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Women Who Won't Marry

questdriven said:
God also gave us the ability to reason and make decisions based off criteria.:shrug
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I'm not trying to beat up on anybody, but having kids to me seems like, well, if God wants us to have kids then we will, and if He don't, we wont. We were told to be fruitful and multiply. Kids are a blessing. I don't think it's sinful to not want to have kids, just that, some things aren't really up to us.

My wife got pregnant fast when we got together. Our kids are two weeks less than one year apart. She wanted to have her tubes tied because she lost two summers in a row being pregnant, and couldn't ride the good rides at the fair in late summer. I know of the possible complications in that procedure, and she did go through the pain of childbirth for my children...so I volunteered to go get a vasectomy instead of them cutting on her.

I used to tease her about having more kids, and she'd say we can't because you're fixed. I told her that I'd pray to God to heal me and she would get pregnant. This scared her and she got mad and said you better not!!

:hysterical
 
Edward said:
I'm not trying to beat up on anybody, but ha ving kids to me seems like, well, if God wants us to have kids then we will, and if He don't, we wont. We were told to be fruitful and multiply. Kids are a blessing. I don't think it's sinful to not want to have kids, just that, some things aren't really up to us.

My wife got pregnant fast when we got together. Our kids are two weeks less than one year apart. She wanted to have her tubes tied because she lost two summers in a row being pregnant, and couldn't ride the good rides at the fair in late summer. I know of the possible complications in that procedure, and she did go through the pain of childbirth for my children...so I volunteered to go get a vasectomy instead of them cutting on her.

I used to tease her about having more kids, and she'd say we can't because you're fixed. I told her that I'd pray to God to heal me and she would get pregnant. This scared her and she got mad and said you better not!!

:hysterical
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In the event that pregnancies were to happen, more than I'd care to go through--I'd go through with it and accept it as God having different plans. But I would also prefer to prevent that if possible.
I don't want to go through the things my mom has with her blood clot if I can help it. I probably have enough health problems lurking in my future as it is, with heart disease and possibly diabetes running in my family. And migraines, which both of my parents suffered--meaning if it's genetic in both cases (I'm sure it is in my dad's since my older half sibling has them) I have a 75% probability of suffering them as well.
 
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Lewis W said:
But on another note, I think that women and men who don't get married because of their careers or don't want to be tied down are SELFISH INDIVIDUALS ' instead of having kids and raising them, it is all about themselves and their careers and later dying without leaving any children for the kingdom of God.
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That's rather judgmental and sexist.

Lewis W said:
In Biblical days you were supposed to get married unless there was something wrong with you, or God had something specific for you to do.
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Says who? There certainly is no command in the Bible that one has to get married, nor is there one that married people must have kids.
 
Lewis W said:
I know that Scripture very well. Not all people have that gift to stay unmarried all their life and not burn. I known a few people who were able to do it without burning to much or not at all, but that is is a gift from God and those people are to serve Him without distractions. This is not like the RCC where the nuns and priest are told to be that way.
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No, and I never compared Paul or his suggestions to the RCC either. But he did make that as a general statement to anyone who was single and never once said they had to have any special gift from God to do it. If you say there is command in scripture that all people must have children or even just something that hints that this is God's will for everyone, then you have to say Paul's words go against scripture and against God's will. I don't believe that.
 
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Edward said:
...if God wants us to have kids then we will, and if He don't, we wont. ...
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I just don't know. To me, this seems a bit like walking across a busy 8 lane freeway and saying "If God wants me to live, I will, if not, I'll die." He gave me ways to get to the other side safely and I just think that doing it in an unsafe way is simply tempting God. Maybe it's just because I'm feeling a little judged and condemned by some of you guys statements since my wife and I chose to not have kids, and when my wife decided to be an adulteress and leave I chose not to try to re-marry. Also because it seems to me that if I am in the wrong scripturaly about this, than so was the apostle Paul. That just isn't sitting right with me.
 
