Chuck Norris...

[old_tractor]

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn. He stands outside and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

There is no evolution. There's simply a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

There's no life on Mars. It's because Chuck Norris has already been there.

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he's not pushing himself up - he's pushing the earth down.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

 

[jasoncran]

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn. He stands outside and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

There is no evolution. There's simply a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

There's no life on Mars. It's because Chuck Norris has already been there.

When Chuck Norris does pushups, he's not pushing himself up - he's pushing the earth down.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

#3 is the best.

 

[Pizzaguy]

View attachment 1791

 

[l'Chante]

:biglaugh Nope. # 6 does it for me. Any idiot can destroy a couple of species, BUT only Chuck can gargle peanut butter. :toofunny I'm acually going to try it when I get home. Yeah, I know... I need a life..

 

[Mike]

My 15 year-old told me there are entire sites dedicated to this stuff. His PR firm sure earned their keep in making him relevant again. He's all that!

 

[GojuBrian]

Chucknorrisfacts.com.

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

 

[l'Chante]

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"

Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

 

[GojuBrian]

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he asks for a hatchet and a barrel.

 

[cyberjosh]

LOL! I love Chuck Norris jokes. I used to have a poster of them. Just this last summer my cousin discovered that this phone's app store had a Chuck Norris jokes app. There are literally hundreds of them! We laughed so hard we cried.

 

[cyberjosh]

One of my favorite ones is:

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King..... and got one.

The funniest part was, we were sitting in the car and reading these from the phone app I mentioned, and for about 30 seconds my cousins and I didn't even get it. And then when one of them finally figured it out we bust out laughing. It mas mostly funny because we were stupid.

 

[GojuBrian]

I'll have to look for that app. Lol

 

[old_tractor]

Before the bogey man goes to sleep, he checks under the bed for Chuck norris.

 

[Hitch]

;)