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Trying to find my way back

L

lostfor2long

Member
Hello all. I am very very lost .
I was so close with God in my youth.even thought about becoming a priest but then it all fell apart.idk why but I developed a hatred for Him and all that was good.went
Into total evil and drugs and sins,so many sins.now I'm 41 and I am in total remorse and I think I hear Jesus calling me to come back but after all this time all I feel is regret and pain
 
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Dear lostfor2long, welcome to our Christian fellowship. It is the trials in our lives that bring us home to our Father that has been waiting for us all the time. I don't know if you're familiar with the Prodigal Son we read of in Luke 15:11-32, but it was not until the son became in want that he returned to his Father that rejoiced and had all the provision that son needed.

I wrote the following pamphlet at the URL below I hope will help you know for sure who you are in Christ. He loves you, will never fail or forsake you (Deut 31:6), and is definitely calling you to be restored to the joy in Him you can experience again. King David said it like this in Psa 51:12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

Salvation with Security – 1, 2, 3
http://www.christianforums.net/Fell...ds/salvation-with-security-parts-1-2-3.52236/
May God richly bless you in Jesus' name. :wave2
 
Eugene said:
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Dear lostfor2long, welcome to our Christian fellowship. It is the trials in our lives that bring us home to our Father that has been waiting for us all the time. I don't know if you're familiar with the Prodigal Son we read of in Luke 15:11-32, but it was not until the son became in want that he returned to his Father that rejoiced and had all the provision that son needed.

I wrote the following pamphlet at the URL below I hope will help you know for sure who you are in Christ. He loves you, will never fail or forsake you (Deut 31:6), and is definitely calling you to be restored to the joy in Him you can experience again. King David said it like this in Psa 51:12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

Salvation with Security – 1, 2, 3
http://www.christianforums.net/Fell...ds/salvation-with-security-parts-1-2-3.52236/
May God richly bless you in Jesus' name. :wave2
Click to expand...
Thank you so much .rereading a lot of what I studied in my teens seems to have more meaning now that I've lived such horrid life of sin.i am still in transition it feels like.looking back I can't believe I behaved the way I
Did. I do trust in Jesus love and sacrifice for me yet the pain n remorse is almost overwhelming . Strange thing is,I was numb and without a conscience for
So long until I started seeing the brutal beheadings,burning,drowning
And rape and murder of Christians every day by the Muslims .that woke
Me up and I began to feel their pain and now I'm back from death to be a Christian again .ty again . I will reread it again tomorrow
 
Christ_empowered said:
godly sorrow worketh repentance. something like that, anyway....

anyway, welcome to CFnet. I hope you like it here.
Click to expand...
Thank you .im glad
I made it before it was too late. My wife has helped even though we officially got divorced ,we still haven't gotten the papers from the state but she's my wife
And although I pushed for the divorce out of my own selfish ways we vowed to God
 
Mat 18:11 For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.
Mat 18:12 How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?
Mat 18:13 And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.
Mat 18:14 Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.

Praise to the Lord the angels are singing :clap
 
lostfor2long said:
Hello all. I am very very lost .
I was so close with God in my youth.even thought about becoming a priest but then it all fell apart.idk why but I developed a hatred for Him and all that was good.went
Into total evil and drugs and sins,so many sins.now I'm 41 and I am in total remorse and I think I hear Jesus calling me to come back but after all this time all I feel is regret and pain
Click to expand...
Have you read Luke 15:1-7?
How about Luke 15:8-10?
Or my favorite, Luke 15:11-32?
 
