[__ Prayer __] still more progress...

[Christ_empowered]

Thanks only to Christ, of course.

I'm a work-in-progress (saved all of 4 years). For now, I live off disability and my (loving, kind, generous, long suffering, hard working) parents. Not ideal, but it is...what it is. According to my current counselor, I've had some kinda mental problem for most of my life, it was intense for about 10 years, and now I'm stable-ish.

Now, thanks to Christ, I get along well with my parents, even though I was a horrible son from 15+/- on. Mental problems undoubtedly played a role, but there were character problems, too. I was just...not a good person, plus I had problems, plus...plus...plus...and I didn't have any redeeming qualities, which is sad all around.

Anyway, the community mental health clinic I go to has most people with a counselor and a psychiatrist. For a while there, I was seeing the counselor every 2 weeks and the psychiatrist every 4 weeks, which is about as intense as these sorts of clinics can get.

I like my counselor. Born Again Christian, m.Div, good man. He brought up the possibility of moving my care onto the "medication management" phase. Basically, I'd no longer be in counseling and my visits with the doctor would be down to every 3 months. In addition, some of those quarterly visits wouldn't be with the doctor; they'd be with a nurse who I guess/assume would chat me up and then get the prescriptions over to my pharmacy, somehow.

I'm not real gung-ho about giving up on counseling, but its supposed to happen eventually, right? I guess its because I like the idea of human interaction and such with my mental health. But...its community mental health, I'm stable, my living situation is as close to ideal as I can get, and I've made progress, so...there it is. There's also the cost issues, of course. Disability covers limited talk therapy sessions. The emphasis is on drug-treatment, which makes sense since people on disability are more severely ill/disabled, so the pills are a bigger part of the solution.

This is a Praise Report. My relationship with my parents is also improving, more so with my mother than with my father. I don't know. My dad and I weren't close at all when I was growing up, I was horrible to him, now I"m different and all, and...yeah. I love him, he loves me, but there's always been a distance there, and I don't know if we'll ever be all that close. To be honest, my father is something of a mystery to me. He's a good man, but I don't think I truly --know-- him, and I think I've only recently begun to genuinely --know-- my mother, as a person, not just as mama.

OK. So, its a praise report and prayer request, mixed together, as usual. I Praise God (!!!!) for His goodness and His mercy, compassion, even straight up pity (godly pity is perfectly valid, I think). At the same time, I pray that I can genuinely get to know and appreciate my father and have a meaningful relationship with him, outside of what he can provide for me.

Oh, and that's another thing. Its like, I want to know my dad, I want to spend time with my dad, always have, but he's always been focused on providing and then he gets upset because he thinks that's all I want/need him for, I think. We're not really big on talking about this kind of stuff in my family, plus I'm blessed that they'll even have me here at my age and do all the good things they've done and are doing for me, but...yeah. I don't just want him for stuff he does and things he gives me, but that's what he always focused on doing and now its what he thinks I'm after with him, when really I --do-- care about him, I just don't --know-- him, never really have.

OK. Finished, for now. Please pray. Thanks.

 

[Angel]

Praying for reconciliation with your father.

 

[Pegasus]

Thanks only to Christ, of course.

I'm a work-in-progress (saved all of 4 years). For now, I live off disability and my (loving, kind, generous, long suffering, hard working) parents. Not ideal, but it is...what it is. According to my current counselor, I've had some kinda mental problem for most of my life, it was intense for about 10 years, and now I'm stable-ish.

Now, thanks to Christ, I get along well with my parents, even though I was a horrible son from 15+/- on. Mental problems undoubtedly played a role, but there were character problems, too. I was just...not a good person, plus I had problems, plus...plus...plus...and I didn't have any redeeming qualities, which is sad all around.

Anyway, the community mental health clinic I go to has most people with a counselor and a psychiatrist. For a while there, I was seeing the counselor every 2 weeks and the psychiatrist every 4 weeks, which is about as intense as these sorts of clinics can get.

I like my counselor. Born Again Christian, m.Div, good man. He brought up the possibility of moving my care onto the "medication management" phase. Basically, I'd no longer be in counseling and my visits with the doctor would be down to every 3 months. In addition, some of those quarterly visits wouldn't be with the doctor; they'd be with a nurse who I guess/assume would chat me up and then get the prescriptions over to my pharmacy, somehow.

I'm not real gung-ho about giving up on counseling, but its supposed to happen eventually, right? I guess its because I like the idea of human interaction and such with my mental health. But...its community mental health, I'm stable, my living situation is as close to ideal as I can get, and I've made progress, so...there it is. There's also the cost issues, of course. Disability covers limited talk therapy sessions. The emphasis is on drug-treatment, which makes sense since people on disability are more severely ill/disabled, so the pills are a bigger part of the solution.

