Why do christians have to be so judgemental and self righteous ?

[jahjahwarrior]

Throughout my years of involvement in church and ministry I have noticed how rude, stuck-up, insensitive and even downright cruel a lot of our so-called "brothers and sisters" in Christ can be towards their own fellow believers, especially towards those who are hurting or going through hard times. For example; there was a period of 5 years in my life when nothing but bad things happened to me all at once. I decided to financially help out one of my closest Christian friends (or so I was led to believe) whom I have known since junior high. He decided to show his appreciation for my compassion towards him by totally screwing me over which caused me financial ruin which took me 5 years to recover from with the help from working a second job (which would cause a hernia). On top of that, what this guy did to me also ruined my relationship with my then girlfriend which put me in the deepest state of depression I have ever been in leaving me to spend every day of my life thinking suicidal thoughts (bearing in mind this was 3 years before I met my wife). During the darkest times of my life then, instead of showing compassion and sympathy for me like a good Christian should do, I was instead chastised by my own fellow "Christians" and judged unmercifully. These self righteous pigs would tell me that it's my fault I got screwed over because "tHe BiBlE sAyS nOt To Co SiGn FoR oThEr PeOpLe!!!" Gee Thanks a lot! While we're at it, let's walk up to a girl who has been raped and say to her "IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU GOT RAPED!!!". It absolutely sickens me to death how cruel Christians can be to their own kind. While Christians beat me to the ground and made me feel even worse about my situation, most of the compassion and sympathy I got was from unsaved friends and family. Why would any christian in the right mind ever go to someone in my situation and tell them point blank that it's "their fault" they got screwed over by a dishonest friend??? Even my own dad and in-laws think that about me!!! About a year after my ex-girlfriend dumped me, I lost my job which left me unemployed, broke and deep in debt and GOD FORBID I dare to be sad about it. *rolls eyes* I love Jesus, so apparently I'm supposed to be happy and joyful 24/7 and if I'm not, then I must not be a "true Christian". I sickens me how Christians love to beat each other down when they're hurting. I feel like I get more respect from the unsaved than I do Christians. Shouldn't it be the other way around or did I overlook the bible verse that says "blessed are those who shoot their own wounded"? All this snobby judgemental bullcrap Christians love to pull makes me want to convert to atheism. It's no wonder our unsaved friends and family think Christians are hypocrites and want nothing to do with God or the faith. Quite frankly, I can't say I blame them. And I have no doubts at least 99% of you are judging me at this very moment as you're reading this and assuming I must not be a Christian because of this rant, right?

 

[turnorburn]

jahahwarrior says: at this very moment as you're reading this and assuming I must not be a Christian because of this rant, right?

No it just sounds like you need a little more of something we all need more of..

Luke 11:4 And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.

tob

 

[Gary]

And I have no doubts at least 99% of you are judging me at this very moment as you're reading this and assuming I must not be a Christian because of this rant, right?

No, I'm wondering why you're still ranting about something that happened over 3 years ago.

You need to let that stuff go or it'll eat you alive. Your rant here is evidence of that.

Just saying...

.

 

[Chopper]

Wow!! I wish I could say that your experience is a rare one, but I'm afraid that it's all too common. I wish I could say something to cheer you up but all I can do is say I feel so very bad that you got taken advantage of, and by a good friend, that's what really hurts. I hope somehow that your life has turned around, you certainly deserve it.

Those same people who are rubbing your face in the Bible probably have in their past a similar circumstance as you and they are biting at you because they made the same mistake.

I was a Baptist Pastor for many years and after about 15 years I left being a pastor because of the actions of so called Christians. There are always people who no matter what the sermon might be, they will find fault. That is a small but vocal minority. The problem with the majority of people, they are for the most part silent. I told my Wife at that time that I would rather work with unbelievers than believers.

