Trying to Find the "Right" Church - Returning Christian Struggling

[daninraleigh]

Hello Everyone,

I am a returning Christian after many years of not practicing. I have had great doubts in the past about my faith but recently I’ve been moved to explore it again. To that end my family and I have visited several different protestant churches, but each seems to have at least one belief that is just a total deal breaker for us (I know how that may sound, but I’m/we are working from where we are right now).

In one church we visited I felt it was a great fit in every way except I cannot not accept/condone some of the social issues (I’ll leave it at that). In other more conservative churches, I just completely disagree with some of the dogma, mostly around things like eternal hellfire as punishment.

My question is simply this, In the absence of finding the “perfect” church that perfectly fits my current beliefs/values what am I to do? Pray I know, but any other advice.

Thanks for your responses.

 

[hawkman]

In other more conservative churches, I just completely disagree with some of the dogma, mostly around things like eternal hellfire as punishment.

As Christians shouldn't we be more concerned with making it to heaven and helping as many as we can to make it too ?
Whatever happens in hell we have no control over , it as all up to God .

Capital City Church of God , Have you checked out this church ?

 

[daninraleigh]

Thanks hawkman I had a similar thought and wondered if there is only a couple of beliefs maybe I could look past that initially, hopefully grow and do exactly what you suggest Also if I have my doubts around certain things, I'm sure I'm not alone.

As for the church suggestion I will definitely take a look. Thanks!

 

[ari.sketch]

I was in the same position not too long ago,
after many years of not going to a church or even being a part of a Christian community, I finally decided to try and find a church.
I found I have several options, and I was fortunate enough to like the first church I went to,
(I had tried looking for a church years back and it took me several tries).

I like that you used the term "right" and not "perfect".
Going into this I know I'm not going to find the perfect church, but that's OK, since I'm not perfect myself.

And going into this (finding a church),
1. I just wanted to heed the importance of belonging to a local Christian community
2. I asked and prayed for the Holy Spirit's leading

I did read their belief, mission and vision statement - just to be sure it's Biblical.
I made sure there are small groups and Bible study group, and a chance to grow.

These were just the things I look for.
I do have my own opinions on certain things, but I gave that list to God and just asked and trusted God for His leading.
That He will lead me to a church where I can be planted and grow ... despite there may be some differences in opinion, etc.

I do hope and wish that you will be able to find a church where you can be planted and grow.

 

[Hopeful 2]

Hello Everyone,

I am a returning Christian after many years of not practicing. I have had great doubts in the past about my faith but recently I’ve been moved to explore it again. To that end my family and I have visited several different protestant churches, but each seems to have at least one belief that is just a total deal breaker for us (I know how that may sound, but I’m/we are working from where we are right now).

In one church we visited I felt it was a great fit in every way except I cannot not accept/condone some of the social issues (I’ll leave it at that). In other more conservative churches, I just completely disagree with some of the dogma, mostly around things like eternal hellfire as punishment.

My question is simply this, In the absence of finding the “perfect” church that perfectly fits my current beliefs/values what am I to do? Pray I know, but any other advice.

Thanks for your responses.

Don't settle for any place you recognize as unGodly.
Everything they teach should be printed in the bible.
What is your POV on the bible ?

 

[Hidden In Him]

In other more conservative churches, I just completely disagree with some of the dogma, mostly around things like eternal hellfire as punishment.

There's never been a church or denomination I agreed with everything on, so I simply try to find the common ground in each one I visit. However, what I would warn you about is this. Look for something that sticks to Christian orthodoxy as much as possible. There are a lot of churches out there that can claim they teach "the Bible," but do their doctrines truly line up with those of the early church or are they simply rewriting things to turn them into something that appeals to people more?

While it may seem distasteful to you, the early church very much believed in the doctrine of Hell, and it was one of pillar doctrines upon with the church was built. If you decide you don't want one that teaches a fundamental Christian doctrine like that, you are essentially making the decision that you don't want true Christianity, you want something more palatable, less offensive. People can seek churches and denominations like that and find them, but if they do, have they found true Christianity, or just something that imitates it while substituting in doctrines that are more accommodating to the modern ear?