This is a Praise Report. My relationship with my parents is also improving, more so with my mother than with my father. I don't know. My dad and I weren't close at all when I was growing up, I was horrible to him, now I"m different and all, and...yeah. I love him, he loves me, but there's always been a distance there, and I don't know if we'll ever be all that close. To be honest, my father is something of a mystery to me. He's a good man, but I don't think I truly --know-- him, and I think I've only recently begun to genuinely --know-- my mother, as a person, not just as mama.

OK. So, its a praise report and prayer request, mixed together, as usual. I Praise God (!!!!) for His goodness and His mercy, compassion, even straight up pity (godly pity is perfectly valid, I think). At the same time, I pray that I can genuinely get to know and appreciate my father and have a meaningful relationship with him, outside of what he can provide for me.

Oh, and that's another thing. Its like, I want to know my dad, I want to spend time with my dad, always have, but he's always been focused on providing and then he gets upset because he thinks that's all I want/need him for, I think. We're not really big on talking about this kind of stuff in my family, plus I'm blessed that they'll even have me here at my age and do all the good things they've done and are doing for me, but...yeah. I don't just want him for stuff he does and things he gives me, but that's what he always focused on doing and now its what he thinks I'm after with him, when really I --do-- care about him, I just don't --know-- him, never really have.

OK. Finished, for now. Please pray. Thanks.

Great news! I will lift up your relationship with your dad.

 

[AirDancer]

Thanks only to Christ, of course.

I'm a work-in-progress (saved all of 4 years). For now, I live off disability and my (loving, kind, generous, long suffering, hard working) parents. Not ideal, but it is...what it is. According to my current counselor, I've had some kinda mental problem for most of my life, it was intense for about 10 years, and now I'm stable-ish.

Now, thanks to Christ, I get along well with my parents, even though I was a horrible son from 15+/- on. Mental problems undoubtedly played a role, but there were character problems, too. I was just...not a good person, plus I had problems, plus...plus...plus...and I didn't have any redeeming qualities, which is sad all around.

Anyway, the community mental health clinic I go to has most people with a counselor and a psychiatrist. For a while there, I was seeing the counselor every 2 weeks and the psychiatrist every 4 weeks, which is about as intense as these sorts of clinics can get.

I like my counselor. Born Again Christian, m.Div, good man. He brought up the possibility of moving my care onto the "medication management" phase. Basically, I'd no longer be in counseling and my visits with the doctor would be down to every 3 months. In addition, some of those quarterly visits wouldn't be with the doctor; they'd be with a nurse who I guess/assume would chat me up and then get the prescriptions over to my pharmacy, somehow.

I'm not real gung-ho about giving up on counseling, but its supposed to happen eventually, right? I guess its because I like the idea of human interaction and such with my mental health. But...its community mental health, I'm stable, my living situation is as close to ideal as I can get, and I've made progress, so...there it is. There's also the cost issues, of course. Disability covers limited talk therapy sessions. The emphasis is on drug-treatment, which makes sense since people on disability are more severely ill/disabled, so the pills are a bigger part of the solution.

This is a Praise Report. My relationship with my parents is also improving, more so with my mother than with my father. I don't know. My dad and I weren't close at all when I was growing up, I was horrible to him, now I"m different and all, and...yeah. I love him, he loves me, but there's always been a distance there, and I don't know if we'll ever be all that close. To be honest, my father is something of a mystery to me. He's a good man, but I don't think I truly --know-- him, and I think I've only recently begun to genuinely --know-- my mother, as a person, not just as mama.

OK. So, its a praise report and prayer request, mixed together, as usual. I Praise God (!!!!) for His goodness and His mercy, compassion, even straight up pity (godly pity is perfectly valid, I think). At the same time, I pray that I can genuinely get to know and appreciate my father and have a meaningful relationship with him, outside of what he can provide for me.

Oh, and that's another thing. Its like, I want to know my dad, I want to spend time with my dad, always have, but he's always been focused on providing and then he gets upset because he thinks that's all I want/need him for, I think. We're not really big on talking about this kind of stuff in my family, plus I'm blessed that they'll even have me here at my age and do all the good things they've done and are doing for me, but...yeah. I don't just want him for stuff he does and things he gives me, but that's what he always focused on doing and now its what he thinks I'm after with him, when really I --do-- care about him, I just don't --know-- him, never really have.

OK. Finished, for now. Please pray. Thanks.

Amen, Christ_empowered !

Something you might consider with regard to your relationship with your Dad: When you're out with your Dad, driving about or even just kicking back & relaxing, ask him what he thought as a teenager where he would be by age 25. Did he always intend to do what he's doing now. If he could travel anywhere, where would that be. (Of course, if you already know the answer to any particular question, you don't have to ask. Or you could take the question further. For example, if he said he would like to go to Ireland, ask him where in particular and why.)

Get to know him as a person. Save up some money, and invite him to spend the afternoon/day with you, your treat. While you're out, at some point, tell him simply: "Dad, I just want you to know I appreciate all you've done for me throughout my life. Your love, your concern, just knowing you're always 'there' for me. Now that I've reached this point in my life, I just want to say 'Thank you' and that I admire and respect you."

