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Youthful intercourse is okay

The Unbeliever said:
What do you do if a girl gets pregnant if the pastor only preaches abstinence?
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I've tried making a post several times and am not sure how to word it.
I have a couple of friends (my age and younger) who got pregnant out of wedlock. And while we of course don't approve of that, it's not my place to approach them about it as I don't know the situation, and they are still under their parent's authority. We (as in, our church) have supported them and their families in trying to do the responsible thing--raise the kids.
 
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questdriven said:
I've tried making a post several times and am not sure how to word it.
I have a couple of friends (my age and younger) who got pregnant out of wedlock. And while we of course don't approve of that, it's not my place to approach them about it as I don't know the situation, and they are still under their parent's authority. We (as in, our church) have supported them and their families in trying to do the responsible thing--raise the kids.
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Thanks. This is the sort of response I was hoping to hear.
 
Classik said:
Another Pastor.

He is of the opinion that the youth could decide to have sex...he claims it helps to prepare them for the real thing: Marriage. (A little paraphrased)
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He cannot be a true pastor. Will someone buy a cow when they can get free milk. Do you think that the vast majority will want to get married. I think this pastor is a wolf in sheep's clothing.:sad To even consider this is going contrary to the scriptures. What does he hope to gain from this kind of thinking...all I can do is SMH. But then again this kind of thinking was prophesied...people who are unwilling to take a stand for righteousness. Does he want the young people to like him so much that he has to make statements which are CONTRARY to the scriptures.
 
The Unbeliever said:
What will you do in addition to preaching to them their need for Jesus? Will they receive a response like this: http://www.christianforums.net/showthread.php?t=46340&p=712395&viewfull=1#post712395
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It depends. Every situation has to be evaluated individually.

Is the unwed mother still in the care of her parents? Does she need help? What is her relationship to the church? What is her parents relationship to the church?

I left my church last February, or thereabouts, and since then one of the young girls in the youth group had a baby out of wedlock--a complete shock to me. I visited the church last Wednesday for their annual festival (I took my son) and apparently she and her family are still regular members of the church. And because of all the things I know about her and her parents I wouldn't have expected anything less.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
It depends. Every situation has to be evaluated individually.

Is the unwed mother still in the care of her parents? Does she need help? What is her relationship to the church? What is her parents relationship to the church?

I left my church last February, or thereabouts, and since then one of the young girls in the youth group had a baby out of wedlock--a complete shock to me. I visited the church last Wednesday for their annual festival (I took my son) and apparently she and her family are still regular members of the church. And because of all the things I know about her and her parents I wouldn't have expected anything less.
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The pastor didn't want to 'rock the boat', eh?

(I wonder which Bible he reads, though.)

Of course, young women (and men; it takes two to tango) in such situations need to be treated with patience and love, but it needs to be clear there is a difference between what Scripture teaches about those who profess the name of Christ, and people's actual actions, sometimes.
 
The Unbeliever said:
What situation merits the disdain in your original post?
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I was mocking the popular thinking among those who reject Christianity that all that matters in their view of God is that you reach out to others in love.

In that thinking the sexual immorality itself is not what matters to God. They seem oblivious to the fact that it's not very loving to the child to be sexually active when you're not prepared to bring that child into the world and take care of it. And it's not very loving to believe you are free to be irresponsible and then deliberately cast the consequences of your irresponsible behavior on others expecting, even insisting, they help you out. But, as we know, many today in the U.S. will vote for that as an acceptable way to live.
 
It's astonishing to know that most believe it's okay that way. Why? We are looking for a compartible partner, they'd say. :sad
 
The Unbeliever said:
What do you do if a girl gets pregnant if the pastor only preaches abstinence?
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I glanced over this before, as I wanted to answer the OP...but I'd like to answer this now...

We follow the word of God and Jesus' example:

Galatians 6:1-2 tells us: Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. <sup class="versenum"></sup>Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Jesus had brought to Him a woman who had been caught "red-handed" in adultery...after dispersing the crowd He asked the woman: "Who condemns you?" she answered: "No one, Lord". Jesus then said: "Neither do I condemn you, go your way and sin no more".

There is only one sin that is unforgiveable...and getting pregnant out of wedlock ain't it!

I am a Southern Baptist Pastor, and I preach the word to include abstinence...and we've had young unmarrried women who have gotten pregnant in the past.