God bless, and wishing you the best of luck in your search.
Hidden In Him

 

[Who Me]

have had great doubts in the past about my faith but recently I’ve been moved to explore it again. To that end my family and I have visited several different protestant churches, but each seems to have at least one belief that is just a total deal breaker for us

You have already visited the churches in your area.
May I suggest you revisit those whose teaching you are most in agreement with.
Note you do not have to agree with every doctrinal position of a church.
With that in mind search out a church whose teaching challenges you and whose leadership is happy to have someone asking questions.
Do bear in mind that you could be wrong in some of your beliefs.

Having doubts or questions about one's faith is not wrong, so .one as one is seeking answers.

So may I encourage you to visit and talk to church members and ministers to find a church that welcomes es your questions, challenges your faith and whose preaching is matched by their practises.

 

[WIP]

My question is simply this, In the absence of finding the “perfect” church that perfectly fits my current beliefs/values what am I to do?

Do you suppose it is possible that what I put in bold type could be part of the problem?

 

[for_his_glory]

First I do not believe there is any perfect Church, just like there is no perfect Christian, including myself. The Church needs to be a place that teaches us the word of God by the leading of the Holy Spirit that works through those who are anointed to teach us. Church needs to be a place of worship, edifying and lifting up the congregation and to be community minded in good works.

The best thing to do is try out the ones in your area as you pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you where you need to be.

 

[WalterandDebbie]

Hello Everyone,

I am a returning Christian after many years of not practicing. I have had great doubts in the past about my faith but recently I’ve been moved to explore it again. To that end my family and I have visited several different protestant churches, but each seems to have at least one belief that is just a total deal breaker for us (I know how that may sound, but I’m/we are working from where we are right now).

In one church we visited I felt it was a great fit in every way except I cannot not accept/condone some of the social issues (I’ll leave it at that). In other more conservative churches, I just completely disagree with some of the dogma, mostly around things like eternal hellfire as punishment.

My question is simply this, In the absence of finding the “perfect” church that perfectly fits my current beliefs/values what am I to do? Pray I know, but any other advice.

Thanks for your responses.

Hello daninraleigh, Along with the other posts, we will be in prayer for you, but have you taken a look at what Jesus has said in Matthew 5:48

https://www.google.com/search?q=be+...ARixAxiABMICCBAAGIoFGLED&sclient=gws-wiz#ip=1

Love, Walter And Debbie

 

[miamited]

Hi daninraleigh

To that end my family and I have visited several different protestant churches, but each seems to have at least one belief that is just a total deal breaker for us

So, were the 'deal breakers' something that the Scriptures teach that believers should practice in their worship, or was it just the color of the carpet kind of thing?

My encouragement is that you look for a fellowship that honors God and His word in their worship practices. You being 'new' in thinking, "Oh gee, it's been a long time since I've set foot in a fellowship of believers. I wonder if I can stomach being with them now?" Isn't really what the practice of worship with a fellowship of believers is about.

Care to share what some of the 'deal breakers' are?

I just completely disagree with some of the dogma, mostly around things like eternal hellfire as punishment.

Where did you get the idea that those cast into hell will be punished with eternal hellfire. Jesus said they will be tormented day and night for ever. It isn't punishment. It's the lot of what happens when there is nothing but unrepentant sinners all living together. Their sin is soooo great that they are tormented in their soul because of their own, and that of those surrounding them, sins.

No, God's word never says that there is punishment, beyond just being cast into hell in the first place, in hell. But there will be eternal torment for the soul that finds itself in that place for all eternity. So, I'm just saying that maybe you're looking at the issue wrong. What do you think happens to those that the Scriptures tell us will be cast apart from God in their eternal place?

My question is simply this, In the absence of finding the “perfect” church that perfectly fits my current beliefs/values what am I to do? Pray I know, but any other advice.

I would agree with praying, but it sounds like you're looking for a fellowship that's going to choose your understanding of things as the 'truth of God'. I've always looked for a fellowship that uses God's understanding of the things of God. Oh, and there are no 'perfect' fellowships. They're all made up of imperfect sinners. Sinners who understand the great mercy of God in what He has done for us in saving us from that eternal destiny of torment, and rather giving us a life of plenty and satisfaction living as God asks us to live. If you're not down with living like God is asking you to live, then you might as well look at hell however you like, but know that that's likely where you'll end up. Just because you're now going to fellowship gatherings of the people of God,...doesn't save anyone.

