but...I don't care for megachurches, anyway. Not conservative, either, but...I do respect conservative Christians, even when I (almost always) disagree. moving on...

this is just...ridiculous, I guess. with the taunts and such (no, really...for all this talk of "Schizophrenia" and such, I don't hear stuff from my mind now, but I do hear what people say loudly enough for me to overhear...funny how that works...) intensifying (happy holidays!), I don't...get it.

from a spiritual angle, I think its...an attempt at -oppression- , like my Pentecostal friend will tell me "that's not -depression- that's oppression, and its from satan," so...yeah. Concur, basically.

oh, and...please don't be freaked out by the talk of psych junk. my IQ estimate is now up there, like 145-150, now. I started with a 120 estimate, age 17-18. brain damage is pretty much what psychiatry is about -especially- in hospitals, and not just state hospitals. outpatient...well, fyi: long term, most psych drugs cause brain damage that does show up brain scans. its worse with the antipsychotics, but...actually, long term, they're all pretty rough. true story.

point is...in Christ, I'm healthy and smart and surprisingly...normal...and close to my loving, wonderful, good parents. hooray, peace love and reconciliation! and the reaction I'm getting is...

anything but fun. :-( this is rough, sometimes worse than others. right now, I think its bad because...ok, I don't know why, honestly. lol. The shrinks seems to regard me as a 'trouble maker,' I'm forever being taunted because i was hooked on pills by prescription way back when, and...and...

ugh. ugh. ugh. -frustrating- truth? on a day to day basis, my new life, in Christ...is peaceful. I'm a peaceful person, too. it helps to not have obvious brain damage and to be healthy, of course. and I don't even get really angry about this stuff, its more like...well, what is it people -want- , anyway? I pray for my enemies, per Scripture, and...well, now in Christ...I -do- pray and hope that The Lord blesses them, I do. I also -do- pray for that -hedge of protection- , because...whoa. I kinda suspect people have been in my place (really an apartment, but they're called condos, officially), and...that's creepy and unnerving and...

ramble, ramble. Parents and me...pray for us, please? as always: thank you!

Praying that The Lord will comfort and strengthen you, and give many blessings to you and your family

 

[Christ_empowered]

thank you, Tessa

the taunting gets intense. it doesn't help that I'm labeled with a "psychotic disorder" when really...I dunno. I"m kind of inclined to think I just went thru a lot and the tranq helps me not (over)react to daily stuff plus this junk. -sigh-

blah. the upstairs dudes, one of them yelled out about beating me up. Had their front door closed, etc. I don't know why this organized bullying is a-OK, but...its frustrating, lemme tell you. I'm not...being 'paranoid,' there do seem to be people 'round these parts (LOL) who rather enjoy bullying me, trying to intimidate me, pushing me around...

0 criminal record. healthy. bright eyed. surprisingly...normal. so, its not all because of the stuff 'weaklings' (how I hate that term...) go thru, or whatever. If anything...

well, this one dude I -did not know- at a gas station looked at me and said "he needs to know HIS PLACE in society," and I get that one, too, more or less on loop. true story. outcast? yes, yes, yes. "mental patients," especially 'trouble makers" and/or "uppity mental patients" would seem to be permanent pariahs in modern society. -sigh-

the antipsychiatry people say that psychiatry is about social control and its also slavery. I go back and forth on that, but...more and more...I'm leaning towards "well...yes, actually...yes, that is correct." question is: what am I to -do- about it?

Thanks again.

 

[Truthfrees]

praying

 

[Christ_empowered]

this is (understandably...) frustrating. it isn't that I live in a 'conservative' area, although...that seems to be part of the surface level troubles. what it means to be 'conservative' plays out differently in different contexts, anyway. here...im actually able to avoid the state hospital, the heavy hand of the worst psychiatry has to...errr...offer? in many other state--red, blue, whatever-- I'd be locked up, boom, that's it. Am I so "sick" that I need that sort of "care" ? no. not really. would my input matter? no, it doesn't here, either. bigger question: would my not middle class, but also not rich, parents' clout and love matter, elsewhere? maybe, maybe not. :-(

so, this is where God has me, for this season of my life. better than other...places (state hospital, jail, prison, real poverty mixed with very real stigma and very real enemies...) I could easily be, so...God is Love.

and...people are just...people, really. most are on the broad road. i was, too. I wish...there was a place where I could be free of the labels, maybe get a little j-o-b, and just...live, as who I am now, in Christ.

