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2 Different Gods

T

The Light

Member
There has been a real disconnect between my spouse and I spiritually for a while now and lately things have been boiling over. Though we both have claimed the Christian title, our beliefs do not often align. It's like we believe in 2 different Gods. My wife is a beautiful and giving person that credits God with all of the blessings in her life. She honest with good charactor and a big heart. I love her to life, and feel lucky that she would have me as her husband.

But, the deeper I delve into the faith, the more disconnected we seem to become. She's content with a faith that believes in a God that loves and watches over us, wants us to be good, that will give us the true desires of our hearts. As I see it all of that is great but God is more that a celestial provider, he is our master. That is where we seem to part ways. She's not interested very much in scripture or the oracles of God as her faith trumps what anything written may say. My contention is that the study of and adherance to the scriptures strengthens and develops one's relationship with God while she seems to be more inclinded have a god after her own heart than the God described in scripture. This disconnect has been something I have tried to ignore, but the more I study and try to mold myself into a slave for Christ, the more problems we seem to have. Initially, she was bothered by my desire to be scriptural in our life practices and I'd scale back to the laisse faire faith we both started with, but the more I study, the more I can't be content without being doctrinally sound and ensuring that my household lives for Christ.

She thinks I'm going overboard and feels that as long as we are "good people" that thanks and credits God, we're okay and asking her to do anything more is a cause of MAJOR frustration. This has been going on for a little over 4 years and I have prayed until my knees are raw and she has been praying as well.
 
Everything we know, or think we know, about God has to come from the bible. Everything we are exposed to in regard to differing views must be tested against that standard. It sounds like she is buying into a somewhat new-age view of God, and that can be dangerous. I would recommend finding a bible study, or commentary that you both can go through together. She may balk at first, but ultimately if a preconceived notion we have about God is shown to be wrong after looking at the bible it must be thrown out.
 
The studying is a cause of frustration for us as it seems that anytime there is a point of contention, she defaults to "everyone has their own personal interpretation" as if that makes not dealing with the issue okay.
I have suggested that we attend bible classes at church together, but "Sunday school" isn't a thing she's totally into.
 
The Light said:
The studying is a cause of frustration for us as it seems that anytime there is a point of contention, she defaults to "everyone has their own personal interpretation" as if that makes not dealing with the issue okay.
I have suggested that we attend bible classes at church together, but "Sunday school" isn't a thing she's totally into.
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Then look into a couple's bible study. Preferably one that is led by an elder or the pastor of your church.
 
The idea that God is your master as opposed to your butler is something I feel i am always having to point out.
 
Out of curiosity, what denomination are you? The reason I ask is when people attend the more liberal churches they do not have preachers that will actually speak with authority. This, unfortunately, leads to people feeling they need to "come to their own conclusion" when it comes to what the bible teaches.

Having said that, it is always a good idea to read through different biblical scholars' commentary on sections of the bible, but then always test what they are saying against what the bible actually says. Never just follow one person's commentary.

But it is important to speak with a leader in the church who will actually speak with some biblical authority.
 
I am familiar with non-denominational, but have never heard of "Lord's Church." What does that generally align with?

From my experience, depending on the size of the non-denominational church, it seems almost leaderless when it comes to individual discipleship.
 
We don't always attend together. She is not a member where I worship. I do visit with her from time to time and she visits with me as well, just not as frequesntly as I'd like. I tend to go 3 times a week (twice on Sunday & Wednesday nights), while she will attend service once or twice a month. Over the years we've had stretches where we'd attend together more frequently but that never lasts long as our church preferences and attendance patterns are vastly different. Truth is, there is a real divide spiritually and it's hard. We literally seem to have two different standards so connecting is difficult. She believes in Jesus and tries to do what "the spirit in her" shows her as good without much regard, if any for scriptural guidance. I find that her use of the Bible is limited to finding texts that make her feel good and supporting what she feels in her heart already. There's no authority, structure, or doctrine! If we have any point of contention and I go to the Bible, she feels like I'm "hitting her over the head with the Bible again." Pulling a bible out with her outside of church is literally something that will lead to eye rolling and deep breaths and an argument along the lines of "Your walk is not my walk and judge not!" I TRY to make it a point not to be judgy as I just want us to start by studying TOGETHER and discussing scripture TOGETHER so we can grow in grace and truth TOGETHER, but it's like we're running into brick walls! My fear is that i have turned her away from the Bible and I don't know how to win her back. I'm at a loss on what to do.
 