Find a fellowship where you can grow in the truth of God's word and not in the truth of daninraleigh.

God bless,
Ted

 

[stovebolts]

Hello Everyone,

I am a returning Christian after many years of not practicing. I have had great doubts in the past about my faith but recently I’ve been moved to explore it again. To that end my family and I have visited several different protestant churches, but each seems to have at least one belief that is just a total deal breaker for us (I know how that may sound, but I’m/we are working from where we are right now).

In one church we visited I felt it was a great fit in every way except I cannot not accept/condone some of the social issues (I’ll leave it at that). In other more conservative churches, I just completely disagree with some of the dogma, mostly around things like eternal hellfire as punishment.

My question is simply this, In the absence of finding the “perfect” church that perfectly fits my current beliefs/values what am I to do? Pray I know, but any other advice.

Thanks for your responses.

Hello and Welcome! I am glad you are drawing nearer to our Lord! What a time for rejoicing!

As far as church, think of it more as community. You will know a tree by its fruits, so look for fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5) within the congregation.

In other words, get to know the people and listen to the sermons. Are the sermons speaking to you? Are they prompting you to draw nearer in relationship with God? Do they teach you how to be obedient to Gods Word that you may live a joyful life?

Or

Do they point the finger at other denominations and preach condemnation based on fear?

Don’t worry too much over their dogma, unless it’s the cornerstone of each sermon. For example, the church I belong to is a wonderful community, but the dogma is such that we are born sinners and in a state of depravation. Personally, I see scripture teaching that we are conceived and born as good, but because of sin, we all eventually fall. This is in exact opposition to what the church I go to teaches.

However, I understand why our church holds to that dogma, and honestly, it’s for noble, and good purpose. It’s not used to condemn anyone but rather it’s used to bring about repentance and draw us all into a deeper relationship with God. Because of this, I don’t need to be right in my theology and push my own self righteousness onto the issue because even though I disagree, I understand the intent of their dogma and how it’s used to kindle a healthy relationship with God.

May God bless you and lead you into a community that will grow and stretch your faith and cause your love for God to multiply. ohhhh… and the time will come when God will prune your inequities and it may hurt. But just know this, God is transforming your life and as scripture says, all things work to the good for those who love God.

 

[Tenchi]

Hello Everyone,

I am a returning Christian after many years of not practicing. I have had great doubts in the past about my faith but recently I’ve been moved to explore it again. To that end my family and I have visited several different protestant churches, but each seems to have at least one belief that is just a total deal breaker for us (I know how that may sound, but I’m/we are working from where we are right now).

Welcome to CF.net

Christianity isn't a religion to be practiced but a relationship to be experienced. Through Jesus Christ, the Door, or Way, to God, any person who wishes to can be reconciled to God, adopted by Him into His family, and moved into daily fellowship (intimate communion) with Him.

John 14:6
Revelations 3:20
John 10:7-11
Colossians 1:15-21
2 Corinthians 13;14
1 John 1:3

No church is perfect; but Jesus is. Finding him is the important thing, not finding a community of Christians that suits you. In North America anyway, people tend to be consumers when it comes to the Christian faith, looking at the faith as a product from which to extract what they want rather than being bound to a family of people by a shared spiritual birth (John 3:3-8).

In one church we visited I felt it was a great fit in every way except I cannot not accept/condone some of the social issues (I’ll leave it at that). In other more conservative churches, I just completely disagree with some of the dogma, mostly around things like eternal hellfire as punishment.

Well, be careful not to make yourself the Final Arbiter of God's Truth and The Standard to which all fellow believers ought to conform. In His word, the Bible, God reveals to us His standard, His truth, and commands us to place ourselves under these things, under Himself. You are to mirror Him, not the other way 'round; God is not just a reflection of your preferences, and personality, and perspective. If this is what you make Him, then He is nothing more, really, than a reflection of you. In other words, at bottom, God is just you and worshiping Him is actually worship of yourself.

