WHY ISN'T THIS GENERATION GETTING MARRIED?

[GodsGrace]

When I married my husband (back in the caveman days) we had nothing.
We desired to live together to share our life, and we would build our life
together, but being married and not each one of us living in their parents
home, but building our own home.

What has changed?
Why does the current generation prefer to live together instead of getting married?
Is there fear, uncertainty?
What?

Why aren't young persons of today getting married?

 

[jasonc]

When I married my husband (back in the caveman days) we had nothing.
We desired to live together to share our life, and we would build our life
together, but being married and not each one of us living in their parents
home, but building our own home.

What has changed?
Why does the current generation prefer to live together instead of getting married?
Is there fear, uncertainty?
What?

Why aren't young persons of today getting married?

Honestly,you would get more aid if you aren't married

That and we'll I personally know a man who makes more then I do ,can't afford a place to live .people are look for RV parks and or trailer friendly areas because of the cost of living here.

I can buy a pull along trailer fully loaded and buy a plot of land and have electric installed and we'll water and save money . These have septic tanks in them that can be quickly pumped of attacked to a in ground septic system .

No insurance problems as I have.

 

[GodsGrace]

Honestly,you would get more aid if you aren't married

That and we'll I personally know a man who makes more then I do ,can't afford a place to live .people are look for RV parks and or trailer friendly areas because of the cost of living here.

I can buy a pull along trailer fully loaded and buy a plot of land and have electric installed and we'll water and save money . These have septic tanks in them that can be quickly pumped of attacked to a in ground septic system .

No insurance problems as I have.

Is marriage or non-marriage just about getting more money?

 

[jasonc]

Is marriage or non-marriage just about getting more money?

I didn't say I agree but truth be told .I could argue that I can have the church bless my union and not file a license .

I don't think it's right but I can't say I would want to work like I do to simply have a marriage where we don't even do much together because of the prices .

Cars now cost 2787 for a three year lease per month and that's not a luxury car .

 

[Hidden In Him]

Why aren't young persons of today getting married?

1. I think it's because many are terribly screwed up, and not adequately trained for dealing with marriage relationships, and

2. I think they have been largely swayed against marriage commitments by the media, who portray most marriages today as a sham or the road to killing the good side of a relationship off, as if it would bring a couple into bondage to one another.

Fits the globalist agenda, which is to make everyone ultimately a vassal of the State, nothing more.

 

[GodsGrace]

1. I think it's because many are terribly screwed up, and not adequately trained for dealing with marriage relationships, and

2. I think they have been largely swayed against marriage commitments by the media, who portray most marriages today as a sham or the road to killing the good side of a relationship off, as if it would bring a couple into bondage to one another.

Fits the globalist agenda, which is to make everyone ultimately a vassal of the State, nothing more.

How about the divorce rate?

 

[Hidden In Him]

How about the divorce rate?

That too, I suppose. I haven't actually checked the statistics lately, but I'm guessing divorce rates are likely increasing slowly still. Hard to stay with someone if there is very little telling you to stick it out.

But maybe that's the point you were going to make?

 

[GodsGrace]

That too, I suppose. I haven't actually checked the statistics lately, but I'm guessing divorce rates are likely increasing slowly still. Hard to stay with someone if there is very little telling you to stick it out.

But maybe that's the point you were going to make?

No. I was thinking more along the line of how all these failures might scare couples away.
How it would affect them, make all those other reasons you stated just click into place.

Last I heard the divorce rate was at about 50%.

Hope some of the younger crowd weighs in...

 

[Hidden In Him]

Hard to stay with someone if there is very little telling you to stick it out.

Found an article that somewhat supports this notion, btw. Under Premarital Cohabitation it states:

Couples who live together before marriage appear to have a higher chance of divorce if they marry, but the risk is mostly true for those who have cohabited with multiple partners. A common belief is that living together before marriage provides an opportunity to get to know each other better, but research has found those that live together before marriage have already developed some leniency towards divorce. This leniency towards divorce is what leads the couple to become high risk. However, there are some caveats to these findings. Research suggests couples who get engaged and then move in together are no longer at a high risk for future divorce. Their commitment towards marriage reduces the risk of a future divorce.

