1. Donnie Darko-- Go up to a fan of this film and tell them you don't like it and I guarantee the first thing he'll say to you is, "That's just because you don't understand it", and there lies the principle attraction to this film-- it gives idiotic teenagers an opportunity to pretend to ooze with profundity. The acting is decent at best, the plotline is shallow, and the overall tone is such a superficial shade of bleakness that one cannot help but be utterly unaffected by it. The ending also fails to solve many paradoxes and other problems-- even if Gretchen didn't die in the road, she still would have been killed by her father, even if Donnie died when the jet engine fell, his sister and probably his mother would have been aboard the plane and would have died, thus his "sacrifice" in the end was completely meaningless. As for those who would insinuate that I didn't understand it, I did understand it, and my ability to clearly see the transparence of the film led my my dislike of it. For all its numerous shortcomings, the film was alright considering its budget and even had some decent jokes, but the general vibe it had as well as the legions of loyal fans have soured any palatability this movie may have had. This is my least favorite movie of all time, albeit more for the pretentious fans than for the movie it self.
2. The Passion of the Christ-- Whether Christian or not, I think most people would have agreed that watching a man being beaten for ninety minutes is a meaningless endeavor, but Mel Gibson's oldest friend, Hype, convinced everyone otherwise.
3. The Ring-- This may be the worst horror flick I've ever seen. I typically love bad sci-fi like Plan 9, but the Ring was so bad that it ceased to be funny after a few minutes. The morose tone is so over the top that its impossible to take seriously or to take lightly, leading the viewer into an hour-and-a-half odyssey of ennui. Nothing scarey really even happens in this film, it just drags all the way through. The lighting is bad. I'm no film nerd and I typically don't notice technical details like that, so when the production is so outrageously lacking I realize it, it must be truly awful. To complement the dimness of the bulbs was the atrociousness of the acting. Again, I'm no stickler for drama, so when I notice... As for the "surprise" ending, I can't imagine not predicting it at least vaguely. The lack of crispness of the first false ending prompted me to immediately suspect that something more was in store, and it probably involved the demise of one of the main characters. Lo and Behold, a mere fifteen minutes after this thought crossed my mind, my suspicions were confirmed. The highlight of this film for me was seeing a Descendents sticker on a photography locker. Seriously.
