Difficult mothers

[Rollo Tamasi]

I don't think so. CE is, in my opinion, far and away, the best writer on this forum, and I have found that he expresses himself in exactly the words he means to. I do believe the fact that he used the expression that he, "owed them" forgivness, twice in that one post to be of significance.

Well, with that type of endorsement, how can one argue?
You are right.

 

[Willie T]

Well, with that type of endorsement, how can one argue?
You are right.

I don't write to accuse him of anything, but to give him an opportunity to look into what really COULD be an underlying issue that he might want to consider. There are plenty of people on here who I feel harbor certain feelings, but I honestly don't usually bother with them. The stubbornness often seems too thick to mess with. But, this particular young man is poised to move beyond a lot that I think he still clings to for the safety he feels in the "comfortable." And so, I point things out to him when I think I may have seen something....... only because he is a thinker, and knows he is.

 

[Rollo Tamasi]

I don't write to accuse him of anything, but to give him an opportunity to look into what really COULD be an underlying issue that he might want to consider. There are plenty of people on here who I feel harbor certain feelings, but I honestly don't usually bother with them. The stubbornness often seems too thick to mess with. But, this particular young man is poised to move beyond a lot that I think he still clings to for the safety he feels in the "comfortable." And so, I point things out to him when I think I may have seen something....... only because he is a thinker, and knows he is.

Willie, this is probably the best you have expressed yourself ever.

 

[Willie T]

I prefer to usually just ask questions that others can answer.... to and for, themselves.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I think we are to forgive as we have been forgiven. Maybe "owe" isn't the best way of putting it, but that is how I feel, or did feel. Christ died for me. My sins have been washed away. In my case, I've also been given things that I thought were gone forever, and some extra "good stuff," too. Slave of sin or slave of righteousness? Is it terrible to feel indebted to Christ?

 

[Willie T]

I think we are to forgive as we have been forgiven. Maybe "owe" isn't the best way of putting it, but that is how I feel, or did feel. Christ died for me. My sins have been washed away. In my case, I've also been given things that I thought were gone forever, and some extra "good stuff," too. Slave of sin or slave of righteousness? Is it terrible to feel indebted to Christ?

Nothing wrong with starting out that way. I, myself, was baptized out of plain old fear and selfish feelings of self-preservation. I saw a way to buy some fire insurance. But we needn't let it stay there.

You used the word, "Gratefulness". Whip out the ol' Thesaurus, and run down the list of synonyms. If you really look at your parents with love, I suspect you can admit that a lot of those words fit what you really WANT to feel... even if you are not all that sure you do just yet.

Like the man in the movie said, "That's what I'm talkin' about!"

 

[Christ_empowered]

good points.

 

[Christ_empowered]

gratitude. I knew that.

 

[Willie T]

I was baptized six years before you were born. But until the past several years, I simply "knew about" Jesus. I didn't have a relationship with Him, and I can't honestly say I really sensed a "love" for Him. Oh, I was polished enough to be able to "look" like I did. I was almost what you would call a professional Christian, and I knew all the words and the motions to go through to seem really religious.......... And what's worse is that I wasn't "faking" it. I actually thought that was Christianity. Hel Er, I mean, HECK, it was what everyone else I looked around at in church was doing, so it HAD to be right.

I no longer feel that detachment. And I owe it all to one simple word I had read for decades, but never truly understood.... GRACE. And from that understanding, gratitude began to grow.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Thanks. After I did teen challenge, age 24-25, I thought I was a Christian. It wasn't until age 28 that I actually said my own version of a sinner's prayer and began a real (and growing, of course) relationship with Christ. I think I get where you're coming from. I was+am blessed to have my friend, Verna, in my life to fill me in on what a genuine relationship with Christ looks like and what bearing fruit looks like.

I'm still in the very early stages of my development, of course. Honestly, I only now truly *feel* forgiven for everything. I only now am getting to the point where I can catch myself projecting my own issues onto God the Father and Christ. Basically...no, God is not an angry, pagan tyrant, and no, God is not a big warm hug without judgment or standards. Take God seriously, by all means, but don't forget grace and don't forget forgiveness and the promise of cleansing and wholeness in the blood of Jesus.

 

[Willie T]

Did you notice that I said I "owe" .......? A little different usage, but we all have some of that in us.

 

[Jesse]

Do you have a difficult mother? One who nag's, worries and guilt trips you everytime you talk to her. Is she constantly judging you, and disapproving of everything you do. Does she treat you like a 8 year old child, and never listens to a word you say.

Do you have a mother like this, because I do and I don't know what I'm going to do.

Do what I did, move away from her, some parents are so toxic it's better not to have them in your life.

 

[jasonc]

I doubt, very seriously, if I have even known anyone who has not said something similar about their mother.

my mom wasn't that way with me. monica and my wife's issue I will not post but this is the nature of things she has said to her mom. I wasn't there when it all started and the past so I remove myself from that stuff. im not going to cause a wedge in that relationship.

 

[poetofparables]

Again, I post another topic for the community to discuss a serious issue affecting millions, and the whole thread becomes centered on how to turn the non believer.

Sorry my post is incorrect, please forgive me.

 

[poetofparables]

Being 17 when i married i let my M-I-L bully me... put up with it year after year... We would leave and not visit for awhile all the things like that that people do, the it is ok she is your mom line..... After about 35 years of it i had had enough.. i turned to face her and rip her apart with my mouth i had family history i could have used...... One of the few times i believe i saw a vision from God...When i turned to look at her she was like a little wet bird trying to get out of the shell.. I do not remember what was said after that i do know i did not 'get her' at that point she was too old to fragile ..i was never sorry... . I do know i learned i should have stood my ground in 1964 and not allowed my self to be treated that way .. it would have been better not just for my self but the whole family..

I wish i had set some personal boundaries long ago..

We usually dont because there family, im sorry reba, i truly am

 

[poetofparables]

What did you expect to find on a Christian forum, we were all unbelievers at one time..

tob

Tob read post #74

 

[poetofparables]

Do what I did, move away from her, some parents are so toxic it's better not to have them in your life.

Yes a very sad fact.

 

[poetofparables]

Oh, someone told you this was a community discussion board, PoP? Nah.... eventually, everything here drifts back to knowing God.

Willie read post #74

 

[poetofparables]

Every time she bothers you, just give her a big hug and say, "I love you Mom".
If you overwhelm her with constant love, it becomes very difficult to be a difficult Mom.
Don't look for anything in return, just keep giving.

A relationship is a two way street.

 

[poetofparables]

We are to forgive 70x7, as we have been forgiven. If I can't/don't/won't forgive, why should I be forgiven? I could've phrased that better in the initial post.

I wonder, does that verse mean to keep forgiving and remain in the situation ?