I am having a little trouble following exactly what you are saying/asking so forgive me if I miss it. My perspective is from the Reformed position so take it for what it is. My beliefs, not me saying people who don't believe this way are wrong or trying to change anyone's mind. I can only answer your question from my perspective. I realize I will be subject to verbal attack but I hope that doesn't happen. It is not something I intend to argue about.
Being born again or regenerated means that God, in His grace, has given you the gift of faith. That is, the willingness and ability to put your trust in Jesus for salvation.
Ephesians 2; 1-9 "And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins,in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the Prince of the power of the air, the Spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by NATURE children of wrath, just as the others.
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were DEAD in trespasses, MADE US ALIVE together with Christ (by Grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the richness of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by Grace you have been saved THROUGH FAITH, and that not of yourselves; it is the GIFT OF GOD, not of works, lest anyone should boast."
Caps above are all mine to draw attention to key words.
It is God who places you in Christ.
And I didn't say God knew His own before the foundation of the world. God said it. Eph. 1:3-6 "Blessed be our God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we as should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself according to the good pleasure of His will-----"
God of course has already sent His Son who has already died and ascended into Heaven. What God needs to do for us now is something else we cannot to for ourselves. He has to give us Faith to believe. He does this by a work of the Holy Spirit (a new birth in effect that overrides the seed of sin we are born with which is what makes us unwilling to turn to God) who makes us not only able but willing to choose Christ. It takes Faith to believe the things in the Bible. To our carnal minds, it is nonsense. A virgin birth, a resurrection of the dead, a sacrificial death of another to save us. Not sure what you were asking about earthly parents. Obviously they are still our parents. The new birth is not a rebirth of our physical selves. It is a spiritual awakening.