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[ Testimony ] Testimony from a stubborn man

Paul1965

Paul1965

Member
I'm sorry in advance for the length of my testimony, but it needs to be told in full to show what a selfish and stubborn person I've been.
Even now this brings great feelings of shame to me,but at the same time an awesome feeling of gratitude and love for our Heavenly Father and our Saviour.

My relationship with our Lord and Saviour had always been a rocky one. If things didn't go my way, I'd turn my back on Him or worse, blame Him for the poor choices I made in my life. My prayers were always selfish and centered on me and what I wanted. If He didn't answer by giving me what I asked for, I'd again turn my back on Him saying that He didn't exist. (Yes I know what a fool I was)

After my marriage broke up I started drinking to extreme excess complete with absolute blackouts of time lost. The people around me tried to help guide me but again I didn't want to know. After 36 years of life without more than a speeding ticket, I was jailed for robbing the bar I had been drinking at all day. Long story short I plead guilty immediately and was sentenced to three years in a maximum security facility. (the judge took into account the fact I'd never done anything "criminal" in my life...I think he was wrong,because my treatment and rejection of God and our Christ to me is a criminal act)
In jail, I met a guy who was in for embezzelment (I think) and we became friends.
He convinced me to go with him to Sunday service. I was reluctant but went along because "I've got nowhere else to go"
Once inside, I got to see first hand the love of God and Jesus and the power of that love. Guys who on the outside would have been absolute enemies (rival gang members and skinheads and aborigines) all sitting together sharing God's word. These guys had the love inside them that I had lacked all of my life.

After that first Sunday I became a regular,never missing a Sunday service and reading the Bible the pastor had given me every day. I even went when I'd had my finger crushed in the metal shop guillotine. Such was my hunger to know HIM. For real this time,not as a quasi-provider for my whims. After six months I was Baptised in jail having finally let Him into my heart. I was released for good behaviour after serving 1 year exactly.

I'd be lying if I said that it's been a smooth road since then, it hasn't, my daughter died at thirteen, my second wife took me for every cent i had (she was married and I didnt know. While I was working on the oil rigs, her Thai husband was staying in my home until the day before I got back each time...I came home early one time and.....you can guess the rest) I lived below the Thai poverty line, not knowing what the next day would bring, sometime thinking about death and the relief it would bring, but all the time, God was there literally providing me with my daily bread through family and friends. Finally I started to get my confidence back and found work teaching English as a second language.
Since then the Lord has helped me go from strength to strength and held me up in my many moments of weakness.
Most recently I asked that HE help me to finally give up the booze completely and for good and show me the way back to a healthy lifestyle to be more pleasing to Him. He answered immediately. Now after 30 years of alcohol use and abuse I am now coming up on 100 days alcohol free and don't even think about a drink.
God didn't help me to defeat my demon alcohol, He did it for me! I'm too weak and take no credit for it. God and Jesus and their love for me TOTALLY destroyed that demon so that it has absolutely no hold over me. I've gotten back into my physical training as well as my spiritual education as I wait for Him to show me what His will is for me and my wife.
There's not a day goes by that i don't praise Him, thank Him, Worship, Love and adore Him for all that he has done for me. I know that through His love I can and will do everything he guides me to. He is my God, my Saviour, my Rock, my Teacher, my Guide, my Friend and I love Him completely.
paul
.
 
Hi Paul,

When you hear of someone who has been in jail, the thought is, 'This person must be a bad person.' But I have come to think that those who have been caught in their crimes are being blessed. If a person has committed a serious crime and wasn't caught, would we think that person would come to repentance?; they might. I think when a crime is done, and the person is caught, it is the best thing to happen to him. Unfortunately, not everyone comes to faith as you have. Because I haven't been caught or committed a serious crime defined by our penal system, I am no less guilty of high treason before God, and by His grace, I'll be transformed just as you have. I look forward to singing God's praises with you some day face to face. Thank you for your testimony.

- Davies
 
Paul1965 said:
I'm sorry in advance for the length of my testimony, but it needs to be told in full to show what a selfish and stubborn person I've been.
Even now this brings great feelings of shame to me,but at the same time an awesome feeling of gratitude and love for our Heavenly Father and our Saviour.

My relationship with our Lord and Saviour had always been a rocky one. If things didn't go my way, I'd turn my back on Him or worse, blame Him for the poor choices I made in my life. My prayers were always selfish and centered on me and what I wanted. If He didn't answer by giving me what I asked for, I'd again turn my back on Him saying that He didn't exist. (Yes I know what a fool I was)

After my marriage broke up I started drinking to extreme excess complete with absolute blackouts of time lost. The people around me tried to help guide me but again I didn't want to know. After 36 years of life without more than a speeding ticket, I was jailed for robbing the bar I had been drinking at all day. Long story short I plead guilty immediately and was sentenced to three years in a maximum security facility. (the judge took into account the fact I'd never done anything "criminal" in my life...I think he was wrong,because my treatment and rejection of God and our Christ to me is a criminal act)
In jail, I met a guy who was in for embezzelment (I think) and we became friends.
He convinced me to go with him to Sunday service. I was reluctant but went along because "I've got nowhere else to go"
Once inside, I got to see first hand the love of God and Jesus and the power of that love. Guys who on the outside would have been absolute enemies (rival gang members and skinheads and aborigines) all sitting together sharing God's word. These guys had the love inside them that I had lacked all of my life.