It sounds like she is in need of another Godly influence in her life that she will listen to. She is apparently relying on her own understanding, which is dangerous. You need to find someone she trusts that will help guide her in the right direction in regard to relying on scripture for what it was intended.

Some passages to consider: Proverbs 3:5 and 2 Peter 1:20.
 
Your right. The trick is finding that someone. Her circle of spiritual influences tend to be on the liberal side with views similar to her own with a lot of modern megachurch lack of theology. There are wonderful people who attended her church, but not many who are into book, chapter, and verse.
She and I live in Houston and she attends Lakewood as well as the Church Without Walls.
 
I guess at this point prayer will be your first step in getting toward that goal. Pray that God will reveal to you ways to witness to her, and pray for God to open her eyes to the fallacies in the churches she attends.

Lakewood, is that Osteen's church? Megachurches have no real theology, other than the idea that if you feel good you must be on the right path. They never discuss sin and trials.
 
The Light,
This seems more like a thread for the Christian Talk & Advice forum. You aren't looking to debate theology are you?
 
WIP said:
The Light,
This seems more like a thread for the Christian Talk & Advice forum. You aren't looking to debate theology are you?
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I've seen how conversations can veer when topics about "my church v your church" or "my faith v your faith" are at the crux, so I figured to be safe, that this was the section to post in.
 
Two things I hear you say is that the both of you claim the Christian title. Does that mean both of you are Spiritually born again according to John 3:5-7 and that both of you have confessed Christ with your mouth and believe in your heart according to Romans 10:9, 10? Do you both have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit upon the Spiritual rebirth or do you even know what and who the Holy Spirit is?

The second thing I hear you say is that you are trying to mold yourself as being a slave for Christ and that you are trying to force your wife to do the same thing by how you understand scripture, but she is refusing that of what you believe as she has her own beliefs.

First we are not slaves to Christ, but willing servants as we are free to serve Him.
1 Corinthians 7: 22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant. 23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.

Second you can not mold yourself as we come to Christ and allow Him to mold and make us what He wants us to be
Isaiah 64:8 But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.

If the first part of my reply is true then both of you are saved by Gods grace through faith and nothing of yourself as salvation is a free gift from God's grace to all who will believe in Him and have also have eternal life with Him. Ephesians 2:8-10

Some people are diggers in the word and some just not so interested in diggering, but do know the basics of salvation. I'm a digger and my husband is not and for some time now since we attend no Church at the moment he doesn't read his Bible like he use to, but yet is Spiritually born again and indwelled with the Holy Spirit. I see the best way to handle your problem is to just let it alone, especially if both of you are saved by Gods grace. I would love to share the things I learn with my husband, but yet he is just not that interested in what I have learnt, but do share some with him. You both love each other and care deeply about each other and that's what is important as you both have faith in Christ as your Lord and Savior. My husband and I see some scripture differently and that's ok as everyone has their own beliefs even if they do not line up with our own. Like I said the important thing is that you are both Spiritually born again and know you have eternal life in Christ.
 
for_his_glory said:
Do you both have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit upon the Spiritual rebirth or do you even know what and who the Holy Spirit is?
The fruits of the Spirit are generally present in our lives, however, no tongues or spiritual gifts.

for_his_glory said:
The second thing I hear you say is that you are trying to mold yourself as being a slave for Christ and that you are trying to force your wife to do the same thing by how you understand scripture, but she is refusing that of what you believe as she has her own beliefs.
No force, just encouragement to put God on the throne. The point I feel I have to bring up far too regularly is that God is not our fairy god father, but rather our master and we are commissioned to obey his son's commandments John 14:15. Knowing the will of God is important and His Word is should be foundational to the believer's walk.

for_his_glory said:
Some people are diggers in the word and some just not so interested in diggering, but do know the basics of salvation....... I see the best way to handle your problem is to just let it alone,
Thanks for lending the time to share an experienced perspective. Leaving it alone unfortunately hasn't been working, especially since we have a daughter now. Little things like having to comb her hair and take her to service on Sunday mornings without mom are issues. Knowledge of scripture leads to growth and adding knowledge to one's faith is a biblical commission, so abiding in willful ignorance is (admittedly in my eyes) a form of rebellion to God's commands. How can I sit idly by and let that fester and continue and expect not to be held accountable?

2 Peter 1:5-8 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
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If I am hearing you right are you saying tongues and Spiritual gifts are not for today?

You never answered my question about the both of you being Spiritually born again and being indwelled with the Holy Spirit.

Do you love your wife and does she love you? Do you have a good marriage in spite of the difference in what both of you believe? Do the both of you love your daughter?

Answer all of these things and then I will reply where I am going with this.
 
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