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Why is divorce never allowed?

Drew said:
Greetings FOC:

Can make a case that "porneia" only refers to physical acts in the context of the Matthew divorce teaching?
Given the CONTEXT, not your conjecture, on the use of porneia throughout the NT, Id say it is painfully clear Jesus is refering to the ACT of sexual immorality....He is not making His comment that you refer to as some new ability to read others thoughts and judge them on those instead of their acts.

I would think this would be challenging in light of Jesus' teaching about how lustful thoughts are to count as adultery - to me, He seems to be very clearly saying that the thought and the act have the same status - they are both acts of adultery.
That ONLY works in your mind because you are taking things out of the context they are meant in.

"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. "
(Mat 5:27-28 KJV)

''in his heart'' not just in his actions.
GOD deals with our hearts.... we only deal with ACTIONs.

By your ideas we should be condeming everyone who has ''wanted'' to steal but never has.
Or putting to death those who have THOUGHT about another woman while married.
Both ideas are preposterous....WE dont judge according to what we believe a man to be thinking, nor has permission been given to do so.




As such, it would seem to follow that the exemption applies to both "physical" and "mental" acts of adultery (since certainly pornea includes adultery).
This little game isnt going to work

Im a ''show me" kind of guy.
SHOW ME where porneia is meant as and condemned as a thought instead of an act.

When you can do so, then you'll have a point and we will then be able to understand the exception clause as including the thoughts of a man instead of just his actions.

I cannot remember a single instance where porneia is used in a way as to judge a mans heart and not just his actions.

Youll be doing us a huge favor if you can produce such a passage as that would mean that our Lord WAS including more than the act of sexual sin in His exception...something I suspect anyway.


Is there something about the meaning of the word "pornea" that allows us to say that Jesus is only talking about physical acts,
absolutely..its called ''context''

we see how the word is used as a whole throughout the text.
What we dont do is make up NEW meanings to fit our doctrines.

and that we are therefore justified in excluding lustful thoughts from the scope of the meaning of the word "pornea"?
Since God alone knows the hearts of men, lusting in his heart is for God alone to deal with...WE deal with actions.

Unless of course you are ready to jail the man who THINKS about stealing or killing.....which is absurd.....we deal with ACTIONs
 
I think the context argument only strengthens my point. Here is the text from Matthew up to and including the divorce teaching:

"27"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
31"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

Jesus has just finished talking about how thinking lustful thoughts is equivalent to adultery. He then immediately goes into His divorce teaching that contains the famous exception. So the context is clearly one where the mental act and the physical act have been shown to be essentially equivalent. I understand that word "pornea" is the actual Greek word used in the exception teaching and I further understand that there is general agreement that the word refers to sexual sin in general.

Of course, Delicate argues that Jesus is talking about sexual sin during the betrothal period. I have not examined the arguments for this, so I have no comment on this matter.

Since Jesus' delivery of the famous teaching with the exception clause immediately follow his teaching that lustful thoughts = adultery, I just do not see how one can argue that the reference to pornea is just to physical acts. Literally moments before He delivers the "exception" teaching, He has said that the mental act is equivalent is equivalent to the physical act. So context has established that an exception for physical adultery means an exception for "mental" adultery as well.

You also make statements like the folllowing one:
Since God alone knows the hearts of men, lusting in his heart is for God alone to deal with...WE deal with actions.
It seems to me that you are arguing that since we only can know actions and not the heart, we cannot say that the exeption clause applies to thoughts. But what we know is not the issue. What qualifies one to use the exception clause is what God knows - the sinfulness of our actions are determined by God, not men. So the fact that we do not know the heart does not matter - if God allows for remarriage of the innocent party following a divorce caused by physical adultery by the guilty party, He surely must allow remarriage of the innocent party following a divorce caused by "mental adultery" of the innocent party.

Why? Because seconds before delivering the exception based on pornea, Jesus has equated physical and mental adultery. So if pornea includes physical adultery, as I believe you hold to be the case, it must also include mental adultery, especially by virtue of the context - Jesus had just drawn this equivalence before delivering the exception teaching.
 
Drew said:
I think the context argument only strengthens my point. Here is the text from Matthew up to and including the divorce teaching:
Then as I said, you need to start applying your new, never-heard-of-in-christianity-before, concept of prosecuting people for crimes they have not yet committed but are only thinking of doing.