How Common is Divorce and What are the Reasons? | Your Divorce Questions

Researchers estimate that 40%-50% of all first marriages will end in divorce. Researchers have determined certain factors that put people at higher risk for divorce:

yourdivorcequestions.org

In other words, entering into relationships with a preconceived notion that they likely won't work makes divorce something of a self-fulfilled prophecy, if you will. They don't want to enter into a commitment because it might not work, and because they don't enter into a commitment it doesn't work.

 

[Hidden In Him]

No. I was thinking more along the line of how all these failures might scare couples away.
How it would affect them, make all those other reasons you stated just click into place.

Yes.

 

[Hidden In Him]

No. I was thinking more along the line of how all these failures might scare couples away.

Sister, you can take this down if you want, but it's likely no coincidence that I was discussing the following video with someone just today. What happens is that they get hurt by the world - maybe family, maybe friends in school, maybe people on the internet - so they look for someone to heal them. The pain causes them to RUSH into relationships, and often into sexual sin with others before they even know what they are doing, or have any idea what the other person is all about and how to make the relationship work. So then it fails, they become even more hurt, and seek for someone else to heal the pain, and the cycle starts all over again.

That's what this song is about. It's pretty rough, so for the grannies out there I'd say turn it down a bit, but the song is an accurate description of why people get so screwed up to begin with.

Take it down and just leave the lyrics if it's too risqué, but it goes to point.

Kings X - Alone
No one should be made to feel Alone

No one should be made to feel rejected... and to feel the pain
No one should be made to feel unwanted... and to feel the hate

Sticks and stones breaking bones
Names and words they hurt you
Effecting everything

No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody, nobody should
No one should be made to feel alone
Alone, alone

No one should be made to feel their heart break... and to feel unloved
No one should be made to feel they're ugly... and to feel ashamed

Sticks and stones breaking bones
Names and words they hurt you
Effecting everything

No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody, nobody should
No one should be made to feel alone
Should be made to feel alone
No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody, nobody, nobody
No one should be made to feel alone
Should be made to feel alone
Alone, alone, alone, alone

No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody, nobody
No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody should be made to feel alone
No one should be made to feel alone
No, no, no, oh, nobody, nobody no
No one should be made to feel alone
Nobody, nobody

 

[Marci]

Just based on what I'm seeing, we live in a throw away society. The same goes for people. Once they are no longer of value it's so long sally. I don't know about you all but I don't want to commit again to someone who isn't gonna stay. Who isn't gonna work to build a relationship. It's not worth the waste of time. Relationships are not what they used to be. And many people these days are so messed up with drugs and crime they can't be a proper mate anyway. These kids are ready to jump ship if it starts sinking. It's look out for number 1 now. I'm almost 60 and my father wishes I had a mate. I've had 2. Neither worked out and I've seen what's available and no thank you. I'd rather die alone.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Just based on what I'm seeing, we live in a throw away society. The same goes for people. Once they are no longer of value it's so long sally. I don't know about you all but I don't want to commit again to someone who isn't gonna stay. Who isn't gonna work to build a relationship. It's not worth the waste of time. Relationships are not what they used to be. And many people these days are so messed up with drugs and crime they can't be a proper mate anyway. These kids are ready to jump ship if it starts sinking. It's look out for number 1 now. I'm almost 60 and my father wishes I had a mate. I've had 2. Neither worked out and I've seen what's available and no thank you. I'd rather die alone.

I think it takes God finding the right person for us.

As I posted elsewhere in this topic, if you choose one God did not intend for you then even all the preparation and good intentions in the world may not help. But if you find the one He did intend, even without a lot of preparation or spiritual maturity things can have a way of working out.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Ugh

People do get married mostly at older ages. I’ve read that there comes a point…education and resources work against ever getting married and actually increase the likelihood of divorce…

And cohabitation is a recipe for divorce masquerading as a good idea.

