I sure dont, not all the time anyway.
Pray for me, I've been struggling with somebody for a few years now. I've accepted it, but thinking of coming face to face with these individuals next year causes me a lot of anxiety.
If it were a matter of forgive and forget, that was done years ago... except the forget part, which makes the forgiving part even harder.... especially when they dont see the harm they have done.
I have had a conflict of a professional nature with the manager of large facility in the way he is running the property that has created a some angst within our organization, as this is a very high profile facility. I had actually lost my temper with him at the time. I had no use for the guy, but I was reminded by a co-worker that even though I wrote the sequences and programming to control this facility, it was not mine to run, only fix when there was a problem. This little reminder helped me to let go, because I was proud of the work that I had done, and quite frankly still am. I let it go, and let it be, as the effects would eventually bare themselves out. Well they did, and I was asked to attend a meeting at the facility today with this individual to address these issues. I was quite anxious, and asked our operations manager to attend with me, so she did. I prepared for this meeting a summary of issues as well as proposed sequence modifications for the facility. Although I was a bit anxious, I held nothing against him, and with my write up and calm explanations of the ramifications of the way he was operating his building and with the proposed changes that I offered, I walked out of there the hero, and managed to regain his trust in the process. For me, it is more important that I have his trust and confidence in me and the things that I can provide than it is for me to establish the same trust and confidence in him.
I no longer find it that difficult to truly forgive someone, no mater how they may have wronged me. But that does not mean I that I have to keep and trust them as a friend. When I set my mind to forgive someone, it is not for their benefit, but for mine. I do not look for someone to apologize to me first that I may forgive them in my heart, as I must forgive them in my heart before they ask or even know that they have offended. You see, if I can not forgive them in my heart, then that resentment causes me to dwell on the things of the flesh, and robs me of my union in the Spirit.
Walk as Jesus walked. Hear the words of the Father that Jesus spoke. Hear the words of the Father. For I forgive them for mine own sake.
Isaiah 43:23-26
Thou hast not brought me the small cattle of thy burnt offerings;
neither hast thou honoured me with thy sacrifices.
I have not caused thee to serve with an offering,
nor wearied thee with incense.
Thou hast bought me no sweet cane with money,
neither hast thou filled me with the fat of thy sacrifices:
but thou hast made me to serve with thy sins,
thou hast wearied me with thine iniquities.
I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake,
and will not remember thy sins.
Put me in remembrance: let us plead together:
declare thou, that thou mayest be justified.
Luke 10:25-29
And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life? He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou? And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself. And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.
But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?