Im sorry, but ANY unwillingness to do so would make you hypocritical if you only seem to want to do it in this one area.



Jesus has just finished talking about how thinking lustful thoughts is equivalent to adultery.
And seemingly you missed His point altogether.
Jesus used the ONE thing that we ALL have an issue with.....sexual desire....to show that sin originates in the HEART.

He was NOT giving us license to condemn a person BEFORE they commit a crime.

THIS is why I persist so adamantly against you folks.


He then immediately goes into His divorce teaching that contains the famous exception.
Irrelevant.
That whole passages youre speaking of before is a cornucopia of little proverb-like teachings...shall we add those to the complete teaching in Matthew 19 as well?

As I have said two or three times now, if youre not willing to use your new teaching to condemn ALL men and women for thinking things that break the 10 commmandments, then neither does this passage give you right to judge ANYONE BEFORE they have commited a crime.

GOD judges the heart.
Please tell me what denomination you are so I make sure never to pass thru the doors of a church that is now justifying judging a man who has committed no crime yet....but only in thought.




So the context is clearly one where the mental act and the physical act have been shown to be essentially equivalent. I understand that word "pornea" is the actual Greek word used in the exception teaching and I further understand that there is general agreement that the word refers to sexual sin in general.
Again, WHEN you can show that the word porneia EVER included the THOUGHTS of a man, Im all ears....until then all you are doing is trying to justify a teaching that NO christian as EVER been permitted of before.....judging someone on their thoughts.

This is either an absurd attempt at making divorce easy again OR and absurd attempt at refuting Jesus exception....either way it IS absurd, I assure you.

This is the kind of thinking Id bet caused the witchhunts.



Of course, Delicate argues that Jesus is talking about sexual sin during the betrothal period. I have not examined the arguments for this, so I have no comment on this matter.
Of course she does as the facts destroy her doctrine.

Delicate cant deal with the facts that even IF it were speaking only of the betrothal period it would STILL be a great contradiction.....because folks like delicate dont seem to get it that ''betrothed'' IS married.....just as much as consummated marriage is.........OHTERWISE......our Lord was born without an earthly father and thus ILLEGITIMATE lawfully ....something the Jews would have had a field day over.



Since Jesus' delivery of the famous teaching with the exception clause immediately follow his teaching that lustful thoughts = adultery, I just do not see how one can argue that the reference to pornea is just to physical acts

You can always tell a false teaching by the fact that no one in christianity ever seemed to see it before....until you come on the scene.

Ever hear of men being condemned for their thinking of stealing?
Probably not.

I can tell you one thing, youre really helping my cause here.
Christians KNOW we dont condemn a person for thinking about a crime...our thoughts are for God alone to deal with.
So when you present this type of logic it only makes folks see the extremes that some of you are willing to go to....not good for your arguements for sure.
And not being able to show that christianity has ever permitted this type of thing...or ever understood things as you are trying to present make it look like you are telling us you have found the ''right' way denied the church for 2 millenia.
again, not good.


Literally moments before He delivers the "exception" teaching, He has said that the mental act is equivalent is equivalent to the physical act. So context has established that an exception for physical adultery means an exception for "mental" adultery as well.

Irrelevant.
Jesus internalizing sin does NOT give you the right to divorce your spouse over their thoughts anymore than you are permitted to condemn a man for thinking about stealing.

your line of reasoning will hopefully keep you from ever becoming anyone of authority in the church.
:

It seems to me that you are arguing that since we only can know actions and not the heart, we cannot say that the exeption clause applies to thoughts.

YOU are the first person ever in all the debates Ive been in on this topic with a LOT of different denomination to EVER pull this type of stunt.

That ''ought'' to tell you something...but something deep down inside me tells me that you wont care about the fact that NONE of your brethren, even those DO believe in frivolous divorce, have EVER taught this kind of nonesense.



But what we know is not the issue. What qualifies one to use the exception clause is what God knows - the sinfulness of our actions are determined by God, not men.
huh........then I suppose JESUS...One who DOES know the heart, will have to do the filing of divorce then.

So the fact that we do not know the heart does not matter - if God allows for remarriage of the innocent party following a divorce caused by physical adultery by the guilty party, He surely must allow remarriage of the innocent party following a divorce caused by "mental adultery" of the innocent party.
Not for ''thoughts'', no way.
THIS is the kind of doctrine that DOES allow ''for any cause'' divorce again and is NOT in agreement with our Lords words ''except for sexual immorality'' that ONLY shows sexual ACTS...not thoughts.


