What Makes A Good Marriage?

[reba]

G37
ἁγιάζω
hagiazō
hag-ee-ad'-zo
From G40; to make holy, that is, (ceremonially) purify or consecrate; (mentally) to venerate: - hallow, be holy, sanctify.
G40
ἅγιος
hagios
hag'-ee-os
From ἅγος hagos (an awful thing) compare G53, [H2282]; sacred (physically pure, morally blameless or religious, ceremonially consecrated): - (most) holy (one, thing), saint.
Maybe i need to trust God's Word

 

[for_his_glory]

How? I'm betting that when you married the first two times in both cases, you felt it was true and forever. We all do. When we commit to marriage and make the declaration before witnesses and God we are declaring that commitment for life and here on this earth in our society today it is also a commitment to the government and separating becomes even more difficult. Without a recognized marriage by the state, separation leaves each to his/her own. With a recognized marriage there is more at stake, albeit, secular.

Your bet would be wrong in my case as first I didn't even know what love was, but knew I wanted to be married so I latched on to the first man that paid me any attention. It was a marriage of convenience more than it was for love. Even though we got married in a church even though we believed in God, but were never commited to Him or His Son the vows were said with empty meaning. It was more ritual than anything. That marriage only lasted eight years as he told me he never really loved me, but thought he could get closer to my sister through me. We divorced.

The second marriage I was very young in the Lord with hardly any knowledge. We met at work and after talking with him he said he was a Christian and we started dating and soon moved in together and got married. To make a long story short he hid it from me that he was an alcoholic and drug user and soon my world was turned upside down when the beatings and cheating on me started and I became a prisoner in my own home until God got me out of it.

I never wanted to get married again as I was done with that route and I wanted to dedicate myself to Christ and find a good Church and that's what I did, but God had other plans for me and that is when I met my gift from God and we both knew from the get go we would be together for life as I finally understood what love was as I had to love myself first, which I never did, and it was through Christ that showed me what real love was as when I first met my husband in Church I could see the love of Christ in his eyes and in his heart and it just fell all together as our union was truly given by God. Not everyone gets to experience this in life.

I'm not justifying living together apart from God as Christ needs to be the center of everything, but am saying there is no fornication when God puts two together as one flesh in union with His Spirit as He did with Adam an Eve and everyone else before man incorporated into the law of having a marriage certificate as that law was not of God, but man only.

 

[jasonc]

I am not the best husband. however, I have learned this. when one is first in love and even married to the women of such liking. it is very much lust. when that body of hers fades, and sickness or money issue arise then does the love actually become as such. we like to thin that is there, no its a test and that tells us whether or not we do really love our spouse or not. sometimes the fact that we have a punishment or burden to stay married is the reason we do in fact stay married. I'm not going to sugar coat and lie and say we aren't selfish even while married. when we choose to remain faithful when its hard then does that saying of act the emotion then the feeling will come later not ring true.

 

[for_his_glory]

In my devotional reading today, I read this from Palm 119 and thought it to be a good reminder.

Blessed are the undefiled in the way, Who walk in the law of the Lord! Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, Who seek Him with the whole heart! They also do no iniquity; They walk in His ways. You have commanded us To keep Your precepts diligently. Oh, that my ways were directed To keep Your statutes! Then I would not be ashamed, When I look into all Your commandments. I will praise You with uprightness of heart, When I learn Your righteous judgments.

Yes, who walk in the law of the Lord, not what man incorporates into the law

 

[jasonc]

if there wasn't any type of punishment recourse for breaking a contract there wouldn't be as many marriages that lasted.like it or not a marriage has that element and since the time of mary and joseph being betrothed the ketubah and the meribah . the marriage was "legal" until the rabbi had them sigh the aramiac contract. my dad has his parents contract which hung over their bed. it is almost 80 years old now.

remember when Joseph thought to put her away? she was pregnant and he could have her charged with adultery and have her stoned. with a divorce it would have been eaiser on her. yet the Angel stopped him from doing that since she was innocent of adultery.

 

[for_his_glory]

Been thinking about this through dinner.

I had said that I could live without the marriage certificate, but I'd want to be married in a church, before God.

Then I remembered that both churches I attended would not marry a couple unless they had a marriage certificate from the state. Why? Because a marriage is not a personal occasion. It's a communal celebration and is to be shared by family, friends, and society in general.

In the time of Jesus, and in the small town here where I was born, the entire town joins in the celebrations.
Just some thoughts...