Costs of everything. Education cars housing kids health care etc. less pressing to get married…less pressure to stay married…

Society as a whole has less power over people. I mean…legal system yes…sometimes psychiatric system…

But in terms of family extended family meaningful social bonds? Not a lot of that I’m afraid…

 

[Riven]

My take on this is it's because there's no benefit. Marriage used to be a valuable commodity in our society. It used to mean you were stable, dependable, and some idiot liked you enough to put a ring on your hand and say I do.

Now marriage is seen as a last resort. It's what you do when you've run out of options and you just want someone there to help pay the bills. My mother's marriage is like two roommates living together. They don't even sleep in the same bed.

I look at the situation, skeptical as I am, and I do a risk analysis. I can marry this woman and oh involve the state in my personal affairs. If it doesn't work out, she gets half. If I don't marry this woman and it doesn't work out, she gets nothing and I get to keep everything that's mine.

Savvy?

 

[Hidden In Him]

My take on this is it's because there's no benefit. Marriage used to be a valuable commodity in our society. It used to mean you were stable, dependable, and some idiot liked you enough to put a ring on your hand and say I do.

Now marriage is seen as a last resort. It's what you do when you've run out of options and you just want someone there to help pay the bills. My mother's marriage is like two roommates living together. They don't even sleep in the same bed.

I look at the situation, skeptical as I am, and I do a risk analysis. I can marry this woman and oh involve the state in my personal affairs. If it doesn't work out, she gets half. If I don't marry this woman and it doesn't work out, she gets nothing and I get to keep everything that's mine.

Savvy?

Thou hast no fear of God? Lol.

So much I could post to rub your nose in that one, but I'll refrain.

 

[Riven]

Thou hast no fear of God? Lol.

So much I could post to rub your nose in that one, but I'll refrain.

View attachment 15033

Crap.

 

[Dorothy Mae]

Just based on what I'm seeing, we live in a throw away society. The same goes for people. Once they are no longer of value it's so long sally. I don't know about you all but I don't want to commit again to someone who isn't gonna stay. Who isn't gonna work to build a relationship. It's not worth the waste of time. Relationships are not what they used to be. And many people these days are so messed up with drugs and crime they can't be a proper mate anyway. These kids are ready to jump ship if it starts sinking. It's look out for number 1 now. I'm almost 60 and my father wishes I had a mate. I've had 2. Neither worked out and I've seen what's available and no thank you. I'd rather die alone.

You know, my dad used to say better to be single and wished you were married than married and wished you were single

 

[Dorothy Mae]

My take on this is it's because there's no benefit. Marriage used to be a valuable commodity in our society. It used to mean you were stable, dependable, and some idiot liked you enough to put a ring on your hand and say I do.

Now marriage is seen as a last resort. It's what you do when you've run out of options and you just want someone there to help pay the bills. My mother's marriage is like two roommates living together. They don't even sleep in the same bed.

I look at the situation, skeptical as I am, and I do a risk analysis. I can marry this woman and oh involve the state in my personal affairs. If it doesn't work out, she gets half. If I don't marry this woman and it doesn't work out, she gets nothing and I get to keep everything that's mine.

Savvy?

Use to be that a man had to marry a women to be able to sleep with her. It provided security for her and any children that result. Now women are foolish enough to not think about the future but only “tonight”. So any children that come she can raise by herself. Now you can tell me that there’s birth control and I can then ask why there so many single moms.

I understand your position from a materialistic viewpoint. And in the divorces I know, the woman went out for “adventure” shunning the security she had. The men weren’t devastated that they had to share goods. They were devastated that the woman they deeply loved wanted something more.

What is missing is what Jordan Peterson describes as the terrible loneliness of old age with no family. Those who have committed to one man or one woman throughout life cannot finds words to describe the depth of happiness that brings. But it takes commitment through thick and thin. That willingness to endure that ability to value delayed satisfaction, is rare in our pleasure today society.

 

[GodsGrace]

Crap.

Yeah. What could Hidden In Him have said?
It's YOUR opinion.
No one can take that away from you.