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This Is Not Love

abide

abide

Member
A few years ago, on our local TV a group of women were describing how they coped with cancer.

One woman stated that she had surgery on one of her breast. She was at the time married for ten years and the husband left her.

I know many will say, he could not deal with that. I believe that her breast to him was what defined her as a woman. When I saw this I asked myself what would have happened had he been diagnosed with diabetes and have to lose a leg. Would he want her to leave him.

I believe that love is a choice. We choose to love someone UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE.

We all must be willing to have the desire to remain with a spouse when difficult time comes. If a spouse becomes ill, and they cannot perform their conjugal duties, should someone leave them. I believe that today people look at life through rose coloured glasses. None of us knows when something may happen.

I have a friend, I met her at my work place. When she was fifteen years old she was waiting at the bus stop for the school bus. A truck came and knocked her over. She LOST BOTH LEGS. This was very traumatic for her since that accident changed her life for ever. What if she was married and she had lost both her feet, could the husband still love and and want to be with her.
We have to ask ourselves whether our love is just dry weather love.

I have a friend who has been suffering with MS for a number of years, life has not been easy for her since the disease at times makes her unable to walk. Her husband has been there for her over the years. I admire him.

When I think of the man who left his wife, just because her breast had gone, I have to ask...Is there anything that can happen that would cause us to abandon our spouse?
 
I stuck with fiancee through liver disease and 4 operations for cancer. people told me I should have broken up with her, but I felt like i was doing the right thing. It was a hard couple of years.

When she got "better" , she left me for another man while I was at work. I came home to a note.

I really don't think love exists in the world any more. Everything is just a series of "hookups"
 
man the conversations i have with my wife over this nature. as a soldier im forced to ponder if i come back in a body bag or paralysed etc.
 
Joe i am living proof that your statement is just not so...

married 48 years.... It has not been a life of ease we have had many tragedies. Mountains to climb.... I can not be the only one.....
 
joethemechanic said:
Even when people are married, they don't take commitment seriously.

Maybe they did "Once upon a time"
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You're saying this as a blanket statement for all people? Does your bitterness know no bounds, that you accuse every couple in the world of not being serious?

Plenty of people take their marital commitments VERY seriously.
 
reba said:
Joe i am living proof that your statement is just not so...

married 48 years.... It has not been a life of ease we have had many tragedies. Mountains to climb.... I can not be the only one.....
Click to expand...

God bless you richly. The serenity of a long married Christian couple is very instructive.
 
joethemechanic said:
Statistics would say you are wrong
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No, it wouldn't. Your posting suggests you don't even know what statistics is. It's the ability to distinguish significance within background noise. What you're arguing is simply raw data. And even then it's wrong, because you have no basis to say that everyone is a certain way, without knowing them minds and hearts of every last person. My bar to pass is much lower; I am asserting only that a decent percentage of couples do so.

I'd suggest there are people on this board who consider themselves and their spouse to be taking their commitments seriously. You have seriously insulted them. Apologize.
 
If you are going to argue about statistics then you should know that the word "decent" has no place in the debate as it is subjective just as the phrase, "Even when people are married, they don't take marriage seriously," shouldn't be used unless he means EVERYONE, which I don't think he does. He is proof against his own aligation that there is no more love as he gave love when the opportunities came.

Abide, you have come closest to my thoughts on love. I am glad you are here, too!
 
DarkHorseRising said:
No, it wouldn't. Your posting suggests you don't even know what statistics is. It's the ability to distinguish significance within background noise. What you're arguing is simply raw data. And even then it's wrong, because you have no basis to say that everyone is a certain way, without knowing them minds and hearts of every last person. My bar to pass is much lower; I am asserting only that a decent percentage of couples do so.

I'd suggest there are people on this board who consider themselves and their spouse to be taking their commitments seriously. You have seriously insulted them. Apologize.
Click to expand...

And everyone here who reads my stuff in the medical/nutrition board knows what I think of medical statistics. I don't believe marriage statistics either.

The definition of statistics should be: A supposed mathematical tool used to convince people that the opposite of what they are experiencing is really the truth. :toofunny

Like I said, I'll stick with my spherical Trigonometry and make sundials, or again electronics equations, or similar. It's more black and white AND.... the results of those calculations are what I actually experience and see. Not something off the wall. :lol:clap
 
With a divorce rate of over 50% I have a hard time believing that there is much commitment out of love going on. How many of those 50% that stay together are just doing so for reasons other than love.
 
The marriage ceremony, certainly for Anglican and Catholic, is for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we parted by death. This is the solemn vow. <?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /><O:P></O:P>
 
it takes the love of god to stay married.im going through some issues my self. sure people have ruined that instution(hate to use that word) but well do we then also get rid of the church(that has been corrupted too) or the goverment?law enforcement? etc and ad infinitum
 
Please don't get me wrong, I really wish marriage vows were taken seriously. But the overwhelming majority of the people I meet don't think that way.
Most people never stop "shopping" they are always in the market for someone "better".

Married or not, Christian or not, they always seem to be looking to "trade up"

It makes me sick to see it. It kills all my hope. It is depressing. But it is what I see out there, and it has been my own experience
 
joethemechanic said:
Please don't get me wrong, I really wish marriage vows were taken seriously. But the overwhelming majority of the people I meet don't think that way.
Most people never stop "shopping" they are always in the market for someone "better".

Married or not, Christian or not, they always seem to be looking to "trade up"

It makes me sick to see it. It kills all my hope. It is depressing. But it is what I see out there, and it has been my own experience
Click to expand...

Depends upon where and how you are looking....

According to the latest (hopefully accurate) stats... the divorce rate amongst Christians is 42%. This is horrible, sad and sinful.

However, it also means that the rate at which Christians remain married is 58%...

These stats are even higher if one factors in how a person views their own faith. People who describe themselves as Christian but rarely if ever go to church have lower divorce rates than the general population. But, Christians who also describe themselves as faithful worship attenders, as well as those who view sharing the gospel with others as important, have an even lower divorce rate... 38%. This is still bad... but it means that those Christians who walk the walk more than just talking the talk remained committed to their marriages at the rate of 62%, a solid majority no matter how you look at it.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2011-03-14-divorce-christians_N.htm
 
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