It's all in one's preference as I see it as a personal occasion between you, your spouse and God and then celebrating your joy and happiness with family and friends afterwards. Being that my husband was never married before I decided to go all out for him being married in the Church we met in by our Pastor with the gown and tuxedo, the unity candles and decorations as we included all the members of the Church and our immediate family as the Church members were our friends and family too who supported our union.

 

[for_his_glory]

You would not be allowed to!
I've taught children. You MUST teach what the particular church believes.
I don't know of any church that believes two are married only through love.

I wouldn't teach it to children as they could never understand it at their age, but have taught it in the Church and Bible studies. I never go by what religion teaches as it loves to put one under bondage as I do try the spirits that teach me so I will know truth from error as the Holy Spirit gives me confirmation through what God has already given us in His word.

 

[for_his_glory]

The words husband and wife are used for a reason. You cannot use those words unless you're officially married. Jesus used those reasons because He taught this concept of marriage.

How does one know the difference between love and fornication?
Don't most love each other?

I'm officially married by God who is the one who creates the union, not some piece of legal document or a religious man made doctrine. I've already explained the difference between pure love and God's union compared to fornication. I get it that many oppose what I post and that's OK with me as I have learned that God and His word is not socially acceptable.

BTW, We do have a marriage license somewhere as I can't find it, but only for legal purposes.

 

[jasonc]

I'm officially married by God who is the one who creates the union, not some piece of legal document or a religious man made doctrine. I've already explained the difference between pure love and God's union compared to fornication. I get it that many oppose what I post and that's OK with me as I have learned that God and His word is not socially acceptable.

so you wouldn't expect your husband to ignore your wishes in a will. in my state I cant simply write my wife out of legal things such as retirement pensions, unless she consents. in my state you have NO legal right to things your husband owns upon his death unless he willed them to you and that can easily be ignored by the state. a trust cant. my wife has NO way of talking to the trustee, taking the money I get from that trust as she isn't part of it. that's rock solid. your husband could simply choose to walk away and take all that he owns and to include a pension and you have nothing. that is why I suggest the state license as to prevent that. I have seen that with a man who never married his girlfriend and his son did things that he told(but never had it legally binding in a will nor trust) on how he was to be buried and disposal of his property. despite living together for ten or more years the state of Florida says she has no legal right to his property. its not a common law state(which requires a license )

I could argue that with any law we must follow. one doesn't need government to be Godly, that is true but lets be honest without the cop threatening us with Jail for not following that law against things we wouldn't be so apt to be lawful citizens. I have been stationed in Afghanistan and at the time it was very much anarchy and we called it the wild wild west as that is how it was. I know that you aren't saying that but again as a soldier I have seen a married women deny money they were paid to give to the spouse for support by the army and then later on cheat on said spouse. she was forced by the army to give him that money. they had all of us show a joint account or a separate account with the dependent being able to collect their money. many soldiers resented that. I told them, then why aren't you filing for divorce? well uh , its not like that. well either you trust your spouse or you don't. I walked my wife through all that was needed for her and should I die do this. I trusted her and she hasn't failed me in that. there was an issue then and still is but this money thing wasn't that type of thing.

the army has a word called discipline. doing the right thing when no one sees you. Christians often don't. I'm guilty.

 

[Creative]

what makes is a good marriage is ADULTS, unfortunately when your expectation of your mate is that they make you happy and please you like a little spoiled baby then the divorce is the certain result

what they should do when divorce occurs is place 80% of all the assets into a trust fund for the kids when they turn 21, give the remaining money to the lawyers; of course the kids should be taken away since the parents cannot even manage the most important relationship in their lives so they are unfit of course to raise kids

just my opinion of course

 

[Creative]

Some couples live together to make sure that they're compatible.
It's been found that there is a higher percentage rate of divorce among these couples once they get married.

Why do you believe that is?

You cannot practice for a relationship, that is not the way it works. A lot of these couples are not trying to see if they are compatible. They are actually in it for security and pleasure. When the relationship is failing many of these couples think marriage is what will save it. Then it does not and that is why the percentage is higher.

 

[reba]

closed for moderator review

 

[reba]

8) Active promotion of sinful behavior will not be permitted. (ToS 2.1)
Do not make statements either by posts or posting URLs to other Websites which advocate activities, beliefs or teachings contrary to those of Christianity as articulated by the historic creeds, as understood by Evangelicalism, and as interpreted by the christianforums.net Leadership's sole discretion.