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An apology

K

Kathi

Member
How many people here can genuinely say that they are sorry when they know they are wrong?For instance a husband gets into an argument with his wife.He knows at the end he is wrong.How many people can say "I am sorry I was wrong please forgive me". That takes a big chunk of humbleness and really steps on the ole pride.
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Okay, this is not going to come across the way I intend but I don't have a problem apologizing when I am wrong but where I struggle is recognizing when it happens. In other words, when I get into an argument I need to be shown pretty strong evidence or a more correct word would be proof that I am wrong. Until then, I will usually stand my ground. Someone telling me I'm wrong won't necessarily constitute proof for me. This relates back to another thread where I pointed out that I am often accused of "having to always be right." This is not the case. What I should be accused of is being stubborn or bull-headed. The problem is, those that disagree are as stubborn as I am but they too don't recognize it. If they weren't, we wouldn't be arguing at all. Both sides have to agree who's right or who's wrong before they can end the argument unless one just decides to give up.
 
So someone has to show you that you are wrong?You do not know that in your heart?What is your reaction when someone tells or shows you that you are wrong?An apology usually clears the air.It is much easier to forgive someone when you have been handed a sincere apology.
 
As I said, I am stubborn. There is no doubt about that. The reason I have to be shown that I am wrong is because to me if I just give in I wasted a lot of time arguing for nothing. As I grow older I have noticed a change in my though. I avoid the arguments more easily than I once did. I just figure there's no point in stating my position if its only going to result in a disagreement and an argument where neither party gives in. So now I just think to myself, "You're wrong but I don't care." The side-effect of that is nobody knows where I stand anymore. I don't know which is worse.
 
Just thought of something else. I do know that when I am proven wrong I know it because I suddenly feel really embarrassed. But this is now when my pride really kicks in because at that point I guess I do struggle to admit it. Oh, I will admit it but maybe not at that moment or if I do I stumble around trying to do so without losing face. Stupid human pride, eh?
 
WIP said:
As I said, I am stubborn. There is no doubt about that. The reason I have to be shown that I am wrong is because to me if I just give in I wasted a lot of time arguing for nothing. As I grow older I have noticed a change in my though. I avoid the arguments more easily than I once did. I just figure there's no point in stating my position if its only going to result in a disagreement and an argument where neither party gives in. So now I just think to myself, "You're wrong but I don't care." The side-effect of that is nobody knows where I stand anymore. I don't know which is worse.
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Stubborn hu?Well that is an issue all of itself.Do you think being stubborn is pride in disguise?So you choose your battles?That is a good thing.I can put out what I feel to people and if someone does not agree with me which is all the time :) I figure we will just have to agree to disagree and not get angry about it.
 
WIP said:
Just thought of something else. I do know that when I am proven wrong I know it because I suddenly feel really embarrassed. But this is now when my pride really kicks in because at that point I guess I do struggle to admit it. Oh, I will admit it but maybe not at that moment or if I do I stumble around trying to do so without losing face. Stupid human pride, eh?
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Yes,pride is not looked at too highly in the Bible.Although it is very common.
 
I cant say that I haven't done that. I have my positions but I tire of arguing yec here. so I just don't. but Im also stubborn at times.i would like to say that I can apolgozie easily but sadly no. of course my eschatology is something that others will argue and badger me to repent. I wont and I have done the same to others so just let my statements say what I want and leave it be. I do ponder my position at times to check myself.
 
I knew someone once who was stubborn.He did not believe in wearing a seat belt.Just stubborn.Well he was in an accident and he went through the windshield.That seat belt would have saved his life.Do I need to say anything more?
 
Kathi said:
I knew someone once who was stubborn.He did not believe in wearing a seat belt.Just stubborn.Well he was in an accident and he went through the windshield.That seat belt would have saved his life.Do I need to say anything more?
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I don't wear my seatbelt at times due to work related. its legal in my case not too wear it.
 
Kathi said:
How many people here can genuinely say that they are sorry when they know they are wrong?For instance a husband gets into an argument with his wife.He knows at the end he is wrong.How many people can say "I am sorry I was wrong please forgive me". That takes a big chunk of humbleness and really steps on the ole pride.
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If the argument was heated the husband was wrong even if he was right :D

Gal 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, (23) Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

If we can't mediate a difference amicably with our partners how can we represent Jesus to the world.
 
I actually have no problem sincerely apologizing, regardless of whether I or the other party "started it". It takes a minimum of two people to have a dispute or to hurt one another, both of whom believe they are right or in the right.
Civility, Humility and the ability to apologize cost nothing, yet they are worth far more than pride.
I live in a country where to back down is to lose face and losing face is not something to be tolerated. Quite often I apologize even when I and the other party know it was their fault. Example: A year or so ago a guy backed into my car then started yelling at me and invading my personal zone. After considering ripping him a new one, i calmed and said "okay I'm sorry". He was happy, calmed down and paid for the damage because I saved him his face (in more ways than one had the old, brutal me surfaced ;)
On the opposite side of the coin there are times when I find after the fact that I was wrong and I ALWAYS make the apology at first opportunity.No exceptions.
 
Here's another observation since getting into this discussion thread. I have noticed that it is easier for me to bow out of an online forum argument than it is in face-to-face argument. Wonder why that is? Is it because an online argument is less personal? Is it because I don't actually know the person I am arguing with?

I also find it easier for me to recognize when I have been shown to be in error although I am not always very quick to apologize unless I know I hurt someone's feelings. I honestly do find that I am much more comfortable discussing things in writing, especially topics that are a bit touchy for me. I think one possible reason for this is because I have more time to re-read what is posted and can take more time to respond rather than shooting from the hip as is usually the case in face-to-face interaction.
 
Me and my wife have no problem apologizing to each other. Both our parents are like the Fonz (sorry for the old TV reference), I think it makes them physically ill to say "I'm sorry". They come close and will try and make up, but it's rare to hear them actually say those words.
An online discussion does have a dynamic to it an in person one doesn't have, and the other way around too.
 
WIP said:
Here's another observation since getting into this discussion thread. I have noticed that it is easier for me to bow out of an online forum argument than it is in face-to-face argument. Wonder why that is? Is it because an online argument is less personal? Is it because I don't actually know the person I am arguing with?

I also find it easier for me to recognize when I have been shown to be in error although I am not always very quick to apologize unless I know I hurt someone's feelings. I honestly do find that I am much more comfortable discussing things in writing, especially topics that are a bit touchy for me. I think one possible reason for this is because I have more time to re-read what is posted and can take more time to respond rather than shooting from the hip as is usually the case in face-to-face interaction.
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I think that is always the case WIP.It is much easier to ignore someone when they are at a computer.Much more difficult when they are in your face :).Everyone has a comfortable way of apologizing.Alot of people like to write their apology rather than say it face to face.
 
Writing an apology is probably my preferred method but whenever I do I can't help but feel it is less personal and carries a lot less meaning. On occasions when I realize that I need to make an apology, I will try to be a man and do it in person if I can.
 
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