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To make a woman happy

Question I ask myself is, what would that woman do if the once rich young man ends up poor after few years?
 
Obadiah said:
I was just thinking back on a sermon I heard a few years ago. The pastor was also a psychology major when he was in school, he's a very good teacher (would have probably made a great college professor) and was very rational and truthful in all of his sermons. (Yes, I actually heard every sermon he ever preached.) The subject of this sermon was dating among young adult Christians. He researched all kinds of polls and studies that were done and how the Bible instructed us. What I am remembering, and one thing that stood out and kind of surprised me at the time, was that while the number one requirement of Christian women (he was talking about active, believing Christian women, not just those who attended church sometimes) was that the man must be a Christian. The surprise was that after that, and VERY close behind was that he must have a job that was good enough to give her support and security. In other words, he had to be making enough money to give her money. So I think generally speaking there isn't really a whole lot of difference between Christian women and secular women on this subject. He emphasized several times that if you are a Christian man and want to date a Christian woman, GET A JOB!
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You're scaring Free Obadiah.

Let me explain the difference between wanting money and wanting to be supported.

A woman would like to be supported so she could be what God meant her to be.
A wife, a mother, a homemaker. You know, a house is not a home. Someone has to make a home. This doesn't seem to me to me to be so true anymore.

So I worked. When the time came I stayed home and did the above. All was well. I was supported. I was able to do what I thought was important to do.

Wanting money is just greed. It goes beyond the above. It's wanting some kind of status and needing material things. This is not a healthy way to be and usually people like this are very superficial. Which is why there are problems in this type of relationship.

Material things are great. I'd rather have them than not have them. But they shouldn't be necessary for emotional well-being. It's a biblical principal. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God. The love of money is the root of all evil. The LOVE of money, NOT money.

So are reba and Angel and I the only girls on this forum??

Wondering
 
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Jethro Bodine said:
Here, I got a siggy for you:
"while I was still searching but not finding-- I found one upright man among a thousand, but not one upright woman among them all." (Ecclesiastes 7:28 NIV)
:lol
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Don't start trouble Jethro!!
There must be at least ONE upright woman -
Guess you'll have to keep on searching!
LOL

W
 
What do you mean by "give her money"?

I have a debt. I would love for it to be cleared.
.... but if I met a guy and he just paid it in full just like that...
I'd either feel really bad for exploiting him, or suspicious of his motives. Or both.

If the man believes the wife should stay at home and not work, then yes, he must give her money ... to pay for food, clothes and other stuff that is spent in a household + electricity, maybe rent etc etc.
 
wondering said:
Don't start trouble Jethro!!
There must be at least ONE upright woman -
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Who's making trouble? I'm simply sharing the scriptures. :lol

We can all laugh because the entire world is where God has made the observation that Christ is the one upright man among all of us not so upright 'women'. Capire?
 
Jethro Bodine said:
Who's making trouble? I'm simply sharing the scriptures. :lol

We can all laugh because the entire world is where God has made the observation that Christ is the one upright man among all of us not so upright 'women'. Capire?
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Capisco Jethro.
(just kidding, as you must know).


W
 
wwjd_kilden said:
What do you mean by "give her money"?

I have a debt. I would love for it to be cleared.
.... but if I met a guy and he just paid it in full just like that...
I'd either feel really bad for exploiting him, or suspicious of his motives. Or both.

If the man believes the wife should stay at home and not work, then yes, he must give her money ... to pay for food, clothes and other stuff that is spent in a household + electricity, maybe rent etc etc.
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Kilden
You must be a young woman.
You have a young woman's idea.

A husband doesn't GIVE his wife money,
they SHARE the money that comes into the home.

A wife is NOT an employee.

See?
 
Angel said:
It might be uncomfortable, but if they love each other and trust God they'd get over it and accept it.
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We all know this is good and the way it should be, but men who's eyes have been enlightened by the grace of God know the woman who will love her husband over money and 'get over it' is a rare gem indeed. So rare it caused Solomon to say what he did about the lack of an upright woman in 1000. I wonder if the 1000 he's speaking of are his 700 wives and 300 concubines? But we know Solomon could not be the one upright man, lol.

Men, the best way to identify the woman to marry who will be happy and content is to become in character what you want your wife to be. That way you'll recognize her if/when you meet her and you will not be deceived. As they say, it takes a good man to know a good woman.
 
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wondering said:
A wife is NOT an employee.
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Married women would be profoundly happy if they just let their husbands be the leader, just like an employee lets the boss be the leader. Any manager will tell you it is the diligent, submissive employee that gets the special favors and perks. Women can learn from this. But it will take the courage of faith to accept that truth and walk in it:

"1In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;6just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear." (1 Peter 3:1-6 NASB)

The reason women won't do this is because they are afraid for themselves. I get that. But God wants all of us to submit to his ordained order of authority. Men have to do that, too, in the workplace. We all have the temptation to be control freaks to some degree or another and do things out of God's order of authority to protect ourselves. I will say it does seem to be a special challenge and temptation for women to want to do that. Maybe that is what God was getting at when he said "your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16 NASB).

What is the way a woman can make herself absolutely beautiful to her husband so he'll melt in her hands? Submit to him, like how an employee submits to the boss. Not with an attitude, but lovingly. Do that with the right man and you'll be writing your own romance novel right in your own home.
 