After a year of resting from the "biters" I returned to being a pastor with a strong message of loving each other rather than biting and devouring each other. I started a small ministry that grew from a Bible study and grew to about 60 people. I wish you had been a part of that little fellowship because whatever funds came in we helped people like you get out of debt caused by your generosity to a friend. I'm no longer a pastor, rather, I just help people with their struggles....Love you Brother.

 

[Chopper]

Hey warrior, I just thought of something. There must be a small "House Church" in your area. That's what I started. They start out from a Bible study in someone's home. Some of them never do grow into a large assembly, they just start another House Church. They are like a little very loving and understanding group of folk who love our Lord and minister to each other. If anyone does the judging like you have described, they are asked to leave.

I would advise you to find one close to you. They are out there, you just have to ask around.

 

[th1b.taylor]

Chopper has given you great words of wisdom! Wisdom comes from trials, sucks but true. My life, before I learned to truly lean on Jesus was horrible. When I got out of the Army after eight years of service my first reward was spit between the eyes and as soon as I arrived home none of my friends would be seen in public. Over the years I did my best to love my mother, who did her best to milk me dry of money.

When my friends, every one of them died, I grieved for them, my mom also. Form better than forty years of adult life I learned two sure facts;
1. Trials, all of them, make one strong and compassionate &
2. People, every single one of them, will disappoint you.

Both of these will grow you as they stretch you into the image of that man hanging on the cross.

 

[Fish Catcher Jim]

Throughout my years of involvement in church and ministry I have noticed how rude, stuck-up, insensitive and even downright cruel a lot of our so-called "brothers and sisters" in Christ can be towards their own fellow believers, especially towards those who are hurting or going through hard times. For example; there was a period of 5 years in my life when nothing but bad things happened to me all at once. I decided to financially help out one of my closest Christian friends (or so I was led to believe) whom I have known since junior high. He decided to show his appreciation for my compassion towards him by totally screwing me over which caused me financial ruin which took me 5 years to recover from with the help from working a second job (which would cause a hernia). On top of that, what this guy did to me also ruined my relationship with my then girlfriend which put me in the deepest state of depression I have ever been in leaving me to spend every day of my life thinking suicidal thoughts (bearing in mind this was 3 years before I met my wife). During the darkest times of my life then, instead of showing compassion and sympathy for me like a good Christian should do, I was instead chastised by my own fellow "Christians" and judged unmercifully. These self righteous pigs would tell me that it's my fault I got screwed over because "tHe BiBlE sAyS nOt To Co SiGn FoR oThEr PeOpLe!!!" Gee Thanks a lot! While we're at it, let's walk up to a girl who has been raped and say to her "IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU GOT RAPED!!!". It absolutely sickens me to death how cruel Christians can be to their own kind. While Christians beat me to the ground and made me feel even worse about my situation, most of the compassion and sympathy I got was from unsaved friends and family. Why would any christian in the right mind ever go to someone in my situation and tell them point blank that it's "their fault" they got screwed over by a dishonest friend??? Even my own dad and in-laws think that about me!!! About a year after my ex-girlfriend dumped me, I lost my job which left me unemployed, broke and deep in debt and GOD FORBID I dare to be sad about it. *rolls eyes* I love Jesus, so apparently I'm supposed to be happy and joyful 24/7 and if I'm not, then I must not be a "true Christian". I sickens me how Christians love to beat each other down when they're hurting. I feel like I get more respect from the unsaved than I do Christians. Shouldn't it be the other way around or did I overlook the bible verse that says "blessed are those who shoot their own wounded"? All this snobby judgemental bullcrap Christians love to pull makes me want to convert to atheism. It's no wonder our unsaved friends and family think Christians are hypocrites and want nothing to do with God or the faith. Quite frankly, I can't say I blame them. And I have no doubts at least 99% of you are judging me at this very moment as you're reading this and assuming I must not be a Christian because of this rant, right?

Hello Brother,
I do agree you need to let it go.
Mark 11:25 KJV
And when ye stand praying, FORGIVE if ye have AUGHT AGAINST ANY: that your Father also which is in Heaven MAY FORGIVE YOU YOUR TRESSPASSES.....

