Do you really love yourself?

[humble soul]

My threads tend to be like this, in case you havent noticed.
I think if we really know what love is we can love others in the right way.
Anyway, do I really love myself?
I don't think I do. because I envy others' confidence and talent and success too. I cant really accept myself for who I am today right now. There are some parts I like about myself. Like my awesome humour. sorry if that is not funny...…...
I have some writing talent perhaps but haven't really taken it to the next level. I have some music talent which is mediocre at best.
So you can see that my version of "self love" is actually very conditional. I only love talent and competence. I am hard task master on myself as well as others.
But actually I love people who are at ease with themselves. Not competitive. Just enjoying the trip.
So I could learn from that eh. Love for myself for who I am. Warts and all. Who can say they really love themselves warts and all?

 

[humble soul]

There is another perspective on this. Self forgetfulness. It is encouraged in Buddhism. The "I" is an illusion. When we stop worrying about who or what we are, we accept the present moment.
In Christianity, the "I" or personality or ego, or whatever is still important. To my knowledge. please check with some awesome theologians. God created me so I must be special. not just my soul. all of me. Warts and all. The sinful self absorbed part as well.
But those who volunteer and help the poor are encouraged to forget themselves. Look at those in human services. like nurses and doctors. they are encouraged to forget themselves.
Is that we all should do? Just focus on others, not ourselves?

 

[stovebolts]

My threads tend to be like this, in case you havent noticed.
I think if we really know what love is we can love others in the right way.
Anyway, do I really love myself?
I don't think I do. because I envy others' confidence and talent and success too. I cant really accept myself for who I am today right now. There are some parts I like about myself. Like my awesome humour. sorry if that is not funny...…...
I have some writing talent perhaps but haven't really taken it to the next level. I have some music talent which is mediocre at best.
So you can see that my version of "self love" is actually very conditional. I only love talent and competence. I am hard task master on myself as well as others.
But actually I love people who are at ease with themselves. Not competitive. Just enjoying the trip.
So I could learn from that eh. Love for myself for who I am. Warts and all. Who can say they really love themselves warts and all?

Very good self reflection.
If you don't mind me springboarding off your post, we understand the two greatest commandments, the second being love your neighbor as yourself.
Is it any wonder why we often treat our neighbor so poorly?
Wouldn't it be amazing if we viewed ourselves with the love, kindness and grace that our Father in heaven views us?
If we did, how do you think that would reflect in our views of our neighbor?

 

[humble soul]

Wouldn't it be amazing if we viewed ourselves with the love, kindness and grace that our Father in heaven views us?

I try to imagine the Prodigal Son story. As that is the one that best exemplifies his love for us.
Ive never been a parent. that surely gives you a better insight into God's love for us.
Actually I had a difficult day today. and it is hard to feel God's love. I don't trust my boss. I think He is using and abusing me. I have to find a way to communicate to Him with respect. I need God's love to help me find the right words. And now I cant sleep. after losing my work keys plus hitting my head on a cupboard, requiring 3 stitches. what a day!
im trying to pray right now. But only superficial words come out.
Dear Lord, help us all today on this forum, see you better. See you and feel you and therefore believe in you. And most of all receive your awesome love and light. because the world is dark and my mind can get that way too. Bring your truth to us, so that we make good choices every day with good intentions. Lord hear us.

 

[JohnDB]

Ok...
We are people...the intristic quality of which means that we do dumb stuff...(sin nature)

We all shoot ourselves in the leg when training for the big race...

But true humility isn't self deprecating humor...it's accurately accepting your strengths and weaknesses. Not over inflated ego and not seeing the value you bring to the table.

Where it becomes problematic is when you have passions but do not invest yourself into those talents.

You talked about writing...and you believe that you have some talent for it. Have you gone through the task of educating yourself and honing your skills as a writer?
It is a painful process...

When I studied to learn each of my many different talents and became accomplished at them, every single time it was a painful process. It was boring at times. My feelings got bruised often. My muscles and joints and fingers often paid the price while learning...

But I never doubted that I would one day be as good as I wanted to be. I may not be the absolute best in my field but I could do a respectable job at being good. And that's what the real goal is.

I never played horseshoes or bean bags...but when a tournament of men is going on...I show up and play as best as I can...of course I don't win. But that isn't the point now is it?