I am beginning to suspect there is no such place, this side of Heaven, for me. I have freedom in Christ, I have the freedom in this place, this corner of the world, He has for me, and...

'play the hand you're dealt,' perhaps? I pray His -perfect will- for me.

 

[jerry63935]

this is (understandably...) frustrating. it isn't that I live in a 'conservative' area, although...that seems to be part of the surface level troubles. what it means to be 'conservative' plays out differently in different contexts, anyway. here...im actually able to avoid the state hospital, the heavy hand of the worst psychiatry has to...errr...offer? in many other state--red, blue, whatever-- I'd be locked up, boom, that's it. Am I so "sick" that I need that sort of "care" ? no. not really. would my input matter? no, it doesn't here, either. bigger question: would my not middle class, but also not rich, parents' clout and love matter, elsewhere? maybe, maybe not. :-(

so, this is where God has me, for this season of my life. better than other...places (state hospital, jail, prison, real poverty mixed with very real stigma and very real enemies...) I could easily be, so...God is Love.

and...people are just...people, really. most are on the broad road. i was, too. I wish...there was a place where I could be free of the labels, maybe get a little j-o-b, and just...live, as who I am now, in Christ.

I am beginning to suspect there is no such place, this side of Heaven, for me. I have freedom in Christ, I have the freedom in this place, this corner of the world, He has for me, and...

'play the hand you're dealt,' perhaps? I pray His -perfect will- for me.

next time you hear this play the song thanks to Calvary i dont live here any more . you need to stop the panic anytime you hear the word prison. you being held captive by your own fears

 

[jerry63935]

blah. the upstairs dudes, one of them yelled out about beating me up.

who is your landlord ?

 

[Edward]

thank you, Tessa

the taunting gets intense. it doesn't help that I'm labeled with a "psychotic disorder" when really...I dunno. I"m kind of inclined to think I just went thru a lot and the tranq helps me not (over)react to daily stuff plus this junk. -sigh-

blah. the upstairs dudes, one of them yelled out about beating me up. Had their front door closed, etc. I don't know why this organized bullying is a-OK, but...its frustrating, lemme tell you. I'm not...being 'paranoid,' there do seem to be people 'round these parts (LOL) who rather enjoy bullying me, trying to intimidate me, pushing me around...

0 criminal record. healthy. bright eyed. surprisingly...normal. so, its not all because of the stuff 'weaklings' (how I hate that term...) go thru, or whatever. If anything...

well, this one dude I -did not know- at a gas station looked at me and said "he needs to know HIS PLACE in society," and I get that one, too, more or less on loop. true story. outcast? yes, yes, yes. "mental patients," especially 'trouble makers" and/or "uppity mental patients" would seem to be permanent pariahs in modern society. -sigh-

the antipsychiatry people say that psychiatry is about social control and its also slavery. I go back and forth on that, but...more and more...I'm leaning towards "well...yes, actually...yes, that is correct." question is: what am I to -do- about it?

Thanks again.

Scripture says you should be rejoicing when they give you a hard time.

Matthew 5:11-12
11 Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. 12 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.../(NKJV)

It's not exactly far fetched to believe that this is over the Lord and because you got saved. They may not have ever said anything like that to you, but...when did it start? After you became born again. I'd bet money on that. You prolly got none of that type of thing when you were walking in darkness, so I think this is a 2+2=4 thing...it is about you getting saved. So...rejoice Brother! For great is your reward in heaven. ;)

 

[Tessa]

thank you, Tessa

the taunting gets intense. it doesn't help that I'm labeled with a "psychotic disorder" when really...I dunno. I"m kind of inclined to think I just went thru a lot and the tranq helps me not (over)react to daily stuff plus this junk. -sigh-

blah. the upstairs dudes, one of them yelled out about beating me up. Had their front door closed, etc. I don't know why this organized bullying is a-OK, but...its frustrating, lemme tell you. I'm not...being 'paranoid,' there do seem to be people 'round these parts (LOL) who rather enjoy bullying me, trying to intimidate me, pushing me around...