Then, if that brings an embarrassed pause, make a comment about what sort of weather the day has brought about.

 

[Pegasus]

Amen, Christ_empowered !

Something you might consider with regard to your relationship with your Dad: When you're out with your Dad, driving about or even just kicking back & relaxing, ask him what he thought as a teenager where he would be by age 25. Did he always intend to do what he's doing now. If he could travel anywhere, where would that be. (Of course, if you already know the answer to any particular question, you don't have to ask. Or you could take the question further. For example, if he said he would like to go to Ireland, ask him where in particular and why.)

Get to know him as a person. Save up some money, and invite him to spend the afternoon/day with you, your treat. While you're out, at some point, tell him simply: "Dad, I just want you to know I appreciate all you've done for me throughout my life. Your love, your concern, just knowing you're always 'there' for me. Now that I've reached this point in my life, I just want to say 'Thank you' and that I admire and respect you."

Then, if that brings an embarrassed pause, make a comment about what sort of weather the day has brought about.

Excellent advice. Wish I would have done it earlier in life. But once I was married and had kids and had to pay bills, I immediately had a new found respect for my father. I was embarrassed I did not see it sooner and repented for not giving him the respect he deserved.

 

[AirDancer]

Excellent advice. Wish I would have done it earlier in life. But once I was married and had kids and had to pay bills, I immediately had a new found respect for my father. I was embarrassed I did not see it sooner and repented for not giving him the respect he deserved.

Thank you

Something else I insisted that we do back in my married days: We would spend time with his parents, one to one. Meaning, one time, he would spend time with his dad while I spent time with his mom. Next time, he spent the time with his mom and I spent the time with his dad. The time would include lunch, and then doing something that meant something to the parent.

Most parents enjoy spending casual time with their kids (regardless of age) in a one to one way. And most kids enjoy spending time that way as well. It's a way of not only strengthening the bonds of parent/child, but also further the development of a friendship based on respect.

 

[Christ_empowered]

OK. Finished, for now. Thanks again for the replies+prayers.

 

[AirDancer]

wow. Thanks for all the very helpful, very insightful responses (and the prayers, too, of course...).

My dad's overworked. Its like...well, he worked his whole life for --this--, if that makes sense. Got a 5 year professional undergrad, married my mama, he got his masters and she went up to the PhD, then she got pregnant with me and took a job with a local university, stat.

So...when I was 4/5, my dad got a job with the university, too. Now, he's at the top of his game, nearing the end of his career. Its not just about the $$$ for him, either; its about the challenge, the mastery of new skills+concepts, the people he works with, etc.

I'm happy for him and proud of him, of course. He's all over the place, doing this that and the other things, meetings, public Q+A stuff, etc., and he's definitely working too much, but he loves what he's doing and it shows.

Point is (I have one, I promise...), I have a new found respect for my dad's hard work and his dedication to his job, my mother, me, being an overall stable, decent citizen, etc. I just don't get to talk to him much because he works --so-- much. So does my mother, and her job is all consuming. I mean, its weird. There's all this new technology in the mix, so you'd --think-- : OK, new technology. Job will be easier. Right? Wrong!

Turns out, with the new technology, they're expected to do much, much more, in less time, for not a whole lot more $$$. :-(

Still rambling...I guess the bigger, maybe even biggest, point is that now I genuinely love both my parents, and not just because they protect me+take good care of me. We live close-ish to a small town highway. So, about 15 minutes ago, all kindsa sirens were going off. I was doing school work, thinking "wow. what's that about?," and then the noise stopped.

There's a knock at my door, and its my mother. She said, well..."I'm a mama, and you know I needed to make sure you were here," and for --once-- I said "well, I appreciate you checking on me," and then we made some small talk and she went back upstairs.

I'm 32, but nobody's too old for Christ and His work in our lives. I think that we get to be a normal(ish) family, at long last, even though I was a monster offspring for so long.

OK. Finished, for now. Thanks again for the replies+prayers.

Your Mom sounds like a lot of us Moms in the world. Doesn't matter how old our 'babies' get, we still are concerned. Especially if we hear sirens and there's a chance our 'babies' might be out & about. I found myself doing just that when my youngest was home from university break. Just checking for peace of mind.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Yeah, good mothers are a direct blessing from The Lord, that's for sure. Mine has somehow come to forgive me for...well, for being who I was, pre-Jesus...and we're actually (re)building a solid relationship, which is a miracle.

 

[AirDancer]

Yeah, good mothers are a direct blessing from The Lord, that's for sure. Mine has somehow come to forgive me for...well, for being who I was, pre-Jesus...and we're actually (re)building a solid relationship, which is a miracle.

Something to keep in mind: Loving parents love their off-spring regardless of what tricks or stunts those off-spring pull or try to pull. Doesn't mean we'll automatically trust completely after something serious occurs, but the love doesn't alter. And it's not so much as forgiveness, although I'm sure it's involved in the matter as well, as it is rebuilding the trust.