The kid readiness test :)

[Paul1965]

So, do you think you're ready to have kids? Or maybe you're wondering if your kids or friends are?
Check yourself or them with these 3 simple tests.

The Grocery Store Test:
First, borrow two small animals (goats or pigs work very well) Next, take them with you to the store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

The Dressing Test:
For this test, you'll need to obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Put it into a small bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

The Toy Test:
You'll need a 55-gallon barrel of LEGO or similar sharp edged blocks. Next get your spouse to scatter them all around your house or apartment. Put on a blindfold and walk to the bathroom as if at night, without stepping on any. Remember WHEN , NOT if, you step on one, you cannot scream, after all, you wouldn't want to wake up your kids would you?

 

[AirDancer]

But you have to realize, those who think they're ready for kids typically always believe that their kids won't act up at stores, will pick up their toys, and in general be quite wonderful & clean & cooperative kids.

One of the suggestions I gave to friends who thought my first born was perfect (he was sleeping through the night at age 3 days) and therefore wanted a baby of their own: They had to set their alarm clocks to ring on the hour, every hour, for 2 weeks. (That was to equate with some newborns.) They managed to go along with the plan for 4 nights before the sleep deprivation became an issue to them. (They waited another 3 years before they had a baby)

 

[Vaccine]

LOL@ the sleep deprivation. I wasn't prepared for that. Who knew Lego's hidden under a blanket on the floor could still hurt so bad, it must violate some geneva convention.

I just have two words to add. Crayons, and Magic erasers.

 

[AirDancer]

I wish those Magic erasers were around when my kids were growing up. It wasn't that my kids colored on the walls..... I had a niece who believed that my art pens were hers to use on the walls, the furniture and any fabric at hand. Those Magic erasers are wonderful!

 

[handy]

LOL@ the sleep deprivation. I wasn't prepared for that. Who knew Lego's hidden under a blanket on the floor could still hurt so bad, it must violate some geneva convention.

I just have two words to add. Crayons, and Magic erasers.

lol.... I wonder if any of the other "old timers" around here remember jacks? Not the new, plastic jacks, but good old-fashioned ones made out of metal. Legos are to jacks what dandelion puffs are to cacti. And, sure as shootin' if we couldn't find one when we were putting them away...Dad was going to step on it.

Magic erasers are the bomb!

 

[jasonc]

lol.... I wonder if any of the other "old timers" around here remember jacks? Not the new, plastic jacks, but good old-fashioned ones made out of metal. Legos are to jacks what dandelion puffs are to cacti. And, sure as shootin' if we couldn't find one when we were putting them away...Dad was going to step on it.

Magic erasers are the bomb!

I remember the metal ones.

 

[reba]

 

[reba]

 

[th1b.taylor]

I got up at two, three or four and still left for work at 6:30. Jacks? Did you ever get one in your foot and trying to remove it, silently, in the dark, hop onto the ball and if you haven't, you can not begin to understand where the rest of the jacks end up!

Just as I taught my youngsters and my, just married, granddaughter, one is never ready for children. We just need to remember, it is the provence f God to open and to close the womb. (What a radical idea!) The question is, "Will we obey God?