0 criminal record. healthy. bright eyed. surprisingly...normal. so, its not all because of the stuff 'weaklings' (how I hate that term...) go thru, or whatever. If anything...

well, this one dude I -did not know- at a gas station looked at me and said "he needs to know HIS PLACE in society," and I get that one, too, more or less on loop. true story. outcast? yes, yes, yes. "mental patients," especially 'trouble makers" and/or "uppity mental patients" would seem to be permanent pariahs in modern society. -sigh-

the antipsychiatry people say that psychiatry is about social control and its also slavery. I go back and forth on that, but...more and more...I'm leaning towards "well...yes, actually...yes, that is correct." question is: what am I to -do- about it?

Thanks again.

Bullies always find something on anyone to pick on.
Pay no heed. Plenty love and respect you here.
Pray CE and ask The Lord to help you. He works awesome miracles.
Praying for you.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I will pray again, Tessa .

I'm still in the habit of (over)analyzing, which feeds into fear which creates intense fear ("paranoia"), in part because of my past, when I was on the broad road. and so...

I simmered down. it took a couple (prescribed) neurontin, but yeah...I simmered. I try to -not- take that stuff. Not addictive, not even pleasant, just....calming, that's all. And a little bit...well, it impairs concentration a bit (low dose), so there's that, too.

its just so crazy. my parents came to the conclusion that I had "developed Schizophrenia," after I moved in with them. They didn't forgive me until The Lord willed to make that happen, though...the "Schizophrenia" (what is that, anyway?) may have been an upgrade from "embarrassment to the family" and "total mess up," but...not a big one, I'm afraid. and now...

sometimes, it feels like elaborate theater, you know? acting, parts, scripts....I go to some clinic that focuses on people with "severe mental illness," and I'm supposed to talk about my life in terms of "symptoms" and they talk about the important of "staying on the meds (drugs)," and I pretend to believe that they actually try to "help" people achieve "recovery," which...honestly....

-sigh- the "recovery model" looks like a lot of drugs...often by force or coercion (not in my case, probably because of my parents, thank God)...and a lot of state-subsidized poverty. wow. future's so bright, I gotta wear shades. lol.

but its OK. for me, anyway. And I can pray for other people...maybe one day, I'll be far enough along to speak to someone or show a tiny bit of Christ to them, plants some seeds...

in the meantime? I can just do and be...me, as Christ grows in me and I hopefully...shrink, some days (years?) more so than others. In the end, most people are only responsible for their own salvation, sins, and overall life. I think the exceptions are teachers and ministers...-eek- don't want that in my life, no thanks.

but yeah..spiritual warfare...

I'm blessed, beyond measure. Saw my parents today. They've been cooking....making these deluxe sandwiches at home, they're good. Had one, then had to roll out to pick up a grocery order. Thing is...

-ugh- my "recovery" (read: The Lord moving in my life) is at the point where I can sense some distance, some...well, not to go all emo, but am I really a member of the family, again, or is to more...

I"m (apparently forever and ever) "sick" and in need of "help" ? l dunno. They're good people, I'm not writing that to pity party or to speak ill of them (no, no, no...quality people, my parents) its just....

its a thought, some days more so than others. today was a "more so" day, obviously.

ugh. and yet...God is Good! and my parents are very, very, very good to me. I just wish I could have a rest from taunting, judging, etc...

but maybe that's not God's will, for right now? I don't think it comes -from Him- , more like...isn't all this kind of stuff supposed to be "Father-filtered," I think is the term I've heard used? maybe?

ok. finished, for now.

 

[humble soul]

my IQ estimate is now up there, like 145-150, no

Almost as high as mine. Well done.

 

[Tessa]

I will pray again, Tessa .

I'm still in the habit of (over)analyzing, which feeds into fear which creates intense fear ("paranoia"), in part because of my past, when I was on the broad road. and so...

I simmered down. it took a couple (prescribed) neurontin, but yeah...I simmered. I try to -not- take that stuff. Not addictive, not even pleasant, just....calming, that's all. And a little bit...well, it impairs concentration a bit (low dose), so there's that, too.

its just so crazy. my parents came to the conclusion that I had "developed Schizophrenia," after I moved in with them. They didn't forgive me until The Lord willed to make that happen, though...the "Schizophrenia" (what is that, anyway?) may have been an upgrade from "embarrassment to the family" and "total mess up," but...not a big one, I'm afraid. and now...

sometimes, it feels like elaborate theater, you know? acting, parts, scripts....I go to some clinic that focuses on people with "severe mental illness," and I'm supposed to talk about my life in terms of "symptoms" and they talk about the important of "staying on the meds (drugs)," and I pretend to believe that they actually try to "help" people achieve "recovery," which...honestly....