My question is simply this, In the absence of finding the “perfect” church that perfectly fits my current beliefs/values what am I to do? Pray I know, but any other advice.

Thanks for your responses.

How about coming to God and to His Church universal (not the Roman Catholic church) with humility and faith, letting God dictate to you what is true, and loving and edifying His children? The only alternative to this approach is a "faith" that is, essentially, just self-worship with a "Christian" veneer.

 

[Mr. G Lee]

Hello Everyone,

I am a returning Christian after many years of not practicing. I have had great doubts in the past about my faith but recently I’ve been moved to explore it again. To that end my family and I have visited several different protestant churches, but each seems to have at least one belief that is just a total deal breaker for us (I know how that may sound, but I’m/we are working from where we are right now).

In one church we visited I felt it was a great fit in every way except I cannot not accept/condone some of the social issues (I’ll leave it at that). In other more conservative churches, I just completely disagree with some of the dogma, mostly around things like eternal hellfire as punishment.

My question is simply this, In the absence of finding the “perfect” church that perfectly fits my current beliefs/values what am I to do? Pray I know, but any other advice.

Thanks for your responses.

It would seem God who gives gifts moves men as a privileged labor of love and honor by his name.

.All of God's gifts are twofold working mutually in the giver "prophet" and the hearer of Christ's labor of faith by it both given the understanding of God.(Romans 1)

In that way it would seem that two is the witness God has spoken

Finding fault in a certain teaching or order could be the promoting of ones gift.( fill the gap come out of the cave ) It's easy to find fault. . . plugging the hole in the dam for forgiveness takes power from God .

Sometimes we need a little reminder from a brother or sister that God does not forget the good works as a labor of love that we can do according to the power of his name , It's the better gift that accompanies salvation

Hebrew 6:9 But, beloved, we are persuaded better things of you, and things that accompany salvation, though we thus speak.For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.

Just as you have ministered to us.

One thing I am learning when angry many people start to scan searching for fault the log in eye.
I would suggests find a place where the work is the easiest. . yoked with Christ the burden lighter.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Hi

Sometimes…not always…non denominational community churches ️ are light on dogma and big on outreach and community. Not a guaranteed success but a thought …

 

[DJT_47]

Hello Everyone,

I am a returning Christian after many years of not practicing. I have had great doubts in the past about my faith but recently I’ve been moved to explore it again. To that end my family and I have visited several different protestant churches, but each seems to have at least one belief that is just a total deal breaker for us (I know how that may sound, but I’m/we are working from where we are right now).

In one church we visited I felt it was a great fit in every way except I cannot not accept/condone some of the social issues (I’ll leave it at that). In other more conservative churches, I just completely disagree with some of the dogma, mostly around things like eternal hellfire as punishment.

My question is simply this, In the absence of finding the “perfect” church that perfectly fits my current beliefs/values what am I to do? Pray I know, but any other advice.

Thanks for your responses.

The "right church" is a nebulous term. The better approach is to find the church of the bible since all so-called Christian churches won't save your soul and teach untruth, and are compromised by man's thoughts.

Try here

Hello Everyone,

I am a returning Christian after many years of not practicing. I have had great doubts in the past about my faith but recently I’ve been moved to explore it again. To that end my family and I have visited several different protestant churches, but each seems to have at least one belief that is just a total deal breaker for us (I know how that may sound, but I’m/we are working from where we are right now).

In one church we visited I felt it was a great fit in every way except I cannot not accept/condone some of the social issues (I’ll leave it at that). In other more conservative churches, I just completely disagree with some of the dogma, mostly around things like eternal hellfire as punishment.

My question is simply this, In the absence of finding the “perfect” church that perfectly fits my current beliefs/values what am I to do? Pray I know, but any other advice.

Thanks for your responses.

Rather than trying to find the "right church", you should be looking for the church of the bible.

Try here. Non-denominational

https://www.church-of-christ.org/directories/churches.html

 

[Mr. G Lee]

Rather than trying to find the "right church", you should be looking for the church of the bible.