lostfor2long said:
Hello all. I am very very lost .
I was so close with God in my youth.even thought about becoming a priest but then it all fell apart.idk why but I developed a hatred for Him and all that was good.went
Into total evil and drugs and sins,so many sins.now I'm 41 and I am in total remorse and I think I hear Jesus calling me to come back but after all this time all I feel is regret and pain
Click to expand...
Hi lost, Sin is fun....for a season, but as I heard someone say, "you wanted to dance, Now you have to pay for the music. Anyone who practices sin is not of God, but anyone who is convicted of sin has the Lord. Understand this, being sorry for what you did is not repentance, but being convicted and chastised by the Lord is correction as a son and leads to confession. King David sent his most loyal general into battle, then withdrew his troops so that the General was without protection and was killed so that David could have his wife. Yet Jesus said that King David was a man after His own heart. Read the Psalms of David and you will see why. There is only one thing that causes a man to perish, and one thing only, and that is to reject Gods grace in Jesus The Christ. And thinking about becoming a priest is self willed, You don't join, we are called and all gifts are given by the sovereign Holy Spirit of God (1 Cor. Chapter 12) If the Lord is calling you, I would listen to Him and let Him cleanse your heart and conscience. We are all former rebels that have been healed by the Lords stripes. Remember this, the container of mans sins is huge, but the container of Gods Grace is much bigger (Rom. 5: 17-21) Satan will fight you on this, but Christ in you will defeat Him thoroughly. Our hope is in Christ's power to bring you to the end spotless, and so should yours be also.

In God's power to accomplish all that He promised. We lift you up in the TRUTH which is sharper than a two edged sword.
In Christ
The Brethren and body of Christ in Unity
 
lostfor2long said:
I haven't read the bible in over 20yrs and I was looking for it since I knew I had one. So far I'm reading scriptures online until I can get a
New bible
Click to expand...
Check out Bible Gateway. There are a number of translations to choose from. I personally like the New King James.

The first seven verses have already been posted but here are the rest of those I referenced.

Luke 15:8-10 NKJV
Or what woman, having ten silver coins, if she loses one coin, does not light a lamp, sweep the house, and search carefully until she finds it? And when she has found it, she calls her friends and neighbors together, saying, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found the piece which I lost!’ Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

Luke 15:11-32 NKJV
Then He said: “A certain man had two sons.And the younger of them said tohisfather, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that fallsto me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you,and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry. Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing.So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.’ But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him. So he answered and said to his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat that I might make merry with my friends. But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours. It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.’”
 
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I was so close with God in my youth.even thought about becoming a priest but then it all fell apart.idk why but I developed a hatred for Him and all that was good.went
Into total evil and drugs and sins,so many sins.now I'm 41 and I am in total remorse and I think I hear Jesus calling me to come back but after all this time all I feel is regret and pain.
.........................
I want to help, but it is possible to load you up so much confusion can appear.

Step 1 remorse / repentance:

Step 2 forgiveness through the work of Jesus Christ on the cross. He bore our sins in his body on the cross. Belief in him is the answer to the remorse, and gives eternal life.

Step 3 the Holy Spirit can enter you and help you pray, direct your learning, convict you of sin and what to do about it. He works in us to will and do.....if we open the door. Revelation 3:20

I need to keep it simple.

May the eyes of your understanding be opened to the hope of your calling in Christ Jesus.

eddif
 
Welcome back lost for 2 long. We serve a great God who can forgive all sins. I was the same way. I served the Lord when I was young but when I was in my 20's I strayed. In my 30's the Lord brought me back. He wanted me. Consider yourself grateful that He wants you. He loves you too much to let you go.
 
Call on Him while He is near, and He will revive you and restore you, He will give you the strength to storm into the enemy camp and take back what Satan stole from you, He will give you the clear vision to see that your sins, though they be as scarlet, can be washed white as snow... like a handful of dust thrown into the ocean is the comparison of your sins to the grace and abundant mercies of our Lord, Jesus Christ. He is HOLY. He is FAITHFUL when we are not. Do not allow these temptations of pain and regret become idols in your life which keep you from running into the arms of God. The devil wants you focused on your failings. But my Bible tells me that God's arm is not short to save, and that His mercies are renewed every morning! Let this long dark night of your soul be finished, and rise again in His grace, child of God.
 
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