WHEN you can prove that the context of porneia included thoughts, THEN you may have a point...until then you are using a teaching that was only meant to show that sin is a heart-thing to justify easy divorce.


Why? Because seconds before delivering the exception based on pornea, Jesus has equated physical and mental adultery.
Irrelevant.
Jesus words were rendered into greek as ''porneia''.
You will have to prove that that word was used to condemn the thoughts of a man or woman...

And agian, you WILL have to use this silliness uniformly and condemn ALL sinful thoughts without action or you make yourself a hypocrit.

So if pornea includes physical adultery, as I believe you hold to be the case, it must also include mental adultery, especially by virtue of the context - Jesus had just drawn this equivalence before delivering the exception teaching.
and Oddly this is not taught, even among the liberal christians I have ever read or talked to.

I wonder why THEY all missed it ???
 
This passage in the same chapter in Matthew here is quite similar in context to the one you are trying to push....

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment:
But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
(Mat 5:21-22 KJV)

Jesus shows that the ACT of killing now is similar to just being angry with a brother.

So..are you going to take this to its extreme as well and condemn a person who is angry with his brother and judge him as one who has mudered someone ?

come on now. show some consistancy here....say yes.

are YOU going to punish someone who uses the word ''fool'' ?

By your logic you must.
 
Greetings FOC and others:

Let me deal with one of your objections.

You keep talking as if it is up to us to "condemn" a person:

Then as I said, you need to start applying your new, never-heard-of-in-christianity-before, concept of prosecuting people for crimes they have not yet committed but are only thinking of doing
He was NOT giving us license to condemn a person BEFORE they commit a crime.
Please tell me what denomination you are so I make sure never to pass thru the doors of a church that is now justifying judging a man who has committed no crime yet....but only in thought
It is not up to us to determine whether people have sinned, it is up to God. And Jesus clearly states that thoughts are sufficient to condemn a man:

"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment."

"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart"

So thoughts do convict us in the eyes of God - thoughts do count as sin. And in the application of the "exception" clause about divorce and remarriage, whether or not we sin in divorce/remarriage is not determined by us, but by God. So if God says that divorce is justified for sexual immorality, and if thoughts of adultery count as sexual immorality (given what Jesus says, I think it would be hard to argue otherwise), then it seems hard to argue that divorce and remarriage cannot be justified just based on a spouse having such thoughts.

To restrict the exemption to acts of sexual immoralitly seems to ignore Jesus' clear teaching that thoughts are just as sinful as acts - and interestingly enough, this "thoughts = acts" teaching is delivered right before the delivery of the exception clause.
 
Drew said:
Greetings FOC and others:

Let me deal with one of your objections.

You keep talking as if it is up to us to "condemn" a person:
No..YOU keep speaking that it is up to US to condemn the person....every time you make it sound like WE can file a divorce over the thoughts of a spouse.

You DO understand that divorce would be to condemn or ''punish'' them, correct?





So thoughts do convict us in the eyes of God - thoughts do count as sin.
Are you or I God now?
No, we arent.

God will deal with the spouse who THINKS about whoring.
Divorce and remarriage is only permissible for porneia....the act of sexual sin.

All you twists and turns are not going to change Matt 19 and what it clearly states.

And in the application of the "exception" clause about divorce and remarriage, whether or not we sin in divorce/remarriage is not determined by us, but by God.

Your maze of logic is most confounding.
The ''application'' of the exception clause is for ''porneia'' ...sexual immorality.
You will HAVE to prove that porneia INCLUDES thoughts or your argument is entirely moot.



So if God says that divorce is justified for sexual immorality, and if thoughts of adultery count as sexual immorality (given what Jesus says, I think it would be hard to argue otherwise), then it seems hard to argue that divorce and remarriage cannot be justified just based on a spouse having such thoughts.
Im about to put you on ignore.
repeating this same thing over and over is not something Im about to do all day here with you.l

I just gave you another passage from the SAME chapter of Matt.
If you arent willing to judge/condmn/whatever....a man who is angry with his brother then you ARE a hypocrit IF you only apply this absurdity to adultery.



