When Christians Get It Wrong

[Caroline H]

I thought this article would be interesting to some of you. It would probably be good for us all to read it, since we can sometimes have a tendency to make judgment calls against one another. This is the first part, the whole thing isn't too long so I hope you'll take a look

How to repair the damage done by Christians acting unChristianly.

When I ask non-Christians what they think Jesus stood for, most say, "Love." And they are correct; this is one of the defining elements of Jesus' teaching. He told His followers that God's will for humanity could be summarized with two commands: love God and love your neighbor. He went to on to say that our neighbor is anyone who needs our help. The love we are to show is not a feeling but a way of acting—a love of kindness and compassion and a desire to bless and seek good for others. Jesus told His disciples they were to love not only their neighbors and friends but their enemies as well. He told them the world would know that they are His disciples by their love. Non-Christians know that Jesus stood for love. Which is why, when those who claim to follow Jesus act in unloving ways, it feels particularly unpleasant. This disparity between the love Christians are meant to display and what people often experience is most pronounced when Christians speak with judgment or in disparaging ways toward others.

No doubt you can think of examples of Christians you have known who were judgmental, hypocritical and unloving. Some of the most insensitive, critical, judgmental and mean-spirited people I've known were persons who claimed to be committed Christians.

I was officiating at the graveside funeral for a young man who had taken his own life. The parents were still in shock and experiencing intense grief. In the eulogy and message I sought to help them and all who had gathered to make sense of this terrible tragedy while finding comfort and hope in God. And we remembered the unique and special qualities of their son. Following the service, a husband and wife—sister and brother-in-law of one of the boy's parents—came to me and asked, "Why didn't you tell them that their son is in hell today!"

I was taken aback and asked: "How do you know the boy is in hell today? Do you know what was in the boy's heart? Are you so certain you know the mind of God?" They looked at me and walked away. What kind of person is so certain of another's eternal fate that they can stand before grieving parents and callously tell them their son is in hell

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/chu ... t-it-wrong

 

[Evointrinsic]

I'm glad to see some Christians noticing this as well. It seems more often then not where, I in particular (most likely because of my lack of belief), get called upon in quite judgmental and rather ignorant ways and assumptions simply because I am not a Christian. Which, in my mind at least, is quite hypocritical to say the very least.

Thank you for posting this Caroline

 

[Lloyd81]

This is a good thread, and love is the absolute attribute we should have as part of our makeup, whether a Christian or not. Above all else, love is the key.

 

[Mike]

I'm glad to see some Christians noticing this as well. It seems more often then not where, I in particular (most likely because of my lack of belief), get called upon in quite judgmental and rather ignorant ways and assumptions simply because I am not a Christian. Which, in my mind at least, is quite hypocritical to say the very least.

Thank you for posting this Caroline

Evo, while I have never, and likely will never, proclaim that someone is in, or is going to go to, hell. This is not for anyone but God to say. Even more so when someone is in a vulnerable state as the mourning family was at the funeral. No one in this person's position should make this proclamation.

That said, as Christians, we are called to proclaim the Gospel. This should be done in the spirit of hope rather than condemnation. As Christians we can't know someone is going to hell, but we can state with confidence that which is the Way. To an atheist, we need to point to Christ. To our brothers and sisters in Christ, we have a different obligation. To them we need to correct them if we see them doing something inconsistent with our faith, but in an uplifting manner. It frustrates me greatly to see people on these boards be combative with fellow believers, as it is a poor witness to those outside the faith.

You were very constructive in your handling of an atheist who was taking the wrong approach, and we need to be self-correcting when we see our own handling themselves poorly.

Caroline, very nice post and article.

 

[Evointrinsic]

Evo, while I have never, and likely will never, proclaim that someone is in, or is going to go to, hell. This is not for anyone but God to say. Even more so when someone is in a vulnerable state as the mourning family was at the funeral. No one in this person's position should make this proclamation.

And I thank you for that, Mike :D I completely agree with your statement, and would have been utterly disgusted to know that someone was even thinking of telling the parents of that boy that "he is (or even probably is) burning in hell right now". That is just down right sickening to me. Fortunately I don't know many Christians that would say that, but I do know some.

That said, as Christians, we are called to proclaim the Gospel. This should be done in the spirit of hope rather than condemnation. As Christians we can't know someone is going to hell, but we can state with confidence that which is the Way. To an atheist, we need to point to Christ. To our brothers and sisters in Christ, we have a different obligation. To them we need to correct them if we see them doing something inconsistent with our faith, but in an uplifting manner. It frustrates me greatly to see people on these boards be combative with fellow believers, as it is a poor witness to those outside the faith.

