Age Gap!!!

[MerciG777]

I'm 12 years older than my husband and our running joke is that when I was graduating high school he was going into first grade . I'm 68 and he is 57.

What truly matters is the maturity between the two even when they first start to date. If God brings two together as one then no man can put them under.

That is adorable thank you for sharing. It sounds the two were compatiable and the union was approved by God.

 

[for_his_glory]

That is adorable thank you for sharing. It sounds the two were compatiable and the union was approved by God.

We both prayed on it and both were given the same answer, so yes, we were absolute in our union knowing Jesus was at the center of it.

 

[for_his_glory]

Yup. She's a regular bossy-boots. Love her to bits ❤.

Sometimes we have to weld

 

[Tenchi]

Would it frowned for a women in 30s to date a male 15-20 years age difference.

There is nothing morally wrong with doing so. But as you get older, the difference in age begins to tell in ways that can seriously strain the relationship. I certainly would look very dimly on a man 20 years older than a nineteen or twenty-year-old woman getting romantically involved with her. Such a woman is still developing emotionally and mentally and will do so typically until her mid-to-late twenties. A man two decades older than such a young woman may have experience, and development psychologically and intellectually, that puts him in a much more...powerful position in the relationship, which can lead to a very unhealthy, even destructive, relational dynamic.

 

[Riven]

There is nothing morally wrong with doing so. But as you get older, the difference in age begins to tell in ways that can seriously strain the relationship. I certainly would look very dimly on a man 20 years older than a nineteen or twenty-year-old woman getting romantically involved with her. Such a woman is still developing emotionally and mentally and will do so typically until her mid-to-late twenties. A man two decades older than such a young woman may have experience, and development psychologically and intellectually, that puts him in a much more...powerful position in the relationship, which can lead to a very unhealthy, even destructive, relational dynamic.

What if the roles were reversed?

 

[Tenchi]

What if the roles were reversed?

I don't see how that would make much difference...

 

[Riven]

I don't see how that would make much difference...

Well, I mean, the power dynamic you spoke of earlier. If it were an older man and a younger woman, I could see that being a factor.

But a man is a man. Even if he were 20 years younger than the woman, do you think that same power dynamic exists?

 

[Christ_empowered]

Good question

I observed one long term marriage like that. Older woman married a former undergrad student after he got his degree. She ended up committing suicide and I can’t help but think that the aging process was intensified in her situation by her marriage…

 

[Tenchi]

Well, I mean, the power dynamic you spoke of earlier. If it were an older man and a younger woman, I could see that being a factor.

But a man is a man. Even if he were 20 years younger than the woman, do you think that same power dynamic exists?

Power in a relationship is not always a matter of physical strength. Women can dominate men - especially the passive, I-want-everyone-to-love-me ones - in very emotional/psychological ways.

 

[Hidden In Him]

A man two decades older than such a young woman may have experience, and development psychologically and intellectually, that puts him in a much more...powerful position in the relationship, which can lead to a very unhealthy, even destructive, relational dynamic.

Not if he is a godly man, Tenchi, which goes back to my original point in Post #6.

Sure an older man might be tempted to use a heavier hand on occasion, but he would be quick to apologize to her if he realized he had been unfair and hurt her in any way.

The dynamics are not the issue. What matters is the character of the one in the position of power, and how much love he has for his partner. Christ Jesus has more power and control than His bride, the church, and always will, but because He acts in love, the unbalanced dynamic is not a problem but rather the solution. The greater power makes Him better fit to lead, and as men we are called to emulate Christ Jesus in our marriages.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I dunno

Older men with younger women used to be standard. Then again it was largely about having kids and accumulating wealth. Today’s marriages seem a lot more emo and about companionship etc.

 

[Hidden In Him]

I dunno

Older men with younger women used to be standard. Then again it was largely about having kids and accumulating wealth. Today’s marriages seem a lot more emo and about companionship etc.

Designed to emulate Christ and His bride, locked in eternal intimacy, through blood covenant.

Today's secular society can screw that arrangement up however they want, Lol.

 

[Tenchi]

Not if he is a godly man, Tenchi, which goes back to my original point in Post #6.

Yes, godliness makes an enormous difference - even when there is no big age gap.

What matters is the character of the one in the position of power, and how much love he has for his partner.

Right, provided that love is the love of God and not the man's own finite, often contingent, human love.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I dunno

It’s just an observation but…

Even with good intentions power imbalances can be difficult to overcome. Older husband one spouse with a lot more resources and clout etc…

And I think the scales tipping towards exploitation of the other spouse is a problem…possibly at times enough if one that the situation is best avoided…

 

[Riven]

I like cougars.

