Scripture?
No, your mind isn't stronger than God's will for you. God's foreknowledge of who would come into his grace and who would reject it.
Jesus would have to throw you away and reciprocate your turning away from him. He does not. He promises that.And he died to keep his promise. Praise the LORD!
God knows who are his and who are not. That's why not everyone on earth for all time have their name written in a one and only lambs book of life before the world was created. Those who God knew would accept the not so free when you think about Christ's suffering on the cross , gift of eternal salvation and immortal life. And who would reject it. And all before he created the heavens and the earth.
Sure, there are those who inhabiting this mortal coil using the limited mortal consciousness can say they're Christian. They can go through all the motions too. Repent, baptism, all that. And while they think they're in Christ, God actually knows their heart and if they are.
2 Corinthians 5:17, Psalm 116. And he knows who are not his own. God is eternal and he is eternally knowing, sovereign. No thing is greater than his power as source from whence all is.
"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day" John 6:44
John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice and they follow me.
The beginning of that chapter 10 , all of it glorious reading that may help your understanding, speaks of those who think they're in Christ but really , as God knows, are not. They are thieves and robbers. They can't leave Christ's hand because God knows they were never really there in the first place. The delusion therefore is in that false christian because while they may think they're in Christ and then dedicate themselves to walking away for the rest of their life, God knows if they are his. And that eternal spirits thoughts is all that matters.
That person could be a true believer. They were just led away by the worlds trappings. However, just because they turned their back on God, Christ, that never means God, Christ, turned his back on that true believer. Even when they imagined they were no longer that.
The parable of the shepherd seeking after but one in his flock that goes astray? Familiar? Does that parable say something like, if the sheep were to look at the shepherd and doubt the security the shepherd afforded him, the shepherd would let the lamb down to suffer the fate deserving. Because the lamb's thought of itself is greater than the power that sent its voice to inform the sheep of its place in his plan?
No.
My thoughts aren't greater than God's knowledge of me before he created this world I live in. And hey, I could be deluded thinking I'm called and saved. I'll find out in the end. The point being, God knows. God said his covenant with his sheep that are called to his son is everlasting. That's all that matters. That's all that rules in the truth of how things really are beyond the scope and confines of this limited consciousness in this transitory existence called "my" life in "this world".
God knows. And God said he gives eternal salvation and eternal life to those who believe and are in his grace. Thinking we actually can change that is thinking this tiny mortal self has a will greater than the eternal infinite power that made it from the dust of the ground in the beginning.
And no doubt, if arriving in Heaven after entertaining such a notion, one would have a good chuckle with God for having been so silly. And so
self-assured as that. God knows his son came to tell self it ain't all that. And what it really is will spend eternity in one place or the other finding that out.
God knows it is not my place to change your mind when his word does not assist your understanding.
God be with you.