Now I know you have not been standing there praying all these years so why still all the anger ? Forgive is not a mere suggestion but a direct commandment and it please Him as well. So perhaps there is answer to why things kept going poorly for you.

Just because a persons claims to be a Christian and goes to church does not mean they have surrendered unto God. Many people think they are in right standing weith the Father and they are the ones who will hear, get away from me I never knew you, but Lord we did thisd asnd that in your name, I do not know you.

Christians are people and can walk in the flesh but to hear you claim all these many Christians all are bad and against you makes me ask, what is it about you that makes them against you ?
I could sweet talk you and sugar coat my words but then I would not be any better then those who hurt you now would I ?

Brother it is time to forgive and forget other wise the devil is going to keep you all bound up for the rest of your life.
Surrender everything unto God.......then see what becomes of your life.
Blessings are for you, simply go get them
Jim

 

[Cturtle]

Throughout my years of involvement in church and ministry I have noticed how rude, stuck-up, insensitive and even downright cruel a lot of our so-called "brothers and sisters" in Christ can be towards their own fellow believers, especially towards those who are hurting or going through hard times. For example; there was a period of 5 years in my life when nothing but bad things happened to me all at once. I decided to financially help out one of my closest Christian friends (or so I was led to believe) whom I have known since junior high. He decided to show his appreciation for my compassion towards him by totally screwing me over which caused me financial ruin which took me 5 years to recover from with the help from working a second job (which would cause a hernia). On top of that, what this guy did to me also ruined my relationship with my then girlfriend which put me in the deepest state of depression I have ever been in leaving me to spend every day of my life thinking suicidal thoughts (bearing in mind this was 3 years before I met my wife). During the darkest times of my life then, instead of showing compassion and sympathy for me like a good Christian should do, I was instead chastised by my own fellow "Christians" and judged unmercifully. These self righteous pigs would tell me that it's my fault I got screwed over because "tHe BiBlE sAyS nOt To Co SiGn FoR oThEr PeOpLe!!!" Gee Thanks a lot! While we're at it, let's walk up to a girl who has been raped and say to her "IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU GOT RAPED!!!". It absolutely sickens me to death how cruel Christians can be to their own kind. While Christians beat me to the ground and made me feel even worse about my situation, most of the compassion and sympathy I got was from unsaved friends and family. Why would any christian in the right mind ever go to someone in my situation and tell them point blank that it's "their fault" they got screwed over by a dishonest friend??? Even my own dad and in-laws think that about me!!! About a year after my ex-girlfriend dumped me, I lost my job which left me unemployed, broke and deep in debt and GOD FORBID I dare to be sad about it. *rolls eyes* I love Jesus, so apparently I'm supposed to be happy and joyful 24/7 and if I'm not, then I must not be a "true Christian". I sickens me how Christians love to beat each other down when they're hurting. I feel like I get more respect from the unsaved than I do Christians. Shouldn't it be the other way around or did I overlook the bible verse that says "blessed are those who shoot their own wounded"? All this snobby judgemental bullcrap Christians love to pull makes me want to convert to atheism. It's no wonder our unsaved friends and family think Christians are hypocrites and want nothing to do with God or the faith. Quite frankly, I can't say I blame them. And I have no doubts at least 99% of you are judging me at this very moment as you're reading this and assuming I must not be a Christian because of this rant, right?

I have to say that i have no judgement! I have been hurt by people, and it truly is sad. But brother it is time to forgive. Truly forgive. Even if you have to do it by faith. This hurt that you are carrying around is not making you healthy. It's putting a bitter taste in your mouth for those of us who really do walk in Love towards others, and who are not judgin you. We really do exist. And we love you with the Love of Christ. This bitterness is also hurting your relationship with the Father. He wants to bless and prosper you in health and such, but because of your hurt, and unforgiveness, He cannot.
Many blessing of peace and joy be yours in abundance!

