Kathi, I thought we were evenly yoked as in the beginning he went to church with me, but it was all a pretense, especially when the alcohol and drugs came out of the closet after we married and the beatings began.
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Divorce And Remarriage
- Thread starter Lewis
- Start date
Kathi, I thought we were evenly yoked as in the beginning he went to church with me, but it was all a pretense, especially when the alcohol and drugs came out of the closet after we married and the beatings began.
I am sorry that is really rough.
Thank you Kathi. That all happened back in 1986-88 and then I got out and moved home. Some do say good does come out of bad as all this made me a stronger women when I got my self esteem back many years later and drew me into a closer relationship with Christ as He brought me through it all. I'm usually a suppressor and hard for me to share my inner feelings with others, but Jesus is helping me with this and has now given me a testimony that I can help others that are going through what I had gone through.
That was my second divorce and before I got divorced I searched the scriptures as I wanted to be obedient to God because people told me I would go to hell if I divorced and married again and these were Christians that told me that. I just thank God I never had kids as I can only imagine how hard it was for you enduring for 25 years. You are truly blessed.
common sense. if he is a pedophile and or raped YOU are you commanded to love him even after forgiving him? most wouldn't and shouldn't be forced to do so. a jailed husband will have no rights to see you and he cant exactly be there for when you need him. it would be at best a friendship with a bit more to it. if he is in their for life what then?
Edward
2024 Supporter
Oh, if she thought that she deserved beatings. Uh, yeah then I would agree that she has issues.
That's kind of tricky. Certainly God does not want her to be beat or hurt by the man and He does want us to live in peace...But we can't say conclusively that God would want her to divorce him, because scripture is silent about that and only really says that divorce is permissible for Adultery/fornication...Being technical there of course, and scripture does instruct the man how to treat his wife, and it's very clear.
I couldn't ever tell a woman to stay in an abusive situation. That would sound bad, and seems to go against common sense, yet we have to be careful about the possibility of going against scripture. God is might powerful and can do anything/ make anything happen. In an extreme case it should be layed at the Lords feet with much prayer.
If this isn't done, then we run the risk of...women thinking they have permission outright over it, and there's also the consideration of...who's definition or level of abuse is what is gone by? You know how people are, give em an ince, they take a mile, stretch things, loopholes and so forth.
Even my ex-wife tried this with me and said that I abused her and that she was scared of me. Did I beat her? Did I hit her? No. Never. I asked when did I ever hit you? She said well, you've yelled at me at that's abuse.
(then later, after the millionaire wouldn't marry her, she wasn't too scared to come back if I bought her a BMW, lol. I guess Beemers help one overcome fear lol)
But I digress, the point is that, once a man blacks both of wife's eyes and even cuts her with a knife...she leaves him justifiably (?) and then the next girl leaves because her husband slapped her once, the next because he yelled at her...and where's God in all of this? Like God couldn't protect the first one that was in actual danger? We are to look to God in all things, and not think that we can make the decisions. Because people naturally take advantage of everything they can and it would get out of hand.
That is something else to watch for.The guy knows that you are a Christian.He wants to pretend to be a believer until he gets you hooked.
That would be dangerous to tell a woman to stay in an abusive relationship if she were to ask.If she ended up in a hospital or the grave how would you feel?And if he is verbally or emotionally abusive that can be worse.A woman should not tolerate a man hitting her or slapping her once.Yes,couples do get in fights occasionally,but that is different than abuse.Maybe that was an excuse for your wife to leave you.Maybe there was someone else.Oh, if she thought that she deserved beatings. Uh, yeah then I would agree that she has issues.
That's kind of tricky. Certainly God does not want her to be beat or hurt by the man and He does want us to live in peace...But we can't say conclusively that God would want her to divorce him, because scripture is silent about that and only really says that divorce is permissible for Adultery/fornication...Being technical there of course, and scripture does instruct the man how to treat his wife, and it's very clear.
I couldn't ever tell a woman to stay in an abusive situation. That would sound bad, and seems to go against common sense, yet we have to be careful about the possibility of going against scripture. God is might powerful and can do anything/ make anything happen. In an extreme case it should be layed at the Lords feet with much prayer.
If this isn't done, then we run the risk of...women thinking they have permission outright over it, and there's also the consideration of...who's definition or level of abuse is what is gone by? You know how people are, give em an ince, they take a mile, stretch things, loopholes and so forth.
Even my ex-wife tried this with me and said that I abused her and that she was scared of me. Did I beat her? Did I hit her? No. Never. I asked when did I ever hit you? She said well, you've yelled at me at that's abuse.
(then later, after the millionaire wouldn't marry her, she wasn't too scared to come back if I bought her a BMW, lol. I guess Beemers help one overcome fear lol)
But I digress, the point is that, once a man blacks both of wife's eyes and even cuts her with a knife...she leaves him justifiably (?) and then the next girl leaves because her husband slapped her once, the next because he yelled at her...and where's God in all of this? Like God couldn't protect the first one that was in actual danger? We are to look to God in all things, and not think that we can make the decisions. Because people naturally take advantage of everything they can and it would get out of hand.
As a Christian you pray.God gave you a brain and common sense.Do you think a Christian woman would go to hell because she left an abusive husband?No way.But the husband sure will have a lot to answer for in his judgment.
Edward
2024 Supporter
Yep, he sure would. :yes
There was no one else (yet).I know that for a fact. It was all about money.
I doubt that a Christian woman would go to hell for leaving an abusive husband, but I couldn't really say for sure
TOG
Member
Let's reword that question slightly. The Bible mentions 2 valid reasons for divorce - an unbelieving spouse that divorces his/her spouse and a believing spouse that divorces because the other spouse has committed adultery. So, if someone doesn't mend his ways, can we use some reason for divorce that the Bible doesn't allow? If we decide to answer that question "yes", then we have to remember that, although the divorce may be legitimate in the eyes of the state, it is not legitimate in God's eyes, and any future marriage would be an adulterous relationship.
The TOG
Heck no, live as the world does... the Word of God is too inhibiting to my fleshly desires.
well then if one is divorced from a person and then gets saved and that other person is remarried then what? the saved person is commiting adultery?im not saying that person cant reconcile but sometimes as paul said god calls one to peace. and in that context it was talking about staying married to an unbeliever and paul said he or she departs then god has called you to peace.
Lewis
Member
What exactly does called to peace mean, in that text ?
It is best if two born again Christians marry.That way they are both committed to God.
well if you live with a sinner for a spouse then its like this. I want to tithe, she doesn't. I want to do more for jesus, she will fight some of that. and so on.there is that tug there that its easy to write about but if you live or lived it. ya understand it