To restrict the exemption to acts of sexual immoralitly seems to ignore Jesus' clear teaching that thoughts are just as sinful as acts - and interestingly enough, this "thoughts = acts" teaching is delivered right before the delivery of the exception clause.
Then YOU ignore Jesus that killing someone is pretty much as punishable as being angry with them, dont you?
 
To restrict the exemption to acts of sexual immoralitly seems to ignore Jesus' clear teaching that thoughts are just as sinful as acts - and interestingly enough, this "thoughts = acts" teaching is delivered right before the delivery of the exception clause.

And it was just shown to you that that chapter in Matthew has quite a few teachings.

The passage I quoted, along with yours and some others there.



Lets look at the WHOLE passage, shall we?
Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison. Verily I say unto thee, Thou shalt by no means come out thence, till thou hast paid the uttermost farthing.

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths: But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne: Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black. But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.

Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.


(Mat 5 )

If YOUR eye offends YOU then YOU pluck it out...

There is no permission there for you to pluck out your wives eye.
Jesus was internalizing sin, making it a heart thing.

Then He hits on divorce and remarriage.
This passage is like the psalms in a manner that it has quite a few points being made.
That He internalizes sin (which would make sense if youd study up on the Jews a bit) has no bearing on your being able to divorce your wife for her thoughts.

Nor has the church ever been permitted to do so.

That doesnt license YOU to divorce a wife over her random thoughts

Id strongly urge you to READ the WHOLE chapter of Matt 5.
Seemingly you are missing the point.
 
Drew...I have a question that I ''hope'' you will answer honestly and openly.

with your presentation I have concluded you are attempting one of two things.

Either you are legitimately trying to present that ''porneia'' includes the thoughts of a man based on Jesus internalizing sin...

OR

You are against divorce and remarriage for ALL reasons and are only attempting to build a strawman so you can tear it down to try to prove that divorce and remarriage is never permissible.



will you be so kind as to tell me/us which of these two is the case?

This way, if it IS a legitimate line of logic you are trying to follow, I can let down my guard a bit and just talk to you.

You have to bear in mind I am in these debates on a daily basis and have to watch for ANY distortion of scripture on the matter.

*IF* you are permitted to twist the scripture you are trying to, and I dont set it straight but agree with you, then I make the cause of divorce and remarriage for what CHRIST has allowed a mockery.



If you would clue me in it would help.

My question as to your motivation lies in your first post on page 7.
When you said my interpretation was ''liberal'' it makes me believe that you DONT believe that divorce is permissable for fornication and are only attempting to build a strawman here with this line of thought
 
follower of Christ said:
Drew...I have a question that I ''hope'' you will answer honestly and openly.

with your presentation I have concluded you are attempting one of two things.

Either you are legitimately trying to present that ''porneia'' includes the thoughts of a man based on Jesus internalizing sin...

OR

You are against divorce and remarriage for ALL reasons and are only attempting to build a strawman so you can tear it down to try to prove that divorce and remarriage is never permissible.

My question as to your motivation lies in your first post on page 7.
When you said my interpretation was ''liberal'' it makes me believe that you DONT believe that divorce is permissable for fornication and are only attempting to build a strawman here with this line of thought
I have no secrets here.....

My position is much more aligned with the first alternative. I am "legitimately trying to present that ''porneia'' includes the thoughts of a man based on Jesus internalizing sin..." I most definitely do not agree that the claim that "divorce and remarriage is never permissible." So I do believe that divorce and remarriage is permissible for fornication. What's more, I am inclined to think that it is permissible for other reasons as well - reasons other than the traditional "big two" - fornication and desertion.

However, I am open to being convinced that the exception clause really only refers to the betrothal period as Delicate is contending. I will say, however, that I do not think it is likely that her arguments will be convincing to me. The only reason I say this is that one particular scholar I am aware of (and am inclined to respect) does not hold the view that Delicate does.

At the end of the day, my position is probably more liberal than yours (strangely enough, since you seem to have thought I was coming from a more restrictive position). My general thoughts are that "moral codes" and "laws" do not work in prescribing human behaviour - we must ultimately go with Jesus' words from Matthew 22:

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.""

As you know by now, I think that the exception clause is so "loose" as to be almost useless - almost anyone can claim it. That does not sit well with me - I cannot believe that divorce and remarriage is OK in all situations.