-sigh- the "recovery model" looks like a lot of drugs...often by force or coercion (not in my case, probably because of my parents, thank God)...and a lot of state-subsidized poverty. wow. future's so bright, I gotta wear shades. lol.

but its OK. for me, anyway. And I can pray for other people...maybe one day, I'll be far enough along to speak to someone or show a tiny bit of Christ to them, plants some seeds...

in the meantime? I can just do and be...me, as Christ grows in me and I hopefully...shrink, some days (years?) more so than others. In the end, most people are only responsible for their own salvation, sins, and overall life. I think the exceptions are teachers and ministers...-eek- don't want that in my life, no thanks.

but yeah..spiritual warfare...

I'm blessed, beyond measure. Saw my parents today. They've been cooking....making these deluxe sandwiches at home, they're good. Had one, then had to roll out to pick up a grocery order. Thing is...

-ugh- my "recovery" (read: The Lord moving in my life) is at the point where I can sense some distance, some...well, not to go all emo, but am I really a member of the family, again, or is to more...

I"m (apparently forever and ever) "sick" and in need of "help" ? l dunno. They're good people, I'm not writing that to pity party or to speak ill of them (no, no, no...quality people, my parents) its just....

its a thought, some days more so than others. today was a "more so" day, obviously.

ugh. and yet...God is Good! and my parents are very, very, very good to me. I just wish I could have a rest from taunting, judging, etc...

but maybe that's not God's will, for right now? I don't think it comes -from Him- , more like...isn't all this kind of stuff supposed to be "Father-filtered," I think is the term I've heard used? maybe?

ok. finished, for now.

One of my favourite verses is Philippians 4:8
"And finally, brethren, whatever things ate true, whatever things are noble. Whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue, and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things."

 

[Edward]

but its OK. for me, anyway. And I can pray for other people...maybe one day, I'll be far enough along to speak to someone or show a tiny bit of Christ to them, plants some seeds...

in the meantime? I can just do and be...me, as Christ grows in me and I hopefully...shrink, some days (years?) more so than others. In the end, most people are only responsible for their own salvation, sins, and overall life. I think the exceptions are teachers and ministers...-eek- don't want that in my life, no thanks.

but yeah..spiritual warfare...

That's what you have to do Brother. And if you're not quite there yet to be able to speak to them and plant seeds...you can at least pray to yourself for them and hold to a place of peace and forgiveness in your heart. Sometimes it is very difficult to do and that is ok you continue to try to emulate our Lord and cling to Him and ask for help from the Lord and just do it by an act of your will and you are slowly taking on the Characteristics of Christ. It's an ongoing process and your growth in this is apparent over time. You yourself can probably look back over the past 8-10 years or so that you've been saved and see the changes within you.

I can do this. I didn't even realize it to down the road a ways and I realized that, I do not react to certain situations like I used to. So I know that you can see it in yourself too. I see the changes in you over time. So you're in a bad spot but continue to grow in the Lord and that should make you feel good. It's a slow sanctification process but try to hold your heart in forgiveness for these people who taunt you. Like Jesus did. It may suck now Brother, but, you have a lot to look forward to by hanging in there. You see, when it's all over and they putting you in a box to bury you...it isn't over! That is the beginning of life for us all. I continue to pray for you Brother.

 

[Christ_empowered]

me, yet again. LOL.

-gratitude- : The Lord has seen fit to bring deliverance, soteria - style salvation, to -me- , which...OK, now that I take a couple steps back, a couple deep breaths...wow. God is truly Good and merciful, amen.

I don't know the people who live upstairs. I don't know why they go out of their way to avoid any contact with me...its awkward, for me, when I'm just checking my mail, getting into or out of my vehicle, and these people directly over me...and I -don't know- them, keep that in mind...go out of their way to avoid -any contact- . not Mr.Popular...a neighbor in the building, I think new (? I don't keep track) went out of his way to even avoid -eye contact- with me, as I was moving my vehicle out of my spot and getting on with my day. True story. -super awkward- and...I don't know these people, so its also more than a tad confusing.

yeah, so...the upstairs people, the ones who go so far to avoid the least bit of interaction with me, at all...deliberately talk loudly enough for me to hear, in my unit, directly underneath theirs. awesome. apparently, they want to "call the police" and/or "call his probation officer!," and they somehow know that my parents are retired from their former place of work and get a pension (? how do they know this? who are these people?). I know, it sounds like 'paranoid delusions,' etc., the thing is....