 

[YosefHayim]

1 tim 3:5

 

[WIP]

I would have to agree with the need for you to forgive. I don't mean any disrespect but as I read through your post, the thought that kept coming into my mind is that it seems your intentions with helping this person might have at least partially been with the expectation that you would receive something in return, possibly in the form of appreciation or gratitude. I realize that you wanted to help and that is all well and good but the anger and resentment you've expressed toward those who have not supported your efforts seems to support what I'm talking about. Should it really matter what they think?

Jesus said that we are to give and not let our right hand know what our left hand is doing. To me this means to give and then forget about it. Whether it is receive with gratitude or disdain should not matter. Be content with the fact that you shared the love of Christ and presented yourself a witness for Him.

 

[reba]

jahjahwarrior, you asked:
Why do christians have to be such judgmental self righteous pigs?
after reading the OP you might want to ask yourself.

 

[Milk-Drops]

People in general are petty. Believe me I understand fully what you are going through. Due to a mistake I made by trusting a friend and wanting to get out of a bad family situation, I ended up homeless for a short amount of time. I then came back to my family pennyless and fell into a deep depression, abuse, forced periods of time where I'd go days without sleep, and lived in a shack without pluming or heat through the winter last year. I'm just now crawling out from it and that involved cutting friends and family out of my life for a short amount of time. I'm still fighting.

I understand the pain you are going through, I had to deal with people that thought they had all the answers and plain out just didn't understand the situation I was in, and I think its the same for you. People don't like to think that the only thing seperating them from others is a very thin line. They need to think that all bad things that happen to people is because of sin or some other aspect. Bad things happen to good people and well intention ed people all the time. Don't give up, it will get better as long as you keep going. Make yourself proud by being able to look back one day and see how far you came. Remember that people can be good or bad and communities are only as strong as their ethics.

To those who keep telling the dude to just get over it, I get it. You guys see the dude is in a lot of pain and you want what is best for him and think by telling him to get over it you are helping. You are, but I think some of you need to realize that its not that easy. When a person slips into depression or desperation, they lose aspects of their logical thinking, what can seem obvious to us looks impossible to the person suffering. The guy's world was destroyed and he lost several connections that were keeping him grounded. His trust was shaken and his community turned on him. That takes time to heal, if ever fully heals. We are very social and dependent on a concept of purpose and community. Without it we slip into depression and self destructive actions. Trust needs to be rebult, he needs to feel like someone cares, that we care.

The human mind is very fragile. It doesn't take much to break it.

 

[Obadiah]

I sure have to agree with the others above that you simply need to let go of this. I've gone through the same thing, but after 3 years???? Let it go. I think you need to do this with a lot of things because, quite frankly, I've read a lot of your posts that seem to indicate you have a lot of bitterness in your heart and you have a hard time forgiving and letting go. Calling all of us Christians "pigs" over what one person did to you just doesn't seem right to me.

 

[YosefHayim]

God, being in the flesh, trusted no man. He knew they were full of it.

But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man - John 2:24-25

Read 2 Timothy 3:1-7. In short it says the last days would be terrible, for people would be selfish and would do all these abominations, they would even have a religious look, but they denied the sanctifying power of God because they were not born again. It goes on saying that people would have tons of knowledge and would alway be learning - yet they would be blinded to the truth.

We're getting closer to the end. Jesus said the last days would be like the days of Noah.

Christ can relate.