So I think that each case of divorce and remarriage cannot be settled by applying "rules", but needs to be looked at from the issue of the call to be loving - what is the most loving thing to do. This position will no doubt inspire much disagreement, possibly from yourself, and most certainly from Delicate, if not others.

I hope this clarifies things.
 
Drew said:
[
I have no secrets here.....

My position is much more aligned with the first alternative. I am "legitimately trying to present that ''porneia'' includes the thoughts of a man based on Jesus internalizing sin..." I most definitely do not agree that the claim that "divorce and remarriage is never permissible." So I do believe that divorce and remarriage is permissible for fornication. What's more, I am inclined to think that it is permissible for other reasons as well - reasons other than the traditional "big two" - fornication and desertion
Then I apologize for allowing the first post you made to set the tone of this discussion.
It did sound like you were building a strawman with your line of quesioning.
Ive seen this type of tactic many times, so I just assumed you were doing the same.
Please overlook much of my ''tone'' in the last few posts.

The word porneia does mean literal sexual sin.
But the issue is that it also alludes to idolatry as well, so it is ''possible'' that Jesus was including other items as well.

Personally I dont buy the idea of divorcing over the thoughts of a person. There isnt anything in scripture to back that idea.

BUT.....we do have the desertion issue where it is shown that the person is no longer bound to the deserter.

Taking that as simply as possible..knowing that ''one flesh'' is sex (1 Corin 6:16) and not some unbreakable bond...and also accepting the fact that marriage is NOT an UNconditional covenant (by Jesus own words ''except" and also Paul stating that the believer isnt bound to the deserter... we start to see a fuller picture of what is being said)

I have to watch every word in this debates as some like a poster here will jump at any chance, valid or not, to take those words and use them for their own purpose.
Something Ive learned to reciprocate.



However, I am open to being convinced that the exception clause really only refers to the betrothal period as Delicate is contending.
Good luck with that one.
It takes too much reading between the lines and completely dismissing what Jewish betrothal is.....marriage....to do so.

On top of the apparent error that IF betrothal werent marriage, then Joseph would not have been seen as Jesus father....and the Jews would have surely been able to prove Him not the messiah in the eyes of the masses.

I hit on many of the absurdites of this doctrine on my site on this issue of betrothal.
It only takes a few moments of study to find the many errors.



I will say, however, that I do not think it is likely that her arguments will be convincing to me. The only reason I say this is that one particular scholar I am aware of (and am inclined to respect) does not hold the view that Delicate does.
I have heard so many variations of this doctrine and that is what caused me to really start studying it last year.

I guess one advantage I have is that I have been thru the NT more than most scholars have over the last half decade or so (200+ times and counting) so that I am able to immediately tie in one thought from one passage to any others pertaining to a topic most of the time.

After reading it so many times, and tying it in with Jewish customs and their history, lots of things Jesus says are made much more clear than what they seem at first glance.

I really wish I could express the importance of MUCH study to folks BEFORE they start playing teacher. Its always very easy to tell who has and who hasnt.

I had one woman blow up on me on Christianforums.com because she could not respond to even the simplest of questions pertaining to the bible..... yet was very adamant about this anti-remarraige doctrine.

She gave her motivations away when I found that she had put away a husband over this doctrine......so if she finds out shes wrong now, it means she put him away without just cause and that she was duped to begin with....something not many are willing to deal with.

I am in agreement with you on the desertion thing for sure.
Not being ''bound'' to that person shows me that we are ''free'' of them and that union.

Jesus in the exception clause is talking to a group of Jewish men who had been permitted for centuries to divorce ''for any cause''.
In my understanding Jesus is basically telling them that they were permitted to divorce because Moses had determined that thier hardheartedness might even cause them to kill a wife.....something that study shows happened.
Moses chose the lesser of two evils....unjustified divorce.

Jesus returns this to the way it should have been....ONLY for an actual breaking of the covenant....something easily defined in the OT in passages like Deut 22 (sexual sin in this case)

But there are also passages in the OT where it is shown that man MUST provide for his wife.....this idea is repeated very well in the NT too..
1Ti 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Is letting a wife starve a valid reason for divorce as well?
Only the Lord knows.
Surely lets not jump at the first opportunity...but IF the woman is going to die, then she should separate.



At the end of the day, my position is probably more liberal than yours (strangely enough, since you seem to have thought I was coming from a more restrictive position). My general thoughts are that "moral codes" and "laws" do not work in prescribing human behaviour - we must ultimately go with Jesus' words from Matthew 22:
My apologies.....I really thought your ''liberal'' position was just to build a strawman here.