Classik said:
Question I ask myself is, what would that woman do if the once rich young man ends up poor after few years?
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Whatever the reason, or reasons, you married your spouse--money, sex, status, friendship, romance--no matter how good and right they were, if those reasons disappear later you will be faced with the temptation to leave them. Plain and simple truth about human beings. That's because human love is conditioned on what the object of your love does for you.

But it is the love of God in a person that is ultimately the only thing that will keep a disappointed spouse in a marriage. That's because God's kind of love is not conditioned on what pleasantry it gets in return for itself, but rather desires the well being of the other person, apart from any consideration of what it gets in return. That kind of love, that desire for the other person's good, can only operate in us when we are filled and overwhelmed with the presence of God's Spirit in us. It's not a head knowledge thing. It's something you experience. That's why it's so important that we always be filled with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18 NASB). Just being sealed with God's Spirit in salvation is not enough to love as God loves. You must have that Spirit rising up in and overflowing out of you to love others with God's unconditional 'others' centered love.
 
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Jethro Bodine said:
We all know this is good and the way it should be, but men who's eyes have been enlightened by the grace of God know the woman who will love her husband over money and 'get over it' is a rare gem indeed. So rare it caused Solomon to say what he did about the lack of an upright woman in 1000. I wonder if the 1000 he's speaking of are his 700 wives and 300 concubines? But we know Solomon could not be the one upright man, lol.

Men, the best way to identify the woman to marry who will be happy and content is to become in character what you want your wife to be. That way you'll recognize her if/when you meet her and you will not be deceived. As they say, it takes a good man to know a good woman.
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Funny Jethro,
I tell girls exactly what you're saying in your second paragraph.
My cousin's daughter was complaining to me when she was about 20 about how she's a serious person and would like a serious guy. I tried telling her in a nice way to dress more conservatively, if you know what I mean. Of course she was attracting what she didn't want! Society gives strong messages, ads, etc. - it's not easy to go against all of society and hold to your own character and ideas. In the long run, it's worth it.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
Married women would be profoundly happy if they just let their husbands be the leader, just like an employee lets the boss be the leader. Any manager will tell you it is the diligent, submissive employee that gets the special favors and perks. Women can learn from this. But it will take the courage of faith to accept that truth and walk in it:

"1In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;6just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear." (1 Peter 3:1-6 NASB)

The reason women won't do this is because they are afraid for themselves. I get that. But God wants all of us to submit to his ordained order of authority. Men have to do that, too, in the workplace. We all have the temptation to be control freaks to some degree or another and do things out of God's order of authority to protect ourselves. I will say it does seem to be a special challenge and temptation for women to want to do that. Maybe that is what God was getting at when he said "your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16 NASB).

What is the way a woman can make herself absolutely beautiful to her husband so he'll melt in her hands? Submit to him, like how an employee submits to the boss. Not with an attitude, but lovingly. Do that with the right man and you'll be writing your own romance novel right in your own home.
Click to expand...

I hope you understood my post. Wives shouldn't be "paid" like an employee. That's all I meant.

My generation taught the next one down not to depend on men for anything. Money, emotional support, etc. Look, from this thread alone, where it's taken us. I didn't do this, BTW. I think we need to depend on each other for everything. I don't have a problem with this. Too much independence is not good. Why did God create Eve anyway? So they could just walk through the garden and each do their own thing? I don't think so.

it took women a couple of generations but they did come to understand that women's lib turned them into slaves. Now they have to do it all since men aren't really cut out for housework and this 50/50 business is a joke. It's more like 90/10 depending on what needs to get done. The garden is 90/10 him, the house is 90/10 me. 50/50 causes frustration. Everyone is tired, everyone is resentful of what they have to do.

This is complicated. I'm not saying women should be barefoot and pregnant all their life. But I do believe in roles. But the role of a wife is not to be an employee, it's to be a wife.

Being submissive is okay - as long as the husband really loves his wife a lot. Otherwise it could be troublesome. You say women should "learn" to be submissive. That wouldn't be honest and it would be difficult to maintain a learned attitude. It should be more of a character trait, and that trait has been removed by our modern society.

In keeping with this thread: Are women more happy today? (rhetorical of course).

Such serious talk!
 
wondering said:
You say women should "learn" to be submissive. That wouldn't be honest and it would be difficult to maintain a learned attitude. It should be more of a character trait, and that trait has been removed by our modern society.
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I'm saying that trait only comes from an experiential relationship with the Holy Spirit. Learn how to do that.

Men who are doing that--learning how to develop godly character traits through an experiential relationship with the Holy Spirit--can then recognize a woman who is doing that. Ditto for women looking for a man.
 
wondering said:
In keeping with this thread: Are women more happy today? (rhetorical of course).
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Honestly, in terms of worldly desires, 'yes'. In terms of true happiness, the kind that comes from knowing and serving God, 'no'. They're farther away from that than ever before.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
Honestly, in terms of worldly desires, 'yes'. In terms of true happiness, the kind that comes from knowing and serving God, 'no'. They're farther away from that than ever before.
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I don't see too much happiness even in a worldly way.
They expect a lot. They don't get it. Always searching for something better.
They'll tell you they want a strong man but there aren't too many around. Isn't this ironic?
And yes, God is farther away than ever.

W
 
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