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Divorce And Remarriage

Lewis do we trust the worlds way or Gods way... God makes God sense the world makes worldly sense...
Have the abuser ( male or female) thrown in jail ...

I have had a friend live with us to get away from her abuser... back in the early 70 before the laws were a bit better...
 
It all depends on how dangerous the guy is.We have read a lot tragedies on the news.Restraining orders are sometimes no more effective than the paper they are written on.
 
We ( the church) should educate the folks about Gods view of marriage.. We so often marry for lust.... or school girl love... We get all caught up in the hearts and flowers stuff... thinking of a deep commitment is no where to be found...

Lewis... i would bet the lady you are do to marry pretty soon is loved in a much deeper stronger way then the first.. maybe not the HOT excitement so much but much much deeper...
 
What I am saying reba is, if the creep does not stop beating her and has been doing so for years, isn't that grounds. I know that God does not expect you to stay with somebody who is beating your brains out.
 
It all depends on how dangerous the guy is.We have read a lot tragedies on the news.Restraining orders are sometimes no more effective than the paper they are written on.
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That stupid piece of paper will not stop a fist , knife, bullet.. car... yes it seems to be a step we must take but they are dumb...
 
reba said:
We ( the church) should educate the folks about Gods view of marriage.. We so often marry for lust.... or school girl love... We get all caught up in the hearts and flowers stuff... thinking of a deep commitment is no where to be found...

Lewis... i would bet the lady you are do to marry pretty soon is loved in a much deeper stronger way then the first.. maybe not the HOT excitement so much but much much deeper...
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That is for sure.The girl has the Cinderella complex.They don't know what love is.They think with their heart rather than their brain.
 
Lewis said:
What I am saying reba is, if the creep does not stop beating her and has been doing so for years, isn't that grounds. I know that God does not expect you to stay with somebody who is beating your brains out.
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I have never said a victim should stay around and be a victim...
 
Lewis said:
What I am saying reba is, if the creep does not stop beating her and has been doing so for years, isn't that grounds. I know that God does not expect you to stay with somebody who is beating your brains out.
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But Lewis she needs to leave.She needs to take that first step and for many that is very scary for them.They are submissive.Sometimes it takes the first trip to the hospital.He is always going to say how sorry he is and that he will never do it again the gifts and the flowers....Ya right.
 
Okay so she leaves, and it has been now 3 years, and it was not her fault that she was being beaten. So now she wants to marry a good man, so now what ? Would not that be cruel to hold her from being happy in life ?
 
Agree Kathi Many have been treated about the same at home with mom and dad... Playing martyr teaches the children how to be the victim or the abuser... Moving from New York to California may be what it takes to be safe...
 
Lewis said:
Okay so she leaves, and it has been now 3 years, and it was not her fault that she was being beaten. So now she wants to marry a good man, so now what ? Would not that be cruel to hold her from being happy in life ?
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2 answers Lewis
What does Gods Word say about divorce? We need to teach Godly principles to bring up a generation more understanding of His ways...

the second answer... I wish her the best in happiness we can find... and a man she can look to as a refuge . a protector who she FEELS always has her back... That hug that says i will hide you in the cleft of the rock... Just as we have Jesus to hide us in the cleft of the ROCK..

One answer is the ideal .... the other is life...
 
reba said:
Agree Kathi Many have been treated about the same at home with mom and dad... Playing martyr teaches the children how to be the victim or the abuser... Moving from New York to California may be what it takes to be safe...
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Alot goes into the history of that woman and what type of a home she was raised and her relationship with her father.And other things as well.She definitely needs counseling.But she has to be ready to hear the truth."The woman who loves too much" which was a book also goes into the personality types of some of these women.And the men know how to pick these women.They are very good at what they do.No way are they going to pick a strong woman who will stand up for herself and demand respect.
 
Kathi said:
Alot goes into the history of that woman and what type of a home she was raised and her relationship with her father.And other things as well.She definitely needs counseling.But she has to be ready to hear the truth."The woman who loves too much" which was a book also goes into the personality types of some of these women.And the men know how to pick these women.They are very good at what they do.No way are they going to pick a strong woman who will stand up for herself and demand respect.
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:salute
 
Lewis said:
So what does the Lord expect a married woman to do who is getting beat on by her husband ? Is she to stay and try to work it out, or is she supposed to divorce the guy ? Is that excepted ?
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That a very good question and worthy of a Scriptural answer.
1. Let's assume the wife is a believing born-again Christian and the husband is not.