As you know by now, I think that the exception clause is so "loose" as to be almost useless - almost anyone can claim it. That does not sit well with me - I cannot believe that divorce and remarriage is OK in all situations.
If we keep it narrowed to the actual meaning of the word porneia, that is a start.
If we accept that anything WORSE that porneia is also just cause (attempted murder of a spouse, abuse, etc), then I think we are in line with the ''spirit'' of the law, especially given the passage I just quoted....

1Ti 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.


So I think that each case of divorce and remarriage cannot be settled by applying "rules", but needs to be looked at from the issue of the call to be loving - what is the most loving thing to do. This position will no doubt inspire much disagreement, possibly from yourself, and most certainly from Delicate, if not others.
I do think we need rules, Jesus and Paul gave those rules for a reason.
But I do think that there is a lot of scripture (such as 1 Tim 5:8) to show that there is much more to this picture than many want to see.

We have become rules lawyers, straining at a gnat, pushing the precise letter of the law as WE want to see it, then defiling the passage you quoted about love.


I read one article where the man said there is nothing in scripture that allows a wife who is being savagely beaten and raped by her husband the right to leave him.
He then quotes all these passages about CHRISTIANS enduring persecution from the WORLD as his arguement.
He obviously believes it is ok to defile Gods holy union of marriage with abuse.

Id rather take my chances with a forgiving God rather than these heartless animals we call men sometimes.

I hope this clarifies things.
It does.
Thanks for clarifying
 
Then I apologize for allowing the first post you made to set the tone of this discussion. It did sound like you were building a strawman with your line of quesioning. Ive seen this type of tactic many times, so I just assumed you were doing the same. Please overlook much of my ''tone'' in the last few posts.
No problemo.

As I am sure you can understand, adopting a stance such as mine does not sit well with those who argue that the conditions for legitimate divorce and remarriage are clearly spelled out. I just think those position are ultimately unworkable. I think also of Jesus words in Matt 12:

1At that time Jesus went through the grainfields on the Sabbath. His disciples were hungry and began to pick some heads of grain and eat them. 2When the Pharisees saw this, they said to him, "Look! Your disciples are doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath."
3He answered, "Haven't you read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? 4He entered the house of God, and he and his companions ate the consecrated breadâ€â€which was not lawful for them to do, but only for the priests. 5Or haven't you read in the Law that on the Sabbath the priests in the temple desecrate the day and yet are innocent? 6I tell you that one[a] greater than the temple is here. 7If you had known what these words mean, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the innocent. 8For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath."

These words suggest to me that Jesus believes that codes and rules are never the last word in deciding whether something is sin or not.
 
Drew said: These words suggest to me that Jesus believes that codes and rules are never the last word in deciding whether something is sin or not.

Hi Drew- Agree to an extent. The pharisees had created a horrible burden of man-made law. Man made law is something entirely different from what JESUS commands. In posting this scripture you imply that those who embrace Jesus' commands on d/r are 'adding to' law. And this simply is not true. Jesus is clear in HIS command found in Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, and Luke 16:18. Just so the 'exception clause in Matt. doesn't throw you- again, in studying scripture the author of the book and WHO it is written to adds much to it's interpretation. And the fact that Matthew is writing primarily to the Jews, the 'exception clause' speaks to the Jewish custom of betrothal. (Remember, Paul diffenerentiated who his primary 'audience' was, as did Peter.) So, the jews understood the exception clause of Matt. to mean what it does: that if a man divorces his wife (who was virgin at consummation) and marries another- he commits adultry, AND causes HER (the innocent one) to commit adultry if she remarries. Mark and Luke back this up.

Please have a look at this site: http://www.marriagedivorce.com . Very biblical in their approach.
 
Drew said:
As I am sure you can understand, adopting a stance such as mine does not sit well with those who argue that the conditions for legitimate divorce and remarriage are clearly spelled out.
I agree for the most part.
Any ''christian'' who would tell me that a woman who was beaten and abandoned 10 years back by some dog of a man, that she cannot marry now, is just plain blind to the spirit of the law entirely.
Paul and Christ were both trying to end frivolous divorce and abuse of it... not damning the innocent to a lifetime of miserable celebacy over the sins of a past spouse.

but you cant tell them that.... they seemingly wish to hide in their 3 verses that dont give the whole picture.