-ugh- so, I rolled up to the building one night, not late, but dark, already. I overheard some dude saying "look, I feel bad for him, but he -cannot live here- ..." on and on and on. -blah-

keep in mind...my parents own this place, thank goodness. They're --not-- rich, but they had some money in investments, and...yeah, they bought it, lock stock and barrel. I'm fortunate to live in an area where there's decent real estate out there...not super cheap, but not crazy expen$ive, either. I'm also -not- the only "Schizophrenic" who gets serious help from family, 'round these parts. I mean, c'mon...most of the state hospital has been shredded down to bare bones (a good thing, maybe? I dunno...), and everybody's gotta live somewhere, so...

welcome to "treatment in the community." LOL. Oh, and people are forever talking loudly about having me "committed to the state hospital" and/or "his public defender should be fired for this!" and/or "he's on a lifetime court order!," blah blah blah. Ugh. Not their business or anything, but I was in legal trouble -8 years ago- , parents pitied me and hired a good lawyer, now I've been free from probation over 4 years. so, I dunno. deliberate intimidation? mind games? busy bodies with nothing better to do? small town, small city rumor mills going into over-drive? i dunno. i'm trying to -not- analyze, but it gets difficult, what with people basically forcing me to either listen to their jibber jabber or put in my headphones. lol.

so, I'm hoping and praying that this comes to an end, soon(ish). I do know that The Lord will provide (and has provided, amen) what I need to bear up under it, and I am increasingly grateful. This is minor compared to what could be happening, obviously. Its just...

-sigh- my concern is that people are so focused on controlling me and such, what are they going to do when...they can't? People have yelled out about me getting 'beat up,' and...yeah. yeah. I'm not freaking out-level scared...I try to keep in mind, 'perfect love casteth out all fear...,' but...

ugh. can't we all just get along? lol. thanks for reading.

 

[humble soul]

thanks for reading.

I didn't read all of it to be honest.

 

[Tessa]

Yes CE it would be great if we all got along
In this word.
Prayimg for peace.

 

[Link1983]

thank you, Tessa

the taunting gets intense. it doesn't help that I'm labeled with a "psychotic disorder" when really...I dunno. I"m kind of inclined to think I just went thru a lot and the tranq helps me not (over)react to daily stuff plus this junk. -sigh-

blah. the upstairs dudes, one of them yelled out about beating me up. Had their front door closed, etc. I don't know why this organized bullying is a-OK, but...its frustrating, lemme tell you. I'm not...being 'paranoid,' there do seem to be people 'round these parts (LOL) who rather enjoy bullying me, trying to intimidate me, pushing me around...

0 criminal record. healthy. bright eyed. surprisingly...normal. so, its not all because of the stuff 'weaklings' (how I hate that term...) go thru, or whatever. If anything...

well, this one dude I -did not know- at a gas station looked at me and said "he needs to know HIS PLACE in society," and I get that one, too, more or less on loop. true story. outcast? yes, yes, yes. "mental patients," especially 'trouble makers" and/or "uppity mental patients" would seem to be permanent pariahs in modern society. -sigh-

the antipsychiatry people say that psychiatry is about social control and its also slavery. I go back and forth on that, but...more and more...I'm leaning towards "well...yes, actually...yes, that is correct." question is: what am I to -do- about it?

Thanks again.

Pray that you find peace . And also.. He teaches us how to get there.
It is not about what has been done. It's about what we do after.

Our warfare goes about in our minds. It is good to understand this fact.
Psychology can be beneficial, but it doesn't take spiritual things into account. And so psychology only treats the surface of our issues.
To solve our issues we need to get to the root of it.
That is only done by addressing our spiritual condition.. By the Word.
L

 

[Tessa]

That is good advice from Link CE
I know it can be hard to do at times but if you can let go of the past it will be so much easier to find peace. I know satan can throw thongs back at us. Rebuke him and think of something beautiful.
Eacn day today is important.
Love and Blessings to you always.

 

[Christ_empowered]

thank you both.