2. The first thing that the wife would need to do is examine herself in the light of God's instructions to believing wives (1 Pet 3:1-6).

Matthew Henry has a good comment on v. 6:
Christians ought to do their duty to one another, not out of fear, nor from force, but from a willing mind, and in obedience to the command of God. Wives should be in subjection to their churlish husbands, not from dread and amazement, but from a desire to do well and to please God.
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In the day that we live in, many Christian wives have a hard time being truly in subjection as God commands. But that's the first priority in God's eyes.

3. Assuming the wife is in subjection, and she is praying fervently for the salvation of her husband, and he continue to assault her, she can bring this to the attention of the pastor and elders in her church, and ask for a meeting with them in order get the husband to bring this to a halt. She should not delay or try to avoid the embarrassment of revealing this ugly situation to those who should deal with it in complete confidence (too many pastors don't know how to maintain confidentiality).

4. Assuming the husband is willing to sit down in a counseling session with those who can provide real spiritual counsel (not psychological and psychiatric nonsense), someone in that group should deal with the husband's real issue, which is spiritual, and bring the Scriptures to bear.

5. If the husband get's saved as a result of this, and repents of his unacceptable behavior, the marriage would be saved.

6. If the husband refuses to repent, the wife can separate herself from him without going into a divorce, which God permits (1 Cor 7:11), remain unmarried to another, pray for her husband (as we are even commanded to pray for our enemies) and ask God to intervene and deal with this man (Ps 9:9,10).

7. God does hear and answer prayers, and He may either bring this husband to repentance, or simply remove him from this earth (1 Sam 25:36-38) so that she is free to remarry, as Abigail was.
 
These women have very no self esteem and no self respect.
 
3. Assuming the wife is in subjection, and she is praying fervently for the salvation of her husband, and he continue to assault her, she can bring this to the attention of the pastor and elders in her church, and ask for a meeting with them in order get the husband to bring this to a halt. She should not delay or try to avoid the embarrassment of revealing this ugly situation to those who should deal with it in complete confidence (too many pastors don't know how to maintain confidentiality).
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I agree with the teaching Malachi ... Yet odds are she will then get the beating of all beatings... Get accuse of sleeping with the pastor/decon get told to stay away from that church or it will be worse....
 
reba said:
I agree with the teaching Malachi ... Yet odds are she will then get the beating of all beatings... Get accuse of sleeping with the pastor/decon get told to stay away from that church or it will be worse....
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A lot of times these men are very,very controlling and do not even want the woman out of the house or to socialize with anyone.
 
reba said:
I agree with the teaching Malachi ... Yet odds are she will then get the beating of all beatings... Get accuse of sleeping with the pastor/decon get told to stay away from that church or it will be worse....
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I can't see where God would not approve of you divorcing this guy. Now yes God hates divorce but He did allow it in the OT. Now many people say well that was under the law, well thou should not kill is under the law too, but it still carries over to this day. I don't think that a Christian is going to hell because they got a divorce and remarried. Not all relationships work out, and many time you are to young to know any better and get yourself into a jam with the wrong person. Or the marriage started out right, then one of you went astray through cheating or violence, or you simply find out that you are not compatible in any thing and if you stay together you will come to resent each other.
 
Kathi said:
These women have very no self esteem and no self respect.
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What do you mean? The women who hold themselves in subjection to their husband, or the women who get beat on and stay with their husband? To get beat on and stay is not her self esteem problem, it's his. She may just hold God in higher esteem than herself (which would be correct).

I'm not saying that a woman should get beat on and stay, just that it's not so easy and cut and dried to just leave if she's not happy with the situation...and remain scriptural and honorable in Gods eyes. There's more to it than that. The women who leave at the drop of a hat in todays world are misguided and probably have a pride problem.

Yeah, women have the short end of the stick in this life, that's true and I see that, but that's not a blank check for the women to sin and justify it.
 
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