Paul1965
Member
I'm sorry in advance for the length of my testimony, but it needs to be told in full to show what a selfish and stubborn person I've been.
Even now this brings great feelings of shame to me,but at the same time an awesome feeling of gratitude and love for our Heavenly Father and our Saviour.
My relationship with our Lord and Saviour had always been a rocky one. If things didn't go my way, I'd turn my back on Him or worse, blame Him for the poor choices I made in my life. My prayers were always selfish and centered on me and what I wanted. If He didn't answer by giving me what I asked for, I'd again turn my back on Him saying that He didn't exist. (Yes I know what a fool I was)
After my marriage broke up I started drinking to extreme excess complete with absolute blackouts of time lost. The people around me tried to help guide me but again I didn't want to know. After 36 years of life without more than a speeding ticket, I was jailed for robbing the bar I had been drinking at all day. Long story short I plead guilty immediately and was sentenced to three years in a maximum security facility. (the judge took into account the fact I'd never done anything "criminal" in my life...I think he was wrong,because my treatment and rejection of God and our Christ to me is a criminal act)
In jail, I met a guy who was in for embezzelment (I think) and we became friends.
He convinced me to go with him to Sunday service. I was reluctant but went along because "I've got nowhere else to go"
Once inside, I got to see first hand the love of God and Jesus and the power of that love. Guys who on the outside would have been absolute enemies (rival gang members and skinheads and aborigines) all sitting together sharing God's word. These guys had the love inside them that I had lacked all of my life.
After that first Sunday I became a regular,never missing a Sunday service and reading the Bible the pastor had given me every day. I even went when I'd had my finger crushed in the metal shop guillotine. Such was my hunger to know HIM. For real this time,not as a quasi-provider for my whims. After six months I was Baptised in jail having finally let Him into my heart. I was released for good behaviour after serving 1 year exactly.
I'd be lying if I said that it's been a smooth road since then, it hasn't, my daughter died at thirteen, my second wife took me for every cent i had (she was married and I didnt know. While I was working on the oil rigs, her Thai husband was staying in my home until the day before I got back each time...I came home early one time and.....you can guess the rest) I lived below the Thai poverty line, not knowing what the next day would bring, sometime thinking about death and the relief it would bring, but all the time, God was there literally providing me with my daily bread through family and friends. Finally I started to get my confidence back and found work teaching English as a second language.
Since then the Lord has helped me go from strength to strength and held me up in my many moments of weakness.
Most recently I asked that HE help me to finally give up the booze completely and for good and show me the way back to a healthy lifestyle to be more pleasing to Him. He answered immediately. Now after 30 years of alcohol use and abuse I am now coming up on 100 days alcohol free and don't even think about a drink.
God didn't help me to defeat my demon alcohol, He did it for me! I'm too weak and take no credit for it. God and Jesus and their love for me TOTALLY destroyed that demon so that it has absolutely no hold over me. I've gotten back into my physical training as well as my spiritual education as I wait for Him to show me what His will is for me and my wife.
There's not a day goes by that i don't praise Him, thank Him, Worship, Love and adore Him for all that he has done for me. I know that through His love I can and will do everything he guides me to. He is my God, my Saviour, my Rock, my Teacher, my Guide, my Friend and I love Him completely.
paul
.
Even now this brings great feelings of shame to me,but at the same time an awesome feeling of gratitude and love for our Heavenly Father and our Saviour.
My relationship with our Lord and Saviour had always been a rocky one. If things didn't go my way, I'd turn my back on Him or worse, blame Him for the poor choices I made in my life. My prayers were always selfish and centered on me and what I wanted. If He didn't answer by giving me what I asked for, I'd again turn my back on Him saying that He didn't exist. (Yes I know what a fool I was)
After my marriage broke up I started drinking to extreme excess complete with absolute blackouts of time lost. The people around me tried to help guide me but again I didn't want to know. After 36 years of life without more than a speeding ticket, I was jailed for robbing the bar I had been drinking at all day. Long story short I plead guilty immediately and was sentenced to three years in a maximum security facility. (the judge took into account the fact I'd never done anything "criminal" in my life...I think he was wrong,because my treatment and rejection of God and our Christ to me is a criminal act)
In jail, I met a guy who was in for embezzelment (I think) and we became friends.
He convinced me to go with him to Sunday service. I was reluctant but went along because "I've got nowhere else to go"
Once inside, I got to see first hand the love of God and Jesus and the power of that love. Guys who on the outside would have been absolute enemies (rival gang members and skinheads and aborigines) all sitting together sharing God's word. These guys had the love inside them that I had lacked all of my life.
After that first Sunday I became a regular,never missing a Sunday service and reading the Bible the pastor had given me every day. I even went when I'd had my finger crushed in the metal shop guillotine. Such was my hunger to know HIM. For real this time,not as a quasi-provider for my whims. After six months I was Baptised in jail having finally let Him into my heart. I was released for good behaviour after serving 1 year exactly.
I'd be lying if I said that it's been a smooth road since then, it hasn't, my daughter died at thirteen, my second wife took me for every cent i had (she was married and I didnt know. While I was working on the oil rigs, her Thai husband was staying in my home until the day before I got back each time...I came home early one time and.....you can guess the rest) I lived below the Thai poverty line, not knowing what the next day would bring, sometime thinking about death and the relief it would bring, but all the time, God was there literally providing me with my daily bread through family and friends. Finally I started to get my confidence back and found work teaching English as a second language.
Since then the Lord has helped me go from strength to strength and held me up in my many moments of weakness.
Most recently I asked that HE help me to finally give up the booze completely and for good and show me the way back to a healthy lifestyle to be more pleasing to Him. He answered immediately. Now after 30 years of alcohol use and abuse I am now coming up on 100 days alcohol free and don't even think about a drink.
God didn't help me to defeat my demon alcohol, He did it for me! I'm too weak and take no credit for it. God and Jesus and their love for me TOTALLY destroyed that demon so that it has absolutely no hold over me. I've gotten back into my physical training as well as my spiritual education as I wait for Him to show me what His will is for me and my wife.
There's not a day goes by that i don't praise Him, thank Him, Worship, Love and adore Him for all that he has done for me. I know that through His love I can and will do everything he guides me to. He is my God, my Saviour, my Rock, my Teacher, my Guide, my Friend and I love Him completely.
paul
.