Obadiah said:
No, and I never compared Paul or his suggestions to the RCC either. But he did make that as a general statement to anyone who was single and never once said they had to have any special gift from God to do it. If you say there is command in scripture that all people must have children or even just something that hints that his is God's will for everyone, then you have to say Paul's words go against scripture and against God's will. I don't believe that.
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Well let me put it this way, it takes a special person to go through life with no sex. And didn't Paul say it is better to marry than to burn ?
 
Lewis W said:
Well let me put it this way, it takes a special person to go through life with no sex. And didn't Paul say it is better to marry than to burn ?
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This is the 21st century. Sex no longer has to equal pregnancy. God has given us the ability to make a choice and the freedom to make it.
 
Not everyone has a problem with burning.It is not hard for me not to have that "benefit" its a pretty big world and I have fun in it.For me being single is a very natural state and not wanting kids even moreso and both of those things are 100% my business.
 
hallowbonnie said:
Not everyone has a problem with burning.It is not hard for me not to have that "benefit" its a pretty big world and I have fun in it.For me being single is a very natural state and not wanting kids even moreso and both of those things are 100% my business.
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Exactly. Not to mention that if every man and woman in the world paired up and had as many kids as they naturally would have if they put no restrictions on pregnancy, can you imagine how irresponsible it would be to overpopulate the earth in that way! It would be a social and environmental disaster. We already have thousands dying of starvation every day, and we have thousands more becoming ill from the effects of being crammed together in big filthy cities. We can't deal with all our refuse and waste material as it is! The command to mankind in general to populate the earth has probably been the only command ever given by God that we have actually done a good job of fulfilling.
 
Well, there are more methods out there than birth control pills...though arguably it's one of the most effective, I suppose. (Still not 100% effective.)
 
Obadiah said:
I just don't know. To me, this seems a bit like walking across a busy 8 lane freeway and saying "If God wants me to live, I will, if not, I'll die." He gave me ways to get to the other side safely and I just think that doing it in an unsafe way is simply tempting God. Maybe it's just because I'm feeling a little judged and condemned by some of you guys statements since my wife and I chose to not have kids, and when my wife decided to be an adulteress and leave I chose not to try to re-marry. Also because it seems to me that if I am in the wrong scripturaly about this, than so was the apostle Paul. That just isn't sitting right with me.
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I guess I wasn't very clear. I'm sorry brother. I'm not judging anyone and I'm not looking down on anyone for not wanting to have kids. If it's not in your heart to have kids, then that doesn't make you a bad guy or anything of the sort. What I wrote is merely how I look at it. I'm not saying you're wrong or sinful or anything. I do think that comparing leaving it up to God to have kids or not to playing on the freeway is extreme thinking (LOL), but I understand the point you're trying to make.

You're a good man, with a good heart for the Lord. But you don't want to have kids. Uh-oh, one of them guys!...No. Having kids is a big thing, and a personal choice, but if the Lord really really wanted for you to have kids...he would have put that in your heart, right? But He didn't. So you're not wrong. But the Lord put a way of thinking into my heart also. So that's how "I" think. That's all I'm saying. I tried to be clear that I wasn't being judgmental or anything, but I guess that was overshadowed by my statements. Sorry about that. I find myself tending to lean towards faith moreso than reason in my walk, perhaps too much at times, and perhaps not for my walk. I dunno. I don't play on the freeway, I tell you that. I don't tempt God.

:idea
 
Edward said:
I guess I wasn't very clear. I'm sorry brother. I'm not judging anyone and I'm not looking down on anyone for not wanting to have kids. If it's not in your heart to have kids, then that doesn't make you a bad guy or anything of the sort. What I wrote is merely how I look at it. I'm not saying you're wrong or sinful or anything. I do think that comparing leaving it up to God to have kids or not to playing on the freeway is extreme thinking (LOL), but I understand the point you're trying to make.

You're a good man, with a good heart for the Lord. But you don't want to have kids. Uh-oh, one of them guys!...No. Having kids is a big thing, and a personal choice, but if the Lord really really wanted for you to have kids...he would have put that in your heart, right? But He didn't. So you're not wrong. But the Lord put a way of thinking into my heart also. So that's how "I" think. That's all I'm saying. I tried to be clear that I wasn't being judgmental or anything, but I guess that was overshadowed by my statements. Sorry about that. I find myself tending to lean towards faith moreso than reason in my walk, perhaps too much at times, and perhaps not for my walk. I dunno. I don't play on the freeway, I tell you that. I don't tempt God.

