Teens and their choices in friends

[Nikki]

My 12 year old (she will be 13 in August) has a bff that lives behind us. They are inseparable. Her bff has always been a wonderful girl....Christian, polite, sweet great kid all around that comes from a great family. Well, 2 months ago, she pierced her ear way up high in the cartilage herself. I was shocked that her mom didn't get real mad. Then she's the one that showed my girls that bad webcam website.

So today while DH and I are outside, my 12 year old pierced HER cartilage. She did it herself! I am so furious at her! I told her that I'm beginning to think that her bff is getting a little wild and may be a bad influence. I also told her that I'm going to start limiting their time together. Of course, that really got my daughter upset and she told me "You can't take my friends away from me". Well honey, yes I can actually. BUT I also know that doing that will probably cause her to really rebel.

I know that teens experiment with all kinds of things and that it could be a lot worse, but....UGH! I told her that if her ear gets infected that I'm not taking her to the doctors and that her ear can just fall off. *hmph*

 

[reba]

"taking away " friends might be the right thing to do, it is drastic but you know your kid.... Please replace the time with something real.... like spend the time she would have had with her friend with her for fun.

When i felt punishment was unfair i would comply on the surface and make up for it on the sly...

 

[jasoncran]

hmm it looks like i will have to recon nathan more when he starts this stuff. so far no. he has told me that when he went to the puberty class the female things bothered him.:biglol

its funny and good but i know that it will change as he will sooner or later like them. i did have to ask him if we was well doing what males do with themselves at that age. he denied it.

 

[GojuBrian]

Sounds like things need to be looked at more closely. Do they spend more time at her friends house or yours? At 12yrs old, she is very influential and emotional. I would suggest the time that you allow them to spend be done at your house and not behind closed doors or near a computer.

 

[Nikki]

Sounds like things need to be looked at more closely. Do they spend more time at her friends house or yours? At 12yrs old, she is very influential and emotional. I would suggest the time that you allow them to spend be done at your house and not behind closed doors or near a computer.

They USED to spend all their time here, but they've been spending more time at her friends house. Her friends mom just had a baby and she even admitted that she's so busy with the baby that she knows she's not monitoring her daughter all the time (baby just turned 1 yr old and they have no other kids besides my daughters bff). She said her daughter spends hours in her room with the computer, although they did just remove the computer from her room after the webcam incident.

I don't know why my daughter is rebelling all of a sudden. And talk about emotional. WOW. My hubby just asked her a bit ago if she was going to start spewing green vomit with her head spinning around because she was so angry over the fact that I made her help me with supper (because I found her trying to pierce her ear AGAIN earlier!).

 

[handy]

Maybe it's because I only have one daughter and therefore no basis for comparison... I found that Viola went from being a fairly sweet, if sometimes argumentative and complaintive type to being Linda Blair's evil twin when she went through her tweens...

It's one of the things that will drive me nuts. For instance, I'm cooking dinner...
Me: Steve, will you take out the trash for me? "Sure thing Sweetheart!"

Thomas, would you please feed the dogs? "All right, Mom."

"Viola, will you set the table, please?" "WHAT!!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE!!!!!

Garrrrr, that drivers me nuts!

It is concerning about the time spent at the bff's with too little supervision. It sounds as if the mom is acknowledging the problems, so you could probably suggest that the girls can spend more of their time at your house (win-win.. the girls get to spend time together, you get to keep an eye on things and she gets a break with the new baby)...

Meanwhile, just stick to your guns, Mom.... My sisters assure me that they do begin to get better at around 16 or so, if you don't let them get out of hand.

I just keep telling myself that over and over...

 

[jasoncran]

oh lovely, this cute baby will do that? hmm i think i shall ready my shotgun. baseball and well train up on proper gun aiming to kill that boy who think hes has a chance to have sex with my daughter before marriage.:yes