 

[Brother Mike]

Throughout my years of involvement in church and ministry I have noticed how rude, stuck-up, insensitive and even downright cruel a lot of our so-called "brothers and sisters" in Christ can be towards their own fellow believers, especially towards those who are hurting or going through hard times. For example; there was a period of 5 years in my life when nothing but bad things happened to me all at once. I decided to financially help out one of my closest Christian friends (or so I was led to believe) whom I have known since junior high. He decided to show his appreciation for my compassion towards him by totally screwing me over which caused me financial ruin which took me 5 years to recover from with the help from working a second job (which would cause a hernia). On top of that, what this guy did to me also ruined my relationship with my then girlfriend which put me in the deepest state of depression I have ever been in leaving me to spend every day of my life thinking suicidal thoughts (bearing in mind this was 3 years before I met my wife). During the darkest times of my life then, instead of showing compassion and sympathy for me like a good Christian should do, I was instead chastised by my own fellow "Christians" and judged unmercifully. These self righteous pigs would tell me that it's my fault I got screwed over because "tHe BiBlE sAyS nOt To Co SiGn FoR oThEr PeOpLe!!!" Gee Thanks a lot! While we're at it, let's walk up to a girl who has been raped and say to her "IT'S YOUR FAULT YOU GOT RAPED!!!". It absolutely sickens me to death how cruel Christians can be to their own kind. While Christians beat me to the ground and made me feel even worse about my situation, most of the compassion and sympathy I got was from unsaved friends and family. Why would any christian in the right mind ever go to someone in my situation and tell them point blank that it's "their fault" they got screwed over by a dishonest friend??? Even my own dad and in-laws think that about me!!! About a year after my ex-girlfriend dumped me, I lost my job which left me unemployed, broke and deep in debt and GOD FORBID I dare to be sad about it. *rolls eyes* I love Jesus, so apparently I'm supposed to be happy and joyful 24/7 and if I'm not, then I must not be a "true Christian". I sickens me how Christians love to beat each other down when they're hurting. I feel like I get more respect from the unsaved than I do Christians. Shouldn't it be the other way around or did I overlook the bible verse that says "blessed are those who shoot their own wounded"? All this snobby judgemental bullcrap Christians love to pull makes me want to convert to atheism. It's no wonder our unsaved friends and family think Christians are hypocrites and want nothing to do with God or the faith. Quite frankly, I can't say I blame them. And I have no doubts at least 99% of you are judging me at this very moment as you're reading this and assuming I must not be a Christian because of this rant, right?

Well, Here's the deal. Everything that happens to me I take responsibility for. When the State wanted to lock me up for a year for something screwed up in the law and for something I did no wrong or even broke a law, I still took responsibilty for the outcome.

When my son contracted cancer, it did not seem fair, did not seem right, but I deal with the same devil everyone else has to deal with. I took responsibility for the outcome.

When I just got fired from my job recently because of a long past criminal record they said would not even be considered past 10 years (17 year old felony) I took responsibility for that also though it put us behind financially. I Ignored the Holy Spirit on something when filling out the follow up application and it came back 2 months later and they just let me go.

I take responsibility because God has never let me down, and He is faithful to lead me out of temptation and all evil. Not only that, but He will perfect all that concerns me.

I am responsible for doing what He says do, believing what He says and being led by the Holy Spirit.

If we are the sons of God, we are led by the Spirit of God.

With all this help, I am without excuse to stay miserable, or consider bad things that happened to me. God has not one time not helped me when I ignored him and it ended bad, and when things have just happened.

Job 36:11 kjv+ If they obey and serve him, they shall spend their days in prosperity, and their years in pleasures.

Rom 8:14 kjv+ For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.

Now if you obeyed God and served him. If you sought the Lord and the Holy Spirit told you to co-sign and still ended up in this mess then the scripture must be wrong.

Otherwise, you need to learn how to hear God, obey him, have faith that God can fix and restore back what you messed up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Without faith you can't please God, and your post is full of unbelief. How can you be supprised at the way things have gone?

God has fixed everything I messed up, everything I ignorned him on, everything I did not take time to get his wisdom, everytime I just disobeyed, and all the things that were not even my fault. God fixed them.

What He did for me, He can do for you.