:idea
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Lewis W said:
Obadiah, I am not judging you, if that is the way you feel.
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It's not just you guys (an congratulations on your engagement by the way, Lewis). I'm glad you explained it that way. See, it just comes across as disingenuous when someone says something like "I'm not trying to beat up on anybody" then in the same paragraph says "if God wants us to have kids then we will, and if He don't, we wont." and "We were told to be fruitful and multiply." This comes across as implying that anyone who chooses to in some way prevent pregnancy is selfishly living outside of God's will. There is no scripture to support this. It's a commonly used principle that scripture interprets scripture, so if "Be fruitful and multiply" was a command to every individual person who God allowed to have the physical ability to reproduce, then Paul was advising people to go against God's command! That's why "Be fruitful and multiply" has to be interpreted as a command to mankind in general, not a specific command to every person who was ever born. And mankind in general has done a great job of fulfilling that command!

As for my choice not to have kids, I've really resented it when people seem to think it's ok to just assume that means I hate kids. That's the furthest thing from the truth! But God has had reasons for putting that in my heart that have had nothing at all to do with not liking kids or with being selfish. In fact, it's been just the opposite!
 
Obadiah said:
It's not just you guys (an congratulations on your engagement by the way, Lewis). I'm glad you explained it that way. See, it just comes across as disingenuous when someone says something like "I'm not trying to beat up on anybody" then in the same paragraph says "if God wants us to have kids then we will, and if He don't, we wont." and "We were told to be fruitful and multiply." This comes across as implying that anyone who chooses to in some way prevent pregnancy is selfishly living outside of God's will. There is no scripture to support this. It's a commonly used principle that scripture interprets scripture, so if "Be fruitful and multiply" was a command to every individual person who God allowed to have the physical ability to reproduce, then Paul was advising people to go against God's command! That's why "Be fruitful and multiply" has to be interpreted as a command to mankind in general, not a specific command to every person who was ever born. And mankind in general has done a great job of fulfilling that command!

As for my choice not to have kids, I've really resented it when people seem to think it's ok to just assume that means I hate kids. That's the furthest thing from the truth! But God has had reasons for putting that in my heart that have had nothing at all to do with not liking kids or with being selfish. In fact, it's been just the opposite!
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Thanks brother.
It never even entered my mind that you may dislike children because you don't want to have any. I don't think the decision to have or not have kids has anything to do with ones like or dislike of children. (It may in isolated cases, but they would be, isolated cases) Children are lovable, cute and funny. The decision to have kids for oneself is a life decision that is largely non related.

If someone doesn't like kids, then, it's probably that they don't like a specific kid, lol. I don't see how anyone could dislike all kids in general. If they do, then they probably have some sort of mental issue in and of themselves.
 
I honestly don't know how to act around small kids...not sure if that's an inexperience thing that would be fixed with time and/or not be an issue if I had my own kid, or what. But it's why I don't volunteer to help out in the church nursery--I would feel awkward and out of place and have no idea what to do with myself.
 
Edward said:
Thanks brother.
It never even entered my mind that you may dislike children because you don't want to have any. I don't think the decision to have or not have kids has anything to do with ones like or dislike of children. (It may in isolated cases, but they would be, isolated cases) Children are lovable, cute and funny. The decision to have kids for oneself is a life decision that is largely non related.

If someone doesn't like kids, then, it's probably that they don't like a specific kid, lol. I don't see how anyone could dislike all kids in general. If they do, then they probably have some sort of mental issue in and of themselves.
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No, you didn't, and neither did anyone else here, but it has been said to me before. And this in spite of the fact that my main ministry calling in life is to youth ministry! How could I feel that kind of a call if I disliked kids??? Probably the reason God put it on my heart to not have kids of my own was so that all my energy and patience with kids (especially teenagers) wouldn't be used up on my own, but would be available for large groups of other people's kids.
 
That second link that I posted is saying the same things that I was saying about people putting their careers and plain selfishness above all.
 
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