1At that time Jesus went through the grainfields on the Sabbath. His disciples were hungry and began to pick some heads of grain and eat them. 2When the Pharisees saw this, they said to him, "Look! Your disciples are doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath."
3He answered, "Haven't you read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? 4He entered the house of God, and he and his companions ate the consecrated breadâ€â€which was not lawful for them to do, but only for the priests. 5Or haven't you read in the Law that on the Sabbath the priests in the temple desecrate the day and yet are innocent? 6I tell you that one[a] greater than the temple is here. 7If you had known what these words mean, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the innocent. 8For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath."

Exactly....I desire MERCY....not sacrifice.

" I wanted love and kindness.....and Id take that OVER adherance to these laws"

Ive given that passage to a great many of these folks.
YOu know, not ONE has ever told me what they believe that passage to be saying....even tho I ask them over and again.
They refuse to accept lots of things the bible teaches on these matters...just so they can hold to this pharisaical type of dispensing of a law they clearly dont even understand.

Our Lord was not some heartless tyrant that MOST of these folks make Him to be.
He wanted marriage to be what it was intended to be....but He was not damning the innocent to a lifetime of horror at the hands of a brute animal.

These words suggest to me that Jesus believes that codes and rules are never the last word in deciding whether something is sin or not.
If one looks at ''I desired mercy and not sacrifice''' and see what was going on when Jesus said them...we can conclude that NECESSITY permits a man to sometimes step outside the normal boundries of the law and not be condemned.

Such as David did when he was hungry. He took forbidden break and ate...something UNLAWFUL for him to do.

But he didnt do it in defiance of God or the law....he did it because he, and the men with him, needed to eat.

Compare this with Adam and Eves outright defiance of Gods words and without any need whatsoever.



I must apologize to you again.
I really thought you were trying to lead me down a maze of illogic there for a bit.

Seemingly you have understood more one these matters than most I debate with.
Bringing up the passage you did realyy confirms that in my mind.

God bless
 
Delicate said:
Hi Drew- Agree to an extent. The pharisees had created a horrible burden of man-made law. Man made law is something entirely different from what JESUS commands. In posting this scripture you imply that those who embrace Jesus' commands on d/r are 'adding to' law. And this simply is not true. Jesus is clear in HIS command found in Matthew 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, and Luke 16:18.
This is not entiely true.
The phaisees bigger issue was that they seemingly were upholding the law in view of the world, but were altogether different in their hearts.

Jesus gave His commands....and He also made one simple exception.
You dont have to like it, you just have to accept it.



Just so the 'exception clause in Matt. doesn't throw you- again, in studying scripture the author of the book and WHO it is written to adds much to it's interpretation.
Oh really?
So we can apply this logic to ALL scripture then?
There are at least THREE different accounts at who was at the empty tomb....do you believe that THREE different stories were being passed around? THREE different accounts of it ?

hardly.
It makes NO difference WHO it was written to.
Each man recorded the details he thought was most relevant and important.




And the fact that Matthew is writing primarily to the Jews, the 'exception clause' speaks to the Jewish custom of betrothal.
And yet oddly enough, not a single word acutally alludes to that.

Not a single reason to believe that Jesus picked ONE of the THREE instances of sexual immorality from Deut 22 instead of all three.



(Remember, Paul diffenerentiated who his primary 'audience' was, as did Peter.)
I guess that means anything written to Jews is something we can just overlook then?
The BIBLE is written to the CHURCH.......JEW or GENTILE!!!

So, the jews understood the exception clause of Matt. to mean what it does: that if a man divorces his wife (who was virgin at consummation) and marries another- he commits adultry, AND causes HER (the innocent one) to commit adultry if she remarries. Mark and Luke back this up.
:-D

No they dont... and if you actaully took the time to READ it properly, youd see that the conflict exists EVEN IF it were ONLY speaking of what you say it does.
If it WERE only speaking of unlawful betrothal sex, it would STILL outright contradict the other passages....
YOu just dont want to accept that.

Jesus gave an EXCEPTION to HIs rule.



Please have a look at this site: http://www.marriagedivorce.com . Very biblical in their approach.
YOUR view is that they are biblical.
Ive read that site and it is just as faulty as any other Ive seen.
 
Drew....