I understand this, after all a warning is a warning. This really doesn't bother me too much. It's those that take it to the next step and seek to destroy people for what they do, believe or have done (homosexual behaviors, atheism, abortions, ect.). The people that go as far as killing another person because they are a homosexual, or an atheist, or a doctor that has performed abortions that really really get to me. Even those that have (intentionally or unintentionally) lead a person to suicide because of they're extreme distaste for those same things (for example a family member that took they're own life because of their sexuality), get to me me just as much as those that have took a life themselves. Those are the people I am talking about in my first post, those that have such an apparent hatred for another person or their beliefs that they use the bible in order to attempt to bring more hatred for this group of people, those are the ones that get to me.

People such as yourself, however, you are more civil and take the bible as a tool for peaceful enlightenment and the spread of love and so forth, rather than a tool for discrimination, racism, suppression, hatred, murder and sexism (I could go on). Thankfully we have Christians like you.

Wow I sound a bit like a suck up right now don't I? hahaha

 

[jasoncran]

that isnt for us to say that a deceased love one is in hell for we really dont know their hearts.

i lost a fellow soldier just like that, he was one day at drill , then the next day dead! no one knows why he took his life, maybe it was he couldnt handle reintergration, or his fiance left him, or all of those things.

my platoon sgt took iniative and read the bible and did preach on hope in christ and what hell was and the need to repent,but he never said that sgt matthew prestidge was in hell. he did it in a loving manner.

:verysad i have done some rather judgemental things in my day and regret that. i need to work on my delivery methods at times.

 

[Nick]

Great article Carol ;) :D. Thanks for posting!

There is a difference between lovingly sharing the Gospel with those who need saving, lovingly rebuking one another, spurring one another on; and just plain judging one another. Sadly many seem to forget the 'lovingly' part in 2 Timothy 4:2:

Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

 

[Caroline H]

Great article Carol ;) :D.

 

[Nick]

Great article Carol ;) :D.

:D :P

 

[Vic C.]

Whose to say anyone is in heaven or hell right after dying anyway? I believe the soul and spirit of believers reunite at the resurrection/transformation and the fate of nonbelievers will be determined at the final resurrection. I don't make concrete statements concerning the state or place of the soul. I've read fine Biblical arguments for both sides of that fence. ;) But that is for a theological discussion, which this is not.

When Jesus first came to this world, He did not come to condemn it:

John 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

The nonbeliever is already under the judgment of the Father and should not be judged by we believers.

1 Cor 5:12 For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?
1 Cor 5:13 But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

The NJKV puts it this way:

12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside?
13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.â€

As Mike said, we are to judge and rebuke those within Christianity, but we are to do it in a not so condemning way.

 

[Caroline H]

Although I agree with everyone's post here, the article wasn't just about not condemning non-Christians, it was also about how we relate to one another even when we don't agree, and about living hypocritical lives, and about loving people genuinely. The OP only contains the first part of the article :yes

 

[Nick]

Re-reading this today reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13:

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

 

[Caroline H]

Re-reading this today reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13:

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

:amen

 

[Adullam]

I'm glad to see some Christians noticing this as well. It seems more often then not where, I in particular (most likely because of my lack of belief), get called upon in quite judgmental and rather ignorant ways and assumptions simply because I am not a Christian. Which, in my mind at least, is quite hypocritical to say the very least.

Thank you for posting this Caroline

Evo, while I have never, and likely will never, proclaim that someone is in, or is going to go to, hell. This is not for anyone but God to say. Even more so when someone is in a vulnerable state as the mourning family was at the funeral. No one in this person's position should make this proclamation.

That said, as Christians, we are called to proclaim the Gospel. This should be done in the spirit of hope rather than condemnation. As Christians we can't know someone is going to hell, but we can state with confidence that which is the Way. To an atheist, we need to point to Christ. To our brothers and sisters in Christ, we have a different obligation. To them we need to correct them if we see them doing something inconsistent with our faith, but in an uplifting manner. It frustrates me greatly to see people on these boards be combative with fellow believers, as it is a poor witness to those outside the faith.

You were very constructive in your handling of an atheist who was taking the wrong approach, and we need to be self-correcting when we see our own handling themselves poorly.

Caroline, very nice post and article.

Amen! We are to help save the world, not condemn it!