After that first Sunday I became a regular,never missing a Sunday service and reading the Bible the pastor had given me every day. I even went when I'd had my finger crushed in the metal shop guillotine. Such was my hunger to know HIM. For real this time,not as a quasi-provider for my whims. After six months I was Baptised in jail having finally let Him into my heart. I was released for good behaviour after serving 1 year exactly.

I'd be lying if I said that it's been a smooth road since then, it hasn't, my daughter died at thirteen, my second wife took me for every cent i had (she was married and I didnt know. While I was working on the oil rigs, her Thai husband was staying in my home until the day before I got back each time...I came home early one time and.....you can guess the rest) I lived below the Thai poverty line, not knowing what the next day would bring, sometime thinking about death and the relief it would bring, but all the time, God was there literally providing me with my daily bread through family and friends. Finally I started to get my confidence back and found work teaching English as a second language.
Since then the Lord has helped me go from strength to strength and held me up in my many moments of weakness.
Most recently I asked that HE help me to finally give up the booze completely and for good and show me the way back to a healthy lifestyle to be more pleasing to Him. He answered immediately. Now after 30 years of alcohol use and abuse I am now coming up on 100 days alcohol free and don't even think about a drink.
God didn't help me to defeat my demon alcohol, He did it for me! I'm too weak and take no credit for it. God and Jesus and their love for me TOTALLY destroyed that demon so that it has absolutely no hold over me. I've gotten back into my physical training as well as my spiritual education as I wait for Him to show me what His will is for me and my wife.
There's not a day goes by that i don't praise Him, thank Him, Worship, Love and adore Him for all that he has done for me. I know that through His love I can and will do everything he guides me to. He is my God, my Saviour, my Rock, my Teacher, my Guide, my Friend and I love Him completely.
paul
.
Click to expand...

thanks for sharing Paul, continue to follow the Lord again welcome to CF.net.
 
That is a wonderful testimony Brother Paul. God is so faithful, and He never leaves us without witness; praise His name. I'm thankful you came our way and pray you are blessed here in your time with us in Jesus' name.
:waving
 
Thank You, Davies, Gods_gift and Eugene, I'm also glad to have found a decent forum where I can share experiences of His Grace and awesome power. Today marks 90days alcohol free and an ever increasing sense of well being and self discipline none of which would be possible for me without Him.
Blessings to all
 
Thanks Mathias, it's great to hear from others who have received Grace from our Lord inside and received His help to change our lives.
Blessings
 
Last edited by a moderator:
What a wonderful testimony. Thank you for sharing. Each of your roads to Christ are different and often full of pain. I commend your belief that God helped you to overcome alcohol. I had 5 brothers and 3 of them have at one point or another have struggled with alcohol abuse. One of these brothers also found Jesus in prison. Another brother continues to go to AA and attends church regularly, though struggles with wanting to drink.
God bless you as you continue to leave the alcohol behind. :pray
 
Thanks Sue,
yes it is all Praise to God and I'm now coming up to 6 months (162 days today) without a drop. (except for cooked in some Christmas cake from my big sis). I pray for your brothers as they too battle the booze as I know that for some it is harder than for others. It's also very uplifting when I hear of others who have accepted Jesus in prison. Although that is a bleak and dark place to be, the Lord uses it to give us the long overdue kick in the pants we have needed. Some listen, some don't. Praise Jesus that your brother is one of those who has listened.
Your brother who's going to AA and church, they are two of the best places to be but most importantly, is your family's continued support. Your love and celebration of each milestone will go a long way to helping him. As an example, it gives me great satisfaction and warmth to hear Thayanee proudly tell her family and friends how long I've not had a drink for. just seeing her smile about it, is God's reward to me for keeping my word to HIM when I asked for His help.
I will say that I was very blessed. I say that because, God, took the cravings away within a week. He totally kicked alcohol out of my life and delivered me from my demon. I keep a tally and mark every day off. As the time goes by I'm still amazed that I've never swayed off the straight path once. New year was a worrying time because, if there's a time when Thailand hits the booze,its the new year period, day and night for four days and Thayanee's family uphold that tradition. I never even contemplated it once. PRAISE OUR LORD!
Again Sue I will pray for your family that God blesses you allwith deliverance.
Blessings
Paul
 
Paul, congratulations on 162 days. You are God's Love and Light shining to others that He is Mighty and can heal all things if we believe, trust and obey. I know it can be difficult seeing others drink (New Year's) Praise God for the strength He continues to give you. One day at a time. In Christ, peace and love.
 