 

[WIP]

People in general are petty. Believe me I understand fully what you are going through. Due to a mistake I made by trusting a friend and wanting to get out of a bad family situation, I ended up homeless for a short amount of time. I then came back to my family pennyless and fell into a deep depression, abuse, forced periods of time where I'd go days without sleep, and lived in a shack without pluming or heat through the winter last year. I'm just now crawling out from it and that involved cutting friends and family out of my life for a short amount of time. I'm still fighting.

I understand the pain you are going through, I had to deal with people that thought they had all the answers and plain out just didn't understand the situation I was in, and I think its the same for you. People don't like to think that the only thing seperating them from others is a very thin line. They need to think that all bad things that happen to people is because of sin or some other aspect. Bad things happen to good people and well intention ed people all the time. Don't give up, it will get better as long as you keep going. Make yourself proud by being able to look back one day and see how far you came. Remember that people can be good or bad and communities are only as strong as their ethics.

To those who keep telling the dude to just get over it, I get it. You guys see the dude is in a lot of pain and you want what is best for him and think by telling him to get over it you are helping. You are, but I think some of you need to realize that its not that easy. When a person slips into depression or desperation, they lose aspects of their logical thinking, what can seem obvious to us looks impossible to the person suffering. The guy's world was destroyed and he lost several connections that were keeping him grounded. His trust was shaken and his community turned on him. That takes time to heal, if ever fully heals. We are very social and dependent on a concept of purpose and community. Without it we slip into depression and self destructive actions. Trust needs to be rebult, he needs to feel like someone cares, that we care.

The human mind is very fragile. It doesn't take much to break it.

Advising to forgive is not the same as just saying, "Get over it." I understand how you may not quite hear it the way we mean it since I see you are not a Christian. When I am advising jahjahwarrior that he needs to forgive I'm telling him to leave at the foot of the cross. Give it to Jesus. Don't hold it inside. Keeping things bottled up inside does nobody any good and eventually tears us apart. This is why Jesus commands us to forgive each other. It is what is best.

Nobody, even Jesus, said it would be easy. It is very difficult to do at times. I recall when I went through a period of depression. It wasn't until I finally forgave that I healed.

 

[Milk-Drops]

Advising to forgive is not the same as just saying, "Get over it."

WIP I didn't adress you specifically and I know who I was talking to, I just don't think its my place to do a call out.

understand how you may not quite hear it the way we mean it since I see you are not a Christian.

Don't talk down to me. Belive it or not I was trying to advise Jahjahwarrior from personal experience.

When I am advising jahjahwarrior that he needs to forgive I'm telling him to leave at the foot of the cross. Give it to Jesus. Don't hold it inside. Keeping things bottled up inside does nobody any good and eventually tears us apart. This is why Jesus commands us to forgive each other. It is what is best.

Well I also was addressing the point that any group can be judgmental. I gave him advice he could also use alongside yours. We can't say whats best for jahjah unless we know the full story, but so far we just have a small part. We can both give him wisdom but its up to him to apply it.

Nobody, even Jesus, said it would be easy. It is very difficult to do at times. I recall when I went through a period of depression. It wasn't until I finally forgave that I healed.

The healing period is different for different people. He needs to let go of his anger, but he might not be ready. Right now he seems to be in the searching and calls for help period.

Don't talk down to me, I don't need to be a Christian to understand or see that someone is in trouble and give my 2 cents.

 

[Obadiah]

...Don't talk down to me, I don't need to be a Christian to understand or see that someone is in trouble and give my 2 cents.

I don't think anyone was talking down to you at all. You put in your profile that you are not a Christian, so that is what we have to go by. If you are not a Christian we simply can't assume you understand what it is like to apply one of the more difficult Christian principle to your life.

 

[hallowbonnie]

I wish what you were saying wasnt true but I have learned also that it is.Man you really learn in your darkest times who is really for you and who just sees you as less than,an inconvenience or an interruption(and most of this came from my blood related family) .That only person for me is God so I just caved into him and let him heal me and continue to.

 

[jasonc]

Obadiah, this situation should in part have some familiarity with a member that was gone for a bit and nearly took his life.