What is WRONG with parents these days?!

[Nikki]

I have an almost 14 year old and a 12 year old...both girls. I'm absolutely SHOCKED at the way these parents let their daughters dress these days. What's real bad is that they encourage it!!!! WHY?! Because they want their girls to be popular?! Thankfully, my daughters middle school has a uniform policy (It's a public school too!), so I never have to worry about how they dress at school, but even at home, they would NEVER be allowed to wear the things that their friends wear. My 13 year old could care less about style. She is a lot like I was at her age and she spends a ton of time outside. She's also very "artsy" and can't stand when girls dress skimpy. My 12 year old tested us a few times by trying to wear clothes that she had outgrown or else rolling the top of her shorts to make them shorter, but thankfully we nipped that in the bud real quick.

I'm terrified for the girls of this generation. It makes me sick.

I just had to vent....carry on!

 

[tim-from-pa]

I have an almost 14 year old and a 12 year old...both girls. I'm absolutely SHOCKED at the way these parents let their daughters dress these days. What's real bad is that they encourage it!!!! WHY?! Because they want their girls to be popular?! Thankfully, my daughters middle school has a uniform policy (It's a public school too!), so I never have to worry about how they dress at school, but even at home, they would NEVER be allowed to wear the things that their friends wear. My 13 year old could care less about style. She is a lot like I was at her age and she spends a ton of time outside. She's also very "artsy" and can't stand when girls dress skimpy. My 12 year old tested us a few times by trying to wear clothes that she had outgrown or else rolling the top of her shorts to make them shorter, but thankfully we nipped that in the bud real quick.

I'm terrified for the girls of this generation. It makes me sick.

I just had to vent....carry on!

Sounds to me you're a tad more stressed out over this than your daughters. Nothing you said makes me think that they are out of control, and you should be thankful for that.

My two sons, now in their early 20's went thru similar stuff, the green hair and whatnot. I learned not to stress over that, and indeed it did not bother me because it was the style for the day. Think back in the days of powdered wigs and hose for men --- it was the style. Now if it's green hair, it's all just superficial. So, instead of worrying about it, I had a green beer along side my green-hair kid for St. Patrick's Day and all was well.

Oftentimes what we think of as "proper" is equally the traditions of men if one can lay aside the myopia long enough to see that. For example, do your daughters now wear skirts that don't even show the ankles? Back over 100 years ago any young lady even showing her ankles was considered a floozy. Actually, I can understand where the Victorians were coming from, and I could live there as well.

In other words, it matters not if the girls wear hot pants (like in the 1970's) or long skirts --- either society would not make a difference to me and I could live in either one equally well. One has to ascertain the spirit behind such things instead.

 

[WIP]

I'm with Nikki on this one. I think there's a huge difference between provocative dress and green hair. I attend school events and I too am shocked by the way the girls dress at very young ages. I'm talking 7th and 8th grade (12 & 13). The other day I attended a volleyball game. It's surprising how some girls dress, walk, and do their best to put their wares on display. Five inch heels, short dresses, low-cut tops, push-up support, you name it. Actually, it reminds me of the way movie actresses and popular musicians dress - slutty. Sorry to be so blunt but I am relieved that my own daughters haven't pushed this envelope....yet.

Of course we're mores stressed by this than the kids. We'd also be more stressed about them using drugs, alcohol, or whatever else they may be doing. To them, it's all fun and games.

 

[tim-from-pa]

My point is what the provocative dress is about. That's what has to be addressed, not the dress itself per se. Case in point: I bet one can see "more" of the daughter at the beach than in the provocative dress.

Actually, I'm not disagreeing. I'm trying to get folks to see the crux of what it's about instead of dealing with the symptoms.

 

[jasoncran]

i know i see here in florida.daily

 

[Mike]

Nikki, I'm with you on this one, and then some. I don't do a lot of shopping for clothing, but when I do... Usually, I have a rack or two that I feel is appropriate for a girl these days. For anyone who's paid attention to me, this will be a re-re-re-re-hash of one of my gripes. The clothing that they sell for girls completely plays into the trashy image that I don't want my girls to have of themselves. I've written letters to managers, but I'm sure they fall on deaf ears - because too many parents buy them for theirs.

I see it everywhere; even in church sometimes. Like you say, it's bad enough that the girls want to project this image, but it's even worse that the parents allow it. What kind of parent allows their girls to where anything on the back side of pants, let alone "pornstar" or "sexy"?

 

[Gazelle]

Perhaps many parents are "too" busy? As for the young ages of the girls acting out, we have to remember that puberty comes much earlier than it used to (8 - 11, for boys as well.) I have my suppositions on this (growth hormones and antibiotics in the foods etc.,) but a parent's job is also to maintain the status quo of following Christ.

It's tough to raise a child through the puberty years .. no matter what generation. A thin line between your tough love and their rebellion if you ask me.

Communication is key. Talk, talk, talk...about the hows and whys.

Oh there's a show on cable...whew! Can't recall what it is but they trash the (trashy) clothes (suck them up a vacuum tube) in the beginning...and sometimes have a life-size picture of her in the clothes the participant wears out in public and ask the guys what their impressions are...talk about getting the girl's attention! She finds out that the message she thought she was sending is not the one they were receiving. (It's called How Do I look?)

A discussion of what kind of attention a young Christian lady should be desiring might help guide her? :heart

 

[Nathan Alterton]

I have to agree with tim-from-pa to a certain degree. C.S. Lewis wrote a fantastic piece on Chastity verses Modesty in his wonderful book, Mere Christianity. Styles of dress and standards of modesty change dramatically from place to place and time to time. Modesty is a very subjective standard.

Chastity, on the other hand is the objective standard that Bible teaches us to seek, but it has more to do with intent and behavior than it does with style, per se. What is considered modest and appropriate dress by people living today in the south Pacific is very different than what would be considered appropriate in late 18th century England. Neither style is right and neither is wrong. But the way the person who wears the clothes puts themselves out there, that is the more concerning thing.

That said, I'm not dismissing the idea that in every culture and every time there are styles of dress that are considered trashy, or unchaste. Just that conformance with modesty requires no particular objective style.