Try here. Non-denominational

I would offer there are many denominations. No such thing as non denominational . which many do call themselves

The bible declares there must be sects or denominations called heresies (personal commentaries also called private interpretations) among us. We walk by faith and not by sight . In that way he came to bring division that his living word might be that unites the denominations . Sects that do not do despite to the fullness of grace the whole cost of salvation .

Man looks on the outside God who works from the inside softens our hearts.

We are warned of the antichrists. . . false prophet false that teach we need a man to teach us in the end destroying the promise of the Holy Spirit the teacher guide and comfort to whom also he brings to our memory

John 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

 

[DJT_47]

I would offer there are many denominations. No such thing as non denominational . which many do call themselves

The bible declares there must be sects or denominations called heresies (personal commentaries also called private interpretations) among us. We walk by faith and not by sight . In that way he came to bring division that his living word might be that unites the denominations . Sects that do not do despite to the fullness of grace the whole cost of salvation .

Man looks on the outside God who works from the inside softens our hearts.

We are warned of the antichrists. . . false prophet false that teach we need a man to teach us in the end destroying the promise of the Holy Spirit the teacher guide and comfort to whom also he brings to our memory

John 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

There weren't any denominations in the bible. Denominations equate to division and division is condemned. The church of the bible should be the goal. The church today should be modeled and structured after the church of the bible. If that's done, the biblical church can be replicated as it was done then when new congregations were established.

It's simple as it should be and as God intended.

Acts 2:38-47 tells you how one is saved by remission of sins verse 38. Verse 41 of Acts 2 says they that gladly received his (Peter's) word were baptized, and about 3000 souls were added. Verse 47 of Acts 2 tells you that the Lord adds you to the church.

So, that's the principle for conversion and being added to the body of Christ which is his church.

If then, those added to the body in any given area congregate together, they then are a local congregation such as they were in Jerusalem. Same today for starting the church at a new locale, i.e., missionary work.

And in Acts 14, you follow Paul's missionary work in Lystra, Antioch, and Liconium, and the scripture says in verse 23 they ordained elders in every church.

Then if you look at 1 Tim 3 it sites the qualifications for bishops (elders) and deacons.

Then if you look at theTitus letter, Paul's instructions to him were to ordain elders in every city, and elders were later referred to as bishops interchangeably.

That's it according to the inspired scriptures. No further organizational structure found in the scriptures, no central church, no overall head over all the churches, no other titles of hierarchy, just those, and ministers, preachers, teachers, with the local bodies head being the Lord.

 

[Mr. G Lee]

There weren't any denominations in the bible. Denominations equate to division and division is condemned. The church of the bible should be the goal. The church today should be modeled and structured after the church of the bible. If that's done, the biblical church can be replicated as it was done then when new congregations were established.

It's simple as it should be and as God intended.

It takes a little work but worth the effort in the end of the matter. It helps us understand the warning of the antichrists (false apostles) antichrists another teaching authority other than sola scriptura. . the sword of the Spirit.

The Bible teaches there must be division. The kingdom God is not of this world we walk or understand God not seen by faith. . . the unseen things of God . We are Ambassadors yoked with Christ sent from a foreign land not seen.(not corrupted earth)

Luke 12:51-53 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division: For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three.The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

1 Corinthians 11:19 For there must be also heresies (opinions)among you, that they which are approved may be made manifest among you.

We can seek the approval of God not seen as it is written.Not after the opinions as private interpretations as heresies of men.

All oral traditions as opinions are judsgeble /evaluable like Christmas or Easter .Hanukkah as long as they fit the prescription "not to do despite the fulness of grace" the full price of salvation

That heresy is under judgement .it can be seen with what some call the queen of heaven they teach that she alone received the fullness of grace the full cost of salvation and the rest of the world revives a unknown remnant and must continue to surfer even after taking thier last breath It identifies false prophets as false apostles

2 Peter 2:1 But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.

2 Peter 1:20 Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. (heresy,sect denomination )

 

[TonyChanYT]

In the absence of finding the “perfect” church that perfectly fits my current beliefs/values what am I to do?

I would join a church where I think I can be helpful and contribute toward the expansion of the church. Ask not what your church can do for you—ask what you can do for your church.