In my signature, if you didnt notice it yet, is a link to the website I am working on.

I only cover divorce and remarriage for ''fornication'' on that site as I wanted to stick to what I can prove absolutely there.

Ill be making another site or at least a separate page on the issue of divorce for abandonment, etc at some later point.

If you get the chance, look at delicates arguements she presents (or others of her doctrine..well, pick one of the MANY variations) then go to my site and look at the list of items there and find the one that may be relevant.

look at what she states, then compare it to my material......then do your own study of things for yourself.

One thing Ive found is that this doctrine in ALL of its greatly varied forms does not keep any sort of consistancy with historical facts.

One of the biggest lies they will perpetuate is that there is some concession for a man to put away a wife if she was not a virgin, but then she was put to death if she commited adlutery.

This is one of the more common outright LIES told by these.

both of those crimes, as well as unlawful sex during the betrothal period (what delicate is pushing) were ALL punishable by death (see Deut 22 to see if Im corrrect in this matter).

By Jesus time NONE of those were commonly punished by stoning/death partially because of Roman rules that forbad the Jews administering the death penalty without permission...hence the trips to Pilate when they wanted Jesus crucified.

Do you think the Jews would have wasted their time even bothering with Pilate *IF* they were permitted to just kill Christ on their own?
Im sure you dont.

My point is that ALL sexual sin, PREmarital, PREconsummation and POST consummation were ALL being dealt with by divorce in MOst cases by Jesus time.

These that say there is a provision to "put away'' a woman found not a virgin....but it was death for the adluteress are just simply uninformed and perpetuating a lie......or they are being outright deceptive on their own.

They are doing so in order to deceive folks into believing that there was a separate ''permission'' in the law to put away in one case, while the other called for the death penalty..... and so they make it appear like this has carried over to modern times.

It is simply a deception that not many will call them on.
But seeing that Im disabled and dont work, I have plenty of time in the day to check them on every single assertion made. Something that seems to aggitate most of this doctrine to no end.

Ive been in a debate on CARM.ORG where I finally had to have one gent shut out of the thread because when he found he was out of material, that nothing was left unrefuted....he started saying that the reason my wife had her affair was because I didnt fulfill her sexual needs.

When all else fails with these folks, just watch and see if Im right....they will start resorting to personal attacks every time. Theyll come up with some of the most insulting and irrelevant garbage youve ever seen.

I dont just mean sarcastic like I get....I mean like calling you terrible names and making personal comments that not even your enemies would make to insult you.
This is because they only have so much to argue their points and once those are exhausted, being completely refuted, they feel exacerbated and thus strike out in frustration....not christlike at all.

anyway, take a look at my site and compare it to what delicate and her kind tell you ...... compare my assertions to the FACTS and to the plain words of the bible and see if theyre not true.


God bless
 
Greetings Delicate (and others):

I will have a look at the site you referred to. As I think you will have realized, my present position on the divorce / remarriage issue is more "liberal" than either your position or that of FOC. I do not think that I am suggesting that those who embrace Jesus' teaching on d/r are "adding to the law". I am instead suggesting that the law needs to always yield to considerations of what is most loving - I defend such a view by referring to what Jesus says in Matthew 22 about how all the law hang on the principle of love. I take this to mean that each situation needs to be looked at in terms of what is the most loving thing to do. And sometimes this means acting in a manner that contradicts the "letter" of what Jesus says about divorce.

Lets pick an absurd example. Suppose Fred is mentally disoriented because of some prescription drugs he is taking. Fred has a longtime girlfriend Sally and they are both planning on marriage to each other. However, Fred meets Jane at a party, and because his judgment is severely clouded, Fred does something incredibly dumb - He takes Jane to Vegas and they get married. Next day, he realizes the foolishness of his actions. Is Fred "stuck" by application of Jesus' teaching on divorce? Is Sally's happiness to be taken away by this drug-induced lapse of judgement?

I think that, in accordance with what Jesus says in Matthew 12, "mercy is to prevail over law". So I do not think it is wrong for Fred to divorce Jane and then later marry Sally.

This is a silly example, but it illustrates that all "laws", even ones from the mouth of Jesus need to be subject to the higher consideration of what is most loving, which, after all, is something that Jesus also said.

I appreciate your kind tone and am happy to listen to any response you have.
 
arunangelo ...see....you ALREADY have a thread one this MDR issue.
 
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