It's about being one of many...and as a group I am one voice that brings something unique to the table. I don't have to be the most important voice...God sets those up...but the group wouldn't be as large if I wasn't there.
I become part of something larger than myself...and I matter because I am one of the group.

And when it comes time for leading... maybe it's me and maybe I just need to be a friend to the leadership. Depending upon the talents I have and those around me have.

I obviously can cook well. I'm a four star/five diamond chef. Trained by some of the finest chefs in the world and at the finest school for doing so.
And a lot of guys/husbands like to play in the kitchen too. So I challenge them and compliment them when they rise to the challenge. (Some Guys love competition)
But the real goal is for them to be active in our group, for their family's sake... which is what I want most.

That's the point... you bring value. The group isn't as good without you in it. Even the guy who annoys you the most and everyone wishes he would just shut up brings a value to the group. The group isn't complete without him.

In the end... what it really is about is giving. And it isn't something as cheap as money. It's about giving the most valuable thing....you.

 

[stovebolts]

humble soul ,
So sorry to hear your having a difficult time today. Like yourself, I have a special connection to the story of the prodigal son. As I've grown in years, my view had shifted from being the prodigal son, to bordering on the eldest son. It's much easier to be a prodigal where the Father is lavishing us with gifts than to be the eldest son, and casting judgment instead of sharing our Fathers joy.

I hope your day goes better.

 

[stovebolts]

Ok...
We are people...the intristic quality of which means that we do dumb stuff...(sin nature)

We all shoot ourselves in the leg when training for the big race...

But true humility isn't self deprecating humor...it's accurately accepting your strengths and weaknesses. Not over inflated ego and not seeing the value you bring to the table.

Where it becomes problematic is when you have passions but do not invest yourself into those talents.

You talked about writing...and you believe that you have some talent for it. Have you gone through the task of educating yourself and honing your skills as a writer?
It is a painful process...

When I studied to learn each of my many different talents and became accomplished at them, every single time it was a painful process. It was boring at times. My feelings got bruised often. My muscles and joints and fingers often paid the price while learning...

But I never doubted that I would one day be as good as I wanted to be. I may not be the absolute best in my field but I could do a respectable job at being good. And that's what the real goal is.

I never played horseshoes or bean bags...but when a tournament of men is going on...I show up and play as best as I can...of course I don't win. But that isn't the point now is it?

It's about being one of many...and as a group I am one voice that brings something unique to the table. I don't have to be the most important voice...God sets those up...but the group wouldn't be as large if I wasn't there.
I become part of something larger than myself...and I matter because I am one of the group.

And when it comes time for leading... maybe it's me and maybe I just need to be a friend to the leadership. Depending upon the talents I have and those around me have.

I obviously can cook well. I'm a four star/five diamond chef. Trained by some of the finest chefs in the world and at the finest school for doing so.
And a lot of guys/husbands like to play in the kitchen too. So I challenge them and compliment them when they rise to the challenge. (Some Guys love competition)
But the real goal is for them to be active in our group, for their family's sake... which is what I want most.

That's the point... you bring value. The group isn't as good without you in it. Even the guy who annoys you the most and everyone wishes he would just shut up brings a value to the group. The group isn't complete without him.

In the end... what it really is about is giving. And it isn't something as cheap as money. It's about giving the most valuable thing....you.

Well said, and amen.

 

[humble soul]

But true humility isn't self deprecating humor.

You mean I'm not humble?
You come across as having a healthy self-esteem John. Thats good . Youve always given 100% perhaps. that great.
i cant say the same for myself I admit. I dont always try hard enough which is what you are suggesting. I know you dont mean to come across as insensitive and judgemental but that is how I read it. As if to say "look if you only had a great attitude like me, you wouldn't be moaning on a thread like this about life and the world."

Maybe in general, Americans don't have a problem with self-esteem. My parents had very low confidence. They struggled to love themselves. My siblings too. I thought low self esteem was a more common problem. Apparently not.

 

[jasonc]

You mean I'm not humble?
You come across as having a healthy self-esteem John. Thats good . Youve always given 100% perhaps. that great.
i cant say the same for myself I admit. I dont always try hard enough which is what you are suggesting. I know you dont mean to come across as insensitive and judgemental but that is how I read it. As if to say "look if you only had a great attitude like me, you wouldn't be moaning on a thread like this about life and the world."