We don't shun them, we don't kick them out, we don't heap condemnation on their heads...They know they've sinned...They are almost universally scared and worried as to what happens next...the future suddenly has changed and all of a sudden the reality that they will be responsible for a new life (given by God) looms large before them.

What we do is reach out in Christian love and let them know that their church family it there for them. They know that we can't and won't condone sin...any sin...but we aren't going to try and "punish" them for it...that's not our place nor our calling. Jesus has already provided the remedy for sin on "an old rugged cross".

For example: Do they need transportation to the doctor's office for prenatal care? We provide it. Do they need diapers or formula? We procure it. Do they need a crib, or a changing table, or things of the like? We'll get them.

If the father is out of the equation we'll be there when the baby is born.

This isn't to my mind condoning the sin...this to me is showing the love of Christ to one who desperately needs to know that Jesus still loves them, and there is nothing they could ever do to make Jesus love them any less.

My :twocents
 
mcgyver said:
I glanced over this before, as I wanted to answer the OP...but I'd like to answer this now... We follow the word of God and Jesus' example: Galatians 6:1-2 tells us: Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Jesus had brought to Him a woman who had been caught "red-handed" in adultery...after dispersing the crowd He asked the woman: "Who condemns you?" she answered: "No one, Lord". Jesus then said: "Neither do I condemn you, go your way and sin no more". There is only one sin that is unforgiveable...and getting pregnant out of wedlock ain't it! I am a Southern Baptist Pastor, and I preach the word to include abstinence...and we've had young unmarrried women who have gotten pregnant in the past. We don't shun them, we don't kick them out, we don't heap condemnation on their heads...They know they've sinned...They are almost universally scared and worried as to what happens next...the future suddenly has changed and all of a sudden the reality that they will be responsible for a new life (given by God) looms large before them. What we do is reach out in Christian love and let them know that their church family it there for them. They know that we can't and won't condone sin...any sin...but we aren't going to try and "punish" them for it...that's not our place nor our calling. Jesus has already provided the remedy for sin on "an old rugged cross". For example: Do they need transportation to the doctor's office for prenatal care? We provide it. Do they need diapers or formula? We procure it. Do they need a crib, or a changing table, or things of the like? We'll get them. If the father is out of the equation we'll be there when the baby is born. This isn't to my mind condoning the sin...this to me is showing the love of Christ to one who desperately needs to know that Jesus still loves them, and there is nothing they could ever do to make Jesus love them any less. My
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Awesome! Keep it up. I'm impressed:):):)
 
mcgyver said:
We don't shun them, we don't kick them out, we don't heap condemnation on their heads...They know they've sinned...They are almost universally scared and worried as to what happens next...the future suddenly has changed and all of a sudden the reality that they will be responsible for a new life (given by God) looms large before them.

What we do is reach out in Christian love and let them know that their church family it there for them. They know that we can't and won't condone sin...any sin...but we aren't going to try and "punish" them for it...that's not our place nor our calling. Jesus has already provided the remedy for sin on "an old rugged cross".
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I think we all agree this is not about punishing the unwed mother. It's about knowing to what extent you receive them vs. the care and protection of the flock.

There's a delicate balance between keeping fallen church goers in the fellowship and protecting the rest of the fellowship from the influence of their sin choices especially among the youth. Shunning is not categorically forbidden in the church. There is a time for it, and there is a reason for it.

I think, ultimately, you have to go case by case and determine where the mother herself stands in regard to her own sin. I've seen kids in the youth group who sin in other ways who clearly have no remorse or sorrow for the sin they are indulging and who need to be examined. I'd say discernment is a big part of how to handle these kinds of things.

Godly sorrow and repentance was the condition for accepting the sexually immoral man into the fellowship in the Corinthian church. Of course, this is not even going to be an issue in a church where the false teacher leading the church thinks it's okay to have premarital sex anyway. I'm confident that real Christian sheep will eventually hear the voice of God about the matter, exposing the false teacher, and leave that fellowship.
 
Some churches may excommunicate them or punish them according (using the bible - of course out of love). However, so may take it so harshly...and at the earth make the matter worse
 
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Classik said:
Yes - Jethro, they have done wrong. You are right and the young ones should be aware of this.
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I wonder how many youth groups actually take the time to talk very specifically from God's point of view about what has happened? Or do most just kind of figure everybody knows what the Bible says about it and just let's it go? I say a church is terribly mistaken to choose the latter.
 
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