 

[Hidden In Him]

I like cougars.

 

[MerciG777]

There is nothing morally wrong with doing so. But as you get older, the difference in age begins to tell in ways that can seriously strain the relationship. I certainly would look very dimly on a man 20 years older than a nineteen or twenty-year-old woman getting romantically involved with her.

This Christian platforms can be so damn negative and pessimistic. Why are you considered about how would appear. We have different opinions.

Of course appearing as light/salt and our appearance as according to Leviticus/Numbers does in fact matter but not based on society opinions.

Such a woman is still developing emotionally and mentally and will do so typically until her mid-to-late twenties.

I can definitely assure you that there men/women in their 50s-60s who haven't developed emotionally or mentally and some incredibly immature. There are mature couples in our church of young adults in their late teens/early 20s who are committed to running ministries, serving God and managing their households. They are incredibly mature!

A man two decades older than such a young woman may have experience, and development psychologically and intellectually, that puts him in a much more...powerful position in the relationship, which can lead to a very unhealthy, even destructive, relational dynamic.

That doesn't sound like a Godly ordained or God inspired relationship and this is not what I will fix my mind on. A man 5 years/2 years/6 months older can do the same if you have witnessed abusive couples.

Good question

I observed one long term marriage like that. Older woman married a former undergrad student after he got his degree. She ended up committing suicide and I can’t help but think that the aging process was intensified in her situation by her marriage…

Wow! This is why I avoid Christian platforms and forums. Are you trying to scare or fear inspired. That poor women probably had been battling demons aside from age gap with her husband, maybe you don't how they ended up together, let her memory rest in peace.

Power in a relationship is not always a matter of physical strength. Women can dominate men - especially the passive, I-want-everyone-to-love-me ones - in very emotional/psychological ways.

Exactly! That may be the jezebel spirit

I dunno

Older men with younger women used to be standard. Then again it was largely about having kids and accumulating wealth. Today’s marriages seem a lot more emo and about companionship etc.

I think the bible is ahead of its time and holds so much wisdom, emotions and companionship were also a part of Gods plan, as the word states Husbands Love your wife's and wife's submit; the statement had meaning. God also stated it is not good for Man to be alone, when he created Adam again.

This is why I am interested, because as a women which other women have confirmed some of tend to be mentally/emotionally drawn to older men.

Designed to emulate Christ and His bride, locked in eternal intimacy, through blood covenant.

Today's secular society can screw that arrangement up however they want, Lol.

Whether secular society like it or not. Gods nature is the right way, that is why the world is off balance.

Christ love between his bride and him is excellent clear example

I dunno

It’s just an observation but…

Even with good intentions power imbalances can be difficult to overcome. Older husband one spouse with a lot more resources and clout etc…

And I think the scales tipping towards exploitation of the other spouse is a problem…possibly at times enough if one that the situation is best avoided…

The same way a mother or guardian can abuse children. That happens in the world regardless. I don't know why it is being brought up in my thread however,

 

[Niblo]

This Christian platforms can be so damn negative and pessimistic. Why are you considered about how would appear. We have different opinions.

Of course appearing as light/salt and our appearance as according to Leviticus/Numbers does in fact matter but not based on society opinions.

I can definitely assure you that there men/women in their 50s-60s who haven't developed emotionally or mentally and some incredibly immature. There are mature couples in our church of young adults in their late teens/early 20s who are committed to running ministries, serving God and managing their households. They are incredibly mature!

That doesn't sound like a Godly ordained or God inspired relationship and this is not what I will fix my mind on. A man 5 years/2 years/6 months older can do the same if you have witnessed abusive couples.

Wow! This is why I avoid Christian platforms and forums. Are you trying to scare or fear inspired. That poor women probably had been battling demons aside from age gap with her husband, maybe you don't how they ended up together, let her memory rest in peace.

Exactly! That may be the jezebel spirit

I think the bible is ahead of its time and holds so much wisdom, emotions and companionship were also a part of Gods plan, as the word states Husbands Love your wife's and wife's submit; the statement had meaning. God also stated it is not good for Man to be alone, when he created Adam again.

This is why I am interested, because as a women which other women have confirmed some of tend to be mentally/emotionally drawn to older men.

Whether secular society like it or not. Gods nature is the right way, that is why the world is off balance.

Christ love between his bride and him is excellent clear example

The same way a mother or guardian can abuse children. That happens in the world regardless. I don't know why it is being brought up in my thread however,

Excellent replies.