Maybe in general, Americans don't have a problem with self-esteem. My parents had very low confidence. They struggled to love themselves. My siblings too. I thought low esteem was a more common problem. Apparently not.

22 a day

 

[humble soul]

22 a day

Now ive got to decipher Zen Buddhist koans as well?

 

[jasonc]

Now ive got to decipher Zen Buddhist koans as well?

Nope 22 vets end their lives

 

[jasonc]

Read my posts on my,battles with it .self esteem is a part of it

 

[humble soul]

Nope 22 vets end their lives

I am glad you think that is clarification.

 

[jasonc]

I am glad you think that is clarification.

More soldiers die from suicide then those who have died in iraq and afghanistan

 

[for_his_glory]

In God's eyes you are the head and not the tail. This one verse started me on a course to overcome my low selfesteem and to start loving myself for whom I am and not who I thought I was.

Deuteronomy 28:13 And the LORD shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the LORD thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them:

You do matter in this life and with all of us as you complete your self with those things you bring to the plate that matters the most of who you are in Christ. Here is one of my testimonies I have written and I pray it ministers to your heart as all our love and joy is not within our self, but in the Lord who has loved us first and has taught us to love our self as we love others.

God bless your heart humbled soul.

 

[humble soul]

Read my posts on my,battles with it .self esteem is a part of it

Ok...if I can find them.
Do you mean vets suffer more? perhaps I don't have a clue what real suffering is?

 

[for_his_glory]

MY TESTIMONY

May 18th 1997



I am lost, confused and scared. Will I ever fit in anywhere in this life? I'm hurting, but who cares. I'm lonely and all alone within myself. I've been so used and abused. Where and when will it be my turn! Where are the open arms to hold me and hug me, to tell me I do matter in this life! Where is the voice to calm my tears of pain? I give and give, but nothing gives back in return. I'm mad and angry for what has been taken away from me! How do I go on? I search for God to answer my needs, but never get an answer.



I am a voice that cries out in the wilderness. Will no one listen! Will no one care! I feel like I am invisible at times and when I pray I feel my prayers are falling on deaf ears. I know God loves me. He has rescued me from death and destruction. He has rescued me from wanting to commit suicide. I have never opened my feelings with anyone except God. I have purged and purged until I cannot cry anymore. God has forgiven and forgot my past, how do I! I've been told I am strong and can handle my situations, guess what, I am not strong and I can't handle it anymore! Please God help me!



I am now ready to open up. I can't deal with the pain anymore. I want to let loose and completely die to myself and live for God. I'm asking for total deliverance of all the holds Satan has on me. I'm tired of fighting this on my own. I'm tired of Satan laughing at me and making me feel like nothing and always coming against me. Jesus, save me from my torment! You have called me into service and I am not ready. Lord God please perform a complete deliverance in me. Make my feet straight for what you are calling me to do. Show me how to do your will. Lord you know my heart and you know what I feel I need to do. Open that door and prepare me away.



This is the answer God gave me. When you cry out to him, he will hear you and speak to your heart. You might not like the answer he gives you, but if you really listen it is always the right answer.



11 Kings 5:10, 11

But Naaman was wroth and went away and said, Behold, I thought he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God and strike his hand over the place and recover the leper.



God was showing me in the above scripture the beginning of relying solely on him and not what man could do for me. I was going from church to church trying to fit in with the people. I was trying to find answers and help for myself through the recognition of man. All that got me was more disappointment and frustration. When I learned to give myself totally over to the Lord and rely on him alone and his word is when my life completely changed for the better. Now I serve God with a glad heart and praise him for all his wonderful blessings.

 

[jasonc]

Ok...if I can find them.
Do you mean vets suffer more? perhaps I don't have a clue what real suffering is?

This is a thread on its own

 

[jasonc]

This is a thread on its own

Some vets want to,end it over loss of limbs,they survived when their buddy didn't ,or in my case it haunts you,you are angry,sad,have lost purpose and don't understand it.

War changes you.you hate it yet want to be there because of the brother hood .no church or job stateside can come close.you die when you leave country but you don't know it. Until one day

 

[HeIsRisen2018]

Yes I love myself and I'm not afraid to be myself and if you don't like me for who I am then that's your problem not mine.