SueL637 said:
Paul, congratulations on 162 days. You are God's Love and Light shining to others that He is Mighty and can heal all things if we believe, trust and obey. I know it can be difficult seeing others drink (New Year's) Praise God for the strength He continues to give you. One day at a time. In Christ, peace and love.
Click to expand...

Hi Sue (not seen you for a while).

So did you also ever go through the experience of giving up stuff like either alcohol or smoking? I was never into alcohol, but I did give up smoking (or maybe you didn't give up completely - or whatever).

Blessings.
 
Hi Farouk, Reba and Sue,
thank you for your support.
Yes Farouk, best thing I've done in a long time, although as I said I really take no credit for it. If God hadn't given me the strength, it would have been another failed attempt is my guess.
Now,to cut back on coffee, quit smoking, stop swearing about the drivers here, curb my temper......one day, one thing at a time, I'm so glad our Lord is patient.
 
Paul1965 said:
I'm sorry in advance for the length of my testimony, but it needs to be told in full to show what a selfish and stubborn person I've been.
Even now this brings great feelings of shame to me,but at the same time an awesome feeling of gratitude and love for our Heavenly Father and our Saviour.

My relationship with our Lord and Saviour had always been a rocky one. If things didn't go my way, I'd turn my back on Him or worse, blame Him for the poor choices I made in my life. My prayers were always selfish and centered on me and what I wanted. If He didn't answer by giving me what I asked for, I'd again turn my back on Him saying that He didn't exist. (Yes I know what a fool I was)

After my marriage broke up I started drinking to extreme excess complete with absolute blackouts of time lost. The people around me tried to help guide me but again I didn't want to know. After 36 years of life without more than a speeding ticket, I was jailed for robbing the bar I had been drinking at all day. Long story short I plead guilty immediately and was sentenced to three years in a maximum security facility. (the judge took into account the fact I'd never done anything "criminal" in my life...I think he was wrong,because my treatment and rejection of God and our Christ to me is a criminal act)
In jail, I met a guy who was in for embezzelment (I think) and we became friends.
He convinced me to go with him to Sunday service. I was reluctant but went along because "I've got nowhere else to go"
Once inside, I got to see first hand the love of God and Jesus and the power of that love. Guys who on the outside would have been absolute enemies (rival gang members and skinheads and aborigines) all sitting together sharing God's word. These guys had the love inside them that I had lacked all of my life.

After that first Sunday I became a regular,never missing a Sunday service and reading the Bible the pastor had given me every day. I even went when I'd had my finger crushed in the metal shop guillotine. Such was my hunger to know HIM. For real this time,not as a quasi-provider for my whims. After six months I was Baptised in jail having finally let Him into my heart. I was released for good behaviour after serving 1 year exactly.

I'd be lying if I said that it's been a smooth road since then, it hasn't, my daughter died at thirteen, my second wife took me for every cent i had (she was married and I didnt know. While I was working on the oil rigs, her Thai husband was staying in my home until the day before I got back each time...I came home early one time and.....you can guess the rest) I lived below the Thai poverty line, not knowing what the next day would bring, sometime thinking about death and the relief it would bring, but all the time, God was there literally providing me with my daily bread through family and friends. Finally I started to get my confidence back and found work teaching English as a second language.
Since then the Lord has helped me go from strength to strength and held me up in my many moments of weakness.
Most recently I asked that HE help me to finally give up the booze completely and for good and show me the way back to a healthy lifestyle to be more pleasing to Him. He answered immediately. Now after 30 years of alcohol use and abuse I am now coming up on 100 days alcohol free and don't even think about a drink.
God didn't help me to defeat my demon alcohol, He did it for me! I'm too weak and take no credit for it. God and Jesus and their love for me TOTALLY destroyed that demon so that it has absolutely no hold over me. I've gotten back into my physical training as well as my spiritual education as I wait for Him to show me what His will is for me and my wife.
There's not a day goes by that i don't praise Him, thank Him, Worship, Love and adore Him for all that he has done for me. I know that through His love I can and will do everything he guides me to. He is my God, my Saviour, my Rock, my Teacher, my Guide, my Friend and I love Him completely.
paul
.
Click to expand...

Hi Paul! Your testimony was very moving. I don't say this just for show. Many Christians struggle with so many things and a lot of people who think themselves perfect judge a lot. Last year I had the chance to volunteer at a correctional facility and meet many of the guys inside. I congratulate you for being able to follow through with the Christian life even in prison. I have seen only from an outsider's perspective and I was intimidated so I cannot imagine what it must have been like. But at the same time, many of the men I got to know inside were true lovers of God. We even did a skit (God's Chisel from the Skit Guys) and they loved every moment of it and were so happy to have volunteer students teaching them and helping them get ready to face the world. All I can say is congratulations and keep up the good work! Im sure God has great things prepared for you! :)
 
I love how people from all walks of life and backgrounds come together in the Lord, united in Christ and lead by the Holy Spirit. No prejudices, no racism, all one.
Great testimony Paul. May you and your family abound in God's Truth.
 
Beautiful story. God uses those who follow him, but also He uses those who even have their backs on him. That's the power of grace from Him.
 
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