Worst Advice?

[JohnDB]

People love giving advice... Sometimes it's bad.

What's the worst advice you have been given that you followed?

Tell the story.

 

[Nathan]

"Don't worry, be happy"

 

[JohnDB]

"Don't worry, be happy"

Context counts...We need more information on this.

 

[Nathan]

Ah, well, how long do you have to read?

That saying has been applied to many stories in my life when 'worry' wasn't really the issue, but rather it was discernment that seemed like worry. Most often, it is my own advice I gave to myself. The song just always pops up in my head when I really want to do something that I really don't think I should.

One notable time was right after I was married and did not have a 'steady' job. I worked construction, in and out of a lot of odd jobs. I was 'advised' I should go back to school and get a college degree. The 'government' would give me money and 'loan' me the rest. Ha!

That was 13-14 years ago and I am still paying back 'loans' and am in great job that has zero to do with what I went to college for.

Now, on the flip side, I do take my own advice and I don't worry about what I did......

 

[reba]

follow your heart... and no details

 

[Jethro Bodine]

People love giving advice... Sometimes it's bad.

What's the worst advice you have been given that you followed?

Tell the story.

A long time ago I was struggling with an office attraction. It seemed to be mutual but we kept to ourselves and did not even talk about it to each other. It bothered me severely because I was also a Christian at that time. Some yoyo on the radio said that to put an end to that kind of situation tell your wife. Wow, how incredibly stupid. Little did he realize that for most people simply being attracted to someone else is the equivalent of having committed adultery. Yes, I did follow the advice, that's how it became apparent to me that you NEVER share with your spouse feelings of attraction that you have for someone else. NEVER! You might as well be committing actual adultery. It feels the same.

 

[Jethro Bodine]

follow your heart... and no details

I know, I cringe every time I hear that advice.
It's the sure sign you're hearing from the world, not God.

 

[JohnDB]

follow your heart... and no details

Yeah...Some stories are so bad you really don't need to share.

 

[JohnDB]

A long time ago I was struggling with an office attraction. It seemed to be mutual but we kept to ourselves and did not even talk about it to each other. It bothered me severely because I was also a Christian at that time. Some yoyo on the radio said that to put an end to that kind of situation tell your wife. Wow, how incredibly stupid. Little did he realize that for most people simply being attracted to someone else is the equivalent of having committed adultery. Yes, I did follow the advice, that's how it became apparent to me that you NEVER share with your spouse feelings of attraction that you have for someone else. NEVER! You might as well be committing actual adultery. It feels the same.

I had a similar situation/attraction. But I treated it as a warning flag that something was wrong in my marriage. I never told my wife about it. I had heard that some things you just don't need to tell your spouse about, especially if he/she has no wisdom to see that the way they have been treating you hasn't met your emotional needs of late. (Which was my situation). I chose to love my wife harder and things got better for a bit. (That woman is no longer my wife...She was such a lousy spouse and her current husband has my sincerest sympathies.)

Today my wife is awesome, I've been flirted with by some very attractive women but where I notice the flirting it has no effect on me except to run and hide from the trouble of telling them point blank, "NO!". (It got Joseph in a lot of trouble). I feel no attraction towards them. Just fear of trouble.

 

[Corn Pop]

I was once told 'Just be yourself'.

It didn't really change anything.

 

[Not_Now.Soon]

Does it count if your the one giving the advise? More then once I gave the advise to just talk to the person that they have an issue with. Then later on realized that they were already on shaky ground concerning what was going on with the person and talking about it instead of being patient and letting things settle they talked a fight into something larger and much worse.

Reminds me of a proverb of a fool airing out all their issues, but a wise person staying silent.

 

[JohnDB]

Does it count if your the one giving the advise? More then once I gave the advise to just talk to the person that they have an issue with. Then later on realized that they were already on shaky ground concerning what was going on with the person and talking about it instead of being patient and letting things settle they talked a fight into something larger and much worse.

Reminds me of a proverb of a fool airing out all their issues, but a wise person staying silent.

Oh it counts...
Just didn't expect anyone to admit that they gave bad advise.

 

[Wrg1405]

Many many years ago when I stumbled in my faith, stopped going to church I got myself in a real financial mess.

Just meeting the interest took up most of my salary.

