Hello all,
Let me first say, that since this is a welcome forum. People will probably pay this post no mind and say "Welcome" and move on, and thats fine. If anyone bothers to read this, I thank you.
I was born a Christian and my Facebook status remains that, but I really have a problem. My family was never all that "good" of christians, my father duly so considering the fact he was a wiccan. So while I did technically get baptised and can recite bible verses well, I never really did believe except for maybe a few months at most.
There is another theory however; there is a god, he just chooses not to love me. I was born with mild cerebral palsy. everytime that I look at my shell of a leg and the arm that is queer, I lose more and more of my already dwindling faith because even when things are good for that sweet. bliss moment, I know that my situation could go back to crap tomorrow.
I, when provoked by the right crowd, would say I am an atheist and denounce the lord, but whenever it was the wrong time and place I keep it a secret tucked deep inside because there is no use in trying to be an evangelical atheist.
This would all be fine, well except for the knowledge that I may spend an eternity in hell. This would be but along came "Mary" and changed that. Mary is a good Christian, I mean good, church on Sunday, bible study that night and goes to loads of church events and sing in the choir and whatever else have you. She, of course, values a man's religious beliefs as it is an important trait and I have not told her I am an atheist. I would pretend to be an Christian, until the day I die if it makes her happy. Before you make the wolf in sheep's clothing argument I have the morals to pull it off. I may feel dead inside after a few years, but if it makes her happy I would do it.
Since she came along I look at my atheism as even more of a blight than my CP as though it is a disease. Why am I here? I don't know, call it the work of god if you may or just the confessions of an idiot. Tell me something I don't know....
Let me first say, that since this is a welcome forum. People will probably pay this post no mind and say "Welcome" and move on, and thats fine. If anyone bothers to read this, I thank you.
I was born a Christian and my Facebook status remains that, but I really have a problem. My family was never all that "good" of christians, my father duly so considering the fact he was a wiccan. So while I did technically get baptised and can recite bible verses well, I never really did believe except for maybe a few months at most.
There is another theory however; there is a god, he just chooses not to love me. I was born with mild cerebral palsy. everytime that I look at my shell of a leg and the arm that is queer, I lose more and more of my already dwindling faith because even when things are good for that sweet. bliss moment, I know that my situation could go back to crap tomorrow.
I, when provoked by the right crowd, would say I am an atheist and denounce the lord, but whenever it was the wrong time and place I keep it a secret tucked deep inside because there is no use in trying to be an evangelical atheist.
This would all be fine, well except for the knowledge that I may spend an eternity in hell. This would be but along came "Mary" and changed that. Mary is a good Christian, I mean good, church on Sunday, bible study that night and goes to loads of church events and sing in the choir and whatever else have you. She, of course, values a man's religious beliefs as it is an important trait and I have not told her I am an atheist. I would pretend to be an Christian, until the day I die if it makes her happy. Before you make the wolf in sheep's clothing argument I have the morals to pull it off. I may feel dead inside after a few years, but if it makes her happy I would do it.
Since she came along I look at my atheism as even more of a blight than my CP as though it is a disease. Why am I here? I don't know, call it the work of god if you may or just the confessions of an idiot. Tell me something I don't know....