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Can we talk about anger?

Okay. I don't know who's a Christian and who isn't. This has opened a deep wound in me about what the church did to me in the past. When I feel this depressed I don't want to be a Christian. I want to be in an intimate relationship with Christ. And in my opinion I do not have to read the Bible to do that. I also want to love others as he loves us, but sometimes like today this is hard. The rest of it doesn't matter. So I guess Quantrill is a real Christian and I am just a lost soul.
 
Susannah said:
So I guess Quantrill is a real Christian and I am just a loss soul
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Are you tempting us to judge you now?
See I think you are still comparing. Judging both him and yourself. It doesn't matter what we think of you. Only God's judgement matters in the end.
 
kiwidan said:
The issue I have is more trust issues, like I feel I cannot trust anyone in general except those closest to me like family and some good friends, so I have phobic anxieties, situations can cause a panic attack that can last for days on end as my mind races and thinks of the worst situation and I cannot stop thinking about it. Maybe it's just over vigilant.
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I don't know if I have trust issues or I'm just going on my experience, but I don't trust anybody. Not even my own son. The only one I trust is God. Maybe this is why I have such a hard time with the Bible. When I was a child I was trusting and vulnerable. And over the years I met no loving people even in the church. My best friend in high school raped me. And we used to go to church together.

I came to this forum to meet loving people. And I found a few. But I still don't trust them. I have to be vigilant. I cannot handle any more heartache. Put on the full armor of God.
 
No you don't have to be careful. It's up to me to process my feelings with the help of God. I gave up a long time ago on finding someone to stand up for me against bullies I'm on my own. I keep trying to pretend like normal. But my PTSD gets the better of me. So I just need to take a break and as they say and lick my wounds. In the beginning I was trying to help Quantrill. But as the saying goes he is biting the hand that feeds him. I learned that from my husband.
 
I make it a point not to expect anything from anybody. Follow your heart. I think it's great that you're supporting Quantrill right now. That is what Jesus would do. But I'm not Jesus. I'm only human. And I did have one person stand up for me once. My son was beating me with a stick and my sister stood up and said stop that. And he did. Take care.
 
Please do not put words in my mouth. I expect nothing from anybody except myself. Not even from God. Leave me alone. I don't like men attacking me. As I told you before I have PTSD.
 
Wow. I guess Quantril is having a good laugh right now. I am a dominant woman. I am also a victim of lot of male brutality and as a result I have PTSD. That means as much as I would love to stay calm I have panic attacks. Yesterday you criticized Quantrill by saying that he was just entertainment. I find that judgmental too. But for some reason you have turned on me. I did not realize you disliked me so much. I thought we were friends. But this is exactly why I don't trust people. I need to go into a deep meditation right now. Take care.
 
P.S. I went back to the beginning of this thread and I suddenly realized instead of talking about anger, I got angry. And that's okay to a degree. Even Jesus got angry. But that's a whole other thread. It was concluded that Jesus displayed his anger, he did not lose his temper. I on the other hand did lose my temper so I apologize to everyone and I hope you all have a blessed evening.
 
Susannah said:
Wow. I guess Quantril is having a good laugh right now. I am a dominant woman. I am also a victim of lot of male brutality and as a result I have PTSD. That means as much as I would love to stay calm I have panic attacks. Yesterday you criticized Quantrill by saying that he was just entertainment. I find that judgmental too. But for some reason you have turned on me. I did not realize you disliked me so much. I thought we were friends. But this is exactly why I don't trust people. I need to go into a deep meditation right now. Take care.
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I was waiting for you to use that one. I don't pretend to be perfect.
 
I'm not perfect either. That's the point. I lost my temper. It was between me and Quantril. I'm not quite sure why you got involved.
 
Sarcasm is one of your strong suits. But it's not helping things right now. I don't know why you're angry with me. Something's going on that you're not telling me about.
 
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