Very Important Survey to Prove That I'm Innocent

[Vince]

All right, my wife made some fantastic chicken for tomorrow, but she left it out to cool. I walk into the kitchen, and the chicken starts calling my name. Minutes later, there is no longer any chicken. Who is to blame?

1) My wife, who knows I love chicken
2) The chicken, who seduced me with its wiles
3) Poor, innocent me, who just happened to walk through the kitchen

 

[PouringRain]

I choose option number 3. You are responsible for your own actions.

 

[jasoncran]

number 2

 

[theLords]

The chicken can legally be held responsible in a court of law. Do you have a phone? Because if you do, you have a lawyer.

 

[elijah23]

Clearly, your parents are to blame.

 

[Vince]

Clearly, your parents are to blame.

No, they didn't cook the chicken.

 

[Alabaster]

Number 3, which is the reason you are taking your wife out to dinner tomorrow!

 

[PouringRain]

Number 3, which is the reason you are taking your wife out to dinner tomorrow!

And buying flowers!

 

[Vince]

I choose option number 3. You are responsible for your own actions.

But what about the chicken? Shouldn't the chicken be held responsible for its own actions?

 

[Theofilus]

You would not have eaten the chicken if it had not tempted you like it did. But the chicken would not have been able to tempt you if you're wife hadn't cooked it and put it there. So, ultimately, your wife is to blame for the chicken's disapearance and she should take you out for a chicken dinner.

 

[elijah23]

No, they didn't cook the chicken.

Certainly they traumatized you emotionally as a child, though, which is the underlying root of the problem.

 

[Mike]

The chicken, who seduced me with its wiles

This might require more detail. Was the chicken talking to you? Did it position itself in a "come hither you lover of chicken" kind of way? Did you hear singing of any kind? I'm thinking of the legendary sirens of sea that would lure naval vessels into danger. What man can resist good chicken just sitting there at night begging to be eaten? A better man than I; that's who.

 

[handy]

No, no, no! Men, take responsibility for your own actions...the chicken was just doing what a chicken is meant to do...but be a man and resist the chicken...resist the chicken and she will flee from you and take her wiles (and delicious aroma) with her.

Then again, if that happened the chicken would still be gone and Vince's wife would still be mad. As long as the chicken was going to be gone anyway...might as well eat it.

Then take your wife out for a chicken dinner and buy her flowers!!!!!

(This way you appease the wife and get two chicken dinners! ;))

 

[Theofilus]

There seems to be some debate about who should take whom out to dinner. Here's a suggestion. Make a deal with your wife that you will both take each other out. She pays for the first dinner, and you pay for the second. Go out for a chicken dinner and have her pay. The next day, you tell her you'll be working late and go to the same place for dinner, this time by yourself, and buy the same thing. Make sure to keep the reciept. About a month later, you go out again with your wife. When it comes time to pay the bill, you tell her it's her turn, since you paid last time. When she reminds you that she paid last time, just take out the receipt and show it to her. This way you get three chicken dinners for the price of one.

 

[l'Chante]

Clearly, your parents are to blame.

:biglol :toofunny

 

[PouringRain]

There seems to be some debate about who should take whom out to dinner. Here's a suggestion. Make a deal with your wife that you will both take each other out. She pays for the first dinner, and you pay for the second. Go out for a chicken dinner and have her pay. The next day, you tell her you'll be working late and go to the same place for dinner, this time by yourself, and buy the same thing. Make sure to keep the reciept. About a month later, you go out again with your wife. When it comes time to pay the bill, you tell her it's her turn, since you paid last time. When she reminds you that she paid last time, just take out the receipt and show it to her. This way you get three chicken dinners for the price of one.

I knew there was a reason why I am not married.










:D

 

[Vince]

I have solved the problem! I bought another chicken. My wife will cook it for me for dinner.

 

[Nick]

Ideally, your wife (who knows you love chicken) should have told you not to eat it. But in the absense of the wifes' directions, then it's up to you to ask her if it's ok to eat it.

Then again, the soft, juicy, tender flesh of the chicken is .... so ..... seductive.......

*drools*

 

[Mike]

Darn it, Vince! Why must you always be so elusive?!!

I want to know more about these wiles of the chicken to validate my own experience. I just know pizza talks to me! If you would share your personal experience, I might not feel like it's all in my head.

 

[l'Chante]

You want Vince's opinion if it is all in your head?!?!?!