Okay, this has been something that has been on my heart for a while. I am a strong believer, and am currently dating a non believer. Actually, he's Jewish, but is more of a "secular Jew", and does not follow any traditions or believe in God. We have been dating for three years, and I love him very much. The only problem that tugs at my heart is that he is not a Christian. We do have sex, and this weighs on my conscious as well. I love him, and I love the things I do with him, but I don't know how to say that I would want to stop doing them after 3 years. Does that make sense? Should this be an issue? I'm confused.
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Christian girl dating Jewish guy?
- Thread starter hannahlc
- Start date
Navigator
Member
Hannahlc. First off, thanks for opening up on such a near and dear topic.
Being a strong believer, you have to constantly be thinking about your relationship with God. Dating a man who is not only not a Christian, but a "secular Jew" is a very dangerous thing. How do you expect to grow with God if the earthly person your heart is attached to does not even respect or believe in that same God? That is the importance of being equally yoked with your partner. If your partner loves Jesus as you do, you are able to grow in your relationship to God WITH your partner, rather than in spite of them. Working in spite of a romantic partner is a hard and nearly impossible thing to do.
The sex thing really has got to stop as soon as possible (aka now) and you just have to repent. You know Jesus loves and forgives, but asking forgiveness and then going back to the thing that caused sin and committing it continuously will only give you heartache and leave you feeling further from God. It is an issue, and quite a big one for your spiritual journey and relationship with God.
Bringing it up to your boyfriend will definitely be a challenge, but it has to be done. Honestly...I think separating would be the wisest choice in this case. I know that may sound impossible after 3 years, but that just seems the better route to take given your situation.
Mike
Member
Navigator had a very good response. I hope you're open to Godly advice and not simply looking for affirmation, because you need to take inventory of your life circumstances.
If you are a believer, you are in the Light. If he isn't, he is in the dark. What does light have to do with darkness? Practically speaking, you are setting yourself up for a stressful marriage, especially when children enter the picture, and you need your husband to be on the same page as you. If you feel Led to tithe, and you're dealing with mutual funds, what will that decision be like? You might not be thinking marriage now, but the natural progression of dating can be marriage.
It's never too late to repent and vow celibacy until you're married (to a believer). I strongly urge you to stand before the Lord and commit yourself to Him going forward.
If you are a believer, you are in the Light. If he isn't, he is in the dark. What does light have to do with darkness? Practically speaking, you are setting yourself up for a stressful marriage, especially when children enter the picture, and you need your husband to be on the same page as you. If you feel Led to tithe, and you're dealing with mutual funds, what will that decision be like? You might not be thinking marriage now, but the natural progression of dating can be marriage.
It's never too late to repent and vow celibacy until you're married (to a believer). I strongly urge you to stand before the Lord and commit yourself to Him going forward.
Nick
Member
I assume you believe that sex outside of marriage is a sin? If so, it would be interesting to see your justification for engaging in this sin.
The fact that you two are engaging in sex outside of marriage is really a cause for a pause. Are you really as strong a believer as you think you are? Or as you think you were? Think about what Paul said about not being unequally yoked in 1 Corinthians. It is clear to me that this guy is pulling you away from God. Perhaps it was slow and unnoticable at first, but before you know it you are no longer pure for your husband. This is exactly the reason Paul said these words. It is very difficult to grow in the Lord with a non-Christian partner or spouse. I trust you may be having these feelings if you came here to post what you did. Think about this: over many more years of being together, or over a lifetime of marriage, how else is this guy going to drag you away from God?
Parden me if I come off as a bit harsh. Not my intent but I feel strongly about this. I'll finish by citing Ephesians 5, where Paul explains the roles of husbands and wives. I wonder how a non-Christian husband can perform his role, or how can a Christian wife submit to an ungodly husband?
Really think about that.
The fact that you two are engaging in sex outside of marriage is really a cause for a pause. Are you really as strong a believer as you think you are? Or as you think you were? Think about what Paul said about not being unequally yoked in 1 Corinthians. It is clear to me that this guy is pulling you away from God. Perhaps it was slow and unnoticable at first, but before you know it you are no longer pure for your husband. This is exactly the reason Paul said these words. It is very difficult to grow in the Lord with a non-Christian partner or spouse. I trust you may be having these feelings if you came here to post what you did. Think about this: over many more years of being together, or over a lifetime of marriage, how else is this guy going to drag you away from God?
Parden me if I come off as a bit harsh. Not my intent but I feel strongly about this. I'll finish by citing Ephesians 5, where Paul explains the roles of husbands and wives. I wonder how a non-Christian husband can perform his role, or how can a Christian wife submit to an ungodly husband?
Really think about that.
22 (AR)Wives, (AS)submit to your own husbands, (AT)as to the Lord. 23 For (AU)the husband is the head of the wife even as (AV)Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is (AW)himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit (AX)in everything to their husbands.
25 (AY)Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and (AZ)gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by (BA)the washing of water (BB)with the word, 27 so (BC)that he might present the church to himself in splendor, (BD)without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way (BE)husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because (BF)we are members of his body. 31 (BG)“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and (BH)the two shall become one flesh.†32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, (BI)let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she (BJ)respects her husband.
25 (AY)Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and (AZ)gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by (BA)the washing of water (BB)with the word, 27 so (BC)that he might present the church to himself in splendor, (BD)without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way (BE)husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because (BF)we are members of his body. 31 (BG)“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and (BH)the two shall become one flesh.†32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, (BI)let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she (BJ)respects her husband.
jasoncran
Member
ah one of the those. most jews even if they are orthodox arent compabatable with christians. consertives and the reformed and constructionists are well real liberal and even some orthodox. oddly most of my jewish family are orthodox and support abortion and gay rights. leave him or marry him but i suggest heading that verse on not being unevenly yoked. im there.
evesforeva
Member
I don't think you'd be posting if this wasn't causing problems in either your spiritual life with God or your romantic life with your partner or both. (Otherwise I'd say it's perfectly fine. Lotsa people do it.) But if you have inner conflict, you've got to resolve it, so that you can let go of guilt and shame. Either you're spirituality has got to adjust or your romantic life needs to or both. Whatever you decide be in communication with both your partner and your God about it.