When I went to back to I found out at the church I went to that they had an elder who gave counselling for people in a financial mess. He was an MD of a very successful company and left that to become an elder.

Anyway I went to see him.

This was the primary outcome.

I should tithe 10% gross under a covenant for 3 years to the church. Doing that God would honour that.

3 years later I was more in debt that I was before I started (and that's with me severely restricting my spending)

 

[JohnDB]

Many many years ago when I stumbled in my faith, stopped going to church I got myself in a real financial mess.

Just meeting the interest took up most of my salary.

When I went to back to I found out at the church I went to that they had an elder who gave counselling for people in a financial mess. He was an MD of a very successful company and left that to become an elder.

Anyway I went to see him.

This was the primary outcome.

I should tithe 10% gross under a covenant for 3 years to the church. Doing that God would honour that.

3 years later I was more in debt that I was before I started (and that's with me severely restricting my spending)

Yeah... People at church are usually blithering idiots when it comes to financial advice.
They expect miracles for everyone.
If this were actually true I could write the church a bunch of rubber checks and suffer no NSF fees from the bank.

How about relying upon what Paul and God have already said? "The borrower is servant to the lender" and " if you can free yourself from slavery, you should"

 

[Wrg1405]

Yeah... People at church are usually blithering idiots when it comes to financial advice.
They expect miracles for everyone.
If this were actually true I could write the church a bunch of rubber checks and suffer no NSF fees from the bank.

How about relying upon what Paul and God have already said? "The borrower is servant to the lender" and " if you can free yourself from slavery, you should"

It took me a long time to work this through.

Tithing is a big issue and it's not something that I want detract from this post but I just want to say that it's something that can actually detract from from Christ.

I am a finance director for a company.

I used to do accounts for people in the church. Those that couldn't afford to pay accountancy fees or had got themselves in trouble with their business.

On two occasions (the extreme ones, a few less so) it became apparent to me when I was looking at the finances they were tithing. The money they were tithing was not money they had to tithe. They were not paying their workers who were also self employed, the tax man and suppliers, they had bailiffs knocking on their door.

When I suggested they stopped tithing as I felt it was not honouring to God, and use this to pay their workers and the revenue and suppliers they told me I was wrong to say this and that we must tithe to God.

In fact after one conversation which got heated I had to say "I can't help you"

Three months later they can back to me and I had to take them down the route of bankruptcy, there was no other option. Their marriage had become so strained, they couldn't even feed their kids.

What really hurt me was that they left so many non Christians who they owed money to unpaid. They had their own family to provide for and they felt no shame for doing so.

Shocking.

To me we give to God what is ours to give, we don't give to get more back. We give what he knows we can give and he reveals that to us and not man.

 

[JohnDB]

It took me a long time to work this through.

Tithing is a big issue and it's not something that I want detract from this post but I just want to say that it's something that can actually detract from from Christ.

I am a finance director for a company.

I used to do accounts for people in the church. Those that couldn't afford to pay accountancy fees or had got themselves in trouble with their business.

On two occasions (the extreme ones, a few less so) it became apparent to me when I was looking at the finances they were tithing. The money they were tithing was not money they had to tithe. They were not paying their workers who were also self employed, the tax man and suppliers, they had bailiffs knocking on their door.

When I suggested they stopped tithing as I felt it was not honouring to God, and use this to pay their workers and the revenue and suppliers they told me I was wrong to say this and that we must tithe to God.

In fact after one conversation which got heated I had to say "I can't help you"

Three months later they can back to me and I had to take them down the route of bankruptcy, there was no other option. Their marriage had become so strained, they couldn't even feed their kids.

What really hurt me was that they left so many non Christians who they owed money to unpaid. They had their own family to provide for and they felt no shame for doing so.

Shocking.

To me we give to God what is ours to give, we don't give to get more back. We give what he knows we can give and he reveals that to us and not man.

Giving is extremely empowering for those of us who live to give.

And I found that it doesn't have to be cash. As a licensed electrician I can do a lot without money.
As a former formally trained 4 star chef...I can do a lot without money.
As a regular guy I can take my talents and put them to use for clergy, church building, and congregants when I have no money to give.
God makes all the money He ever will need. What He really wanted all along was my heart and for my actions to reflect that. Money use/abuse/problems are usually just a symptom of heart issues. That's the only reason Jesus talked about it a lot.